September 24, 2007 6:15 AM
Everything hurt as he stretched, or tried to stretch, on the too small couch
for his frame. Spike sighed and gave up, slumping back into the cushions. After
Max and the LA gang had left last night, he had hidden himself in his study
to avoid the politeness that was his wife. Finally sometime after midnight he
had thrown himself onto the couch and fell into an exhausted sleep.
He sat up and started to swing his feet over the side but stopped as he realized that Buffy was curled on the floor sleeping beside him. She was wrapped in the comforter from their bed with her hands tucked under her head.
“Buffy,” he called softly as his fingers lightly ran over her hair.
“Good morning,” she whispered and rolled over onto her back. “I wasn’t sleeping very well.”
“Why are you down here?”
He knew why but he asks anyway because he wants something to wipe away the hurt and humiliation from yesterday.
“You know I can’t sleep without you,” Buffy whispered. “I’m sorry for being a bitch yesterday.”
“Yeah, you were. It hurt.”
Her eyes closed as she accepts what she had done to him. As she started to speak Spike laid a hand across her lips.
“No, don’t. You were and I understand to a point but that is the first time that you have made it personal. Do you really hate having me touch you?”
Buffy shook her head, “No, just the usual not wanting to be touched and being frustrated and scared.”
It was enough. He would accept her words as truth because they have come too far to bury themselves in lies and secrets.
“You were right to a point though. You do have enough to worry about without this too.” Spike turned so that he was lying on his stomach and looking down at her. “I shouldn’t have been pushing you.”
“It’s okay. We’ve handled everything together and I should have just opened my mouth and said that it was too much.”
“Yeah, better than lashing out.”
“Yeah, you the king of lashing out giving advice to me.”
“Yeah, I am giving advice to the bitch.”
They both laughed and knew they were okay again. Their eyes caressed the other’s face with all the fervor of making love for the first time relishing that they had come through so much that it took so few words to understand and make amends.
“I want you to do something for me though,” Spike said. “I want you to call Dr. Parker and have every test that they can do on you done. Let’s rule out the physical.”
“Okay, I’ll do that.” Buffy closed her eyes for a moment. “Spike?”
“Yeah?”
She opened her eyes and looked up at him almost sadly. “Nothing, I’m just tired from this weekend. It’s kind of making me out of it.”
“You sure? You know you can tell me anything.”
“I know, baby. Like I said I’m tired and I’m feeling kind of wonky. It’s probably just the baby and everything going on.”
“Probably but go on upstairs to bed, Pet, and get some more sleep. I’ll get the kids off to school this morning.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with the kids this morning? Shit,” Buffy pushed her hair back as she sighed in frustration. “Sean, we didn’t call his parents last night.”
“So, what do you want to do?”
“Take him to school and register him? We’ll talk to his parents later and if we need we can send him back but we don’t want him to miss anymore school just in case.”
Spike sat up with his feet resting on Buffy’s legs. “You know when I agreed to try for a baby I didn’t agree to become Pa Walton.”
The sound of her laughter was good as she struggled to get out from under his feet. “We’ll just call him Sean Boy.”
“Funny, Ma.”
She pulled him down for a quick kiss before standing up and wrapping the comforter around her. “If you’re sure that you can handle everything then I am going to take you up on your offer and go back to bed.”
“Yep, I can, get the kids and the chickens fed before I go on out and cut some lumber and dispense with some parental advice.”
Buffy started down the hallway as she said, “Good night, Spike.”
But Spike didn’t hear her as he headed for his computer to check his email before rousing the children.
~~~~~~~~~~
September 24, 2007 3:15 PM
The fourth bedroom upstairs had been used as a storeroom before they had pretty
much decided that another teenager would be living with them. So, after spending
the day taking the kids to school, getting Sean registered for classes and cleaning
the house, Spike was now trying to clean out this room so the boy would have
someplace to sleep besides the couch.
“What’s going on?” Buffy asked softly as she leaned against the doorjamb. After taking her husband’s advice she had spent the day sleeping on and off and had just come from taking a long soothing bath.
“Hey, thought we’d put Sean in here.”
“Oh, I thought we were moving Eli in here and turning his room into the nursery.”
He furrowed his brow as he turned to look at her. “We were? Don’t really remember the conversation. It must have been the same one when we decided for you to start on themes for this nursery.”
“Are you saying I imagined it?”
“No, pet, just don’t remember it, that’s all. There were a lot of people around this weekend maybe you talked to someone else about it.” He moved some boxes next to the wall. “We have accumulated a lot of junk over the last few years. Do you want to go through any of it or just move it to the basement?”
“Why not move it to the attic?”
Spike stood and put his hands on his hips. “See, I was thinking that we’d go ahead and talk to Xander about the attic. By the time the baby gets here we could move up there. There’s plenty of room to add a nursery in the corner. Then when he’s old enough he moves into Elijah’s room who by then will have moved into our room.”
“Do we want to add an actual room up there for the nursery?”
Laughing he moved to stand in front of her, “Buffy, the way we are multiplying kids at this point we are going to end up like the Gilbreths instead of the Waltons.”
“Only a difference of four,” Buffy wickedly smiled at him. “So, Mr. Blood are you saying you want eight more children? The big bad vampire has memorized children from movies and television and wants to emulate those kinds of families.”
“Actually, I watched them and fantasized about eating my way through the whole family. Would have kept Dru and me fed for days.”
“Eeew, major eeew,” She grimaced then her eyes flew open, “You aren’t even considering…”
“Oh, good God no, Buffy, how could you even think that?” Spike turned back to the boxes, “Actually, was an only child and when I was human I used to dream about meeting the perfect woman and having lots of kiddies. Don’t know how I thought I was going to do it. Too shy too approach anyone much less make babies with anyone.”
Buffy felt her eyes tear up at his confession. Whenever he talked about the dreams he used to have it always tore at her because most of them had been broken somewhere along the line.
“Well, good luck on finding the perfect woman but I think the lots of kiddies part is coming true,” she quipped.
Then as if they had conjured them up the front door slammed.
“Mum, Dad, we’re home. Got Eli like you asked and something got delivered for you, Dad.” Raven’s voice bellowed up the stairs.
As Buffy looked at him, Spike shrugged his shoulders, “Didn’t order anything. Let’s go find out what it is.”
With him leading the way they moved down the stairs and followed the sounds of voices and the slamming of the refrigerator door as the children found something to eat.
“Mummy, you never told Daddy about the checklist. I almost went to school without it,” Elijah announced as his parents came into the room.
“Bad Mummy for not telling him about it. Did you set him straight?” Buffy asked as she went to hug and kiss him hello. Every morning she played a game with her son, to make sure he had everything for school and it was dubbed the checklist game.
“Yep, he knows now, even about telling me not to use powers.”
After quick hellos, Spike asked about his delivery and Raven pointed to a long floral box on the counter. His brows furrowed he approached it as if it was going to explode.
“We ran into the delivery guy outside, so I just signed for it. Was it okay?” Raven asked.
“Yeah, should be,” Spike said as he pulled the card free. He looked at Buffy who was standing by him. “Did you send these?”
“Not me,” Buffy said with an undertone of jealousy. “Who’s sending you flowers?”
He slowly pulled the card out of the envelope as if he didn’t really want to know. The words were printed and he knew that it had been written by the clerk at the store and not by the person who had sent them. All the card read was ‘Soon it will be as it should be’.
“It’s got to be from her, the one that was sending letters to the publishing house.” Spike said as he handed the card to Buffy. “I’m going to go and call Barney.”
Hurrying toward his study he didn’t see Buffy lay the card down and follow him. As the study door started to close behind Spike, she pushed it open again to step into the room and quietly she shut it behind her.
”Are they from her?”
“From who,” Spike responded as he picked up the phone and started to dial.
“Are they from your whore? Are they from the bitch who tried to take you away from me?”
The venom in Buffy’s voice startled Spike and he turned to her. His eyes widened at the fury that marred her face and made her body tremble. He clicked the phone off as she advanced on him, her stride almost seductive in its intent.
“Don’t lie to me. Max said she was out on bail. Are you seeing her again?” Her voice had dropped to an icy whisper as her eyes dropped to his crotch then slowly made their way back to his eyes.
“No, Buffy, you know I wouldn’t do that.” He defended himself as he fought the disbelief that she would really think that he would even look at another woman at this point much less gauge in an affair. They had offered their lives for each other. How could she think that anyone else could even interest him now?
“How do I know that? How? You did before.” She walked forward as he stepped back until he is pressed against the desk. ”Are you feeling overwhelmed? Or is it the fact that I won’t fuck you every five minutes?”
“Don’t do this, please. I love you, you know that. I wouldn’t look at another bird. Not now. Everything’s been so good between us.”
As fear clutched his bowels that she might not believe him, she pushed him backwards until he sat on the desk. Spike searched her eyes for a sign that this might be a joke or something other than what it was. But there was only jealousy and anger in her eyes as she leaned close to him, softly nuzzled his face with her nose before she kissed him harshly.
“I won’t share you again.” She whispered as her hands kneaded at his hips.
“I know, Love. Don’t want anyone but you.”
“Good, I’m glad to hear that because I wonder if the torture you like so much would feel as good now as it did when you’re body was cold and dead.”
“What are you talking about?” Since his transformation and her pregnancy the games they had played had been pushed aside. Spike had tried more everyday to stay in the light, to act and be more human than ever before. But her words brought back reminders of the blackness that still tempted him.
Spike tried to back away from her but she clutched at his shirt to keep him where he was.
“Don’t, Baby, I would only hurt you enough to remind you that you are mine and I’m the only one who truly knows who you are.” She kissed his neck and scraped her teeth slowly along his flesh. “But the bitch who is trying to take you away, I’ll drain her a little more everyday and make you drink her. Do you understand me?”
“Yeah, I do.” More than you’ll ever know because I’ve done it before, he thought as she kissed him one last time before turning and leaving the room.
~~~~~~~~~
September 24, 2007 3:45 PM
After his wife had left the room Spike told himself to breathe and to calm down. It had to be hormones and some of that ‘not feeling right’ from this morning. He sighed and closed his eyes as he replayed the previous scene again wondering why she would get jealous when she already knew about the letters. Somehow the woman who had written them had tracked him down, not that they had ever really tried to hide. His books were published under the only legal name he had. Eventually anyone could find them but now he was thankful again that the security system had been installed just in case the woman decided to visit.
He picked the phone up and called Barney. His editor told him that he would call the police, explain the situation and have them come out to take a statement. Not that it would do much good, he explained, except to chronicle the woman’s advances. Until she did something threatening or showed up there wasn’t very much they could do. The letters had come from a PO Box and the person who had taken it out had given a false address. Thus the reason she had probably switched her method of contact. As Barney explained things to him, Spike hoped that Buffy hadn’t destroyed the flowers or cards in her jealous tantrum.
After a few minutes, Spike hung up from him, and tried to call Sean’s parents. All he got was an answering machine, so he left a message explaining the situation and his name and phone number. After he hung up he laid the phone on the desk, his fingers almost caressing it as he tried to talk himself out of what he wanted to do. Then before he changed his mind he quickly picked it up and dialed.
“Angel Investigations,” Cordelia answered.
“Hey, Cordy, can I speak to Angel?”
“Everything okay?”
Her voice switched to worry mode after hearing Spike’s voice because he never called unless there was something wrong.
“No, everything’s fine. Just want to talk to him, that’s all.”
“Hold on.”
It took only a couple of seconds before Angel was on the phone, expressing his wife’s concern on finding out that his Grand-Childe was on the phone.
“Nothing’s really wrong. Did you find out anything?”
“Not yet. Wesley and Fred are researching pregnancies and vampires but nothing yet. What do you mean, not really wrong?”
Spike sighed again and leaned back in his chair. He hated his weakness for needing to talk to someone, especially Angel but it was if in this situation he was the only one who would understand. The only one he wanted to unburden to instead of the friends he had made over the years. Maybe because Angel was the only one who had ever loved Buffy as much as he did and knew what it was like to lose her.
“You know the woman who was sending me letters at my publishing house.”
“Yeah, did she send more?”
“Kind of,” Spike laughed mirthlessly. “She sent flowers to the house this time. Buffy went ballistic, accused me of having an affair. She even thought it might be Donna sending them.”
“Was it Donna?”
“No, God, I was wrong to even call you,” Spike started to click off the phone when he heard Angel calling for him. “What?’
“I had to ask. I believe you if you say its not.”
“It’s not.”
“What did Buffy do when she went ballistic?”
“She threatened to torture me to remind me who I belonged to.”
Angel laughed, “Come on, Spike, that’s sounds like something you’d actually enjoy.”
“It wasn’t that. It was when she threatened whoever was trying to take me away from her. She threatened to kill her. A human.”
Neither of them spoke for a moment as both contemplated Spike’s confession. Finally, Angel broke the silence.
“Spike, she has tried to kill a human before. Faith.”
“Yeah, but that was different.”
“How? Because Faith had tried to kill me first. Buffy thought about it, planned it and went after her.”
“True, but she also threatened to feed this woman to me…yeah, Faith again. I’m sorry I’m probably over reacting.”
“Spike, look, I’m not telling you to dismiss it because it has precedence but keep track of the weird things she says or does. It might have something to do with everything that’s going on with her. Okay?”
Talking to Angel had helped to put things into perspective and had taken the edge of panic off of Spike. Buffy probably was just making sure that her territory was safe. Things had changed and now there were four children involved and it wasn’t something that Buffy would just let go of for anything or anyone. She could be as fierce as any lioness protecting her young and maybe that’s all this was. This afternoon was just a reminder that she would fight for him if she had to.
“Thanks Angel. I appreciate you listening to me.”
“That’s what I’m here for. Just add the time to your bill.”
And with that Spike hung up on him.
Laughter floated to him from the kitchen and he made his toward it. He watched them for a moment as Buffy talked to them about school and homework. It was a total switch from just a few moments ago when she had threatened him. There was no trace of the earlier anger as she relaxed with her children.
When she spotted him she gestured for him to join their circle and he went willingly to her and the warmth she was offering again. He sat down at the table beside her as Sean launched into a tale of his first day in gym class and Spike felt an almost surreal atmosphere around him as he listened to their conversations and wondered briefly if he had imagined Buffy’s jealous tirade.
TBC
