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Chapter 21 - Hope and Devastation


July 10, 2007 7:45 AM

The small family accompanied by their friend made their way dejectedly through the tunnels toward home. When everyone had woken that morning the adrenaline rush of last night's flight had worn off leaving them dealing with the fear. For each of them the fear was a little different according to who they were in the family structure.

Spike was afraid for his family knowing that he was now a target to be discarded like yesterday's garbage. He was unable to protect them as he saw fit leaving him feeling less of a man than he wanted. Buffy would have to carry more of the load as protector of the house. His heart was finally opening to the idea of being a husband and father and to even entertain the thought that they would be pulled from him alternately made him want to run from them before the pain could even come or run with them. If he chose that path then he would pick the mode of transportation this time. Never again would he run in a damn RV.

Buffy could only see the arrow that protruded through her husband's chest making everything in her want to wrap her arms around him and never let go. She had tried to reassure him the night before but she knew that with these human adversaries he was completely vulnerable unable to fight back either for himself or them. Her hand tightened involuntarily on Elijah's as her fear and concern for the children came second to her. They had already lost their own parents, been on a cross country flight with someone they later found out had been inadvertently involved in those deaths, now to have to be afraid that their new home was no longer safe had to be overwhelming for them. Lastly the rest of the family moved through her mind. It had to be horrible for them to have to send their babies away even if it was to keep them safe. She wished silently that it were just some hell-raising demon they had to fight instead of this unfamiliar territory of humans.

Raven remained silent while walking behind her new parents and Elijah. She kept telling herself that nothing mattered to her but herself. It was safer that way because no matter what you cared about was eventually lost to you. Just as she had been letting herself become attached to these people, well mostly Spike, and this new life it seemed that it could all disappear in one breath. She resolved to build her walls again and only let Elijah close to her. Mommy wouldn't have it any other way and she wouldn't disappoint her no matter what else happened.

Elijah only knew that he was scared because the people around him were scared. Mummy and Daddy weren't taking the time to carry him or reassure him leaving him to feel left out of something. He just wanted to go home so that things could be the way they were before they left.

Finally Clem, taking up the rear position on the trek home, watched the small family ahead of him. Over the years Spike and Buffy had become closer to him than he thought was possible. They had taken him in without a second thought, treated him as part of the family and he vowed to help them in any way that he could in the coming fight. It was also a relief because he would now be living in the actual house with them and it would be easier to keep an eye on everyone, especially the children.

Everyone froze at the same time as they reached the tunnel directly under the house. The door leading into the basement, at least what was left of it was barely hanging on its hinges. Most of it was laying in pieces around the tunnel. With collective resolve they began to move into the basement with Elijah who was finally feeling better about things as he now rested on Spike's hip. Light poured down into the basement because that door was in the same condition as the one they had previously been through.

"Let me go up first." Buffy said hating the fact that that her words would only make Spike feel more useless. Although they both knew if anyone was up there that it had to be her first.

After he gave a terse nod Buffy climbed the stairs to the first level of their house. As soon as she stepped into the hallway she knew it was bad. It was worse than bad as she involuntarily gave a sharp cry at the destruction just in that one area. As her cry gave way to pain she felt Spike and the others behind her. Their reaction was the same as hers. As one they turned toward the living room gingerly stepping over the paintings and furniture that had once decorated their hall. Their front door had also been left open to the world.

It was in the main room of the house however that the full force of the Soldiers hatred began to dawn on them. Nothing was left where it originally stood. The furniture had been overturned, the pictures and paintings torn from the wall, and the television screen had been smashed in. The most heinous thing that they had done though was actually the least amount of damage. The heavy black out curtains had been torn from the windows in an act of making Spike's home unsafe for him to walk in safety. It was something that they would find had been repeated throughout the entire house.

No one spoke a word although Elijah began to sob and tears fell from both Buffy and Raven. They traveled together toward the kitchen then stood in the doorway as they cataloged the damage there. The dishes and glasses had been pulled from the cabinet and broken against the floor. The refrigerator doors had been opened and then the appliance had been turned face down onto the floor.

Spike suddenly handed Elijah to Buffy as his eyes turned toward his study. That was where his most precious items were along with copies of his first book and notes for the current one. Buffy could see the panic in his eyes as he started to walk that way. With a quick kiss she passed Elijah on to Clem and told them to wait there while she followed her husband into his study.

It was at this time that Raven thought of her new room and what little possessions she had left from her former life and she turned to run upstairs. Clem felt the call of his new imposed role and followed her.

"Spike," Buffy called to him softly as he knelt on the floor assembling papers. She looked around the room at the overturned bookcases and smashed computer knowing that this would hurt him more than most anything else would. After a century of a nomad existence this house and especially this room had become his stability.

"I guess I deserve this," he told her as she came to kneel beside him.

She reached out to start stacking the papers again and found a few files were still intact. The further they had gone into the house it seemed the less attention they paid to details.

"Why would you deserve this?" Buffy asked him softly knowing that he needed to open up about this before it tore him apart. She watched his hand reach for some papers only to pull back sharply as the sun hit his flesh but she remained silent waiting for him.

"I wanted to leave you and this house, wanted to be bloody free to do whatever I wanted, and now this. Didn't think it would hurt so much. It's just a fucking house, for God's sake." He bit back a sob as the pain ripped through him. They had worked on this house for so long, waiting to find each perfect piece before buying it and now it lay around them like rubble. "Or maybe it's payback for all the hurt and damage that I did before. Why hurt you though?"

A hand was run gentle over his head as he closed his eyes in an attempt to regain control. His hand reached up to cover hers pulling them down to his lap. His eyes opened as he looked around his study knowing that nothing in their lives was ever going to be the same.

Their silent reflection was broken by a piercing scream from upstairs and they stood to run toward it. It didn't take long for them to realize that it was Elijah that had screamed but was now crying.

"Rufus. I want Rufus." He repeatedly asked for the stuffed dog that Spike had bought for him the first time they had gone to the mall.

When Spike and Buffy reached his room they found him standing by the door crying while Clem and Raven were attempting to move the overturned furniture. Spike knelt by his son.

"Can't find Rufus, huh? Let Mummy and me try."

He quickly kissed Elijah on his forehead before turning toward the others.

"Let Buffy and me move this stuff."

Raven crawled back over the mattress to take Elijah aside as Buffy, Spike and Clem began to move the furniture. The mattress and springs were still intact but the bed had been splintered when it was flipped. After piling the bed against the wall and putting the dressers upright they found the stuffed dog in the corner. With a triumphant smile Spike held the untouched dog aloft and carried it to his son.

"Thank you, Daddy." Elijah hugged the dog to him as his thumb returned to his mouth. "You too Mummy."

Spike reached for Buffy's hand as they moved out of his bedroom to look at theirs. It was as bad as the living room in the destruction. Their mattress had been shredded and all the contents of their dressers overturned onto the floor before the drawers were smashed. Everything on Buffy's vanity had been swept onto the floor with many of the bottles broken. A quick glance into their closet showed that their clothes had been pulled from the racks and left on the floor.

"How bad is your room, Raven?" Buffy asked.

"Pretty much like this." She moved without realizing to stand closer to Buffy. "Why did they do this?"

"To try to put us in our place. To show that we are not good enough to have all of this." Buffy told her while slipping an arm around her shoulder. Raven sank into her for a moment then remembered her earlier decision and stepped away from Buffy.

"So, now what do we do?" Clem asked hesitantly noting the shell-shocked expression on everyone's face.

Buffy glanced down at her watch then looked over at the children.

"I'm going to cancel our appointments for this morning and reschedule. Then I guess we start cleaning up," she stated softly. It was going to be a major undertaking to get this house in order again. Buffy pulled her cell phone off the waistband of her jean to dial the number for Sara's and Denise's office. The appointments were rescheduled for that Friday after she quickly explained the circumstances. While she had been talking she had moved to the stairs taking a seat on them about halfway down.

Spike had followed her coming to sit on one side of her until Elijah squirmed his way in between them while Raven and Clem took seats behind them. The next call that Buffy made was to Giles.

"Is everybody else's houses okay? And the store and school?" She asked immediately after Giles said hello not giving into the luxury of any small talk.

"They are fine. I've talked to everyone this morning. What's wrong Buffy?"

"They ransacked our house, Giles. Most of the furniture and stuff is destroyed." Tears threatened to overwhelm her for a moment but she quickly pushed them away. There wasn't time for them. It was like she had told Raven the night before some things that took precedence over her need to indulge in tears. Lately though it seemed everything took priority over her need to grieve. Spike's hand slipped into hers to give her a squeeze in support.

"I'm sorry, Buffy and tell Spike that I am. Look I'll call everybody and have them come over to help as soon as they can. Is there anything that I can do right now?"

"Find the son of a bitches and string them up," she responded honestly to her Watcher's question. Then when met with silence she gave a bitter laugh and sighed. "Giles, would you call Angel and make the arrangements for tonight?"

"Certainly. And I will be over as soon as I can."

"Thanks, Giles. I appreciate it."

Buffy hung up the phone and laid it on the stairs next to her. It was time to plan a course of action for the clean up. Although at the moment it seemed too overwhelming and she dropped her head into her hands as she studied her feet. She wondered what would happen if she suggested that they leave it all behind and start over somewhere else. Not that she really wanted to leave this place where she and Spike had begun to build lives together. There wasn't really a choice but to buck up and start doing what needed to be done. As she raised her head she saw Max coming up the front walk. He smiled when he realized that he had been noticed.

"Max!" Raven exclaimed and ran down the stairs to hug him.

Elijah afraid that he was going to be taken away cuddled closer to Spike. Max returned Raven's hug while saying hello to the others. His eyes glanced curiously at Clem.

"Clem this is Max. Max this is Clem a friend of ours who is going to be sharing our house for a while." Buffy introduced the two men.

"Hi, good to meet you. Hey, Spike, Elijah." Max finished greeting everyone with one eye on the mess in the hall. "Looks like they left you a calling card."

"Yeah, they did." Spike said while watching him suspiciously. He hadn't forgotten that Buffy had met with Max while he was gone.

"I was in Los Angeles when I got your call this morning and thought I would just run the names up and see how you guys made out last night," he explained as if he could read Spike's mind. "The whole house like this?"

"Yeah, it's pretty bad." Raven answered. "Even the refrigerator got overturned."

"I’m hungry." Elijah piped up.

Max watched the look that passed between the couple that indicated that they were both on the edge of falling apart.

"Look, why don't I take the kids and pick up some breakfast for everybody? Give you two a few minutes alone to figure out what needs to be done."

Spike looked up at him getting ready to turn the offer down when he noticed how excited Raven was at the idea and even Elijah was beginning to relax again around Max.

"That would be great." Spike relented to the majority opinion as Buffy looked at Max in gratitude of the offer.

Max looked up and asked Clem to ride along with them surprising the demon with the man’s casual acceptance of him. He nodded his agreement because this way he could make sure this guy wasn't going to do anything to Raven or Elijah. Before they left Buffy asked Max if he minded picking up some blood for Spike.

"No problem. We'll be back in about an hour." Max told them as he started to shepherd everyone out of the house leaving Buffy and Spike alone.

Galvanized by the relief of suddenly not having three other people there Buffy moved quickly into the kitchen searching for the hammer and nails that once were kept in a drawer. After a few moments of kicking things around she found them and moved toward the living room. A loud sound of wood breaking reached her as she came through the doorway.

Buffy hesitated only for a moment as she watched Spike begin to move the broken furniture that he could reach without going into the morning sun that stretched halfway across the room. She pulled over what was left of a china cabinet and scrambled on top of it holding the curtains next to her. Spike stopped what he was doing to watch her as she pounded nails into the curtains leaving them haphazardly hanging but still keeping the sun out. As one area was now safe Spike came over to help her by moving her and her impromptu 'ladder' over as she needed it. The action alone of reclaiming some security for Spike began to make her feel in control again.

It didn't take long for them to complete the task and as she dropped the hammer for the last time Spike reached his arms up for her. She dropped down letting him catch her before placing her on her feet.

"It's ruined Buffy.”

"Not everything. Not us," she reminded him softly.

"You're right not everything." He responded while bending down to pick up what used to be a table leg. With a roar he raised it over his head bringing it repeatedly down on what was left of their television. When it was in pieces at his feet he began to throw the rubble into a pile in the middle of the room, breaking or smashing it even further before it landed.

"Come on Buffy release a little of that pent up tension," he told her when he realized that she was looking at him in something akin to horror.

"That's our stuff that you are finishing destroying."

Spike tossed her a partially demolished lamp telling her to smash it. Buffy looked from him then down at the lamp then threw it with everything she had against the wall. It broke into even smaller pieces with a satisfying crashing sound.

With a smile at Spike she joined him in the further demolition of what used to be pieces of furniture that they had thought would last forever. It felt good though just to let go and let the anger and pain out on something that wouldn't care if she did or not. The sweat ran down her back and between her breasts as she and Spike picked the couch up together and threw it into the entrance hall. As she let go Buffy lost her balance and landed on what used to be the coffee and end tables. On her way down she reached out to grab Spike and ended up pulling him down on top of her. For a moment she just wanted to lie there and catch her breath while Spike rested on top of her.

"Feel better?" She asked him as her hand drifted across his back.

He rose up with a cocky grin on his face as he shifted over her pushing his leg between hers. His knee came to rub against her as he whispered, "I am getting there", leaving no doubt as to what would make him feel better. After deciding that he had been right before and maybe he was right this time too. She raised her head while tugging his down so that their lips met, teeth and tongues both battling for dominance.

Hands began to tear at clothes as they both wanted to the feel of skin to skin. Hunger drove them on as his t-shirt willingly parted under her hands. Her shirt was roughly pushed up and her bra torn under hands needing contact with her. With a sigh he rested briefly on her letting their skin connect but it wasn't enough as he rose up again. Lips parted only momentarily for her to breathe then returned to their battle. His hands impatiently undid her jeans pushing them down her legs while she curled them to help.

Buffy laughed as she broke away from him after realizing her jeans were caught on her shoes. Then somehow the shoes were kicked or pulled off then she pedaled her way to being open for him. Spike pushed her knees apart and lay on top of her. They sighed in unison as their bodies touched, the anticipation that their need was soon to be quenched nearly unbearable.

"Now," Buffy implored not wanting or needing foreplay.

Spike had other ideas as he bent to suckle her nipple, pulling it gently with his teeth, then returning to suck on it. Desire darted from her breast down to between her legs making her wet with need. A moan fell from her as she arched up toward him trying without words to tell him how much she needed him inside of her. Ignoring her message his hands held her hips down as he moved to concentrate on her other breast wanting to torment her a little longer before taking her.

Buffy began to scratch lightly at his back trying to stop the teasing that he was forcing on her already aching body. Then as he kissed his way down her belly, nipping and licking, she wrapped her hand in his hair and pulled his head back to stop him in mid-motion. He grinned up at her in a way that infuriated her. Her desire took over and she yanked his head back sharply. A growl resounded around her as his fingers dug into her hips.

“Don’t wanna play, Buffy, so tell me what you do want?” Spike moved over her positioning himself at the entrance to her heat allowing the tip of his cock to slide teasingly into her.

“Fuck me.”

“With pleasure.”

With one forceful thrust he was all the way inside of her making Buffy bite her lower lip to keep from gasping aloud. Her feet tried to find a solid base so she could arch her hips to drive him deeper but ended up only scrambling uselessly on pieces of wood. Realizing that there was little stability beneath them she wrapped her legs around him in an effort to keep them together. But as he pounded ruthlessly into her the rubble shifted driving splinters into her back and bottom.

“Hold on,” she said before flipping them so she that could escape the pin pricks of pain. Not wanting to lose the momentum that they had she shifted to her knees so that she could slam down on him. The feel of him so deep inside of her only drove her to keep the relentless pace in spite of the wood that now dug painfully into her legs.

Freed from the responsibility of trying to keep them together Spike let his hands drift from her waist to capture both of her breasts that were swaying in time to the rhythm she was keeping. He cupped them softly at first listening to the mewling sounds that Buffy made. His thumbs drew circles around her nipples watching them harden. Buffy’s response to the violence earlier and now this heated response from her now was driving him into a primal need for pain. His fingers twisted one nipple only enough to cause her a twinge of pain just to see how she would react.

Without breaking her rhythm she arched away from him until her hands rested on his thighs. She smirked at the accomplishment of removing herself from his game momentarily.

“Yeah, think you got away,” he sneered up at her as his hands shifted to her sides so that he could tug her down against him. To hold her there one hand splayed against her back while the other wrapped her hair around his hand so that he could replay what she had done to him earlier. Spike was careful not to pull it too tightly so as not to hurt her.

Buffy refused to yield to his supposed victory as her fingernails gently dug into his ribs just enough to show him that she wasn’t defenseless yet. Her hair was wrapped a little tighter around his hand trying to get her to yield to his show of strength.

“Maybe I don’t want to get away,” she whispered in surrender but not wanting to relinquish all her power she left small ribbons of blood down his side as a reminder of it.

In this small respite to set rules and boundaries all movement below their waists had practically ceased. Spike, the conquering hero of the battle, turned them so he could now control their quest for mutual pleasure. His hands held him above her as he moved slowly within her. His eyes watched every nuance of her face as he took his time to rebuild the earlier desperate pace.

“Is that all you got, lover, because it feels like someone forgot to eat his Wheaties?” Buffy taunted.

Spike laughed as he pulled almost completely out of her then slammed back into her with everything he had. At her grunt of approval he continued the punishing thrusting as the sound of their flesh slapping together echoed around them. Buffy pulled his head down offering her neck to him but he refused the offer only nipping with blunt teeth. Her hands roamed his back down to clutch playfully at his ass before moving back up to cradle his head when he especially pleased her.

The rubble unable to take their movements anymore, slid with them. Buffy rolled them finally getting them to the security of solid floor. Once again on top she began to grind against him creating more friction for her aching clit. Her breath fell in heated bursts across his chest creating goose bumps in their wake. Everything around her was becoming a hazy fog as she concentrated on building the pleasure and the heat for them. Her breasts dangled just above him creating an electric anticipation between his flesh and hers. Unable to stand the teasing Spike pulled her down against him so that their bodies rubbed together making her nipples pebble up from the chafing. The building need for release began to grow in him and his hips thrust upwards trying to get more than the grinding movements she was making.

“No,” Buffy told him as she pulled off of him wanting to be in control only to find herself on her back again.

“Not this time. I won remember.”

As he tried to enter her again she tried to wriggle away from him while her hands pushed at his chest.

“I told you not this time.” His voice was menacing as he grabbed her arms pulling them over her head. After pinning them down with one hand he moved over her pushing back into her while she struggled against him. Once he was buried inside of her he released her hands confidant of her surrender but Buffy retaliated for his show of strength by slapping him. Spike’s head snapped under the force of her hand while his eyes closed for a moment before coming back to look down into her eyes.

“You are mine. Now and forever, don’t deny me what is mine.” His blue eyes glittered with emotion as he started to thrust forcefully into her again.

“Yours? I told you no.” Then she laughed up at him as she flipped them again. A gentle kiss was laid on his chest before she rose up so that she could give him the deep penetration that he seemed to be craving.

“Lost it didn’t you?” Spike asked as he looked up at her. “Just couldn’t stay in the game. What a little prissy girl you are.” His voice changed into a higher falsetto voice as his hands rested on her waist. “No, don’t do that. Good girls don’t do that. Oh, I can’t be bad like that.”

“I am not a prissy girl.” Buffy snarled at him before helplessly breaking into laughter again. “I love you, you big pain fetish person thingie.”

“Just need you, Buffy, need you so bad.”

Spike held his hands up to her beckoning her toward him again. When she was laying on him again he rolled them. This time the wall stopped them and Buffy was wedged between his body and the wall.

“Guess we ran out of places to go.” Buffy told him as she wrapped herself around him. Now all she wanted was gentleness and love.

“We will never run out of places to go.” Spike told her as somehow he managed to stand while still holding her. She was now propped against the wall as he began to thrust into her again alternating with grinding so that they were both getting what they wanted.

She squirmed against him trying to find her release which was somehow eluding her in the games they had been playing. Her hands touching everywhere she could while her lips kissed all the available flesh. Instinct began to take over as they moved together and her mouth closed over the flesh on his shoulder. She knew that he wouldn’t care if she did as her teeth sank down into him. Blood ran into her mouth and she sucked on it tasting for the first time his blood in such an amount. Memories ran through her mind of when she had tasted Dracula’s blood and wondered if she would get such a response from Spike’s.

At first there was nothing but the acrid taste as it flowed down her throat then she felt power and desire and her body came alive as never before. Every nerve and cell felt the sexual pleasure between them and she could hear the blood flow in her body and the beating of her heart. From a distance she heard Spike growl in response to her feeding and his fangs scrapped against her own shoulder but he never bit. Every sense was heightened and her cunt throbbed in need like never before. She moaned as she felt his cock filling her making her stretch to accommodate him. Every thrust was like an earthquake within her body and she felt her orgasm building rapidly. The blood flow started to slow and she couldn’t let it go yet and shook her head like a dog to tear the wound even more. Spike cried out in pain but she didn’t care as her release came upon her so strong that she finally let go of him and arched back into the wall screaming his name.

Spike held onto her as she trembled against him. He slowed his movements as her walls clamped down around him squeezing him like she never had before. Then his own release came and he leaned against her forcing her back into the wall while Buffy curled around him limply. Her face nuzzled against him as he held her.

“You were right;” he whispered “there is always us.”

TBC

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