July 27, 2007 3:10PM

The delicate scent of summer flowers drifted on the afternoon breeze. Buffy stopped briefly to absorb the scent, breeze and tranquility of Tara’s garden before stepping through the gate. Tara had created a place out of time and space in the small yard behind the cottage. Flowers bloomed everywhere with herbs and medicinal plants growing alongside. There were benches and swings for a body to sink onto and let the world outside the fence disappear.

Buffy slipped her sandals off and walked barefoot through the grass toward the witch whose help she was seeking. The afternoon sun was warm on her skin as she pushed her sunglasses further up her nose.

“Hello, Jacob, what are you doing been all penned up?” Buffy cooed to the little boy bouncing a greeting out from his play pen.

“Hi, Buffy,” Tara said while glancing back over her shoulder to see her friend before returning to her weeding.

After hugging Tara’s son and returning him to his pen, Buffy came to sit between him and Tara.

“Hello, Tara,” Buffy replied while her fingers first played with the hem of her sun dress before plucking blades of grass from the ground.

“Where is everybody?”

“Raven is shopping for tonight with Dawn and Faith, so her outfit should be interesting.” Buffy smiled and allowed a contented sigh to be released. “And Elijah and Spike and Clem were playing Chutes and Ladders when I left the house. Spike and Clem were taking the game a little too seriously so I hope Eli can keep them in line.”

“Poor Eli. I wonder who is really watching who.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

“So, Raven is looking forward to tonight?”

“Yep, the thought of going out to The Bronze, even with parents and family in tow, has got her worked into a frenzy of total girldom. She had to have a new outfit with all the correct accessories. And of course, Spike was thinking she was totally crazy for asking.” Buffy straightened up a little with a smug smile, “it’s kind of nice to have more girls then guys in the house now. Eli always sides with us so he can’t be counted with them. Spike very dutifully handed the credit card over when he was told by three females that of course she had to have new clothes for her social debut. But I think a lot of it was having his daughter out among boys. He is so not going to handle her dating well.”

Tara laughed softly at the thought of Spike being ganged up on by the women in his house and of him dealing with Raven among boys.

“Is everything okay with Faith being there?”

“Yeah, she’s been a big help with the slaying and even around the house. Never would have thought it of Faith though. Clem has like this huge crush on her and follows her around constantly like a puppy. It’s kind of cute actually.”

Tara laid her weeder down and turned to sit so she was facing Buffy.

“I meant with Faith and Spike.”

“Oh,” Buffy shrugged. “It’s fine. Spike has been great this week. When he’s not working he’s into family time and me. He’s been helping with the house too and been really sweet to me. Back massages and cuddles.”

“So, no worries about the two of them in the house together?”

“Yeah, every once in a while, why?” Buffy worriedly asked. “Is there something I don’t know?”

“No, sweetie, I was just wondering. I mean after the whole Donna thing and with Faith’s history. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Said what about what?” Willow came out to join them taking a seat on the grass close to Jacob.

“I was asking about Spike and Faith.”

“Oh, that.”

“What do you mean, ‘oh that’, what is ‘oh that’?” Buffy asked. “Now you two are worrying me.”

“No, Buffy, don’t be worried, it’s nothing. We were just talking and Xander said that the first night that Spike was looking at her and we were just worried.”

“Xander!? Is everybody talking about my marriage?”

“No, Xander and Anya were over for dinner and...and...” Willow looked over at Tara to help her out of the mess she was creating.

“We all love you and yes, we will talk. You’ve done the same about us. Families talk.”

Buffy looked away realizing that no matter how much she tried to play off ‘the everything was okay’ routine eventually everyone learned the truth. Even Spike and herself.

“No, everything is okay. Spike looks sometimes but I can’t say what is going on in his head. It probably doesn’t help because I try to over analyze every move he makes.” Buffy told them quietly. “I woke up the other night and he wasn’t in bed and I went searching for him. He was up in the attic with Clem watching some old movie and I felt stupid. He knew why I was there. Why I was looking for him. Clem even knew. I want to trust him. He’s doing everything right, like he did in the beginning, trying to make me feel safe and loved. But I keep wondering if it’s going to last and what I am going to do to mess things up.”

“You can’t blame yourself, Buffy. He has to take responsibilities for his actions. He is the one that wanted Donna; he is the one that was looking at Faith. He was the one who wanted to run.”

Buffy nodded absently not wanting to hear. They didn’t understand. If it wasn’t her fault then it was out of her control, if it was out of her control, then he could make the decision to leave her or cheat on her and if he did that then she didn’t know if she could handle it.

“Buffy, listen to me.” Tara reached for her hand, “Do you love Spike?”

“Yes, more than anything.”

“Then let him make his own mistakes, his own choices, let him be responsible for what he does. No matter how much it hurts.”

Buffy turned to look at her friends again, “I don’t know if I can.”

“Buffy, I had to let Willow go because of the magic. I had to stop forgiving her, to stop making excuses for her I had to let her know that I wouldn’t take anymore.”

“She’s right,” Willow agreed turning to smile at her partner, “if she hadn’t made me make a choice then I probably would have ended up lost to it. Do you believe in Spike? That his intentions are for the best.”

“Yes. I know he’s trying and things haven’t been easy…”

“No excuses. Spike always has excuses for himself or given to him by others. Cecilia didn’t love me, Angelus was cruel to me, Drusilla left me, Buffy and her friends won’t accept me, I’ve got the chip in my head, Buffy wants things I can’t give her. Just because things are rocky doesn’t mean you have to make bad choices. I don’t care if he is a vampire or not. Do you believe in him? Yes or no.” Tara persisted.

“Yes. I believe that he intends well, and that he loves me and the kids and that he would never deliberately hurt any of us.”

“Then let him prove it. Let him prove it or disprove it all on his own.”

Buffy nodded slowly. She knew she had to let the control go. She had to find a way because she wanted to trust him without him having to prove his love with big gestures. She wanted it with the little everyday ones.

“Okay, I’ll try.”

“Good.”

“Thanks as long as you two don’t charge me like Sara does.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. Family is for this too.” Willow added. “So, did you come over just for the therapy?”

“No, actually I came over for some magic. It seems that Raven and Elijah can sometimes hear Spike and I, well, when we,”

“Have sex, make love, make whoopee…” Willow offered.

“Not in front of Jacob.” Buffy corrected glancing over at the boy. “But yes, when we have sex, and I was wondering if one of you could put a spell around our room so they can’t hear us but we can still hear them.”

“That won’t be difficult, Buffy,” Tara consented then glanced at Willow before continuing, “Xander said that Elijah was also picking up on you in pain. Is this from the new things that you and Spike are exploring?”

“Yes and not major pain. I think sometimes it’s more of me being uncomfortable either emotionally or physically more than actual pain,” Buffy explained. “Can a spell be done for that too?”

Tara nodded, “Are you okay with this stuff that Spike wants you to do? You just said uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable in the sense of not being in control or being bound,” Buffy stopped and a faint blush crept over her cheeks, “This is embarrassing but, no, he hasn’t hurt me. Nothing we do involves actual hurting either of us. The only pain might be in the biting but that is good and it’s not every time.” Buffy didn’t really like telling even them this much of their personal life but she knew they wouldn’t be irresponsible enough to do a spell blindly. “Spike likes this kind of stuff, I’m learning to like it and it’s not hurting either of us, so I want to do what ever I can to make him happy.”

July 27, 2007 10:45 PM

The strobe lights made mad dashes across the room, highlighting something of note before racing off to its new interest. The pounding beat echoed off the walls before returning to permeate Spike’s being and he released his body to its primitive call. His eyes fluttered closed in his surrender as the crush of humans surrounding him sang out with such innocence to his demon and it rejoiced to sing along in their chorus. Senses overloaded by the tangy smell of their sweat, the ripe need of their arousals, the crescendo of their hearts beating and the blood that rushed through their fragile cavities, drove him to a gnawing hunger that had long been abandoned. A yearning crept through him for lives once lived and he felt the urge to slip back into the night. He resisted the instincts that vibrated through his body and flung his head back to inhale sharply of the masses around him.

As bodies brushed against him also in their kinetic need to fulfill the dance, Spike allowed himself to slip into a fantasy. More of a memory of a time long past when there was still four. Of a pub outside of London, of a game created from too much ale and wine, of too much bloodlust and too many easy victims and too much boredom from days when the rain wouldn’t stop. A game to see who could slide the most distance in the blood and booze that ran freely over the stone floor. They had ended up naked and covered in it; licking blood from whoever’s body was closet.

Except now his fantasy was not of them, never again of them, but of Buffy and a room where blood flowed from unknown sources. The laughter of Buffy echoed around him as they frolicked naked in the sticky nectar and the tongue touching him was only hers. The body that pleasured him was only hers.

His eyes sprang open as he felt a body too close, too intimate, then he knew it was her. As if she knew he was thinking of her, she was there backing up to him. Her bottom gyrating against him and he lowered his knees slightly to give her what she craved. A contented sigh swept through her as they connected together while his cock stirred against the luscious feast presented before it.

Abandoning the fantasy he wrapped his arms around her, his nose buried in her hair as he inhaled pure Buffy. It was her sweat, her arousal, her heartbeat and her blood rushing through veins that now sang to him. He knew he would take this sweet reality of his woman a million times over the fantasy of only a moment ago. Her essence washed over him in waves and he surrendered to her again as he moved in time with her. A new fantasy and a wish that he had brought the duster with him crowded his mind.

A pair of eyes tickled at his conscious and he looked up to find Raven staring at them. Spike smiled at her then straightened up to give more space between him and the woman in his arms. Buffy wasn’t ready to let him go, not having seen their daughter’s look of embarrassment, and she raised her arms to link her fingers behind Spike’s neck. To ease the separation Spike ran his fingers slowly up her arms until his fingers were entwined with hers but as he went to pull them down, another pair of hands locked over theirs holding them in place.

It was her. He didn’t need to look, only to smell, to know that it was Faith. Her body pressed along his back mimicking the movements that Buffy and he followed. For a moment arrogance swept through him at the thought of two Slayers pressed against him, a vampire, both of them filled with the blood of a powerful aphrodisiac. He wondered briefly if another creature like him had ever had the pleasure not only of killing two of these worthy opponents but of also being so crushed between them. Then the thought danced briefly of what it would be like to be able to abandon everything and pull them to a corner and let them continue these movements toward a better conclusion.

Spike knew this was going to lead no where good and he brought his hand down still clenched by the two women. With a light kiss that encompassed both of their knuckles he let them go and slipped off the dance floor. When he reached the edge he glanced back and saw them still dancing with their fingers entwined.

A few moments later, a cold beer clenched in his hand, he returned to watch his wife dance with this woman. Wild and primitive they moved in synchronicity, two creatures more than human and less than animal. Beautiful in the rawness of their moves and the blinding electricity they created.

“You okay, Buddy?” Xander appeared at his left with Anya beside him.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I saw Faith’s move and your quick withdrawal.”

Spike laughed bitterly and took a drink of his beer. “Even if Buffy wasn’t saying anything, eventually it would have been my fault. Better to get out before anything happened.”

“Smart idea.”

Spike shrugged and watched his wife for a moment more then decided to ask the question that had been preying on his mind for a few days and made more urgent by the last few minutes.

“Did Buffy and Faith ever…well, did they ever shag?”

Xander spit his own beer out that he had been trying to swallow then began to choke. Anya pounded on his back while flashing Spike a dirty look. After a few moments Xander managed to get a grip again.

“Everything all right?” Willow asked as she and Tara came over to see what was going on.

“No, everything is not all right. Fangless just asked if Buffy and Faith were ever lovers.”

As the sentence left his mouth everyone turned to look out over the dance floor observing the two women in question.

“Well, did they?” Spike asked again.

“No, not as far as we know.” Xander stated then with the look from Willow amended his statement, “No, they never did. Too much bad stuff between them.”

“But Faith sure did lead Buffy into some bad stuff too.” Willow added.

“And Buffy went willingly?” Spike asked but already knew the answer.

“For a while but she came around.” Xander confirmed.

“She always does,” Spike muttered under his breath.

“Xander did.” Anya piped up.

“Xander did what, Love?” Spike responded.

“Xander slept with her. With Faith.”

Spike’s eyes went wide as he turned to pat Xander on the shoulder. “Congratulations, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“It didn’t end good. Nothing with Faith, back then, ever did,” Xander told him.

“Nope, it sure didn’t.” Willow agreed.

Spike turned to look back at the floor realizing that it wasn’t just Buffy that had the trouble with their new house guest but some where along the line Faith had hurt his family too. He had heard the stories before but it wasn’t real until now when once again Buffy’s friends were looking in on her as she played with Faith.

“Dance with me.” Anya demanded lovingly as she headed for the dance floor while dragging Xander behind her.

Not that the excitement was over Tara and Willow began to slip away again.

“Willow, Tara, could I talk to you two birds for a minute? Please?” Spike called before they got away.

The two women consented following Spike as he led them outside for their talk. Once there Spike shuffled around for a few seconds while Tara and Willow waited patiently for him to talk to them.

“I was wondering if you two could make me some more of that tea.” Spike finally got out while he looked away from them.

The two witches looked at each for a moment before turning back to Buffy’s husband.

“The fertility tea?” Willow asked.

“Yeah, I was thinking that maybe it would be a good idea if I was drinking it.”

“Then you and Buffy have decided to try again?” Tara asked as she looked at Willow again in confusion. From their conversation with Buffy earlier it had seemed like the last thing on her mind.

“She doesn’t know,” Before they could say anything Spike lifted his hand as if to ask them to give him a moment to say what was on his mind. “Look, everybody keeps telling me that stress will hinder the process, right? And I thought maybe if I was taking the tea and she didn’t know, so she wouldn’t be stressed from trying, then maybe it would happen.”

“But, Spike, you would need to keep track of her cycles.” Tara reminded him gently.

“I have kept track of Buffy’s cycles since the day she moved in with me. I know them better than she does.” He replied then chuckled at Tara’s confusion.

“But why would you…oh, oh,” Tara started to ask then realization dawned on her as her cheeks tinged pink and her eyes got bigger.

“Spike, don’t you think that you should discuss this with Buffy?” Willow asked as she slipped her hand in Tara’s.

“I told you why I don’t want to. Talk to her and if you think that she no longer wants a baby then I won’t do it. But I know she still wants one but there is too much going on for her to have any more stress added on. I’ll watch the calendar and take the bloody tea and find a way to hang her upside down for the time needed.” He pleaded with his friends for their help. “I’ll take the stress and the disappointment myself if it doesn’t work.”

“That’s the other thing. The stuff, the two of you have been doing, playing at, you’re not going to be able to do that. If she would conceive it could injure the baby or keep her from holding on to it.” Willow added. If there was a way she wanted Buffy to be able to have her baby but wanted to make sure that Spike understood what needed to be done. Both women were surprised when Spike readily nodded his head.

“Whatever it takes for Buffy to be happy, I’ll do it.”

As Willow gave her consent to bring him some more of the tea, Spike heard a familiar cough and the faint smell of cigarette smoke.

“Why don’t you two head on in and I’ll be there in just a minute?” Spike said.

Willow and Tara turned to head back into The Bronze as Spike headed toward the alley. He moved quietly toward the small figure leaning against the wall smoking. The girl was turned away from him and never noticed him approaching until he reached out and grabbed her arm.

Raven flicked her hand back imprinting the burning end of the cigarette into Spike’s arm then flung her hand bag back hitting him on the head.

Not knowing which one to grab first Spike first reached for the burn then for his head, “Bloody hell, girl, what are you doing?”

After seeing who she had just clocked Raven’s eyes opened wide and her mouth fluttered open and shut a couple of times as she stared at Spike. Then defiance hit home, the one that had driven her out here in the first place, and her jaw snapped shut and her eyes closed to almost a slit.

“And what are you doing sneaking up on girls in alleys?”

“And what are you doing in the alley besides smoking?” Spike demanded as he reached for the cigarette then finally snatching it when Raven refused to hand it over.

“Obviously taking care of myself.” Refusing to give in to him, Raven crossed her arms in front of her while jutting one foot out in front of her.

“Is that so?” Spike asked. He lifted the cigarette to his lips, inhaling deeply of the offending material then slowly allowed the smoke to drift from his nostrils. “Here you do it,” he told her as he handed it back to her.

“You want me to smoke?”

“Just do it.”

Sensing a trap somehow Raven reluctantly took the cigarette back. With a brief look at him she quickly took a small puff.

“No, Princess, the way I just did it. Inhale deeply.” Spike instructed.

Raven put it back to her lips and inhaled the way he told her to and ended up collapsing into a fit of coughing. She had only started to inhale and definitely hadn’t worked up to deep inhalations yet. Mortification ran rampant through her being as Spike laughed at her reaction.

“Just as I thought. Something new you’ve picked up.”

“You smoke. All the time. Buffy does sometimes. You are the adults and if it’s okay for you then why isn’t….”

“Sing me a new song. That one is getting old.”

“Well, why don’t you give me a new tune to work with?” Raven retorted.

“Touché, little one, now hand over your stash.” Spike reached his hand out toward her. When he only received a glare in return, he wiggled his fingers at her. “Now. And that’s the other thing. Stealing is wrong.”

Raven gave a loud sigh and handed over the pack she had taken earlier from his carton. Reaching into his pocket Spike removed the pack he was currently smoking then took the one that Raven was holding out to him. He walked over to a trash barrel and shredded the cigarettes into it.

“When we get home the rest of them go the way of these. No more smoking for anyone. Understand?”

“What are you going to do to me?”

“Do to you? What am I supposed to do to you?” Spike asked in confusion. He had laid down the law and as far as he was concerned that was the end of the matter.

“Punish me, maybe?” Raven threw her arms wide. That was the whole idea to this thing was to push the rules, not that they had ever been stated, and find out if they cared or not. Now, Spike was not going to punish her. That could only mean he didn’t care.

“Well, okay, no video games for a week.” Spike came up with taking away the only thing that she seemed to really enjoy doing. When she had asked about punishing his mind had scrambled to recall what Giles would do to Dawn when she pulled one of her stunts. Removing privileges had always been one of common punishments. He smiled at the look of relief on Raven’s face when he gave her the consequence of her little stunt.

“Are you going to tell Buffy?”

“Yes, I am going to tell Buffy.” Spike waited to see the reaction that Raven gave and when she scowled at his pronouncement he knew he had said the right thing again. “Come on; let’s get back inside before she sends a search squad for us.”

“Fine,” Raven turned to storm off into the club in order to keep appearances up even as her heart was feeling a little better about things.

Spike smiled and shook his head as he started to follow his daughter. Something told him that this was not going to get any easier, any time soon. But it made his heart feel good anyway.

TBC