Hope as Drusilla promised him everything he wanted then she felt the pain as she bit into him, fear as he felt the life drain from him, only to wake in a coffin. Panic as he clawed his way out and Dru’s soft laughter as she waited for him. Her hand in his as she helped to pull him out of the ground and her kiss soft and wanting.

“Are you hungry? Of course you are. I saved her for you.” Then another girl, young and pretty, dressed in party clothes struggling to get away and his driving hunger to take. She struggled in his arms as Dru directed him where and how to bite, the first taste of blood as it streamed down his throat. The hunger satiated and the girl falling to the ground. Pride and a feeling of finally being someone to be feared coursing through him. He wanted to play, to get the revenge and Dru’s giddy delight in his appetite for violence as she danced around him.

A man screaming in pain as railroad spikes were driven into his body as Spike taunted, “See, what you get. Does it hurt? See I am bloody good at something, aren’t I.”

Everything faded then focused again as she felt the shackles on his wrists and the whip cracking across his back and the cold stone against his naked body as he bounced against it from the force of the whip being applied. Then a cool tongue licking across his open wounds sent shudders of arousal through him as he rubbed his erection against the wall. Dru’s fingernails scraped across his ass then squeezed it painfully.

“Is Spike being a good boy? Do you deserve something special?” She whispered to him as the whip cracked against his upper thighs. Pain continuing as she nearly left him in ribbons before releasing him to fall to his knees.

“Come here.” She lay naked across the bed as she crooked her finger at him. And he crawled to her giving only a quick glance to Angelus and Darla entwined, naked, and watching from the chaise lounge in the corner. His only thought was that Drusilla was going to finally allow him the pleasure of her body. He had paid for it with his back as he covered her, his kisses hard and urgent as she wrapped her legs around him, as he fumbled his cock into the cold wetness of her cunt. He had been waiting too long for this, the teasing over the last couple of weeks and he couldn’t hold out. He came too quick, disappointing her, not knowing how to fix it; he mumbled and apologized as she pushed him out of the bed.

“You bad boy,” she said as she wagged her finger at him.

“Here simpleton, watch how a real man satisfies his woman.”

Humiliation and hurt as he watched Angel take Drusilla making her scream in pleasure as Darla taunted and laughed at him from the lounge, before she finally joined the other two in the bed. He was thrown a blanket and left to sleep alone on the floor as he listened to the three of them fuck.

Then more images of more kills, more bodies, more blood then another house where anticipation filled him as he waited for Angelus and Darla to leave. She could feel the smile across his lips as he walked up behind Drusilla, his hand wrapping in her hair as she squeaked in surprise. Her dolls scattering around the table as he pulled her away before slamming her face first into the wall. Satisfaction as he heard her cheek bone shatter and her small squeal of pain.

“Now, listen, I am not going to be the bitch in this relationship. You are.” Spike went toward her again when she flew at him in rage. Her fingernails scratched at his face as she screamed that he was nothing to her but he only laughed. The laughter grew louder as he threw her down onto the table pushing the prized toys to the floor. His hands ripped her dress from her as she ineffectual fought him.

”There are things I have to accept like Angelus but I will have your respect.” He leaned over and kissed her shoving his tongue into her mouth. Dru bit down on it, drawing blood, refusing to let go until he punched her in the side. Her legs drew up from the pain as he held his tongue and watched her begin to cry.

“How does it feel?” The rest of her undergarments were ripped from her as he held her down by her throat.

“Daddy will hurt you for this.” Dru squeaked.

“No he won’t,” Spike pulled her to her feet, where she struggled to stand on her toes because he was still holding her by the throat. “You know why? Because you like this, don’t you.”

Dru landed on the bed where he crawled over her. His fists began to repeatedly hit her as he screamed out his frustration and pain and demanded her love. In the end her wrist was broken; some of her ribs cracked and her arousal was heavy in the air.

“On your knees.” Then when she was too slow from the pain he pulled her by her hair again until she was in the position he wanted. There was no mercy or the gentleness that he had wanted from this vampire only the lust and the violence that she craved as he drove his cock into her body. Dru grunted from the force as he pounded into her, his hands holding her hips in place.

He had known the moment they had returned, that they were watching his taking of Drusilla. Then there was pride as Darla whispered to Angel, “I think our little boy is growing up.”

Then she felt his contentment when later Dru curled into him whispering her love and her desire to him. She was now his to love, protect and nurture.

More time, blood, screams of victims tortured for nothing more than the pleasure of their screams and blood. Men, women and children only selected for their locality, easiness or innocence.

Then a fight and a mob chasing them, the adrenaline and fun racing through his body as he ran, before they hid in a tunnel beneath Paris.

“See, what you have done again. The last time didn’t teach you a lesson, did it?” Angelus grabbed him by the shirt front and throwing him against the wall. “Now, you will pay. I am going to teach you once and for all who is in charge and that you nothing to me but another pussy.”

Fear as Spike realized what he was going to do as Angelus forced him to the floor, ripping his clothes from his body, until he was naked on the stony ground. His knees forced apart as Angelus knelt between them. The first scream as his hard cock was forced into his unprepared asshole, ripping the flesh as he sunk to the hilt into him.

“See, what you are. You are nothing but another whore to be taken in the dirt.” Angelus laughed as he forced himself to thrust in and out of the resisting younger vampire, his blood finally lubricating the way for the fucking he received.

After the first scream Spike was silent, enduring the pain with clenched teeth, his fingers kneading the ground as his cock was stimulated from hitting the dirt as Angelus thrust unmercifully in him and he became hard and aroused.

“Like it, don’t you, bitch? You just have become useful to me,” Angelus sneered as he bent over him whispering into his ear. Spike’s long brown hair was twisted around the other man’s hand and pulled back so that Angelus could sink his fangs into his throat to mark him as taken.

Finally after what seemed forever Angelus finally collapsed onto his back as his body jerked out his orgasm. Standing he left the Spike in the dirt, kicking him before he walked away from him signaling the women to follow him.

Dru stopped momentarily to kneel beside him, her finger wagging in his face, “If you listened to Daddy then he wouldn’t have to punish you. Now, you can’t have cake and tea this evening.”

Spike waited until they had left to let the tears fall. Humiliation as he rolled over and hysterically tried to wipe his traitorous spunk from his stomach as the blood poured down his backside.

Then there was laughter and enjoyment as they dressed to the nines for a trip to the opera, Drusilla on his arm beautiful in red satin. Her hand on his leg as they watched then after it was over, her mouth on his cock as they hid in a darkened hallway of the house.

The images moved quickly again as time moved then clarity in a house as a woman cried on the couch as Angelus tormented her with things to come. He solicited a promise of cooperation from her for protection for the rest of her family. Then Angelus laughed,” Go on, Spike, show how far you have come under my tutelage, take the girl. Show me what a man you are.”

“Yes, show us what a man you are.” Darla prompted as she laughed at his unease.

A girl who could only be just the other side of puberty sleeping in her small iron bed a long gown wrapped around her legs. Spike moved cautiously into the room, pulling the covers back, so far he had only followed Angelus in these matters, she screamed as the strange man knelt on her bed, screaming louder as he ripped her gown from her. Her tiny breasts kneaded roughly as he ground against her almost hairless mound. Fists beat uselessly against him as he plowed into her too small, too dry passage, ripping her ruthlessly as she arched up against him. He laughed as he took her, the bed squeaking louder than the sound of flesh slapping together.

“Mummy, Mummy,” she cried helplessly.

“Your mother is dead,” he whispered into her ear as he emptied his cum into her. It wasn’t until he was halfway down the stairs before the remorse hit in a great wave. He looked back toward the room where he heard the weeping then down the stairs to where Angelus waited his turn. Maybe it wasn’t as much remorse for the act itself then for being a puppet on a string. Even if he would pay with this own body, he decided then that he would choose his own victims and his own way, rather then letting Angelus control him. Spike turned back up the stairs where the girl lay curled on her side, crying, and then trying to crawl away as the monster came back. A gentle kiss was laid on her forehead as a, “I’m sorry,” was whispered to her, before he broke her neck, releasing her to safety and freedom.

An image of a family dead propped up as if they were still alive as the vampires gathered around their table playing card games as they waited for night. They played for the last morsel of food in the house, the infant child of the family, given to the winner for a treat before they went hunting for the night.

Then image after image piling on top of another, more blood, strong in his nostrils, demons fought and humans killed, moments of tenderness and love between Drusilla and him. Sometimes the passion that stirred between the four and nights of bodies crowded into a bed in almost serene sleep.

It was another place, another time, a fight against a young Chinese girl, a Slayer, a worthy opponent for someone that was now skilled in the drawing out the pleasure of the kill. Taunts were exchanged as they danced in an effort to stay alive and then her realization that it would be her last fight. Her final words and thoughts of her mother’s pain as he drank her dry. The blood shared with Drusilla and the power of the sex. Arrogance and superiority as Drusilla crowed of his victory to the older vampires. Never again would he feel to be the lesser of the four.

Time drawn out, memories and things long forgotten drawn out for her perusal, emotions that ran the gauntlet from pain to ecstasy, of another Slayer dead and the claiming of the duster, of more people than it was possible to count taken for nourishment and forgotten, of love grown stronger, and the separation from the other two. The loss of their parents as Drusilla and he were cast to their own life and Spike’s nurturing was finally able to take hold as was his own brand of terror and mayhem. It was his rules to be lived by and their trek to Sunnydale to find an Anointed One.

Fascination and longing for another Slayer as he watched her dance. His impatience to fight her only because he wanted to see her again, to see if she was as worthy as he thought she was. There was his reunion with Angel only to be disappointed by the change in him, then the unhappiness of the return of Angelus. Betrayal and pain was his companion as he listened to Drusilla once again being pleasured by her sire as he sat helplessly in a wheelchair.

Frustration as he fought a losing battle to sustain his century long love only to lose as she kept telling him of his obsession for a Slayer and his betrayal of Drusilla with a pact with her.

The need and irresistible connection lured him to return to Sunnydale again and again but not for the locale but for a petite Slayer, a mortal enemy, too mesmerizing to kill, too much to hope for.

Humiliation, frustration, anger at being a prisoner of the Initiative, impotency and hunger driving him to the edge when he realized that his life had been taken from him. A hope and satisfaction that now he had an excuse to be around her. There was his enjoyment of the fights and arguments, of watching her. A sense of the surreal surrounding them while they were under the spell and his desire for her as they planned their wedding.

The sense of impotency lifting as he found he could fight demons and a feeling of being torn as he worked with Adam against her not knowing if he was right or wrong. A nudging in his brain that told him to be loyal to the Slayer even though it went against who he was supposed to be. His embellishment of his past to impress her and the feeling of rejection as he tried to kiss her before she tore into him repeating the words of Cecily. His tears shed unnoticed in an alley even though he noticed hers not long afterwards as he tried to comfort her. The anger that drove him there was forgotten as she allowed his presence in her time of anguish.

A mixture of anger, loneliness, and insecurity filling him as he watched her window night after night listening to her having sex with Riley and wishing it was him. The hope he carried that she would see him as more than an evil creature when he showed her Riley’s treachery. An image of her ridiculing him for wanting to help and after she had walked away, Buffy saw that he had stayed to help even without the approval he had sought.

Xander’s rejection of his offer of condolences for her mother’s death and a lonely visit to her grave and tears shed for the loss of her friendship and the realization that he had one less ally on his side in Sunnydale.

More feelings of loneliness while pretending a machine could give him the companionship and sex that he desired from a girl that considered him loathsome.

Then the feelings intensified and swept through Buffy as she saw Spike beaten by Glory and his refusal to give her up. She felt his pain and hurt after Xander and Giles had left him alone, no thank you until she had shown up. The kiss that had changed his world forever and he lost the last of his doubts of loyalty to her. And his heart was forever given to her.

Buffy felt his failure as he fell from the tower and his bones breaking as he hit the ground. Then she saw her body lying on the rubble and her friends’ pain and the fact that no one included him in their grief or recognized his. For the first time she really saw the summer that she was gone. Spike fighting every night with them, his watching the house until the last light was turned off and then his lonely vigil filled with tears over her grave until dawn chased him away.

The images and emotional bombardment began to move faster as they got closer to the present. Buffy felt his wonderment and surprise at seeing her walking down the stairs, his empathy when she had told him she had been in heaven and the elation of their first real kiss.

Then the suffocation and frustration of having to take Drusilla to Europe, the shock of finding her living in his crypt, the overwhelming hope of making love to her for the first time and the relief of his name being called.

The pain of their tortured courtship and she felt his guilt as he dealt with getting the soul, things that she had never taken the time to realize over their time together became more real than ever to her. She felt his pain of Richard and the betrayal of her leaving for Dallas, his fear of taking her back if he was going to only lose her again. Their years together slid so easily through their connection, the fights, the love, the sex and their playing and the apocalypses they prevented. The grief of the baby they couldn’t have that ripped through as he hid behind his darker side and his delight at Raven and Elijah becoming a part of them. Then his feelings and lust for Donna and she saw his trying to hold her only to push her away before the act was completed.