Chapter 2 – You Set Me Free
Can’t you see?
There’s a feeling that’s come over me
Close my eyes
You’re the only one that leaves me completely
breathless
No need to wonder why
Sometimes a gift like this you can’t deny
‘Cause I wanted to fly,
so you gave me your wings
And time held its breath so I could see, yeah
And you set me free
You’re in my heart
The only light that shines
There in the dark.
Michelle
Branch
In the end it took Spike six
weeks to leave.
Every day during that time
was a war between his reality and the vague stirrings of his heart begging to
be heard. Buffy, his stalwart companion, stood beside him and in front of him
as they explained to their family that he was going to work with Jake. The
reactions ran the gamut from dismay to anger and some to speculation if they
were finally splitting up. To his amazement Raven was the most supportive of
them all. She defended his decision as much as Buffy did.
One afternoon he listened to
her as she talked to Dawn on the phone. His daughter’s quiet but determined
argument for his leaving made him recognize for the first time his grief for
the loss of his little girl. Raven had never been the same after the fight with
the First. The decisions she had to make, the girls she’d watch die then had to
help bury and the final battle in the pits of hell had forever matured her. She
was a woman now and he missed the sarcastic bite of the girl.
If it hadn’t been for the
love of his wife and eldest daughter Spike would never have gone. He made all
the arrangements for his business dealings to be forwarded to Matrix, his will was brought up to date
and he spent as much time with his children as possible. Elijah and Journey
only knew that Daddy was going away and as far as he knew understood none of
the implications. In his opinion, it was better that way.
This night, his final night
at home, had been spent in the routine of family. And after the two youngest
were asleep he’d packed his bag with clothes, the journal, a camera and some
weapons. There had been a quiet talk with Raven and a long emotional phone call
to Sean--his son was afraid of losing the only security he had. Their eldest,
now in college and living away from home, came back as often as he could to be
with the family. Sean still felt the uneasiness of the time when he thought no
one cared and it took Spike over an hour to reassure him that his family was
always going to be there. And to try and make sure he knew that his father
wasn’t leaving Buffy but was going away to find answers to questions he didn’t
even know he had.
It was
And now at
“What’s the matter, Slayer?”
Spike asked, with a grin. “Am I wearing you out?”
“Never,” Buffy said, pulling
herself up so that she was suspended in the air. Using her hands she pushed her
body into his, met him thrust for thrust, never giving him the advantage.
Spike rocked on his knees
when Buffy gained momentum and slammed into him. He spread his legs a little
further to keep his balance.
“Can’t keep up vampire,”
Buffy taunted, tightening her legs around his ears. “I can go easier on you if
you’d like.”
“Quit the crap, pet, and shag
me.”
She did. Spike fell forward,
catching himself by his hands before landing on top of her as they both fell on
the bed again. Buffy was bent almost double but it didn’t stop the motions of
her hips as she wiggled against him, drawing his cock deeper within her. His
hands covered hers on the bar and concentrated all of his energies on thrusting
into his wife over and over. The bed rocked and creaked from their joining which
was only growing in speed and force.
“Do you like this?” Buffy
asked, her hands grabbing her ankles and spreading herself even further for
him. “I’m at your mercy...open for you.” She grunted when he slid completely
inside her, bouncing against her cervix. “Break me…fuck me…” She panted into
his face as he rested his forehead against hers. “Always your girl…”
She was playing a dangerous
game, pushing him to violence and by the time the name ‘Angel’ slid past her
lips, Spike was already in game face. He pulled out of her, flipping her onto
her stomach. Buffy rose to her knees, meeting him as he thrust easily back into
her cunt.
“Bitch,” Spike snarled into
her ear. He twisted her hair around his hand, pulling her head back. “Told you
before this game isn’t welcome.”
Buffy laughed, pushing him
further from his sanity. She rose back onto her knees and leaned back against
him, letting her head drop to the side. “So, force me to your will…”
Spike loved the power she
gave him. It roared through his blood even as he tore into her neck. Buffy had
lost all inhibitions after that time three years ago and there was very little
that they hadn’t tried. She could be a sex kitten needing adoration one night
and the next she could drive him to his knees in submission. The first time she
came to him wearing leather and bearing a paddle he’d laughed. Three minutes
later, face down on the floor with the paddle being applied to his ass with
full Slayer force, he’d known he’d finally met his match.
Mostly though they shared
the ultimate sexual experience called making love. It was really only times
like these when their emotions were overwhelming did they push the limits of
their games. Spike knew that calling him ‘Angel’ was only a tactic to get him
to play rougher. He didn’t disappoint her.
His fangs were as deep into
the flesh of her neck as his cock was inside her cunt. Her hands were digging
into his ass, forcing him further inside of her. They were both pushing the
edge of their pleasure as they merged into one being. His hand slid along the
drenched plane of her stomach to slip between her nether lips, pinching her
clit. Buffy screamed her pleasure, and he bore her weight as she quaked against
him.
“Come on, Baby, squeeze me…”
Spike begged. “Milk your Daddy dry.”
They fell face forward on
the bed with their asses in the air. Buffy pushed against him, using every
muscle she had to bring him to his own orgasm. Spike came deep inside of her,
staying until he had nothing left to give. He slipped out of her, slapped her bottom
and fell onto his back next to her.
“Ouch, you can be such a
pig,” Buffy panted, collapsing onto her side. She rubbed her cheek where he’d hit her. “It
hurts.”
“That’s what you get for
calling another man’s name in my bed.”
Spike glanced over her. He
wasn’t worried and already knew what he would see before his eyes rested on her
face. Tenderness and love shone from her eyes as she gazed at him. Her fingers
drifted along his cheek before she cupped his face.
“Don’t know what your
worried about,” Buffy said, squeezing his chin. “You’re the only one I want or
can handle.”
“What about when I’m gone?”
It slipped out. They were
both going to have to get used to going without sex again. It was an almost
daily occurrence for them and it would be an adjustment not to have that
release readily available. But it wasn’t just the physical sensations of
coupling that would be missed; it was also an important way for them to
communicate and he wondered how, when words failed them, they’d get their
meaning across.
Spike watched as she crawled
off the bed. With one hand on her hip she leaned against the dresser with the
other hand. It was pure tease as she winked at him and tossed her hair back.
“Silly, already told you
that I want to have an affair with the mailman.”
“Good god, pet,” Spike
exclaimed, laughing at her suggestion. “The man has got to be sixty-five.”
Buffy pouted as she walked
to the bathroom. She stopped in the doorway and looked over her shoulder at
him. “But I’m used to having an old man in my bed,” she cooed before sashaying
away.
“And for that,” Spike
called, rolling off the bed and following her. “I think you need to be properly
punished.”
He stepped into the bathroom
intent on continuing their games. It all changed when he saw Buffy. She had
just finished adjusting the water spray for the shower and was straightening up.
Steam billowed around her giving her the illusion of stepping out of the mist.
She was his Aphrodite, tempting him with the allure of her beauty. He watched
her eyes fill with tears as she opened her arms to him.
“Make love to me this time,”
Buffy asked, choking over her request. “I need you so much.”
Spike rushed to her. His
arms wrapped around her, holding her, scooping her up until her back was
against the tiled wall. This time there was no games, only their love as they
revealed their hearts to each other. The water was icy cold by the time they
forced themselves to pull apart and leave the bathroom. They dried each other
off and fell asleep holding on to one another. Tight in her embrace, he dreamt
of riding the open roads on his motorcycle with Buffy behind him.
~~~~~~~~~
The morning sun peeking over
the horizon was the only thing lending any brightness to the gathering in front
of the Blood’s house. Spike was finishing strapping his pack to the bike while
his wife, eldest daughter, and housekeeper kept vigil. All his other good-byes
had been said the night before and these women were the last to bid him
farewell as was par for the course. In the last few years they had become his
strongest supporters and the ones that managed his life for him. A part of him
quaked at the thought of being on his own again without their guidance but he
understood that it needed to be done.
A final tug to make sure
everything was secure and it was time. Spike sighed and slowly turned toward
the women. He held his arms out and
“You be careful, Spike,”
“I know you will,” Spike
replied, hugging her tighter. He kissed her temple before releasing her. “Call
me if you think I’m needed.” He looked over her head to his wife. “Buffy will
try to handle everything herself but…”
“I promise, sir,”
Raven came to him with a
smile that showed her peaceful reconciliation to him leaving. It gave Spike the
small extra boost of confidence he needed to see this through. It surprised him
when her hands cupped his face. Her thumbs brushed against his cheeks as if she
was wiping away the tears that rolled down hers.
“Always remember we love
you,” Raven told him solemnly. “And nothing is as it seems…so always hold onto
what you know is the truth.”
He wasn’t sure what to make
of her cryptic words but knew if she wanted him to know everything she’d tell
him. So, for now he would take her words to heart, confidant that when the time
came, he’d know exactly what she meant.
“I know and I will,” Spike
reassured her. “Call me even if you just want to talk, all right?”
Raven’s nose wrinkled up and
she giggled. “Sure, I’ll call you when I need a decision on which nail polish
to buy.”
“Just don’t forget me,”
Spike said softly. It was so hard to leave them and still couldn’t believe he
had agreed to this ludicrous plan.
“Oh, Daddy, don’t ever think
we would.”
Her arms, sure and strong,
wrapped around him as she burrowed her face into his shoulder. Spike pulled her
closer, brushing his hand down the long red curls that fell along her back.
This was the little girl who still needed the security that only her father
could give her and he murmured his love to her. Raven nodded, rose on her toes,
kissed the corner of his mouth and before he had a chance to say anything
further she was gone.
“I guess that leaves us,”
Buffy murmured, taking her turn to stand in front of him.
Spike stared down at the
woman who had shared his life and bed for years now and had taken his heart long
before that. The sadness that filled the emerald depths of her eyes tore at
him. He wanted to scream why. Why would she send him away? But he knew there
would be no answer. No other explanation then what he’d been given. Trust was
all he could do. Buffy and Raven both saw this as needed and he would honor
that.
“It always comes back to
us,” Spike said. His hand rested on the curve of her waist just above the hips
that flared so temptingly. “Didn’t Max once say that everything else is built
upon our relationship?”
“The butterfly effect,”
Buffy said. “One phone call so many years ago has blossomed into this.” She
grinned as her hand waved behind her.
“And this,” Spike asked. “Is
my leaving going to change destiny?”
“Everything does,” Buffy
said, shaking her head. “Go, husband, find what you need to find and come back
to me.”
Come back to me.
Words that were spoken by
countless lovers since the beginning of time but for Spike it was one time and
one place that those words were remembered. His mind whirled as the memory over
took him.
~~~~~~~~
December 21, 1916 New York City
Despite the holiday bustle and cheer the city was
still cloaked in gloom. The war had changed everything and everyone with the
deaths that had touched so many families. Humans were trying so hard to be
happy even with the ever increasing disappearance of their men. Women left
behind to fend for themselves and families while their husbands and boyfriends
laid down their lives for the good ole U.S.A.
It was only a few days before Christmas and everyone
was caught up in the busyness of shopping and being happy. “Silly creatures,”
Spike remembered thinking. Why didn’t anyone look twice at the apparently
healthy young man that was beside them or following them? Didn’t they wonder
why he moved among them instead of being sent off to die in a place where he
couldn’t even speak the language?
No wonder it had been so easy to take what he wanted.
He took a final swallow of his meal before dropping the boy onto the ground.
His blood, hot and rich, had felt so good filling his stomach when it was so
bitterly cold around him. He looked down to make sure everything was in place,
wrapped his coat tighter around him before taking a final look at the young
soldier at his feet. His prey had been one of the boys filling the train to
take them off to basic training. The boy had been alone, no girlfriend or
family seeing him off, and had been eager to make a friend. A few casual
comments and it had been so easy. He hadn’t even fought back when the vampire
struck.
Spike sighed, bored with it all, there wasn’t any
challenge in taking someone eager to die. He stepped back onto the platform
trying to decide what to do now. Drusilla had gone off to play with some
vampires who liked to do the society scene. It reminded him too much of being
with Angelus and that had been enough to turn him off of it. Instead, he sent his
dark princess off to play while he remained.
His stomach full, he figured maybe he would head back
to their hotel room and wait for her, but then he saw her. She was beautiful, one
of the most exquisite creatures he’d ever seen. Her hair was a rich auburn that
gleamed in the lights with porcelain skin that he ached to touch. He eased
closer to where she was saying good-bye to her boyfriend? Lover? Husband? There
were tears on both sides as he promised to come back to her. He watched as the
man wiped her tears and kissed her sweetly and it was in that passionless kiss
that Spike knew she had never been taken.
His cock stirred at the sight of the virgin beauty
and knew he had to have her. A little patience was all it was going to take. He
waited through their final goodbyes, her frantic hand waving as the train
pulled away and waited while she wept with a few other women. Finally she moved
to leave and he followed staying in the shadows, inhaling her perfume that
wafted on the icy wind back to him. It stirred his desire even further. So,
lost in her misery she didn’t notice him even up three flights of stairs to her
apartment. Didn’t notice him until his hand covered hers as she went to unlock
the apartment door. Her eyes had been huge as she backed away from him. Her
voice desperate in the soft pleas to allow her to live not knowing it wasn’t
her life he wanted.
“What are you willing to give to live?” Spike asked,
backing her into the wall and leaning his body into hers. His fingertips grazed
her skin that was even softer than he had imagined. She trembled under his
touch, staring at him in repulsion and fascination.
“Anything, sir, my mother, she is asleep in the back
bedroom. She depends on me to take care of her.”
“A little saint, aren’t you? Takes care of her
mother, saves herself for marriage, probably work your little fingers to the
bone to pay the bills, don’t you?”
“I do what I have to,” she’d replied.
“And do you ever do what you want?” Spike asked,
rubbing his growing erection against her belly.
“Please, sir, I promised Jimmy that I would wait for
him…”
“Wouldn’t Jimmy rather have you alive?”
Spike knew he had won when she invited him in. The
first time he took her, she had cried, not letting him please her. By the next
afternoon she was coming awake in his arms, allowing his seductive charm to win
her over. Spike considered vamping her but, in the end decided to just enjoy
her then set her free. He had gone out the next night to feed, leaving the
woman to take care of her mother’s needs, but soon found himself hurrying back.
She was an amusement that he didn’t often indulge in but his smile faded when
he came through the front door and found Drusilla waiting for him.
“I’m bored here,” Drusilla told him. She licked her
fingers. “There’s a train leaving for
There was no one for Jimmy to come home to anymore and
until now…
~~~~~~~
Spike hadn’t thought of that
day again. He shook his head to dispel the unrest that it brought him.
“Don’t,” Buffy said, cupping
his cheek with her hand. “We’ll be here when you come home.”
Of course she would know.
Every memory he had and a lot of Drusilla’s, Buffy carried inside of her. He
wrapped her tightly in his arms, wishing that things were different while he
kissed her. He poured every bit of love he had into it before turning away
without another word.
There wasn’t anything left
to say. The words had all been spoken before, all the sentiments and tears
shared, and now it was time for him to open the next chapter of his life. He
never turned around to watch Buffy wave him good-bye.
to be continued…
