It hurt.

They had said that it would only hurt for a moment but it hadn’t really at first, the pain had started later.

Spike had been sweet, holding her, telling her how precious she was, as he had swiftly entered her. They had said that it would hurt more but be over quicker. The pain had even started to ease off as he carefully thrust into her. It had started again when she opened her eyes and looked up into his. Those blue eyes tinged in yellow as the demon sang its triumph over her. The gleam of victory and she had handed it over so easily. For Angel.

Angel lay on his side watching her, his eyes were filled with passion and need, telling her that everything was all right. Telling her how loved she was and that they would always be together. It had to be her. Her own doubts and fears that she had seen reflected in Spike’s eyes. Angel loved her and would always love her and take care of her. He wouldn’t turn her over to someone that would hurt her.

She had tried to find the ardor again. To get lost in Spike’s body that was moving over her and in her.

But it felt like her insides were being rubbed raw with every thrust that Spike was making. Buffy pulled him down to her burying her face in the crook of his neck, the one away from Angel, so that neither would see it on her face. She moved her hips a little hoping that it would help but it only made it worse. Spike thought she was asking for more and he thrust deeper and faster into her.

A tear escaped from her flowing down his cheek.

He froze buried deep inside of her. Then he slowly eased himself up so that he could look down at her. Angel sensed something wrong and propped himself up on his elbow to check on her. Under their concerned gazes she put her hand over her eyes and sobbed.

Spike’s hand was gentle as he uncovered her face, “Tell me what’s wrong, Pet. Please, so I can make it better for you.” His fingers gently wiped the tears from her face as he looked down at her but Buffy only scrunched her face up and closed her eyes trying to make everything go away. His gentleness was only making it worse. She felt his lips on hers, so soft, kissing her and Angel’s fingers on her arm stroking her in an effort to make her feel better. Their gestures were only making her feel more self-conscious and she knew they would keep at it until she said something.

“It hurts,” she whispered and bit her lower lip.

“I’m sorry, so sorry,” Spike cooed. “We can make it better if you want or if you want to stop I told you that we could. Even now. Leave me in a hell of situation, but I’ll deal.”

“What do you want to do?” Angel asked.

I want to go home. I want this to never have happened. I want it to be you inside of me, Angel. I want it to be like I fantasized.

“What can we do to make it better?” Spike asked.

Why couldn’t it be like the movies or the books? All pretty and soft music and not messy and embarrassing.

Buffy finally opened her eyes to look at them. A flush covered her cheeks as she looked up at Spike and then at Angel.

“I want to finish,” she whispered as she decided to trust Spike to make it better. With what he had done earlier if the pain would go away she knew that he could make her feel that way again.

“I’m going to get out of you for just a minute, okay? Unfasten your legs, Love.”

They must think I’m an idiot who doesn’t know anything, she thought as she put her legs on the bed.

Spike as gently as he could withdrew from inside of her as Angel headed for his bag. Buffy watched as he grabbed his shaving kit and headed back to the bed with it. She could tell he was upset about all this so it had to be her fault.

“Its okay, Buffy,” Spike said making her look back to him. “It’s just one of those things that happens sometimes. I only want you to enjoy this so we’re going to fix this all up.”

She nodded slowly then turned to look back at Angel but found Spike turning her back to him.

“Don’t look at him because when it all comes down to it. It’s just you and me in this.” Spike scooted down a little further so that they were face to face on the pillow. “What happened? I felt you get tense, thought it was nerves, guess it wasn’t. Did you look up and you realized who you were with? The enemy.” He nuzzled her jaw placing kisses along it between words. “Started thinking what the hell did I do? What’s my Mum going to think of me?”

Buffy instinctively turned toward him again as his words rang true and his mouth and his hand on her breast started to make her respond again.

“It’s okay you know. We’re both in this together for the same reason. For Angel. You love him and I need him. You and me, we don’t love each other. Not now. Now it’s just us together trying to make this work.”

“Mmhmm,” Buffy responded as her hand traced along his arm as his hand kneaded softly at her belly.

“But I’m starting to like you and I think you’re starting to like me. We’re starting to see other through his eyes. And I love the way your body feels next to mine. Do you like the feel of my body?”

His fingers slipped between her legs again and she winced for a second as he separated her and dipped inside. She moved restlessly trying to get away from them when he withdrew.

“It’s going to be good. So good, Baby.”

Then his fingers were back, soothing cool, being spread over her and into her.

“What are you doing?”

“Making it easier for you.”

His fingers were gone again and she opened her eyes to see him spreading something over himself. When he was done he came back to her, kissing, licking, and spreading fire over her again until she relaxed and the heat seared through her again.

“Hold onto it. Don’t think this time. Enjoy it.”

Spike rolled them until she was on top.

“This way you control it.” And then when he saw the doubt in her eyes, “Don’t worry we’ll show you.”

Angel came to her, pulling her up until she was straddling Spike, his hands moving over her hips, directing her, then his hand was between them and she felt Spike at her entrance again.

“Go down only as much as you’re comfortable.” Angel whispered to her. “Then come back up. Find a rhythm that you like.”

Buffy slid down only a little. The lubricant made it so it didn’t hurt like before. At first she barely went down at all then as Angel touched her and Spike kept whispering words of encouragement and lust she swallowed more of him with each return. Finally she lost herself in the feelings, refusing to let anything but these two creatures be her world right now.

How do you do it, Spike? How do you make me feel so good? Make this feel so right when it should be so wrong.

Angel slipped away as she found her way and Spike angled her so that she would be more stimulated when she sank down on him. His fingers slid between them to help her along and she felt it coming again, the tidal wave of pleasure that Spike could bring her. Her insides began to ripple and squeeze him as she felt her climax take her over. Buffy stilled over him for a moment unsure of what to do and his hands moved to her hips as he thrust up into her. She moved to match him, thrust for thrust until he found his own release, spilling into her, then pulled her down onto him.

Buffy closed her eyes and rested her face on his chest.

“Always be like this, Spike,” she begged softly. It was a plea for this side of him to stay, gentle, caring, and not to become the enemy that had tried to kill her and her friends again. She couldn’t bear it if she was ever faced with the other one and had to accept what she had really done.

“Going to try to, Love.”

~~~~~~~

Stupid ponce. You’re getting as lovesick as Angel. Oh, yeah, Buffy, I’m going to be a good boy for you. Let you lead me around by the nose. Not that it would be my nose you’d be leading me by though.

Her small hands moved along his sides and Spike ran his hand down her back and then over her bottom before moving back up. He was soft inside of her and could feel himself beginning to slip out while Buffy was warm and languid on him. The sex once she had let go was great and already he couldn’t wait for the next time.

Okay, fine, you are getting to me. But I am still who I am and you aren’t going to change the fact that I’m evil.

Spike sighed as she kissed him softly on his chest and slipped away to lie next to him. Everything was changing for him and he hadn’t had a choice in any of it. It had all started when those bastards put the chip in his head which had led him back to Angel and now to Buffy.

The Watcher had said that maybe he was meant for a higher purpose. That was bullshit as far as he was concerned. He didn’t believe in destiny or regrets or making restitution. Life was meant for having fun and living. Angel wouldn’t know that if he tripped over it and neither would his little girlfriend. But she was cute, a hell of a fighter and was going to end up being a great little fuck once she learned a few things.

He couldn’t wait to get back to Sunnydale and the others found out that he was screwing their precious little Buffy especially that Xander. The look on his face was going to be so sweet.

Buffy moved next to him turning his head to kiss him. She had that look on her face. The one that wanted to declare ownership and as her tongue slipped into her mouth, he knew he was fighting a losing battle trying to resist her. Until he found a way to get the hardware out of his head, Buffy was going to be able to reel him in so easily.

Great, have caused terror to thousands, and all it takes is the feel of her tongue and I’m ready to purr like a damn kitten. Still doesn’t change the plan. First her and now Angel and I am going to be sitting pretty, they are going to take such good care of me, cause they can’t do it without me.

When she had slipped away from him again, Spike looked over to Angel and knew that the poor guy was about ready to lose his mind with need.

Oh, this is going to be good, it’s going to be rough and when it’s over he’ll know he can’t do this without me. Then I won’t have to worry about being alone anymore.

~~~~~~~~

The two of them together had been beautiful. The looks of bliss on their faces when Buffy had ridden him to the edge had been reassuring that this had been the right thing. Angel had almost felt his heart shatter when Spike had covered her and taken her virginity. She should have had normal. She deserved the best that life had to offer. A husband, a home, a dozen kids if she wanted. She deserved to be able to laugh, love, and live long enough so she could die of old age in her bed. It wasn’t going to happen. This fragile, beautiful woman was chosen to be a Slayer. And she was already lucky that she had reached eighteen and the fates would be on her side if she made it to twenty. Angel planned on making every moment that he could be a happy one for her.

Angel needed Spike now. He was almost in pain from needing a release but Buffy was here. Looking up he saw Spike looking at him over Buffy’s head and saw his own need reflected there. His Childe had restrained himself so much for her but he needed to release some of his natural tendencies. But first they had to figure out what to do with Buffy.

She turned her head to look at Angel.

“I want to stay. If you don’t want me to, I’ll go take a bath or something but I’d like to stay.”

Great. She knows what we want to do and she wants to watch. Spike and his big mouth, ‘watching two people can be erotic’, gave her ideas.

“You can stay,” Angel smiled at her while ignoring the murderous looks coming from Spike.

Now I can’t bite him or anything else that’s going to scare her the first time out.

Angel climbed over her while she shifted back to where he had been lying. He had been able to smell their joined passions before but as he leaned over his Childe the scent clinging to him made him want to devour him and he had to fight to keep from shifting to game face. The scent of her blood was stronger here and it coated his flesh. Losing some of his reason, Angel covered Spike kissing him violently. Letting his need lose in his Childe’s mouth and Spike returned it with all the fervor that they craved.

They forgot that she was even there as their hands rushed over the other’s body, their tongues and mouths fighting for dominance, their bodies rubbing against the other until Angel pulled back.

“Can’t wait.”

“It’s okay,” Spike whispered. He knew that Angel needed to fuck now. To give release not only to his body but to the emotions he had been containing while watching the two of them together.

Angel’s hand began to search the bed.

Where the fuck is that lube? If I don’t find it soon I’m going fuck him dry.

It was placed in his hand by her. He glanced at her quickly but she seemed to be handling things all right. As he opened the tube her hand covered his.

“Let me.”

Don’t want to give a tutorial. Just want to fuck him senseless. Don’t want her touching me. Damn it.

Angel released the tube back to her but covered it to show her how much to squeeze out. He led her hand to his cock and he almost came when her hand first touched him then coated him with the lube.

Sweet Jesus. Buffy’s hand is on my cock. Don’t let me cum now. Feels so good.

“Now him,” Angel said. If she was going to do this then let her learn everything. He showed her to prepare the outside then told her to slip her finger inside. “Watch.” Angel took over preparing and stretching Spike as his Childe writhed on the bed, pushing back against his fingers. Buffy’s eyes just got bigger as she watched but she didn’t run or shut her eyes.

They were ready and Angel moved to his knees so that he could hook Spike’s legs over his shoulders, Angel slipped into his tightness taking a moment to enjoy the feel of having his cock squeezed by Spike as they accepted one other. His hands moved over Spike’s thighs then used the leverage to begin to thrust deep and fast relieving the built up frustration in them both. Spike’s hand moved to find his own pleasure but Buffy came to him. Laying her head on his shoulder she placed her hand over Spike’s which he then switched so that her hand was on his hardness, showing her how to stroke him, to match Angel’s thrusts.

The three of them moved together in a seemingly effortless match of stroke for stroke until Angel roared his need to finish and the two vampires came within moments of each other. They lay against each other, connected and touching while they let themselves return to everyday reality. Then Angel slipped from the bed to head to the bathroom, first cleaning himself up then returned quickly to the bed with wet hot washcloths. First he cleaned Buffy up, moving over her gently, careful not to hurt her, then picked her up and moved her to the clean bed. Next he returned for Spike, repeating the caring gesture, before Spike moved to lie next to Buffy followed by Angel who crawled between them. He was pulling rank so that he could be surrounded by them while they slept. Neither of them seemed to mind as they cuddled close to him with their heads resting on his chest.

“Sometimes it’s nice to be taken care of,” Spike whispered to her.

“Nice,” she whispered back.

Angel just smiled as he held them and felt them drift into sleep. Tomorrow they would be back in Sunnydale and their relationship would face their first hardships when the others found out what they had done.

TBC