~~~Chapter 36 - Morning~~~
William lay in darkness,
waiting for the first sound of someone moving around downstairs. He knew Giles would be up at the crack of
dawn. The old man was a creature of habit.
Something that Will admired, but knew he would never be since his mind
flittered from one dream to another, from one lifetime to another as easily as
others breathed. Focus only came when he
gave in to the calling of his soul and let these thoughts be transferred to
paper. Being a writer was one thing in
his life that he was sure of.
The other was the woman
snuggled into his side. The softness of
her hair floated over his arm and chest, tickling his skin but he refused to
give in to the sensation. He didn’t want
to disturb her sleep. He enjoyed the
warmth of her flesh against his, the gentle waves of her breathing, and the
tangle of their limbs as if they were one creature. Buffy loved him.
The past few days had shown
him that she truly loved the man he was, the good and the bad, no matter what
he was or had done. Every moment she
stayed with him, or defended gave proof to that reasoning.
For her he would give all
that he had, but she only wanted him and a future for them and the baby she
carried. He ran the back of his hand
over the soft rise of her stomach.
Without realizing it, he smiled, the first time since the day when the
blackness of his heart was ripped from his chest.
It was time to stop
mourning. The funeral was the dividing
line between his past and his future. He
didn’t want to die with Xander and Cordelia, he wanted to tell them goodbye and
wipe their mark from his life. He wanted
to be the man Buffy saw when she looked at him.
“I promise I will never let
you down again,” Will whispered. He
kissed her temple before easing out of the bed.
Buffy moved into the spot he’d vacated.
Still far away in happy dreams she wrapped her arms around his
pillow. Tears rose in his eyes.
She was happiness.
He crossed his arms around
himself, rocked back on his heels, as he felt the chains of his past start to
unravel. For years he’d been imprisoned
by the fear of being alone, letting it lead him into a hell of his own
making. He swore if it was the last he
did, he would find his way out. He left her in his bed to head downstairs just
as Giles was heading to the kitchen.
~~~~~
Turning from the sink, Giles
reached for the knob to turn the stove on.
He yelped like a puppy when a shadow fell over the counter. He looked up to see a ghost standing on the
other side. Giles stepped back, hoping
he was still asleep and in the middle of a bad dream. The figure before him was gaunt, paler than
fresh snow and his hair curled in a riot of blonde and black.
“It’s me,” Spike said.
Giles shook his head. “Good lord, Spike. You nearly gave a heart
attack.” He put the kettle on the burner
to heat. “Not that I can say I’m not
happy to see you.”
A moment of silence stood
between them as they appraised the other.
They were both changed men from the last time they’d spoken. Lives changed, ended and began around them
and Giles wondered if his young charge was going to survive it all.
“Not Spike,” Will said,
shaking his head. “Will.”
“All right, Will then.”
“Will you help me?” Will stared at the floor, waiting as his
hands moved up and down his arms as if to ward off the chill. But Giles knew that the other man stood on a
precipice. One wrong move or word could
lead to the total mental collapse of a tortured genius and a man worthy of so
much than he believed.
Giles came around the
counter to take Will’s face in his hands.
“Yes, Will. I will help you. What do you want?” Will’s eyes closed.
“Funeral is today?”
“Yes.”
“I need to go. For Buffy.”
Will opened his eyes like a newborn seeing the world for the first
time. He blinked then gave a soft
smile.
“Yes, you do need to
go. Now, I know you have a suit and a
limo is already scheduled to pick us up,” Giles said, going through a checklist
in his mind.
“No,” Will said. He raised a hand to run it through the unruly
curls. “Need to clean up.”
“Of course you do,” Giles
agreed. “I know someone who will come to
the house. Anything else?”
“Afterwards…,” Will
hesitated, looking around his home. His
lips curled in a sneer. “I don’t want to
come back here.” He met Giles gaze with
a determination that made the older man proud.
“Will you make reservations at a hotel for us? A suite so
“Well, that’s the longest
speech you’ve made in weeks,” Giles said, chuckling.
“It’s time…”
“Yes, it is time,” Jenny
said, coming down the stairs. “For all
of us,” she stopped beside Giles, putting her arm around his waist. It was a lovely feeling, and Giles hugged her
back. “I’m happy to hear you making
plans.”
Will took a step back. He shook his head.
“Will, its okay. One step at a time. Okay?”
Will nodded.
“I’m sorry,” Jenny said,
squeezing Will’s hand. “I came on a bit
strong.”
“Yes,” Will said.
When nothing else came out
of him, Jenny giggled. It was that
easy. Maybe the man of words was going
to be one of short speeches from there on in, but it wasn’t a bad thing. If Will continued like this, at least no one
would have to worry where they stood with him.
All they had to do was listen to know.
The kettle whistled. Giles left the other two to return to the
kitchen to make tea. He pondered on
Will’s declaration to go to the funeral for Buffy. The girl’s love was changing all of
them. For the better as far as he was
concerned. Only a month ago, money and
status meant more to him than anything.
He didn’t care what Will and his friends did as long as his bank
accounts continued to grow. Sighing, he
poured the hot water over the specially blended tea he preferred.
This new life seemed so much
better. There was going to be a lot of
difficulties. Like arguing a new
contract with David over the movie deal, and the publisher about forthcoming
books, but mostly the humble pie Giles was determined to eat. He needed to tell Will that he was wrong
about Buffy. She was the best thing to
have ever happened to Will, to all of them really.
Giles assembled the teapot
and cups on a tray to take into the dining room to join his fiancée and the man
he’d come to see as a son. He took a
seat at the table, setting out the cups, fiddling really while he listened to
Jenny talk gently to Will. She was an
amazing woman, and he was grateful she finally agreed to marry him.
Maybe things were going to
be all right after all.
~~~~~~
A shiver danced along her
spine. Something was wrong. Of this, Buffy was certain. Sitting straight up, she wiped the last of
sleep from her eyes.
“Will,” she called out when
she realized he wasn’t in the bed.
No answer. She threw back the covers, ignored her slippers
and robe in her haste to find her husband.
Every morning since that day, she woke still wrapped in Will’s
arms. She hurried down the hallway,
glancing into the closets on her way. At
the end were the bathrooms, but he still wasn’t to be found. Fear clutched her heart at the thought that
something was wrong.
The night before while they
waited for sleep, she’d mentioned the funeral.
As usual there wasn’t a response, but now she worried that it was too
much for him to handle. What if he left in
the night, running from a truth that wasn’t waiting for him to catch up
anymore? What if Will was through with
everything?
Buffy turned back around,
running as she hit the hallway.
“Will, where are you? Will?”
She yelled as all of the stress of the last couple of weeks caught up to
her.
“Buffy?”
It was Giles. Not Will that answered her. She grabbed the banister to the stairs
leading to the bottom floor. Somehow she
missed the top step. She screamed as she
scrambled to find her footing. There was
nothing but air until she grabbed the banister breaking her fall and sending
her solidly down on her ass. She took a
deep breath as she tried to pull herself together. A flutter in her stomach sent blind terror
racing through her.
Her baby! She cried out, but this time someone was
there. Arms pulled her close, rocking
her as she tried to fight her way to reason.
“I’m here, Buffy, I’m here,”
Will crooned in her ear.
Maybe it was all a nightmare
brought on by wishful thinking. But no,
because the arms were strong around her.
She covered her stomach with her hand, and another hand covered
hers.
“You know?”
It was a stupid comment but
everything came crashing into focus when his hand was protective into its
gesture. She stared up into his face,
searching for truths she’d been hoping to see for so long.
“Yes, I know,” Will
whispered. “Are you all right?”
“Maybe we should call an
ambulance?”
“Did I wake you?” Buffy asked, still lost in the inane question
land.
“Just a bit,”
Jenny was the next to join
them on the stairs. “Maybe we should
call your doctor?”
“No, no, I’m fine,” Buffy
insisted. She took a second to listen to
her body. There wasn’t any pain, or
discomfort except for on her bottom and where she wrenched her arm. There wasn’t even a quiver from her womb
now. “Really,” she said when disbelieving eyes
looked back at her. “Look, why don’t I
lie on the couch for a while and see if anything changes? I promise one twinge of anything
uncomfortable and I’ll call the damn ambulance myself.”
“No, I want you checked out,”
Will said. He squeezed his eyes
shut. “I couldn’t take it if…”
“I’m fine.” Buffy cupped his cheek. He rubbed against her palm like a kitten
seeking comfort from its mother. She let
her thumb trail across his lips before leaning closer to him until their
foreheads touched. “I’m not going anywhere
and neither is our baby.”
“You promise?”
“I already promised…remember
when I said I do?”
“You were so beautiful…my
shining light.”
Tears fell as she gave her
heart to this man again. Despite
everything that had happened she knew Will was her future. He just needed to believe it, too.
“I want you in that light
with me,” Buffy whispered. “It’s cold
without you and I need you.”
Will pulled her closer to
him, burying his face against her neck.
“Wherever you are, I will be. Til’
the end of time.”
The hard times weren’t over
yet. Buffy wasn’t naïve enough to
believe in happy endings anymore, but Will was there in her arms, wanting her
and the baby, and that was enough for a new start. She looked around at the people on the stairs
with them and knew they would help her and Will to start on that new path. Just like she and Will would for them. No longer was she the scared girl who once
ran away from her problems, but a woman with family strong enough to weather
any storm.
She’d found her sanctuary.
~~~ The End (Well, except for the Epilogue) ~~~
