Chapter 19
It was only one in
the afternoon, but Kate was already so bored she could pull her fingernails out
one by one. Instead, she picked at her
cuticles while sitting across from Lorne at the kitchen table. No matter how much she sighed, he continued
to read something out of a spiral notebook.
Giving up on him
starting a conversation, she asked, "Isn't that Cassie's?" Kate nodded toward the book in his hands.
"Yeah, that
crazy kid of ours has been writing poetry." Lorne looked up at Kate. "Very good, but it's pretty dismal
reading."
"As
bad as her nightmares?"
Lorne nodded. "Listen to this…,"
'I sit alone at my
window sill,
Trees crackle,
Sunshine blares and
children
laugh like death.
Their sharp happiness is a
knife to me –
One jealous snake on a
window sill – They will be here,
trees and sun,
and children with canes
and pruney
skin – when I am but a memory'*…"
"It sounds
like she's really scared," Kate said, taking a sip of her hot tea. "But we already know that from the nightmares
that are coming every night now. She's
so sure that Spike and Buffy are going to die."
"I just wish
we could get some news, any news," Lorne said, sighing. "The not knowing is driving me crazy,
too." He drummed his fingers on the
tabletop. "I understand the Captain
not sharing. Really,
it's the only thing he can do. But man, just some kind of clue would be nice. I am ready to blow this popsicle
stand and get back to living."
"Hey, I love
you, too, Lorne," Kate said, with a laugh.
"But if I didn't see you for the next month, I wouldn't miss
you."
"Ha-ha,
cupcake."
It was hard on all
of them, but Kate knew Lorne felt responsible for Spike. They'd been partners for a while now, and that
kind of bond was tighter than most relationships. Sometimes even closer than
some marriages. If something
happened to Spike, and Lorne wasn't there to back him up, it would tear Lorne
apart. Kate could understand that. She reached across the table to cover Lorne's
hand with her own.
"We've got to
keep believing," she said. "We
can't give them up for dead. I
won't." She shook her head. "It's going to be all right."
"I wish I
could believe that," Lorne said.
"You have to,
Lorne," Kate pleaded. "If we
give up on them, then aren't they already dead?"
The look of
dejection on Lorne's face tore Kate in two.
They were powerless to do anything to help their friends. Although, they both understood and accepted
that an innocent needed their protection, sitting around wasn't something they were used to in their jobs.
They were detectives. Being on
the outside to hunt down the bad guys was what they
did.
Yet, Kate had to
believe that things would work out. That
soon the case would end. That soon they
would be home, celebrating Buffy and Spike's rekindled romance. Despite Cassie's nightmares, Lorne's
frustrations and her own strangling fear, she would keep the tiny flame of hope
in her heart burning.
"You're
right," Lorne said, squeezing her hand and bringing her back to the
present. "We're not giving up on
them. It's Spike and
Buffy, the super couple, nothing can bring them down. Right?"
Kate could only nod
her agreement.
~~~~~
As far as motel
rooms went, it wasn't too bad. At least
it was clean, Buffy noted as she looked around.
There weren't any nasty odors to the place. Not like the last hotel, they stayed in or
even the warehouse. Plus,
there was the added bonus that being in a motel there wasn't any chance of
being trapped within the confines of the hallway. Sighing, she sat on one of the beds. She pulled the food bags toward her and
started passing out the sandwiches and fries.
"You know if I
get the job," Gunn said, unwrapping his
burger. "I can get more information
for you."
"Buffy, I'm
going to make that telephone call," Spike said, ignoring Gunn's
remark. He grabbed a few of Buffy's
fries, stuffing them into his mouth as he made for the bathroom.
"What's with
him?"
"Gunn, he
wants you to go back to
"Why?"
The hurt was as
evident on Gunn's face as it was in his one word question. Buffy knew he was going to feel this way, but
an earlier talk with Spike convinced her that it was for the best. Now, she just needed to convince her friend.
"We…I really
appreciate everything you've done. Spike
does, too. It's just that things are
going to get dangerous, and we don't want you to get hurt."
"I can handle
myself."
Buffy put her food
on the nightstand before reaching out to cover Gunn's hand with her own. His wrapped around hers, familiar, the way they used to hold hands when they dated. Sometimes, she still wished things could have
been different, but it couldn't.
"I know you
can," Buffy said. "It's just
that Spike doesn't want to be responsible for another civilian. He's really grateful for everything you've
done, but it's going to…"
"Get
dangerous. Heard you
the first time." Gunn
sighed. "What about you?"
"I'm fine. Spike and I know each other enough to be able
to do things without talking."
"That's a
laugh. Communication is the biggest
problem between you two. Does he just
want to get rid of me so he can be alone with you?"
"No, that's
not it at all," Buffy insisted. It might not have crossed Spike's mind, but
it had crossed hers. The case was going
to move fast now that they knew about Masters.
When all of this was over, she knew Spike would go back to Fred. This small space of time was hers, and she
wanted to be with Spike as much as she could.
"Oh,
for you, huh?"
She looked away,
embarrassed that her feelings were so open.
"It's safer for you. That's
the most important thing. I couldn't
take it if something happened to you."
Spike chose this
moment to walk back into the room. There
was a flicker of jealousy on his face at seeing them
holding hands. "The Captain is on
his way. He'll beep me when he gets
here."
"Captain
Robertson?" Buffy asked, in surprise. "Why is he coming?"
"The fewer
people who know where we are, the better off we are," Spike said, with a
shrug. "Gunn, he'll take you to the
airport and make sure you get on a plane to
"You trust
this dude?"
"With my
life," Spike said. "I know you
care about Buffy, and without your help we would have stumbling around quite a
bit until we found out anything about Masters."
"Yeah, I know,
it's going to get dangerous," Gunn said, with a
shake of his head. "What am I
supposed to tell Lilah if she calls?"
"Tell her that
things changed. That your mother
convinced you to go back to college instead of wasting your life working on the
docks."
"Still think I
should stick around. I could get you a
lot of information if I was working on the docks."
"Yeah, and you
could get killed. Let me ask you a
question," Spike sat on the bed beside Buffy. "Is police work
what you want to do with your life?
Getting shot at, digging around in people's garbage of lives, doing
endless hours of paperwork all for really shitty pay?"
"No man,"
Gunn laughed. "Okay, I get your
point. It was an experience, but hanging
out with the gang did remind why I left."
"Go back to
your life," Buffy said. "Live
it to the fullest."
"Is this what
you want?" Gunn asked. "Are you going to switch to become a
cop?"
"I don't
know." She could feel Spike staring
at her, but refused to look at him.
"Right now is all I can deal with.
Luke knows who we are, so I have to see this through. To make sure that Cassie is
all right, and to stop Luke from hurting anyone again. When it's over, then I guess I'll figure out
what is next in my life."
Spike's phone
beeped. "Guess Captain is here." He stood, drawing his gun. "Stay here. Let me check things out first."
Not waiting, Buffy
stood, pulling out Spike's extra gun that had been in her bag. She made sure it was ready for use. Gunn was shaking his head at her. Before this all started, she only handled a
gun at a shooting range, but she was beginning to feel naked without it beside
her. Maybe she was changing because she
knew if Luke were trying to kill her or someone close to her, she wouldn't
hesitate to pull the trigger. Not anymore.
"Okay, it's
clear," Spike said, gesturing for Gunn.
"Come with me,
Buffy," Gunn said, taking her hand.
"You can have that life you want in
"No,"
Buffy said, shaking her head. She glanced
at Spike whose face was expressionless.
His eyes weren't though. They
showed the jealousy he was feeling. "I
tried. That life was for the Buffy I
used to be before I was kidnapped. It's not for who I am now."
"You're
letting the bastard who hurt you take everything away from you."
"He's
not. Not anymore. I've changed," Ignoring Spike for the
moment, she stepped forward to kiss Charles on the cheek. "I like who I am. I've seen hell. I know what the dark side is, and I never
have to worry about being disillusioned again." She
turned to meet Spike's eyes before she continued. "It makes life more real, and the
happiness more precious."
"I guess I
understand," Charles said, pulling her into a hug. He kissed her quickly. "Take care of yourself," and with
an almost reluctant gesture of his head to include Spike, he added, "And
him. Someone has, too."
Buffy smiled while
Spike laughed. Spike was saying
anything, but Buffy knew that later, when they were alone, they would
talk. There was too much electricity
dancing between them for her conversation with Charles to be
ignored. Right now, though, it
was more important to get Charles to safety.
"Let's
go," Spike prompted. He opened the
room door again, and stood in the entrance with his gun drawn.
Then with a nod, Charles
was gone, following Spike out the door of the room. Buffy edged to the door, staying in the
shadows with her gun drawn. She stood
poised until she heard a car door shut. Then
held her breath until Spike returned to the room. They stared at each other, holding their
guns, both ready to fight as the door shut behind Spike.
In that moment,
Buffy knew they were two of a kind. As
different as they were, they were both cut from the
same mold. Love had nothing and everything
to do with the binds between them. They
had both stood in the same hell and survived.
That hell was the understanding and the strength and weakness between. Now, if only Spike would realize that same
truth.
~~~~~
Fred giggled as
Wesley covered her eyes with his hands.
He'd promised her a surprise if she would only obey him. First, by waiting in the
bedroom and then by letting him blind her as he led her out of the room.
"Trust
me," he whispered as they started walking.
"Do I have a
choice?"
"Not
really. Three more steps."
They stopped in
what she assumed to be the dining area of the suite. Her mouth started to water and her stomach
rumbled at the spicy aroma of Mexican food filling the air. It smelled like a feast. She couldn't wait for Wesley to turn her
loose. It seemed ages since lunch.
"You
ready?"
"Yes, I'm
starved."
"Well then,
you should be happy."
She could hear the
smile in Wesley's voice as he took his hands from her face. She blinked, trying to focus at the table in
front of her. There was a platter of tacos;
bowl of beans and chips and salsa, but the biggest surprise was the small
birthday cake with two burning candles.
"I can't
believe it. How did you know?"
"Your
file," Wesley said pragmatically.
"Make a wish and blow out the candles before we are eating
wax."
A day before Fred
would have wished to be able to return to her life and her fiancée Spike, but
this surprise from someone who was being paid to guard
her was more touching than anything she'd experienced in a long time. She doubted Spike even remembered it was her
birthday. After all, last year he hadn't
even attended the party thrown by her co-workers.
"Are you all
right?" Wesley placed his hand on
her lower back, looking down into her eyes.
"Yes, I'm
sorry," Fred said, leaning down to blow out the
flickering candles. "This is really
wonderful. Thank you."
"I think
you're worth it," Wesley said.
"Come sit. I've been slaving
over a hot stove for hours."
Wesley even held a
chair out for her. He was such a gentleman. Why
couldn't he have come into her life before?
She sighed. Nothing was
permanent. It wasn't as if she even had
a wedding date set. And
after this adventure was over, she had a feeling that Spike would be ready to
discard her like yesterday's news.
"How did you
mange this?" Fred reached for a
taco, putting it on her plate.
"A few phone
calls," Wesley said. "And calling in a few favors from some buddies at the
station."
"Is that
safe? I thought no one was supposed to
know where we were."
"We're
safe." Wesley covered her
hand. "I know this has been hard on
you so I just added a few items to the list for the grocery run. That's all.
Just wanted you to think that I went to a lot of
trouble for you."
"Just that you
thought of me means a lot."
This time is
Wesley's turn to sigh. "Fred,
you're a very special woman. I think
your fiancé is not only blind but stupid for not making sure that you know
that."
Fred could feel a
blush staining her cheeks. Wesley was
saying all the right things. Doing all
the right things, but could she trust him?
Trust anything that came out of the forced environment they were
surviving in. This wasn't real life, but
she wanted to believe in this fairy tale.
Maybe it wouldn't hurt to enjoy this time. Maybe when it was over, it wouldn't have to
end. She took a bite of her taco. At least her enjoyment of the food wouldn't
have to be questioned.
to be continued…
*Thanks
to my_perfect_muse for having the words to Cassie's
poem and to the writer's of Buffy the Vampire Slayer for writing the poem that fit so well into my fic.
