Chapter 17 – Friends and Lovers
It didn’t
matter that they were the only couple on the dance floor that was slow dancing.
Nothing mattered but Spike’s arms around her. Buffy was lost in the sensuality
of their movements. Hips swaying in time to the beat gave them an excuse to press
against one another. His breath was warm as it floated along her neck but the
heat turned to chills that skittered along her spine. Buffy knew if she tilted
her head just a fraction their lips would meet. Anticipation prevented them
from consummating the kiss but instead kept them dangling on the edge of their
desire.
His hands were
making her face flush with passion.
They ran,
oh so leisurely, up her hips, splaying across her lower back and sending her
feminine senses reeling as they promised future domination over her body. Then
they would drift down to her bottom, hands spreading over the curve to pull
their bodies so close she couldn’t help but feel every inch of him imprinted on
her belly before they would start their journey again.
But his
whispered words were making her throb in need.
“Do you
know what you do to me, Pet? No one else has ever made me want them so much.”
Spike kissed the pulse point on her throat. “You’re so beautiful. I keep
picturing you last night with only panties on. Do you know I’m jealous of them?”
His tongue darted out to lick the spot just below her ear. “They’re wrapped
around what I want to make love to so bad. Do you want me, Buffy?”
“Uh huh,”
Buffy whispered, letting her fingers caress the nape of his neck.
“Tell me,”
Spike urged, the back of his fingers drifted upward along the trail of her
zipper. One finger plunged into the front of her pants, stroking the soft flesh
of her stomach. “What would you do if I
slipped my hand in to touch you?” His breath teased as he whispered into her
ear. The button was slipped from its holding by his hands. She wanted those
very hands to show her everything he claimed he could do to her. “Would you let me satisfy you here in front of
all these people?”
Buffy
swallowed and rose up on her tiptoes to nip at his earlobe. “If you keep
talking like that you won’t even have to touch me,” she paused for a second,
“to satisfy me.” She leaned her head back to look up into his astonished eyes.
It was thrilling to watch his expressions as they changed with their escalating
awareness of the other. She slipped her leg to the outside of his, allowing her
to press herself close against his thigh.
“Oh God,
Luv,” Spike groaned. “You are going to get us both into trouble.” His words
might have been saying they needed to stop but his body told another story as
his leg rubbed at the juncture of her thighs.
It was so near.
Buffy tucked her face against his chest as her body started to tremble. His
hands pulled her into a protective embrace as she started to ride his leg.
Another moment more, her hands, in desperation for an anchor, clutched at his
shirt…
“Hey guys,”
Xander said, stopping to dance next to them. “What’s with the unsociable ‘tude?”
I’m going to kill him. Damn it, Buffy thought as she sagged
against Spike who didn’t miss a beat. She found herself being turned around
with his arms wrapped around her. If she was this frustrated over something
she’d never had then she knew it had to be killing him. She swore that somehow
that night they’d find a way to relieve a little of their tension.
“Sorry, you
two,” Anya gaily said. “He’s dumber than a box of rocks about other people.
That’s why I find it amazing that he’s such an animal in his own sex life.”
“What did I
do?” Xander asked, flailing about in his unique style.
“They were
trying to give Buffy an orgasm and you interrupted,” Anya said.
Spike was apparently
mortified as he stiffened behind her. Buffy only laughed at her friends. It was
the only way to be around Xander’s girlfriend who was never embarrassed to
speak her mind about sex. They’d all been on the receiving end of it at one
time or another. From what she’d heard about the couple’s sex life there wasn’t
too many places that they hadn’t given each other happies. The rule was, if
they were around, don’t open closed doors without knocking and don’t go into
dark places. Otherwise you might find them in the throes of their lust for each
other.
“Oh God,
I’m sorry,” Xander said. But his grin said otherwise as he looked them over.
“No, really I am. Buffy needs to get a little looser about these things. I mean
the highlight of your orgasm days had to be in old man Snyder’s garden.”
“Who’s
having orgasms?”
“I’m going
to go and get a beer,” Spike whispered. “I’ll catch up with you in a minute.”
Buffy
looked up at him and could almost see the walls being formed again. She had two
things to kill Xander for now. “Spike, are you okay?” Her hand wrapped around
his to keep him from leaving without responding to her.
“I’m fine,”
Spike said. He sighed. “Was it someone I don’t know about?”
“It was
Angel,” Buffy said. “And it was a joke because nothing happened, well, kind of
started to but Snyder caught us and turned the hose on us.”
“He what?”
Spike’s
lips twitched as he waited for the rest of the story.
“Angel and
I were trying to be alone. There was a barbecue at his house and we slipped
into the bushes to make out and Snyder heard noisy us. The next thing we knew
we were drenched, being cussed at and then he had to go and yell about it to
our parents.” Buffy said, giggling at the memory. “We both got grounded. Not
that it ever stopped us but…”
“You really
are a bad girl, aren’t you?” Spike asked, laughing.
Buffy put
on her most innocent expression and batted her eyes. “Who me? Be bad? I would
certainly think not, kind sir. I am the epitome of southern innocence; southern
“And that leaves a huge margin for what you consider
innocent,”
They all
laughed. Spike wrapped his arm around her shoulders and Buffy knew he was all
right again. She wished he would just relax about her past. He knew she was a virgin. What did he
expect for her to have been created out of nothing just for him, with no past
at all? To her that would be completely boring but then again for Spike to
never have met Cecily or Drusilla would make her own life and future a whole
lot easier.
“I’m still
going to go and get a beer,” Spike said. “Do you want anything?”
“No, I’m
going to go to the little girl’s room,” Buffy said, kissing his cheek. “Catch
up with you in a minute.”
It took her
longer than she expected because it seemed every girl in the Bronze decided to
head to the bathroom at the same time. By the time she’d fluffed her hair,
Buffy was feeling annoyed by the crowd. She stepped out of the bathroom and
hesitated as she looked around to find him. Xander,
Spike and
Angel were sitting on one of the couches against the wall. Relieved at finding
him she hurried over to join them. Spike opened his arm for her as she sat
between them. A drink was pressed into her hand and she sniffed at it
cautiously.
“Do you
think we’re going to drug you or something?” Angel asked, yanking on a lock of
her hair.
Buffy
shrugged and took a sip. It wasn’t bad she decided as the sweet, fruity
concoction slid down her throat. The two men returned to their conversation but
she tuned them out when she realized they were talking about the Darla and their jobs. It wasn’t that she
wasn’t interested but she figured they didn’t want to take the time to explain
every comment to her so she let her attention wander. Her eyes slid around the
packed club, watching people, looking for people she knew. On the second sweep
across the bar she spotted trouble. It would be a definite crimp in her plans.
“Spike,”
Buffy said, looking up at him.
“What’s up,
Pet?”
“Go ask
Faith to dance.”
“Excuse
me?” Spike asked. His left eyebrow rose in surprise.
“Look,”
Buffy said, pointing toward the bar area where Faith was apparently holding
court. Two men were on either side of her vying for her attention. “Wesley is
going to be here soon and if she’s flirting with someone else it’s going to ruin
everything. Go and ask her to dance.” Spike still hesitated and Buffy pushed at
his shoulder. “Go, pleeease, for me. I can’t ask Angel to do it. He’s her
brother and that would be just eew.”
“You’re not
going to go all jealous on me later?” Spike asked, scooting to the edge of the
couch.
Buffy
cupped his face. “Go where the other guys are and no slow dancing.”
“Knew there
had to be stipulations to this,” Spike responded with a smile. He gave her a
quick kiss and headed off.
Satisfied
that her matchmaking plans for later were now saved, Buffy sat back with a
grin.
“You trust
him?” Angel asked, assuming Spike’s earlier position by turning toward her and
putting his arm across the back of the couch.
“I’ll kill
him if he does anything,” Buffy replied, watching as Faith accepted Spike’s
invitation. “And yeah I do.” She sighed. “Besides I’m right here watching.”
Tearing her eyes away from the couples on the floor, she glanced up at Angel.
“Where’s Cordelia?”
“She had to
close the shop tonight. She’ll be here after she’s done.” Angel said, turning
to watch the others on the floor. “How did your talk go with your father this
afternoon?”
“It was
okay. He’s still not happy that I’m with Spike,” Buffy said, slipping closer to
her friend. She laughed softly. “For some reason he’s like mom and thinks that
you and I should have stuck it out. That we could have made it work.”
“Maybe we
could have,” Angel said, surprising her with his melancholy tone. “If I hadn’t
run off to sea so quickly.”
“For one
thing, you didn’t run off to sea,” Buffy said, shifting so her legs that were
tucked under her were now resting on his. “You’ve wanted to be on a ship as far
back as I can remember. You left to pursue your dream. Maybe it was sooner than
you had planned but what were you supposed to do? Stay here and make sure we
were all grown up before you left? I’m happy that you have what you want.”
“Are you
Buffy? Are you happy?”
His thumb
brushed against the palm of her hand. It was safe here with him, Buffy reminded
herself. It always had been. If she needed reassurance or protection it could
be found when Angel was holding her. And for awhile she’d even found affection
and something close to love but those feelings were small when compared to what
she felt in Spike’s embrace.
“I’m
getting there, Angel.” Buffy smiled up at him. “I feel like things are falling
into place. He makes me feel like I can be more than I ever thought I could. He
has a strength that he doesn’t even know he has and he gives it to me.”
“Is he the
only thing making you happy?”
Buffy shook
her head. “No, I’m finally excited about going back to school. I hid for so
long behind everything and now I’m living again. It feels good.”
“And us?”
His words
were so quiet that Buffy almost missed it. She contemplated his words knowing
what he meant. Because like everyone else, even they had always thought there
was a chance for them somewhere in the future. A back up in case their lives
didn’t go right. They would be there to catch the other one. The love between
them was as deep as two friends could be and they would be good to one another.
“I’m always
going to love you,” Buffy said. “You’re my best friend, but what we once had is
over. You were my hero. Always there to help chase my monsters away, but we
grew up.” Her hand covered his and they entwined like they always did. “Maybe
you’re right. If you hadn’t left after graduation we might be married. Maybe
even have a baby, but you didn’t stay. You left for your own future and it’s
taken me awhile to find the right road to follow, but I think I’m on my way.”
Tears filled her eyes as she swallowed away the last regrets she had over the
man holding her. “I think it’s for the best this way. Don’t you?”
“Yeah,”
Angel said, cupping her face. “I’m glad that you’re finding everything you
want. Just don’t forget me, okay?”
“Hell no,”
Buffy laughed. “You’re going to be my maid of honor when I do get married.”
“I don’t
think so,” Angel said, laughing with her. “Already told you that I’m not
wearing a dress for you.”
Their eyes
met as their old feelings washed over them in a tidal wave of nostalgia before
Angel kissed her. Buffy knew it was meant to be; a moment in their laughter to
cherish what they once had. For awhile in their lives there had been more than
friendship between them and briefly they felt it again. It took them back to
old times spent in that very club when they thought maybe in spite of
everything they’d be together forever. Their lips remembered the way and Buffy
let herself lean closer against the body that was as familiar as her own. The
kiss was warm and gentle bringing thoughts of hot chocolate on a cold winter
night but it did nothing to stoke any ardor in her. She knew he felt it too.
Neither opened their mouths, there was no need because whatever used to be was
gone. This was their goodbye to an old dream that had no place in their future.
They broke
apart and Buffy searched to find the words to express her sadness. She felt
Angel stiffen and looked up to find Spike staring at her with cold fury burning
in his eyes.
