Chapter 29 – Expectations
Her tongue was slowly
licking the taste of maple syrup from his teeth and tongue while her soft,
throaty groans filled his mouth. Buffy was pushing him back against the
counter; letting her body mold to his so she could have her way with him. Not
that Spike was objecting or trying to get her to stop. Actually he was helping
to close the gap between them. His hands were cupping her ass, lifting her
until she was on her toes and positioned just right against his burgeoning
erection.
It was the perfect way to
start a morning after an almost perfect night. Spike had been surprised that
once Buffy had lost her expectations she had become a very curious lover. She
wanted to know what everything felt like and which positions they could try.
Their night had been filled with laughter, failed experiments and sweet loving
orgasms after they finally found their way.
Spike pushed back on her
shoulders, breaking the kiss, just because he needed to breath. She didn’t go
far, leaning her forehead against his cheek. Her breath was hot as she softly
panted in her own need for oxygen. Wrapping his arms tighter around her, Spike was
once again awestruck that she was now his in every way possible. A sense of
satisfaction filled him as he acknowledged that it was a role that she seemed
to be comfortable in since she had been teasing him all morning.
“Pet, don’t you think we
should clean up?” Spike asked, hoping she would tell him to forget about it
until later.
“We should clean,” Buffy
whispered, kneading his hips like a satisfied kitten. “We’re beginning to look
like slobs.”
Spike looked over her head
at the kitchen. He sighed. She was right. The dishes and pans from their
“Okay, we clean then.”
Buffy giggled and hooked her
leg around his to keep him from moving.
“I said we should not that I
wanted to.”
It was all he needed to
hear. There would be time later for chores, but now it was time for them. Not
willing to deny her or him what they both wanted so much, Spike bent over and
put her over his shoulder before heading back to the bedroom. Buffy giggled and
beat at his ass like it was a drum set as he strode down the hallway.
“Hurry up,” Buffy said, her
feet swinging.
“I knew it,” Spike teased,
dropping her on the bed. “You just want me for sex.”
“About time you figured it
out,” Buffy teased back as she opened her arms to welcome him to her.
Their laughter disappeared
in the rush of need they felt when he stretched out next to her. Their eyes
connected in an acceptance of the gift they had been given. His hands were sure
as he slowly untied the belt to her pink terrycloth robe. He swallowed as he
pushed the material away from the softness of her body. Buffy watched him as he
gazed upon the beauty of her body. This was all it took to take him from
semi-aroused to total hardness; the sight of her, unashamed, lying open for
him.
He suspected that part of
her aggressiveness of the morning was an effort to please him, to show him that
she did want him despite the tears of the night before. Knowing she was willing
to make herself vulnerable for him reached a place deep in his soul that until
then had been untouched. His fingers traced the planes of her face with
reverent strokes. This time when he made love to her, he wanted it to all be
for her, to give her something she hadn’t had before.
“Let me make love to you,” Spike
asked, bending to kiss the corner of her mouth. “Let me please you.”
“You do,” Buffy answered
looking bewildered by his plea. “Did I do or say something wrong?”
“No, Luv, you’re doing
everything right.”
Spike kissed his way along
her jaw to her ear and sucked at the lobe until she stirred beneath him. Her
fingers threaded into his hair holding him close to her as he worked his way
down her neck. She lay there, holding him, letting him have control and it only
added to his fire. No one had ever made him feel like a man the way Buffy did.
And he wanted to make her feel like the woman she was.
His hand lay on the curve of
her hip so he could feel every vibration she made. Every kiss he placed on the
satin smoothness of her flesh made her body hum to a rhythm that he wanted to
dance to. He wanted to absorb her every reaction, every shudder, every sigh, so
that he could remember them in all those lonely nights without her. He paid
homage to the pink tip of each breast before resuming his path down her body.
His plan was to make it all the way down to the sweetness that lay between her
legs.
Spike had just reached her
belly button when the doorbell rang. They both froze in disbelief and
frustration.
“Whoever it is will go
away,” Buffy whispered. “I hope.”
They waited. The doorbell
rang again, then when they still didn’t answer whoever it was leaned on the
bell.
“Bloody hell,” Spike
muttered, crawling off of Buffy. “I’ll go get rid of whoever it is.”
“Spike, you might want to
wear a shirt.”
A quick glance down revealed
the telling bulge in the front of his jeans. He grabbed a shirt and pulled it
over his head on the way to the front door. Hopefully, it was someone that
could be dismissed quickly and he could get back to Buffy before the mood was
shattered. He opened the door and sighed when he saw Faith and Wesley. He
wasn’t going to get back to Buffy anytime soon.
“Hey, dude,” Faith said,
smiling as she pranced pass him into the hallway. “We need to talk to you and
Buffy.”
“Hello, Spike,” Wesley said
as he sheepishly followed Faith into the house. “I’m sorry if we’re
interrupting something.”
“Of course we’re
interrupting them,” Faith said, tapping a tune on Spike’s chest with her open
hands. “They got their house and a clean bill of health. So, I’m guessing you
got the pie after all.”
Faith grinned up at him but
there was no malice in her joking just honest affection. Spike grinned back at
her but refused to verify Faith’s suspicions. She shrugged at his lack of
cooperation and headed toward the hallway. She stopped at the corner.
“Hey, B, get some clothes on
your skinny ass and come out here,” Faith hollered. “We’re not leaving until
we’ve talked to you both.”
“Faith, maybe we should just
leave them alone…” Wesley started but was silenced by one arched brow from his
girlfriend. “Or maybe not.”
“Whipped much,” Spike
observed, smiling at his friend.
“Hmm, the rewards are worth
it though,” Wesley commented, pulling Faith into his arms.
“I agree there,” Spike said
looking up as Buffy wandered out to join them.
“Hey, guys,” Buffy said,
smiling amiably at their guests but she stayed several feet away from Spike.
Spike eyed her curiously.
She was dressed in jeans and a long sleeve sweater. A belt was even fastened
around her waist. Buffy looked at him for a moment but quickly turned away.
She’s embarrassed that they know…
“Let’s go in the living
room,” Spike said, deciding he should be protective of Buffy’s feelings. “We
can talk in there.”
Spike led the way into the
living with the others following. Faith and Wesley settled on the couch while
Buffy sat in the large side chair. Spike sat on the arm of the chair with his
arm around the back. It was either there or telling the other couple to scoot
over so Spike took his chance with Buffy. He was thankful that it didn’t seem
to bother her and he relaxed even more when she leaned into his side.
Maybe I was imagining it…
“We’d like for the two of
you to go to dinner with us tonight,” Wesley asked, looking from Spike to
Buffy, “And that ‘us’ includes, Faith’s parents and Angel.”
“Yeah,” Faith said, leaning
forward. “We figured you owe us with the whole stealing our thunder last
night.”
“Us? Steal your thunder?”
Buffy said, smiling. “Like you weren’t grateful for an excuse to put it off for
a night and not have to deal with the consequences yet.”
“No, it was you,” Faith
replied. “All deciding to live together and giving everyone something to talk
about this morning. I mean everybody is asking, ‘Did they do it yet? Or is the
poor man still waiting?’”
“No comment,” Spike quipped,
hoping to relieve Buffy of any further discomfort. “I take it you want us to go
along for moral support.”
“The hell with that,” Faith
said. “We need protection.”
“It’s Angel,” Wesley said.
“He knows that we, well, were together but he doesn’t know about the baby yet.”
Spike had caught Buffy and
Faith talking in hushed tones the night before at the party. They had quickly
filled him in on the news but had requested that he remain quiet until everyone
who should know first knew. It was a simple enough thing to do for his friends
and he had agreed.
“Do you really think he’s
going to be pissed?” Spike asked. “What about your father?”
Faith rolled her eyes and
settled closer to Wes. “My father is going to be so relieved at the engagement
part that anything coming after that will be anti-climatic. I’ll be a proper
woman and won’t embarrass him anymore by being the talk of the town.” She
plucked at Wes’s hand, running her finger along his before looking back.
“Angel’s always been like Mr. Protective. Always thinking everything is his
fault. I may be off but I don’t think he’s going to be pissed as much as
feeling like he failed me somehow.”
“Yeah,” Buffy said. “I agree
with you. He shouldn’t though because you’re happy now but yeah, I think he’s
going to take it hard.”
“We’ll be there then,” Spike
said. “See what we can do to make things go a little easier on everyone.”
The next few minutes were
spent making arrangements to meet that night at a local upscale restaurant.
Soon after that Wes and Faith left, saying they wanted to give Spike and Buffy
the privacy to resume what they had been doing before being interrupted.
“We’re alone again,” Spike
said, wrapping his arms around Buffy’s waist. He walked them backwards toward
the couch. “I think we should take their advice and continue.” He placed his
knee on the couch so he could lay Buffy down without letting go of her.
“Spike, it’s getting late
and we’ve got things we need to do.”
“Please, Buffy,” Spike said,
licking her neck while his hand went to the buckle of her belt. “I’ve been
trying all morning to be with you.”
“Is this the way it’s going
to be?” Buffy asked, even though her hands were running along his back. “You
wanting to have sex all the time?”
“I don’t exactly want sex
right now,” Spike said, cupping her bottom. He nipped her ear. “I want to go
down on you.”
“Isn’t that romantic.”
“It’s better than saying I
want to eat you out.”
“Eew, off,” Buffy said,
pushing at his shoulders.
“What do you want me to
say?” Spike asked, rising up on one hand but not getting off of her. “Buffy,
may I perform cunnilingus on you?”
Buffy blinked her eyes at
him like she was trying to keep tears at bay. It made him feel like a heel
which really only made him defensive.
“What did I do now?” Spike
asked, but his fingers were gentle as he brushed a strand of stray hair off her
face.
“I don’t know,” Buffy said.
“Last night and earlier, you were funny and romantic and sweet. Now, it’s like
you only care about getting laid. And you didn’t even care that they knew that
we’ve done it.”
“I don’t really,” Spike
said, and then shrugged. “If they know, they know.
“Maybe we should send out
announcements,” Buffy said. “William
Nagle has taken Buffy Anne Summers’ virginity.”
“Too formal,” Spike teased.
“How about Spike bagged the girl and added a new notch to his bedpost?”
“How Neanderthal,” Buffy
said, pushing at him again. “Is that how you feel? Was I just another
conquest?”
Sighing, he let her push him
up into a sitting position. For a moment he leaned his head back on the couch.
It seemed like a fight was brewing whether he wanted one or not. It was a surprise
when Buffy straddled him, crossed her arms and stared at him. Unsure of what
was going on with her, he decided to take his chances and rested his hands on
her hips. She didn’t object but then again she didn’t say anything either. She
was waiting for an answer to a question he knew he had already answered.
“It was a joke,” Spike
explained. “Do I really need to answer that?”
“No, you don’t,” Buffy said,
shaking her head. “I’m just…I don’t know…overly sensitive to jokes about the
whole thing right now.”
Maybe there wasn’t going to
be a fight after all, Spike was relieved to note. Plus she had given him an
opening to ask the question that had been on his mind since she had walked out
of the bedroom.
“Are you really embarrassed
or ashamed for people to know that we’re lovers now?”
“No, it’s not that,” Buffy
said, shrugging. “I don’t know it’s just a little uncomfortable right now. I’m still
getting used to it myself without having to deal with the whole world knowing
and commenting. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah,” Spike said. “I guess
after awhile you just accept that everyone knows that you’ve had sex just like
you know they have sex. It’s kind of like going to the bathroom, you do it, you
just don’t talk about it to everyone.”
Buffy nodded. “Was it
awkward for you after the first time?”
“It was more than awkward,”
Spike said, lacing his hands behind his head. It was taking everything he had
to stay where he was and have this conversation. The only thing keeping him
there was knowing that Buffy needed this.
“She went back to her boyfriend and told everyone I was a lousy lay. It
took me awhile to even want to try again.”
“So, Cecily was your first
and that was back in high school,” Buffy said, her arms finally relaxing. She
rested her hands on his chest as she leaned a little closer to him. “And I know about Drusilla and Harmony but how
many others have you been with?”
“Others?” Spike laughed.
“Only women, only women.” He grew quiet for a moment as he contemplated the
woman on his lap. “Are you sure you want to talk about this?”
Buffy nodded.
“There hasn’t been a lot,”
Spike said honestly. He had been too
bruised after Cecily to want to try again and after Drusilla, he had only
sought out companionship when his loneliness was too great or his needs were
too strong. “Less than…ten.”
Buffy’s brows shot up and
her mouth turned down. “And how many is that?”
Spike sighed. “I haven’t
been in a relationship in three years so every once in awhile, I’d pick someone
up. No commitment, just someone to be with, to…”
“Get laid,” Buffy finished.
“Not always that, pet,
sometimes even men need someone to hold and talk to.”
“I can understand that.
There have been times when I would just ache to have someone be there for me.
Someone to talk to…”
“Someone to make love to
you?”
“Yeah,” Buffy said.
“Sometimes I wondered what I was waiting for. That maybe I should just accept
some of the offers from the guys at the bar.”
“I’m glad you didn’t,” Spike
said, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. “It would have changed you
into someone that you don’t want to be. And I like you the way you are.”
“Is it really different
having sex with strangers?” Buffy asked, looking uncomfortable. “I mean does it
feel differently?”
“Yeah, it does Buffy,” Spike
said. “If I didn’t know it before, I do now. I told you last night that being
with you was the best because you love me. I feel safe enough with you that I
don’t feel like I have to be perfect.”
“You are perfect,” Buffy
whispered, kissing him. “And I still think your exes deserve a beat down for
hurting you.”
“Thank you,” Spike said,
feeling a warm glow infuse him. It was amazing but he just kept falling deeper
in love with this girl.
She turned her eyes down and
plucked at his shirt. Finally she sighed. “Since we’re talking and everything
there’s something I’ve wanted to ask you. Did you ever cheat on Drusilla? Not
that I would blame you but…”
“No, I never…cheated on
her,” Spike said, looking away from her. He squirmed because the conversation
was getting into things he didn’t want to discuss with Buffy. There were things
that he didn’t really want her to know but didn’t want to lie to her either. He
knew he was in trouble when she turned him back to face her. She didn’t ask but
waited as if she knew there was something that he wasn’t telling her. “Look,
pet, there were circumstances that I don’t want to talk about. Things I’m not
particularly proud of.”
“Oh,” Buffy said. She
caressed his cheek with her fingers then she shrugged. “If you don’t want to
talk about it then you don’t have to.”
“Thank you,” Spike said,
letting his finger stroke her hips. “But you’d like me to tell you, wouldn’t
you?”
“I love you. It’s not going
to change by something you did in the past.”
“That’s a lie,” Spike said.
“There are a lot of things that I could tell you that would make you run for
the hills.” He sighed then swallowed as he rationalized whether to tell her or
not. In the end he did. If they were going to make a life together then she
deserved the truth. “You know that things with Drusilla were a little wild. The
partying, drugs, drinking,” he stopped long enough to judge whether Buffy was
freaking or not. Satisfied that she was okay so far he continued. “And you know
that she cheated on me. She liked variety and well, there were a couple of
times that she brought her best friend home with us.”
Buffy looked confused for a
second then her eyes grew wide when she figured out what he meant.
“Did you,” Buffy cleared her
throat before continuing. “Did you enjoy it?”
“Yeah, it felt good at the
time but in the morning it left kind of an empty feeling. I was in love and she
wanted to have fun.”
“So, it’s not something you’d
want to do again?”
Spike looked up at Buffy
trying to determine the motive for her question. Was it something she was
curious about? Did she want to try it sometime? But all he saw was uncertainty
and a trace of fear. He cupped her face and pulled her closer to him.
“Listen to me, Buffy,” Spike
said. “You know how I feel about you and I know that you love me. No, I don’t
want to share you and I won’t share you. It hurts to even think about it. Being
with you is not about sex or getting laid. If that’s all I wanted then I
wouldn’t be here, this deeply involved and committed. Yeah, I like sex. I love
sex with you and sometimes yeah, I may be chasing you because I’m horny but I’m
sure there are times when you’ll do the same. Just don’t forget its part of the
package of being with someone.”
“You think I’m silly, don’t
you?”
“No, baby, I don’t. You have
a right to know what I expect and want from you.” Spike kissed the tip of her
nose then the corner of her mouth. “And I still want to go down on you.”
“Now?”
Spike pulled her closer to
him. “Unless there’s something else that you want to ask me, but personally I’d
rather be communicating some other way.”
“Sounds good to me,” Buffy
giggled as she pulled them so they were lying on the couch again. “Just make
sure that it feels good if you want me to return the favor.”
“Don’t doubt the mouth that
you love so much,” Spike told her reaching for the belt buckle again. Buffy had
whispered to him sometime during the night that his mouth was her favorite part
of his body. He changed her mind after that but she said his mouth was still
second.
“Never, I have full faith in
your abilities.”
Spike kissed her stomach as
he eased her zipper down. He rose to his knees to get her jeans off and just as
he was easing them over her bottom, the doorbell rang again.
“Oh, balls,” Spike said,
glancing at his watch. “It’s Angel. I forgot about him coming over.”
Buffy crawled out from under
him, pulled her jeans up and headed for the hall. She glanced over her shoulder
at him as he got up to follow her.
“Well, gee, I guess I won’t
have to perform fellatio on you anytime soon,” Buffy said. “Since you can’t get
me satisfied…”
His eyes flew open at her
teasing comment. It wasn’t something that he could let go. Spike started after
her but she saw what he was doing, yelped and took off at a run. He caught her
as she was opening the front door and they ended up in a laughing heap at
Angel’s feet.
to be continued…
