* * * * * *
The previous night had been a particularly strange one for the woman. She had had one of those dreams that even she couldn’t understand. But that wasn’t important now. Now it was time to get to work. As she looked over the folder’s contents, she stopped and stared at the young man’s picture. He looked almost scared; like a deer caught in the headlights. ‘What demons haunt you?’ she thought aloud. Before she could delve into the question further, a soft bell rang. As she looked above her door, she saw the small light flash. She opened the door to her office and saw the young man sitting in the corner chair. He didn’t look up at her. In fact, she was fairly certain he wasn’t even aware of her presence. “Mr. James?”
With a startled look on his face he looked up at her. She walked up to him and held out her hand. “I’m Dr. Miller. But you can call me Leila.” He stood up and shook her hand. Her smile comforted him. I can do this. Do or die, Justin. Do or die.
They walked back into her office and she sat down. He continued to stand and look around. He finally settled in the chair across from her. Up until this point he had said nothing.
“How are you doing today, Mr.--”
Before she could finish, Justin spoke up. “Call me Riley.”
She smiled. “Okay, Riley. How are you today?”
He stared around at the things on her wall-- degrees, paintings, knick-knacks. He found them all interesting. He found everything interesting lately. Leila sat back just watching him, waiting for the response she knew would eventually come. His head was covered in dark messy curls. His eyes were a deep blue, filled with some sadness he tried to hide. Dark circles engulfed them as if he hadn’t slept in days. He continued to fidget with a string on his coat, still thinking about the simple question she had asked.
“I’ve been better, but today is not necessarily a bad day.” He almost smiled after this remark, but stopped when he realized the doctor was staring at him. “You’re gonna help me though, right? Make my problems go away.”
“I’m going to help you deal with what’s bothering you. We’ll work through the problems and I’ll help you help yourself to get better.”
He smiled and simply whispered, “Better.”
“Let’s just start out with why you came to see me.”
“I saw your ad in the phonebook.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “No, I mean, what problem are you dealing with that you think you need help for?”
He smiled too. “Oh. Well, I’m just not happy. I don’t sit around and cry all day or anything. I just,” he paused. “I’m just not normal.”
“Okay, so define normal to me.”
He laughed. “You know what normal is. You’re the therapist here.”
“What’s normal to me is not always what is normal to you. I want to know what is normal to you.”
“You know,” he fidgeted with his jacket some more. “Going outside and being with friends and family. Working. All that. That’s normal.”
“And what are you doing now that’s not normal?”
“Everything. I don’t do anything normal. I live in a room with nothing but a bed and a chair. I don’t talk to my friends. I don’t see my family. And the thing is, I don’t want to. That is not normal to me.”
He stood up and took off his jacket to get more comfortable. He felt awkward for the first time in a while. He wasn’t used to talking to anyone. He only talked to himself, and that was only in his mind.
“Have you always been like this?”
“No. I used to be so much fun. I was the life of the party. Always surrounded by people. But things change.”
“What made them change?”
“Me.”
“Why did you change them?”
“Because. . . things happened.”
“What things?
“I don’t want to talk about them. I want you to tell me what I have to do to get better.”
“I don’t know all the answers, Riley. I need you to talk to me so I can better understand how you got to this particular moment. I won’t make you talk about anything you don’t want to though.”
He continued to stand. His thoughts raced and for a second he thought that this whole situation was a bad idea. “I’m not crazy, you know.”
“I didn’t say you were.”
“I know, I just don’t want you to look at me like some crazy freak. I’m not.”
“Come sit down and let’s talk some more.” Her voice was soothing. She seemed genuinely concerned with what he had to say. He wasn’t quite sure if she really cared or if she was just doing her job. “Let’s start off with some basics. Tell me about your life before ‘things happened.’”
For the next hour he told her stories of his family. Fun times he shared with his friends brought the biggest smile to his face. He looked completely at ease as he remembered, but he spoke about them as if they hadn’t happened to him, as if they had happened to someone else and he just watched. When the session was over, Leila felt almost bad about having to stop him from talking. He seemed so eager to talk about anything. Well, anything except what happened to turn his life around. But she knew that information would come out when he was more comfortable. She certainly couldn’t jump right into the problem on the first day. They both stood and she walked him back out to the waiting room. “Kristeen will set up your next appointment. I’d like to start seeing you twice a week to start, okay?”
He nodded and smiled. Everything is going to be alright. I can feel it.
