The Extra-Super List Of Things That You Would Need If You Were A Wizard

I think you all know what I'm talking about. I mean, there are a lot of wizards out there, and sometimes, they just don't know what to put in those magic bags. So for all you wizards, here's a page to make life a little easier.

• Instant Magic Hammers- The ultimate tool for nailing Instant Magic Nails.
• An Ultimate Disc- Come on, they're fun.
• A Giant Novelty Pencil- For giant novelty writing.
• "Reservoir Dogs" The Movie- I'm hungry, let's get a taco
• A Conan Sword- Probably the coolest weapon ever invented.
• Red Contact Lenses- Awesome for scaring your friends and small children.
• Stilts- 'Cause man, wizards want to be tall.
• A Laser Telescope- Talk about a classic.
• A Gorca Action Figure- Hours of fun for the whole family.
• A Robot African Swallow From The Future- Man, those things sure can carry coconuts.
• An Immortal Fairy- Just in case it tries to die on you.
• Two Turn-Tables And A Microphone- For when you're bustin' your phat rhymes.
• A Plastic Pipe Ball- Man, you know those toys where you blow on the pipe, and the ball floats? Those are great!
• Fuzzy Dice- For your lowrider of course.
• A Goat- Run for your life, the APOCALYPSE is here!
• Elf Shoes- You know the ones that curl up at the end? What I wouldn't give for a pair of those.
• A Guy Named Vivian- Don't even ask.
• A Nipple Ring- Hey, it's the nineties.
• A Rag On A Stick- You either know why, or you don't.
• A Superman Cape- They work better than regular wizard capes.