For once, somebody may call me "Sir" without adding, "...you're making a scene."-Homer Simpson
Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?-Homer Simpson
Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! (chugs beer)-Homer Simpson
Son, when you participate in sporthing events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.-Homer Simpson
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.-Homer Simpson
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.-Homer Simpson
Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs.-Homer Simpson
Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.-Homer Simpson (I'm still laughing on this one)
Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't- it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.-Homer Simpson
The man who never makes a mistake always takes orders from one who does.-anonymous
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.-Plato (429-347 BC)
What luck for the rulers that men do not think.-Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) (This one didn't mean much to me until I read who said it. It really makes you think)
Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.-C. Northcote Parkinson
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end.-NIN, Hurt