By Tifa Strife, Queen Of Hentai
Note-despite the author's name, there is NO hentai in this fic, as I threatened to lock her in a room with Aeris for a few days if she did. On with the story!
“I wonder when Cloud will be back? I hope he is okay. I really hope him and Barret didn’t fight.... no, who am I kidding, I’ll be lucky if they haven’t killed each other. I really wish they were back. Especially Cloud. I miss him. What the hell is wrong with you girl? I only saw him this morning! I really have to stop thinking about Cloud. Okay, lets practice this not thinking about Cloud thing. Let’s concentrate on something else like, erm...”
The mirror caught my eye. I stared at it for a minute and I could see the guys behind the bar checking my behind. I hated this, why was this outfit the only thing the hospital had left? I wonder if Cloud thinks I’m beautiful? I wonder if he ever checks me from behind, I wonder if he wants to...
“Hey!”
I turned around to see who had (so rudely) interrupted my thoughts. I was not very happy with what I saw. He was one of those guys who were as ugly as sin but thought they were gods gift to women, and I noticed that he had been in the bar before. That isn’t the kind of face you forget in a hurry.
“Hey doll face, how about another drink?”
He grinned at me and I noticed he had some teeth missing (probably from all the fights he had been in), a bald head, and he seemed to have forgotten to shave that morning. It was pointless him calling me doll face seeing as he seemed to be talking to my breasts. Cloud on the other hand talked to my face… well he did talk to my boobs sometimes. But that’s okay because.... No wait I’m thinking about Cloud again. I really have to stop this!
I handed the guy his drink and turned to go when he grabbed my arm over the bar. The very thought of that... that thing touching me was enough to make me sick! I pulled my hand away in disgust, noticing his friends were nudging each other and laughing. I surveyed them all carefully. There weren’t that many of them, and they were all drunk. I could probably take them all pretty easily. Then the ringleader moved his face closer to mine. His breath stank of alcohol and if I didn’t feel sick before I certainly did now.
“How much for a piece of you?” he asked. I moved away from him,
“Behave, or I will have to throw you out,” I warned him, I didn’t need this right now, Cloud and Barret were late getting back and I was worried. I wanted to know if Cloud was okay. Was he thinking of me now? I was pulled out of my thoughts by the man’s friends, who were laughing loudly enough to wake the whole slums.
“Just one question,” he asked in a menacing voice “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
I couldn’t believe people still used that line. The dinosaurs must have used it, it was so old! But I wouldn’t mind Cloud using it on me... I turned to face the man.
“...Unfertilised” I said, evenly. I was so angry. My eye kept going to the clock. I wanted to go looking for Cloud; they should have been back by now.
“I don’t think you understand,” his voice seemed to have got even more menacing and I prepared myself to fight, “I ALWAYS get want I want.”
“Look you...” I was ready to insult the hell out of this creep and then knock his head off when suddenly Barret stormed in firing his gun. I had never been so happy to see him.
“Don’t think this is the end of this!” The man was shouting to me above the noise of Barret and the rest throwing everyone out of the bar. “I’m gonna screw you, and kill you!” Barret then grabbed him and started to drag him out of the bar. I didn’t care! I didn’t care that this guy had just threatened to rape and kill me, I would deal with it if and when the time came, all I could think of was where was Cloud?
Everything calmed down almost suddenly, then he walked in. My heart jumped when I saw him. Nothing else mattered, it was as if everything else in the room had disappeared. He was staring straight at me as I stared back at him, I must have been so obvious, I just wanted to look away. But I could stare into his eyes forever.
“Papa?” The voice made me jump, Marlene was in tears in the corner. I felt so sorry for her, she missed her father so much when he was away (I missed my father). But at the same time I felt a relief that I had an excuse to look away from Cloud. I tried to comfort her.
“Marlene, aren’t you going to say anything to Cloud?” She didn’t say anything, she just shook her head. I could still feel Clouds gaze on me. I turned to greet him. God, I hoped I looked ok.
“Welcome home, Cloud. Looks like everything went well.” He smiled at me, it wasn’t very often he smiled but when he did my heart felt like it was flying. I had to stay calm, I looked down blushing and asked the first question that came into my head, “Did you fight with Barret?”
“Not this time.” He also had an amazing voice, but his answer surprised me.
“Hmm you’ve grown up. When you were little you used to get into fights at the drop of a hat.”
He didn’t say anything. We were both silent for a moment (this was probably while I was being named.) It was then that something caught my eye. In his hand was a beautiful white flower.
“Flowers? How nice... you almost never see them here in the slums but...”
Was the flower for me? I didn’t even know if I should dare hope so, but if I didn’t ask I would always be wondering. I have to be brave. “A flower for me?” I healed my breath for what seemed like forever. He handed me the flower, I really could never explain how happy I felt. “Oh Cloud, you shouldn’t have.” Every one of my instincts was telling me to kiss him, but the moment was so perfect, I didn’t want to ruin it.
“No big” Cloud said, a smile crossing his lips as he stared into my eyes. I brought the flower up and smelt it without moving my gaze from his.
“ Thank you Cloud. It smells wonderful.” I said. For a minute our faces were so close I could feel his breath, then I felt my face flush and I moved away in embarrassment. I wanted to change the subject. I wanted to be with Cloud, more than anything in the world, but some things he said just didn’t add up, I wanted to be sure. And what if he didn’t love me? What if I made my move and he rejected me? I loved him so much, how could I live with that? How could I live with neither his friendship nor his love? So though it broke my heart, I had to pull away. “Maybe I should fill the store with flowers.”
That was good, comment on the bar.
Then we heard the thundering of footsteps and Barret came running up the stairs into the bar.
“Papa, welcome home!” Marlene shouted. She was so happy to see him and him her. I couldn’t imagine myself as a mother, but I could imagine how difficult it must be for Barret to leave Marlene behind all the time.
“You all right Barret?” I asked him. I was much closer to Barret than I was to Biggs, Jesse and Wedge. He had took me in and let me join AVALANCHE when I had no where else to go, no direction in life. I was just a refuge from Nibelheim trying to make a living in the slums, just trying to make sure I got my paper every day for news on my childhood friend.
“Great!” Barret said with a big grin across his face. “Get in here fools!! We’re startin the meetin'!!” I watched as the others followed Mr T.... Erm, I mean Barret down below. Only Cloud and I remained, I made my way behind the bar. I watched Cloud approach me, and hoped with all my heart that he wanted to talk.
“Sit down.” I told him. He did. Ok, good start. “How about... something to drink?” I really hoped he would say yes, I wanted him to stay so I could have a chance to talk to him.
“Give me something hard.” I couldn’t help but smile, hard was what I hoped he was. No stop it Tifa, no hentai!
“Just a minute, I’ll make one for you.” I made him a drink and gave it to him. I took a deep breath. He did seem like he was in a bit of a mood, but I really had to talk to him. I had to tell him how I was feeling. “You know, I’m relieved you made it back safely,” I started.
“What’s with you all of a sudden? That wasn’t even a tough job!” He was staring at me confused. I was so embarrassed, I couldn’t carry on now.
“I guess not,” I said softly, I couldn’t even look at him “You were in SOLDIER” He looked down at his empty cup. The silence hurt my ears. I had to break it, “Make sure you get your pay from Barret.” I said hoping I sounded cheerful.
“Don’t worry. Once I get the money, I’m outta here.” His words stung me.Why would he want to leave? Didn’t he care for me at all? Didn’t he realise how much I loved him? I watched him stand up, not wanting him to leave, but feeling helpless to stop him. I couldn’t leave things like this. He stood in front of the bar for a moment as if he was also trying to think of something to say.
“Cloud, are you feeling all right?” I asked. Something must be wrong, he didn’t usually snap at me. But maybe he was annoyed at me for pulling away before.
“Yes... why?” He asked looking at me curiously, “No reason. You just look a little tired I guess.” I lied to him, I didn’t want to lie to him, I wanted to know if he wanted to kiss me before, if it annoyed him that I pulled away. I wanted to explain why. But I just couldn’t talk to him right now. I had summoned up all the courage inside me and he had snapped at me. It had brought me crashing down. “You’d better go down below.” He nodded his head, looked at me for a moment, and then made his way down. I watched him go. I wanted to kick myself. How did I manage to mess that up? How? But then my attention was caught by something on the bar, the flower Cloud had given me. I picked it up. It was beautiful. No one had ever bought me flowers before. A flower from anyone else would have been nice, but a flower from Cloud was even more special. It made me a hundred times happier.
I held it in my hands and just gazed at it. I remembered about back when I was 16. Cloud was all that mattered then, and Cloud was still all that mattered now. He meant so much to me that I couldn’t find the words to describe the emotions inside. I knew I have beer glasses to wash, but I just wanted to sit there, staring at the flower. I knew I had a stupid smile on my face, but I just didn’t care. Suddenly I was pulled out of my sweet thoughts by a bang downstairs. It was like something had been thrown. I dreaded to think what had happened. I put my flower down and made my way down, holding my breath, not quite knowing what to expect.
I could see Cloud and Barret looking like they were about to have a fight. Why did it have to be this way? I wanted to stop them, but then Cloud saved me the trouble by walking away. No. I couldn’t let him go. I lost my chance of telling him how I felt when we were younger and I wasn’t about to waste this opportunity. Most people aren’t lucky enough to get two shots at fate. I grabbed his arm. He turned to face me. His eyes stared straight into mine. They melted me. I was meaning to sound angry, but looking at him now, looking into his eyes I couldn’t.
“Wait, Cloud!” I said in a soft voice. His expression softened and for a moment he looked like he was going to change his mind. I felt his tense arm begin to relax, but then Barret had to butt in.
“Tifa! Let him go! Looks like he still misses the Shinra!”
Cloud’s face darkened. He looked away from me, straight at Barret. He looked infuriated. I let go of his arm.
“Shut up!” He was shouting. I wanted to calm him down, but I just didn’t know what to do, everything was happening so fast. “I don’t care about either Shinra or SOLDIER!” He started to pace the room. I wanted to calm him, I couldn’t bear seeing him like this. “ But don’t get me wrong!” He was staring straight at Barret, contempt and venom in his azure eyes. “I don’t care about AVALANCHE, or the planet for that matter!”
I had to say something. I didn’t want him to leave. Was it too much to ask that he could get along with Barret? Obviously it was. He had paused, not looking at me any more, like he was deliberately avoiding my gaze.
I gently put my hand on his arm. I was trembling, feeling the tears sting my eyes as I struggled not to let them show.
“Straighten things up with everyone, for me? Please?” I asked him as gently as I could. He just shook his head and ran up to the escalator. I stood there, stunned and numb. I was aware the others were talking but I wasn’t concentrating on what they were saying. I was trying to blink back the tears. It didn’t work, I felt a warm teardrop run down my left cheek. I quickly wiped it away before anyone noticed. Was this really the end of anything I had ever had with Cloud? No! I couldn’t just let him walk out on us. Not just for me. We- all of us- needed his help. He couldn’t keep doing this to me, he couldn’t just keep coming in and out of my life at his leisure. I had to push my feelings for him aside and try to convince him to stay. I would never be able to if I burst into tears every time something went wrong between us. I had to be stronger than that. Maybe I could still catch him.
I went upstairs and to my relief he was still there (I would hate to have to chase him down the street in front of everyone, but who am I kidding? If I had to I would.) He didn’t turn around. I had to think straight.
“Listen, Cloud I’m asking you. Please join us.” Again, he didn’t turn around. He just shook his head.
“Sorry Tifa…” He said softly. Did he regret leaving us? I had to know. I came up behind him and placed my hand on his shoulder. I was still shaking. I really wanted to make him understand why he should stay. Not just for me, but for AVALANCHE.
“The planet is dying, Cloud. Someone has to do something.” I was talking so quietly that if he hadn’t been standing so close I don’t think he would have heard me. He turned around, and I let my hand drop from his shoulder. He was directly facing me now, a mixture of anger and despair in his eyes.
“So let Barret and his buddies do something about it! It’s got nothing to do with me.” He turned to leave. I couldn’t believe he was actually going to just walk out that door right in front of me. Was I nothing to him? Did he even care in the slightest whether he ever saw me again or not? Rage burned inside, and I began to shout frustratedly.
“So! Your really leaving?!” There was a new tone to my voice. It was like a mother scolding a child. He stopped walking, but didn’t turn to face me. “You’re just going to walk right out of here, ignoring your childhood friend?!”
I couldn’t believe I had just talked to him like that. I was relieved I had finally got it out, but I still couldn’t believe I had raised my voice to him. He turned around to face me. He looked offended.
“What…?” There was shock and confusion in his voice. “How can you say that?” He looked so offended that I softened and looked down. I started playing with my hair like a schoolgirl.
“You forgot the promise too.” I said quietly.
“Promise?” He sounded so confused, and that hurt me. It really hurt me. That night was so important, how could he just forget it like it was nothing?
“So you did forget.” I said feeling the tears burn my eyes again. I walked towards him and looked straight into his eyes. “Remember… Cloud. It was seven years ago. Look, the well. Do you remember?”
I held my breath. If he couldn’t remember this then I really did mean nothing to him. How something so small could mean so much to me I don’t think anyone could understand, but I did. I understood how much this seemingly insignificant thing meant. After all, I’d clung to the memory for years. Just him and I, no one else. I watched him carefully. A dreamy look seemed to pass through his eyes.
“Yeah. Back then I thought you would never come, and I was getting a little cold.” Relief washed over me. He DID remember. I watched him for a while, watching his face as the memories flooded over him. That night under the stars. Every time there was a starry night, I would just go out and gaze at the night sky, and remember. Now he was remembering too,and it made me so happy.
His gaze turned to me and he was looking into my eyes. I took hold of his hand and brought it close to me.
“You remember now, don’t you? Our promise?” He looked down sadly and shook his head. I couldn’t bear to see him like that. I wanted to comfort him.
“I’m not a hero and I’m not famous. I can’t keep the promise.” I had to comfort him. He didn’t need to look so crushed . In my eyes he would always be a hero.
“But you got your childhood dream, didn’t you? You joined Soldier.” He was still looking at the ground. I put my finger under his chin and brought his head up so he was looking straight at me. “So come on!” I said with a smile “You’ve got to keep your promise…” He was staring straight into my eyes. His gaze was now soft, and we were standing so close that I could hardly bear the longing I felt for him. I could feel my heart beating faster as his fingers tightened around mine. Our faces moved closer together, my heart gaining pace with each millimetre…
“Wait a sec big time soldier!” The voice made us jump apart. Bitter disappointment filled me, and my heart completely dropped. I looked around to see Barret, who wasn’t even aware that he had interrupted anything. “A promise is a promise!” inside me I laughed. How ironic. “Here!!” He threw a bag of gil to Cloud. I watched Cloud open it and rapidly paw through its contents.
“This is my pay?” He said disgustedly, “don’t make me laugh!” I couldn’t believe it. My heart jumped up again.
“What?” I said in joyfully, “then you’ll…!!” Cloud glanced at me with a smile, but his face turned serious when he spoke to Barret.
“You got the next mission lined up? I’ll do it for 3000.” Barret looked horrified, he obviously didn’t share the same enthusiasm as me.
“WHAT?!?!?!?!?” He screamed as I rushed over to calm him down. He was NOT going to ruin this, not now that Cloud was finally staying.
“It’s ok, it’s ok.” I tried to calm him. We talked about it for a while, and I reasoned with him. Then Barret turned to Cloud.
“2000!” He said. Cloud just nodded. “Thanks Cloud.” I said gratefully. He turned to look at me, when Barret yawned loudly.
“You fools better be getting to bed soon,” He said in a sleepy voice, “We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.” He made his way downstairs. Cloud and I were left alone.
He was still looking at me. I stared at the floor and felt myself blush. He came closer to me.
“We, ah… we should be getting to bed,” I said nervously. “Barret’s right, we do have a long day tomorrow.” I looked up at him He was scratching the back of his head, that cute embarrassed gesture of his.
“Yes I guess… But Tifa, could I take a shower first?” I hadn’t even thought he might want to take a shower.
“Yes, of course.” I smiled. I showed him where it was. “We all sleep in the room downstairs on the floor. There isn’t much space with Barret around, but you’ll fit.”
“Right, got it. Guess I’ll see you there then.” We both laughed, and I made my way out of the bathroom, half disappointed that he hadn’t invited me in with him.
Downstairs. I took off my gloves and boots and undid my hair. I began to run my brush through it. Everyone was asleep already, Barret snoring loudly. It was annoying, but you got used to it.
Eventually.
I sat down on the floor and put my head on my pillow, half pulling the blanket over myself. I lay there with my eyes open, thinking of Cloud. I could hear the water in the shower. He wasn’t singing which had to be a good thing. I smiled and absentmindedly ran my finger along a crack in the wall. I loved him so much. But I couldn’t tell him yet. Some of the things he said just made no sense. His memories didn’t fit with mine. I wanted to ask him, but I was scared. Straining my ears, I heard the water had been turned off. Then I heard Cloud enter the room. I sat up to see him.
His hair was dripping wet. Long strands of blonde hair fell into his eyes, beads of water dripping off the ends. He pushed them back and grinned at me.
“You let your hair down,” he said to me, “Man it’s long.” I smiled.
“Well, I have been growing it for a long time. So, when your hair dries does it naturally go spiky or do you have to put a vast amount of gel on it?”
“Oh no ,I go for the natural look” He said imitating the models you see on TV.
“Yeah, *cough* natural,” I smiled, teasing him gently. He laughed good-naturedly. I put my finger on my lip.
“Shhhh, we’ll wake them!” I said, but it was no good. We were both still laughing.
“Who cares?” Cloud grinned mischievously. “Hey, dare me to hold Barett's nose?” He said with a joking menace.
“No Cloud!” I whispered. “He’ll kill you! And do you really want to mess with a guy with a gun on his arm?” Cloud looked at the gun like he was contemplating it, but then he shook his head.
“I guess not. We could always say Biggs did it.”
That was it, we started laughing again. I finally lay down. I was really tired. Why did Cloud never show the others this side of him?
“Hey, where can a guy get a pillow round here?” Cloud asked.
“I left you one on Jesse’s chair, and a blanket.” I told him. He picked up the pillow, and to my surprise he made his way towards me and put it next to mine. He lay down and pulled some of my blanket over to him.
“Your blanket's big enough for us both,” he said, smiling.
“Well yes… I guess it is.” I said shocked.
“'kay,” he said.
“So, okay.” I said. We both smiled and I turned of the light by my head. Then I turned my back to him to go to sleep. He lay down too, he then shocked me by wrapping his arms around my waist. He pulled me in close to him. I didn’t know what to do. I just lay there. This is what I had always wanted. I was so happy but nervous. He started to run his hands up and down my body as I lay there and didn’t say anything. I wanted to just relax and enjoy it… but what of things went too far and one of the others woke up? And anyway I didn’t want things to go further, not here. Not like this. He hadn’t even said he loved me. It just wouldn’t feel, right.
“Is this ok?” He whispered to me. “Yes, it’s fine Cloud.” I said. I decided this would be okay, but nothing else. I let him carry on for a while. I wanted him so much, but I was terrified that someone would wake up. Marlene was asleep in the room too for Gods sake!
“Cloud?” I whispered after a while, “What if someone wakes up?”
He sat up and I turned to face him. Even though it was dark I could tell he was thinking.
“Ok,” he said.
“Thanks, Cloud.” I said. “You know it would have been different if we were alone.”
“I know, it’s fine.” He said softly, and I loved him more than ever. He kissed me on the cheek, lay back down with his arms around my waist and held me tight.
“Goodnight Cloud.” I whispered softly.
“Goodnight Tifa.” He whispered back. Though my head was spinning, exhaustion took over my body and I fell asleep.
When I woke up that morning I was so scared that it might of all been a wonderful dream. But there I was, in Clouds arms. His legs were all tangled up in mine, and I just wanted to lie like that forever. Usually I have bad dreams, about fire, Sephiroth, my mom and dad, but last night I slept soundly. I had fallen asleep feeling so happy and safe. I lay in Clouds arms for a while, just listening to him breathing. He was exhausted. I had no idea what time it was and I didn’t care. I drifted in and out of sleep for some time. I was sure it must have been pretty late in the morning by then, but it didn’t matter. Lying there with Cloud next to me was all that mattered at that moment.
“Tifa?” The voice startled me, I looked up to see Wedge standing above Cloud and I.
I felt embarrassed for him to see me like this. Everyone must have seen us.
“Yes,Wedge?” I said.
“Tifa it’s five to twelve. Barret’s pretty annoyed you guys slept in, and I’m starving.” He looked so pitiful, and felt I a pang of guilt.
“Haven’t you had anything to eat?” I asked him.
“Well there isn’t anyone to make breakfast.” He said looking at me hopefully.
“Ok, I’m coming.” I sighed. I just wanted to stay lying there with Cloud, but I had to get up. I really didn’t want to, I forced myself. I was careful not to wake him, but as I sat up he stirred.
“Uh… where are you going?” He said in a voice that told me he was half-asleep.
“I have to go and make breakfast for the others,” I said softly. “I have to or they‘ll starve, useless people. Think they’d be able to figure out how to pour cereal by now. I’ll see you when you get up, okay?” It wasn’t really a question, but he answered anyway.
“No, it’s not okay but, if you have to then you have to.” He still sounded drowsy. He hadn’t even opened his eyes. I kissed him on the forehead. His smile made my heart jump again-that familiar feeling from the night before.
I got up and showered quickly. Then I had to make everyone breakfast. I didn’t eat breakfast and neither did Cloud, so I was okay there. Biggs, Wedge, Jessie and Barret on the other hand ate enough to feed an army. Marlene wasn’t so bad. It was pancakes this morning, which everyone loved. I left them to finish their meal while I put my gloves and boots on. I didn’t have any materia yet, but hopefully that would soon change. After the others had finished eating I decided to let them wash and put the plates away. I was about to go and see if Cloud was up yet when Jessie stopped me. I knew what she wanted to talk about from the look in her eyes. No one had mentioned last night to me, so I thought I was safe.
“Cloud is pretty cute isn’t he?” She said to me with no particular tone to her voice.
“Well, yeah,” I said quietly, feeling a bit embarrassed. However, she stuck her hand out to me. At first I thought she was being sarcastic, but I caught a glimpse at the sincerity in her eyes.
“I guess the best girl won, Tifa. I hope you and Cloud will be very happy.”
Slowly I shook her hand. I didn’t know Jessie that well but she seemed to be okay. It was a kind gesture. I watched silently as she walked out the door with Biggs and Wedge. Then I heard footsteps behind me. It wasn’t Barret’s clumping size 18s, or Marlene’s rapid footsteps. I turned around.
“Good morning Cloud.”
I was happy to see him, even though I had spent the whole night next to him.
“Did you sleep well?” I asked him.
“Next to you, who wouldn’t?” He said. I felt myself blush but I had a big smile across my face. “I don’t know what you mean.” I said as innocently as I could. We both laughed. “I’m going with you this time.” I told him. He nodded. The idea seemed to appeal to him.
Then Barret began with one of his boring, “inspirational” lectures. I wasn’t listening. I couldn’t keep my eyes from wandering in Cloud’s direction , and he seemed to be doing the same. Things couldn’t be better.