*** Quarter-Final Match #3 ***
(ZELL VS. ULTIMECIA)




-Ref. Mills Lane: Alright, I want a good clean match. And there better not be any time compression either. Now lets get it on!
-Zell: Huh? What's with the referee?
-Ultimecia: There were allegations of cheating in the last match, so now we have a referee to preside over things and make sure it's ''fair''.
-Zell: Oh well, I'm still gonna pound your face; Get ready!
-Ultimecia: Foolish SeeD. Kurse you and this tournament. I am everlasting.
-Zell (does backflip): You're doomed witch, you can't win. I'm the good guy, remember? This is my show; and besides, ''Malboro Man'' has already predicted your defeat.
-Ultimecia: I do not kare about mere predicitions; I will kompletely krush you and your little friend. Your time is at and end.
(picks up Zell by the throat and throws him across the arena)
-Zell: ughh....crap. i need a GF, quick.
(summons Bahaumut)
(there is no reply)
-Ultimecia: Ha ha ha, Bahaumut is dead you idiot! The chocoboo killed him! Haven't you been following the tournament?
-Zell: i wanted to, but i had to read my fighter comics.
-Ultimecia: Too bad.
(Uses Hell's Judgement)
(lots of nice PS graphics follow for a few seconds)
-Zell: Ouuuuuuch! Back off lady, somebody help!
(uses Elixir)
-Ultimecia: Well we can't be having you using Elixir's, now can we?
(seals ITEM command)
-Zell: Wait a minute, You can't do that! We're not in your castle! You can only lock commands in your castle! Mills, do something!
-Ref. Mills Lane (ponders for a moment): I'll allow it!
-Zell: ...wha!?
-Ultimecia (laughs madly): Well at least you have the comfort of knowing that the critics will gripe incessantly about how unfair your death was.
-Zell: ''critics''? Who are the ''cri-tics''? Are they a type of bug or something?
-Ultimecia: Idiot!
(backhands Zell across the face)
-Zell: That's it you stupid *****, now you've done it! I summon the kind of the GF's, BAhamaut!
(summons Bahaumut)
(there is no reply)
-Ultimecia: You just did that you moron!
-Zell: oh really? These darn GF's are just killing my memory. I just can't seem to remember anything anymore. oh well, you want to go get something to eat?
-Ultimecia: WE'RE HAVING A DEATHMATCH!!! YOU ARE INKOMPETENT!
-Zell: Oh yeah, that's right. I remember now. Hey, then why can't I summon Bahamut?
-Ultimecia: BECAUSE THE CHOCOBOO KILLED HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Zell: yeah, that's right! I got it now! But wait, didn't Rydia use Bahaumut in the last match? What gives?
-Ultimecia (picks Zell up by the throat again; proceeds to shake): BECAUSE RYDIA USED THE SUMMONED MONSTER BAHAUMUT; YOU TRIED TO CALL THE GF!!!!!!!!
-Ultimecia: YOU HEAR ME!? S-U-M-M-O-N-E-D M-O-N-S-T-E-R! SPELL IT WITH ME BOY!
-Ultimecia: S!
(blow to Zell's skull)
-Ultimecia: U!
(slash to Zell's stomach)
-Ultimecia: M!
(slam's Zell on the ground)
-Ultimecia: M!
(slam's Zell on the ground again)
-Ultimecia: O!
(stab to Zell's throat)
-Ultimecia: N!
(gash to Zell's leg)
-Ultimecia: C!
-Ultimecia: Oh darn! I spelled it wrong! I guess I'll have to start all over again!
-Ultimecia: S!
(blow to Zell's skull)
(entire sequence repeats....)

-Ultimecia: There, now you understand the difference. Zell? Zell? You there?
(the bloody pulp on the ground does not respond)
-Ultimecia: Oh, I guess I killed him; lucky me. (yawn)

-Mysterious voice: Wait! Hold on!
-Ultimecia: Huh? Who's that?
-Ramza: It's me, Ramza Beolouve. You must stop the deathmatch! It's not what you think lady, It's being manipulated by the church in their quest for the holy stones! You must cease this un-necessary violence!
-Ultimecia: Ramza who? Who are you? You were never in a Final Fantasy game, what are you doing here?
-Ramza: Yes I was! I was in Final Fantasy Tactics, the epic war simulation.
-Ultimecia: !!! I remember now! I spent 7 centuries trying to sort through all the characters and story lines in that game! I was never able to finish! I wanted to, but I couldn't!
-Ramza: No, its not me! It's the church! They planned it! You don't understand!
-Ultimecia: It's all your fault mortal! In order to have enough time to understand that game I had to activate time kompression and go back in time! But then those cursed SeeDs foiled my plan just as I was about to finish the game! Now you will pay for your crimes!
-Ramza: No! Wait! It's not my fault! I'm not a SeeD! Ahhh!!! Its the chur..AGHHHHH!!!!

(Insert ominous music): Ultimecia advances



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