"The
way he plays chess demonstrates a man's whole nature."
~Stanley Ellin
Attitude Check #3--The
Second of the Four Freedoms
"...freedom
from self-pity..."
The Learner: Hey, Coach, I'm really bummed. I lost to Yuri Greatplayeroff for about the bazillionth time and it cost me a trophy--again!
The Master: That's tough. It hurts to lose, doesn't it?
The Learner: Sure does. That stuff you taught me about facing my feelings and then trying to learn things from the game helped...sort of.
The Master: Sort of?
The Learner: Well, it looks like my big lesson is that he's a much, much better player than I will ever be, and that I have precisely no hope of beating him. To tell you the truth, I'm beginning to wonder if I should keep playing chess. I'm just a weak player, and I always will be. Maybe chess just isn't my thing.
The Master: Well, that's a natural enough reaction. And maybe you're right. However, you haven't convinced me yet.
The Learner: What do you mean, "haven't convinced you yet?" Didn't you hear what I've been saying? I lost to Greatplayeroff again , and I haven't won a trophy since forever. And you said yourself that my reaction was a natural one.
The Master: Just because it's natural doesn't mean it's accurate. Tell me why you think you lose games?
The Learner: Because I'm not as talented as my opponents, because I don't know enough about the openings...the list seems endless.
The Master: Those things might be true, but let me suggest there's a more fundamental reason. Technically, why do you believe you lost to Yuri?
The Learner: He's the top player in the state, maybe in several states. It's just not reasonable for me to expect to defeat him.
The Master: Maybe not, but that isn't the point. Try again--why do you think you lost?
The Learner: Because he's Yuri, and I'm, well...I guess it was because he made better moves, much better moves, than I did. Oh, I see where you're going. I lose chess games because my moves aren't as good as my opponent's moves.
The Master: Bingo! Understanding that in your bones is crucial if you want to improve your chess.
The Learner: How so?
The Master: There's nothing you can do about your pairings, or about how strong your opponents are. So you can't blame yourself 100% for the outcome of every game, because you can't control all the factors. But whatcan you do something about?
The Learner: The quality of my own moves?
The Master: Absolutely! You may or may not be able to defeat Yuri Greatplayeroff. There are plenty of players in the world against whomI'd have little or no chance. However, I learned long ago that what Icould do was continue working on my own game, play my hardest, and then accept the fact that things will turn out as they will. Oh, and every now and again I surprise myself. I'm sure you will as well.
The Learner: Hey Coach, I'm starting to feel a little better. I wonder why that is? I'm still bummed that I lost the game.
The Master: Of course you are--that's normal. However, you're probably feeling better because you're not pitying yourself anymore.
The Learner: Pitying? Yeah, I guess that's what I was doing, wasn't it?
The Master: Uh huh. It's really easy to fall into self-pity when we forget to take responsibility for the things that are within our ability to control.
The Learner: Like what things?
The Master: Well, you tell me. What things are you able to control?
The Learner: Maybe my attitude...how hard I study...the decisions I make at the board--things like that?
The Master: You've got the hang of it. Those ideas all stem from one theme: only you can control the quality of your own moves. And there are other things affecting your performance, including how much sleep you got the night before, whether you ate a decent breakfast, and so on. These are things you can control, and they have an impact on the quality of your play.
The Learner: OK, Coach. But I think I see a potential problem here.
The Master: What's that?
The Learner: Well, it might sound dumb for me to say, "I can't do everything," but it's true. Maybe I could have done better against Yuri Greatplayeroff if I'd spent a couple of hours Friday night studying the line he plays in the Sicilian.
The Master: And why didn't you?
The Learner: I was planning to, but it was my brother's birthday and he wanted to go to the movies.
The Master: Well, I think that was more important on Friday night than the Sicilian Defense. But how might you have avoided running into that type of schedule conflict in the first place?
The Learner: Uh...I guess by being more focused earlier in the week, instead of waiting until the last minute to prepare. Yeah, that would have been better. And it's something I know I can do something about. Hey Coach, thanks!
The Master: You're welcome. Just remember that some things will always be beyond your control, but when you take responsibility for the things you know you are able to control, you willl feel better about yourself and you're also likely to perform better. Seeing this principle, and applying it, is a major stride in the direction of freedom from self-pity.
-Attitude
Check #2 --The
First of the Four
Freedoms
-Attitude Check #1 --The Four
Freedoms
© 2002-2004 Pete Prochaska. All rights reserved.
Click here to return to the Chess Odyssey home page.