FAQ U!

   This is our answer to all the corny and meaningless questions that people ask us, which we've lovingly called the "Frequently Asked Questions... Update!" 

1.)    What exactly is an "anti-clan"?

Ian:  The easiest way to explain Adam's Road Gang is written in my little rant on the members page, so if you missed that, here it is:

First off, I want to empasize the fact that we honestly don't care about your record.  The whole point of ARG is to mock and ridicule other clans who take Starcraft not for what it is but instead to be a real war.  They take it far too seriously.  When they lose, they insult you.  When they win, they taunt you or ignore you.  They get so caught up in trying to keep an unblemished record that they forget to have fun with the game.  If they start to lose then they ask for a draw so that they won't get their first loss.  What is the point in that?  Can you brag to your girlfriend that you can't be beaten in a fake war?  Do you get money for winning?  No.  It's a game and that is it. Sure, it's fun to win, but it can be just as fun to lose if you learn how to accept your defeat with grace.  Every time you play, you can learn something new about the game.  Starcraft has endless possibilities but only if you are willing to look for them.  Try out new things with the game.  Try playing a race you usually don't use.  Try playing against more than one person.  Learn from other people's tactics.  Just don't get caught up in looking good.  If you haven't noticed, I didn't put anything about record here on the page and that is because we don't want a record.  If you join the clan then you won't rise through the ranks by mercilessly beating harmless computers into the ground along with seven other people.  You may think that makes you look good in battle.net when you have a 523-0-13 record, but to anyone but the blind a record like that cannot be real.  We know that you have achieved it through unfair play.  So, if you join our clan you will have to rise up by being a fun player and by getting to know us.  If you are someone who flames, you won't get anywhere.  If you are someone who congratulates a winner when you get beat though, you might earn a few promotions.  So, let the games begin and have fun with Adam's Road Gang but more importantly, have fun with StarCraft.

2.)    What's with the Skull and Cross bones? "ARG"? Are you guys Pirates?

Will: Uh..... no.

Adam: But, Will, what about that eyepatch?

Will: Look, flash animations do not a webpage make, nor eyepatches a pirate.

Ian:  I'm a pirate...  ARGGG....  Bring me my cutlass, matey so we can keelhaul these scurvy landlubbers...

3.)    FAQ U? Don't you find that rather offensive?

Will:    I'm sorry... offensive? I don't get where you're going with this. We answer you're "Frequently Asked Questions" with our constant Updates. You're too sensitive..

Ian:    Look, you stupid bastard, if you are honestly too much of a pussy to handle a little frequently asked questions page, then you don't deserve to breathe much less be in our clan.  So go cry somewhere else and stop wasting my time.  Piss off, dick.

Brian:    Yeah!  It's not like we said "Fuck You!"...  Geez...

Ian:    That was the whole joke, man. You ruined it.

Brian:    Oh.

4.)    You remember that time in Die Hard when there was all this broken glass and Bruce Willis got up to it but he didn't have any shoes, so he had to walk across all that glass without any shoes?

Ian:  Yeah.  That was pretty cool.

5.)    Whats up with this Nathan guy, why is he always ranked last?

Ian:  Nathan is the Pinky to my Brain.  He is the Cameron to my Ferris.  The fool to Mr. T's pity and the Bluto to my Popeye.  Nathan is just another friend who I like to poke fun at.  He is a swell guy if you get to know him and he can dish out some serious Protoss damage.  I think Nate's biggest flaw is the fact that he let me draw a penis on his car with shaving cream while he was standing at the door and he managed to not notice.  Dumbass.

7.)    This webpage and group both look really cool, but do you have to play starcraft to join? How about a Diablo chapter?

Will: Colby, just go buy the stupid game, ok?

8.)    What happened to question number 6?

Will: Shush, you.

9.)  I've noticed that TheEvaporator is often pretty cynical and sometimes just rude in posts and questions.  Why are you so mean?  Is it a personal issue?

Ian:  Wow...  I wasn't really expecting a sort of Spanish Inquisition...

Will:  Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!

10.) You're retarded.

Ian: That wasn't a question.

11.) Your page is beginning to have less and less to do with Starcraft. Plus, one of the leaders can't even play the game anymore. Why do you even bother calling it a clan page?

Ian: The clan is where we got out start. There is still some gaming humor in the page and it gives us a good background. Who cares about where we get the funny as long as we get the funny, right?

Will: I never do updates when I say I am going to.

Ian: No, you don't but that wasn't part of the question.

Will: Hey! I'm a busy guy... (kinda) and I update every now and then... and I didn't even write that!

Ian: Yeah, yeah, go cry me a river, why don't you?

12.) Wow! This new site design looks great! I'd love to meet the person who made it. Oh yeah! Also, I'm a hot chick and I want to have wild sex with whoever made this site. Lots of Wild Sex!!

Ian: I made the site. I guess I will let you have sex with me, but there are a lot of other girls who want a piece too.

Will: That wasn't really a hot chick. It was just Ian trying to make himself look good. Plus it wasn't even a question. It was just a bunch of sentences and exclamation marks.

Hot Chick: No! I really am a hot chick. Here let me bring all my friends for more wild sex!

Send your questions or comments to either:

JasterW - jasterw@roadgang.zzn.com

or

The Evaporator - evaporator@roadgang.zzn.co