|Forum|Articles|Review of Spiderman. By Anubis   Review of Spiderman I have a problem. You see, there have not been nearly enough bad movies released lately. Well sure, there was Time Machine, but even that was merely mediocre. If Spiderman had been a movie as bad as Lost in Space, or even Jurassic Park 3, I would have no trouble reviewing it. But it appears Hollywood is trying to make up for last years "Summer of Suck" by releasing movies that do not trigger the audiences gag reflex. For those of you who have been living under a rock, the plot of Spiderman. There is this nerd, Peter Parker, who gets bitten by a mutant, genetically engineered super-spider. As a result, he gets "spider powers". What does he do with these powers? At first he does the same thing any of us would do, use them to get revenge on the people who made fun of him in high school. What does he do next? The same thing most of us would have done, use his powers to get money. When his Uncle Ben is killed by a mugger, what does he do? Not use his powers to get in the sack with the female lead, which is what most anyone else would have done, oh no, he decides to become a superhero. Of course every superhero needs a villain, and in this movie it is the Hobgoblin. Or maybe it was the Green Goblin. It was definitely one of the Goblins, you know, those freaks on the flying wings that throw jack-o-lanterns and shit. Either way, he flies around, killing people and blowing stuff up, so you know that sooner or later Spiderman, being the superhero and all, is going to take him down. There was also the required B storyline, in which Parker tries to get in the sack with the next door neighbor, Mary Jane. The less said about the B plot, the better. Well is it true to the comic book? Honestly, you are asking the wrong person here. Watching the Saturday morning cartoon that FOX used to air back before they sucked is the extent of my past Spiderman experience, which does not do much more than assure I actually know the names of the characters in the movie, and in the subsequent review, I don't make up names for them like calling Mary Jane the Hot But Moronic Chick and the Green Goblin that Fucked Up Scientist. I have no doubt that within hours of its first showing, that comic book guy from the Simpsons was on the internet, proclaiming his disgust at the fact that Spiderman did not have webshooters. Most everyone else however, did not care. The actors seemed to represent the characters as well as can be expected, Peter Parker and the Hobgoblin were well within character. I suppose I should get around to mentioning the CGI. Most people groaned when they saw the early trailers for Spiderman. This was due to the fact that the CGI was pretty bad, and as a result, many people (and by many I mean me) assumed that the CGI in the whole movie was going to be crap. Unfortunately some of the sequences in the movie were as bad as the trailer, but most of them were better. A lot of the scenes of Spiderman "webslinging" are pretty stupid looking. Fortunately, there is not nearly as much Spiderman webslinging as you would think, and the rest of the effects sequences are fairly good. Before I end this, I have to point out that not once in the movie did Spiderman say "My spidy sense is tingling". In retrospect, that was probably a wise move.     Syntax Error/:|Forum|Articles|