|Forum|Articles|Tomb Raider Worst Movies of the Summer July 2 2001 at 10:51 AM Cyber Seduction I just got finished watching two of the worst movies this summer. Tomb Raider and The Animal. I emplore you to NOT watch them. My god, it's like the took the whole idea of a plot, in both these movies, and set fire to it. I mean...they both rank up there near Battlefield Earth and Ravenous. I am going to make a prediction that, in the grand tradition of 3rd installments, Jurassic Park III is gunna blow. Given what I have read I have to give the same basic review to another movie due out this summer, the remake of "Planet of The Apes". This movie, like it's jurrasic counterpart, looks like it will be saturated with a slurry of crapulance. ... Anubis July 2 2001, 7:57 PM When I read the title of your post I immidately thought "so he has seen Tomb Raider already". I too have seen it. I however knew it was going to blow. One of the cardinal rules of movies is that if they are based on videogames they must all most, but not completely suck. A few of its dumber points... The Triangle of Light... if I did not know better I would think the movie was based on Legend of Zelda First we have to put the giant swords into the holes in the floor THEN we have to wait for the exact moment of the planetary alignment THEN we have to put the key into the socket THEN a big weight will start swinging back and forth THEN we use it to smash a giant tub of green goo THEN a light will come out of it and bust open the skylight (that was in the floor. ???) THEN a blah blah blah... The windows installation instructions are less complex A mantle clock is nothing more than a few gears fastened between two metal plates but they were acting like its innards were vaster than the great pyramids of Giza with their scans and fiber optic imagers and such. They make and market a movie whose target audience is 15 year old horny computer gamers yet leave it riddled with more plot holes than Ravenous... And don't even get me started on Jurassic Park 3. The lead dinosaur is not supposed to be the velociraptor or the t-rex or whatever. The lead is something called the "spineosauris".. Is that even a real dinosaur.. I find it had to believe that someone would name a dinosaur a "spineosauris". It sounds like a monster from Power Rangers. I did not even see The Animal, the previews alone were enough to bury the needle on the suckometer. I pray that Planet of the Apes does not suck as if it does than there will be not one good movie released this summer. Cyber Seduction (no login) JP-III July 2 2001, 10:29 PM The part that sucks the most about the topic of this whole thread is that I used to be an avid Jurassic Parkian. It came out when we were in Germany and I paid 12 dollars a pop, 4 times, to see that movie. IT ROCKED!! You can imagine the high degree of hopes that were shattered when I saw The Lost World. The sadest part being that I am only going to see JP-III to be able to acurately describe it's manner and degree of "suck". Ah...the hopes and dreams of a person are once more shattered. Oh, and to answer your question, Anubis, there is no spinosaurus. Which is OK, because the Velociraptor was made up too. Being that I noticed that Micheal Crichton didn't even try to write a book on this tripe, I feel that they are suffering from the "Batman Syndrome". ei... Batman - 2 main characters - Good Plot Batman Returns - 3 main characters - iffy plot Batman Forever - 4 main characters - bad plot Batman and Robin - 6 main characters - where not even trying anymore. You can easily see that in the "Batman Syndrome"...as the plot value decreases, the ammount of characters increases accordingly...making the statement "If you can't dazzle them with plot, baffle them with bullshit". So you can see that JP-III is taking a slightly altered stance..."If you can't dazzle them with fact, baffle them fiction" This thursday I will be seeing Steven Spielberg's "A.I.". I will be subsequently critiquing it here on friday morning. Anubis (no login) 100111101010010010010010101001101010010110010010100011 July 3 2001, 10:36 AM I had hopes that AI would be half-decent but with title lines like "AI- the robot that could feel love.." I am guessing that the sap factor will be to high for me to enjoy it. I can always hope though... Cyber Seduction (no login) 01100001010110110110110101010010101101001101101011100 July 3 2001, 11:59 AM I personally feel that it will follow along the same heartwarming lines as The Sixth Sense. Which also COULD have been good.   Related Datasheets: A.I Review   Syntax Error/:|Forum|Articles|