The clans were all gathered together for what was certain to be their ultimate doom. The smell of burning flesh permeated the air; flat, metal implements were being wielded by large, plush disney creatures; in the green knife blades of foliage, sat rough ,wooden benches with white platters upon them...waiting for the imminent sacrifice. This would be one hell of a barbecue.
The goths were allowed to mingle a bit before settling at their assigned tables. The sun beat down without mercy. The napkins were yellow. The pasta salad had peas in it. Yes....certain doom awaited. And it was only going to get worse. Goofy appeared with an accordian, accompanied by a tuba playing dwarf and a xylophone wielding fantasia hippo. Ha-huh-huh! It's time to sing along!" Goofy announced, and started into the first few bars of "Skip to my Lou".
Raiyn began to bawl loudly. "It's a @%%$!! karaoke barbecue??!! What kind of %$##!! is this? " raged Angry Kitty . Lord Scrofula was desperately basting himself with sunscreen. "What the hell is this?" Deadbolt sneered yanking what looked like a stuffed bat from out of Scrofula's pallid paws. "Ahhh!! My sunscreen!" "Sunscreen? This is a frickin bat, fang boy." "No, no! That's just Vlad, my sunscreen cozy!!"
Deadbolt blinked, shook his head and decided he felt the need to do something industrial so he decided to gargle with sand. Meanwhile the disnay characters were making their rounds having the goths "sing along". Only after they sang a song would they get any food.
Doomboy sang an evilly rousing rendition of "When you wish upon a star", all the while twisted a plastic spoon into shapes that even corkscrews would be envious of. Ankh sang a lovely version of "A Whole New World" in Ancient Hittite, then Greek, then Sanskrit.
Amaranthia begrudgingly half whispered a song from Cinderella, only to attract multi colored disney birds....
a couple of which left some sticky blobs of day glo poop in her hair.
Lord Scrofula had to replace his fangs seven times during his solo of supercalifragilisticexpealidocious.
Raiyn and Gothicknight sobbed out a duet of "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands".
Deadbolt refused to sing, and instead busied himself with munching on lighted
pieces of charcoal and removing the screws from the picnic tables.
DJ Rancor sang the Mickey Mouse themesong Front 242 style.
Blackhole also refused to sing - he busied himself with breathing in charcoal smoke
and trying to gouge musical notes into his stomach with a pink plastic spork.
The music continued even as the karaoke torture had finished. The goths endured over an hour of accordian madness and tuba insanity while burgers, fries, potato salad and cake was served.
Doomboy was grumbling "How the heck do they get this all food shaped like Mickey heads?" when
Donald Duck quacked happily over to the table wearing potholders and bearing a large plate full of buttered Mickey head corncobs. Doomboy's mouth dropped open and his eyes froze in horror.
"Duckholders..." hissed Doomboy. "DUCKHOLDERS!!!!" His voice elevated to a scream and he lept up onto the table brandishing his rusty railroad spike. "Foul duckholders! Come to annihilate me! Following me again aren't you?!! Web footed heat protectors from hell!! I won't submit to your mind warping nursery rhymes! My spleen is mine!! I will be avenged of this wretched duckholder atrocity!!!"
The entire picnic stared dumbfounded at him. Donald quacked questioningly and tried to hug Doomboy. "NO!! Stay back with your waterfowl ridden mitts of certain death! Why should I listen to you? You don't even speak english!!!" It took much coaxing and bribery to end the Donald Duck standoff. Doomboy was finally bribed to come down from the table by being allowed to play with the charcoal fire.