The Barometer of Goth
Well, look at you, visiting my Goth test page and seeking acceptance from a program to tell you just how GOTH you really are. MUHaahAHAHAHAAAAAAaaaaa!!! Go ahead...be a party to the following cruel and vaguely humorous examination. I'll be over here, ready to hand you a black kleenex when it's over.

Let the interrogation begin!
1. What material is the most GOTH?

Velvet
Leather
Vinyl
Black
Fishnet

2. What's the first thing you do in the morning?

Go back to sleep
What's that?
Don't you mean, MOURNING?
Burst into flames
That's when I'm getting home from the club, you silly.
3. If my life were a song title, it would be:

I'm only happy when it rains (Garbage)
When it's cold I'd like to die (Moby)
Love Will Tear Us Apart (Joy Division)
Oh My Goth (Razed In Black)
No Time to Cry (Sisters)
4. Choose from the following colors:

Black
Black
Black
Black
Black
5. Choose the best line of bad poetry:

My spleen bleeds for you, behold my undying love...
Sorrow, sorrow, sorrow
Darkness and Death makes everything so dark...and dead.
See spot. See spot whiz on the black roses.
The blackness envelops me...like a cloak from hot topic.
6. Which of the following bands is the most goth:

Bauhaus
Sisters of Mercy
N'Sync
The Cure
Switchblade Symphony
7. Most gothic food?

Red wine
Black licorice
Raw bloody meat
Twinkies
Expresso
8. If you could choose your untimely demise, you would prefer:

Being trampled by an army of black hamsters
Being smothered by dead flowers
Being burnt at the stake
Languishing and wasting away from sorrow
All of the above
9. The Gothic adjective that best describes me is:

Black
Mysterious
Dead
Vampiric
But I'm not goth
10. I would prefer to hang out:

At a Goth/Industrial club
Locked in the darkness of my own room
In a graveyard
At a 24-7 coffee house
At Hot Topic
11. Is this a trick question?

Yes
No
Black
Oh look. A disembodied head.
Not if your going to wave that pickle at me.
12. Do you believe in witches?

Well, that certainly explains my 3rd grade teacher.
What DO you think I was burnt for in 1455?!!
No.
Hold on, I have to park my broom.
SANDwiches...yes.
13. This is the thirteenth question. Do you find it spooky?

No, well maybe.
Yes.
Stop staring at me like that.
What was the question?
Black
14. Which of the following is the most GOTHIC thing to be:

a bat
a black cat
dead
a skull
Robert Smith
15. If you were on a bus, and Britney Spears
asked to borrow some eyeliner, you would:

Puke
Make her over so you could stop staring at her god-awful barbie face
Apply the eyeliner pencil to her EYEBALL
Shout REPENT, THE DEVIL HAS MANIFESTED
Wonder why the hell you're stuck on a bus with Britney Spears
16. What do you want to be when you grow up?

An Undertaker
Immortal
Robert Smith
More Goth than you
Black
17. Most gothic PET:

bat
black cat
skull
Robert Smith
a paper trained gothling
18. Please select the correct string of words:

Octopus, tantrum, wombat
Morbid, oculinctus, funereal
Formaldahyde, Thanatos, eviscerate
Ectoplasm, hydrogenated, tincture
Dyspepsia, scrofula, Absinthe
19. Are we there yet?

Don't make me turn this car around
Don't make me turn this coffin around
No. Now sit down and finish draining your victim.
Bad little children have to wear yellow. Now be quiet.
No. Be a good little minion and shush.
20. Which statement is true:

You can never have too many skulls lying around.
Wow, she looks better in that dress than me.
I want to be an individual.
Monkeys might fly out of my butt. (I always wanted flying monkeys)
It's dark in here.
21. Most people describe me as:

Pretentious, snobby, and preoccupied with my appearance
Dark, spooky and...well, spooky.
Dead
Looking very much like a cat
Poetic, Artistic, Mysterious
22. My hair color is: (choose the closest color)

Black
Blonde
Fire Engine Red
Purple, Blue, Green, and/or Hot Pink
I honestly don't remember
23. My idea of a romantic evening is:

Watching the moon rise.
Having a candlelight dinner.
Reading my lover really bad dark poetry.
Meowing and clawing at my date.
Staring at myself in the mirror
24. Are you in pain?

Yes.
No, but I'd like to be.
What kind would you suggest? (wink wink nudge nudge)
Only when I listen to country music.
What was that again? I was screaming so much I didn't hear you.
25. Select the most GOTH of the following objects:

Black playdoh
An ankh
ME
Skull
Robert Smith


Behold your gothnicity:

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