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Bogotá by Night: Reinado de Máscaras

Humor: Clan Weaknesses

Supongo que ya todo mundo lo ha leido pero sigue siendo genial, no tiene traducción simplemente porque no le hallamos la forma de traducirlo y que siguiera siendo igual de divertido.

Equipo BbN.

Ventrue:
Okay folks. We have another problem. The "kids" want to know how we tell each other apart...what makes us unique.
Toreador:
That's easy... we are all unique... special... beautiful in our own way we --
Brujah:
Shut the hell up. He means like what separates CLANS, you pantywaste.
Malk:
Never waste panties...Too hard to find this time of year.
Ventrue:
Yes, Brujah. What makes us... fit into a Category. What makes us. CLAN.
Brujah:
Yeah..just another way for the "man" to keep an eye on us.
Malk:
What man?
Brujah:
Shut up before I mash you, kook.
Ventrue:
::sighs:: Any suggestions?
Toreador:
Signature Clothing?
Tremere:
Necklaces? Mystical pendants?
Malk:
Cheese... Different Cheeses assigned to each clan. There are different types to chose from you know?
Brujah:
::looks to Nosferatu:: Yeah..lemme guess who Limburger is....
Nos:
I heard that.
Ventrue:
I was thinking more along the lines... of a weakness... a.. subtle flaw.
Malk:
I call Kryptonite!!!
Brujah:
::smashes him on the head:: Must have a Kyrptonite fist. SHUT UP.
Malk:
unnrk.
Ventrue:
Okay...Brujah... your's will be your temper. For obvious reasons.
Brujah:
TEMPER? WHAT TEMPER? .....fricking suits....You'd be pissed too if you had to sit next to Nos and Malk.
Ventrue:
::coughs:: Torrie, since you love art... you will be known as the artist clan.
Toreador:
Tragic... yet... beautiful. Agreed.
Malk:
::small voice:: I still want Kryptonite.
Brujah:
::SMACK:: Hehe. Temper... okay. Cool.
Malk:
Unnnggh.
Nos:
::Scratches his chin causing skin to flake off:: And my... flaw?
Silence
Ventrue:
::shivers:: We'll get back to you. Gangrel. Your's will be... everytime you frenzy... you look more like an animal.
Gangrel:
WHAT? What do you mean "You look more like an animal??"
Ventrue:
It starts of small...you know... fur... deep voice... maybe horns....
Gangrel:
WHAT??? Oh COME on... Torrie gets to moon over stupid drawings and I get a fricking BEAK? Yeah...that's REAL fair...::grumbles into a growl::
Assamite:
And I?
Tremere:
You can't drink kindred blood. ::laughs:: It's poison. Your hair falls out and you look like him. ::points to Nos::
Ventrue:
Agreed.
Nos:
Still waiting.
silence, Malk giggles
Assamite:
Why does TREMERE get to pick my weakness?
Tremere:
Lump it, pal.
Ventrue:
Tremere... if Assamite can't drink kindred blood... then you have to drink from... all of your elders.
Malk:
No one got Kryptonite?
Brujah:
::BAP:: Temper. LOVE it.
Ventrue:
Lasombra....hmm...no reflection.
Lasombra:
You should give THAT to Nos.....
Nos:
Still waiting...
Ventrue:
::coughs:: Be right with you, Nos.....Is that acceptable, Lasombra?
Lasombra:
Yeah....but you guys have to tell me when I have something on my chin.
Ventrue:
No problem. ... Hmmm... Tzim... You're weakness... will be...
Malk:
Having a clan name no one can say or spell?
Ventrue:
Yes. Err.. No. You... must sleep... in your native soil... or have some in your coffin... Gangrel:
WHAT??? I get WEBBED TOES and she has to sleep in DIRT??
Tzim:
Agreed.
Gangrel:
I want a new one.....
Nos:
Still waiting.....have you forgotten me?
Silence
Ventrue:
Moving right along.... Giovanni... Your Kiss hurts... no pleasure in your bite.
Toreador:
You can say THAT again....
Room looks to Torrie
Toreador:
Oh..sorry... was that out loud?
Gio:
One off-night... plagues you for your unlife...
Ventrue:
Ravnos. You are a criminal by nature.
Ravnos:
::gives back Ventrue's wallet:: Sorry.
Ventrue:
::blinks, taking it:: Um...no. I meant... ::shakes head:: Oookay. The money too...
Ravnos:
Oh... here... sorry.
Nos:
When do I get one?
Brujah:
At birth...
Stifled Laughter
Ventrue:
Ahem... You over there... Setite...your's is... you don't like the light...
Gangrel:
OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?? I get a set of BAT wings and he doesn't like bright lights??
Malk:
Fly my little monkeys... Fllllyyyyy...
Brujah:
::raises hand and Malk winces::
Set:
::grins:: Agreed... fair and just. ::winks::
Gangrel:
::points:: He WINKED!! You two had A DEAL SET UP?? .....GodDAMN snakes......
Nos:
If you continue ignoring me... I will get UGLY.
Malk:
Too late...
Stifled laughter
Ventrue:
Am I missing anyone?
Malk:
Do I get Kryptonite?
Tzim:
You, little man, have ENOUGH problems... you don't need an additional flaw.
Ventrue:
Then it is settled....
Nos:
You have forgotten yourself....and I.
Brujah:
Yeah. Mr.Picky. What is YOUR flaw.
Ventrue:
::smiles:: I am Picky... about ...what I eat....
Gangrel:
::stands up throwing chair back:: I am LEAVING!! ::pointing around the room:: I get udders like a fucking COW and YOU get to sleep in DIRT? YOU are a fussy eater? YOU get to look at art... YOU... ::finger stops on Nos:: ... Okay... I guess it could be worse.
Nos:
I get it. I am the unflawed clan... gotcha.
Brujah:
::laughs:: Yup. that's it.
Ventrue:
::coughs:: Meeting Adjourned.
Malk, leaving (very quietly singing)
You... oogly... you oogly... and yer mama dresses you foooney... you oogly... you oogly...