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09/19/03 -supplimental What a stupid show. Sami breaks into a outdoor vault with her shoe, SwellBreasts knows abe will die at noon and everybody leaves him all alone to get shot, especially Bo who acknowleges he is in danger and can't wait for five minutes and go with Abe to the christening. Sigh. How many times has this 'everybody has a motive' murder been done anyway? Lets examine the motives: Sami : Sami hates Abe because he won't tell her Brandons phone number. Great motive! She and Abe have always been close up until now Kate : Just like half the town, Abe knows that Kate was a nasty old hooker. Why Abe is going to tell now is anybodys guess Lucass : Nobody tells the truth about MY MOTHER! Rex : Uhh... Abe suspects him of something. Tony : Uhhh. Not sure why he would be this stupid. Nicole : Best way to get off the hook for one murder is to commit another, the police commander. Brilliant. Her character is so ruined. Victor : Nicole will turn him in for blackmail... Wait, spouses can't testify against one another... Hmmm. He got hit with the stupid stick too. Now I think Cassie is involved and we know the killer is a chick or Reillys Lizzie Borden forshadowing is a nother stupid DOOL inconsistency. Well anyway, who wants to watch a show where all the characters are capable of murder for no good reason. 09/15/03 Bad Bad Bad. I can barely watch. The only good thing is that Alice and the older folks are getting more airtime. If I were Tom, I would go haunt club Echelon rather than Alices. Ok Adriennes accent is fading in and out and who wants to look at her cleavage anyway? I will never figure out why they brought her back. Aren't Shawn and Rex roommates? What stupidity! Are they like that Fox and Sheepdog that clock in and out and are all civil when the Fox is not doing his 8-5 chasing the sheep. Sheesh! Mornin Rex... Mornin Shawn.. Then the whistle blows.... They hold a mock trial and Shawn starts kicking helpless lawn furniture. What an idiot. Meanwhile, Vic and Nicole are still where they were 2 years ago, and Brady is wandering around without a shirt on dripping wet as the show relies more on showing cleavage and pecs as the quality of the writing continues to go south. Well, thats all I could stand for the last two weeks. Sorry. 09/03/03 Great Horney Toads! Adrienne hasn't gotten any better looking over the years and now she smokes and has a southern accent (which means she is stupid in soapland) and she must have killed Mimi's brother Conner and stuffed him in the closet because there is no mention of him. Jimmy Carter made another one of his well intentioned blunders when he built a house for that nasty old bat. Now if Jack and Abe die we will have three single mothers on the show. Good idea reilly! Maybe all three of them can have affairs with mickey. Alright Tom has been floating around for two days now and he finally speaks ... 'abe'. Good thing they explained that he is the harbinger of death and would speak the name of the person to die, or Abe would have thought he was saying hello. I liked how everybody thought Alice had gone around the bend. Bo and Hope are broke AGAIN?!?! Just last week Hope was back in the big money. For petes sake they are stupid! I was saving to buy you a pair of boots. Well, trade in your freaken MERCEDES and super custom BountyMobile for a corolla. Hope never needs to leave the house since she bought that donut maker. Do you think if Shawn actually lives across the hall from Belle he might someday 'inspect her melons'. Doubt it! For crying out loud John gives disgusting Sami a job when she is virtually unemployable anywhere else and she starts on another vendetta. I don't remember her hating John, at least not in the last how many years. Oh fine, If Tom can come back from the dead, Sami hates john. Thanks a lot for the job. Well, I am a little curious about the serial killer. The Lizzie Borden reference makes it seem like it will be a chick. Maybe its Cassie using her 'special abilities' finally. Well, its month six on 'slut watch' and she is still a virgin. Ok, fine. Jack needs the help of the fab 5. His hair is out of control and his wardrobe is weird. 08/25/03 Well, I am essentially quitting watching for a while, but I did tune in today to see donut head in her inane turban : "Hey Bo? Wanna Plunder my treasure chest or take a bite of my pirates booty?" Some bad acting when Bo walks into her bedroom, says "Hope?" then 5 seconds go by, she screams and almost hits him over the head. Dumb. I really thought the show couldn't get any more heavy handed, but Reilly is doing a 180 on just about everything. Ask yourself the point of watching for the last year and you may find yourself tuning out like moi. Donut Heads trust fund is back, the bounty hunter business is toast. Sami and Lucass hate each other, and the piece de resistance : Sami is getting a job at Basic Black working for Kate. Come F***ing ON reilly! Nobody would hire that one dimensional scheming hell-hag and HornLena fires her from the hospital as the no account stupid receptionist and now she is harping on John to hire her as some sort of highly paid fashion executive. Bloody HELL!!! I knew something was wrong when I watched 5 minutes the other day and Trailer Trash Sami is sipping Cognac. The girl never finished high school and the writers know this because Lucass pointed it out recently. Well, this show is rapidly going the way of Passions where Sheridan has been locked in a basement for 6 months by a lunatic nurse in a clown suit and her sidekick the chimpanzee. What are the qualifications to be head writer anyway? Probably the same ones that Sami has. No diploma, stubborn, stupid, monotonous, and rude. Lets get a new writer in 6 months again Ken and do more 180 plot flips. Idiots! I would like the show a lot better if it was like the Osbornes and a camera just followed Cassie around all day in that little bikini. Looks like Nicole is reillys Sheridan a lot of close calls, but she will never get away and pretty soon Victor will trade Nico in for his own chimp. The one good thing is Tony is being written pretty well. I still like him although with reilly at the helm he could start swinging from a vine, and have sex with Alice Horton any day now. 08/20/03 Didn't you know it, Donut Head is not really dead, she just acts that way. Now she has a hole in her head that the doctor drilled so Bo can fill her head with custard or raspberry jelly. Just like Bo to blame Tony with no proof and the guy was in a coma for gods sake, and ... well... You did blow up his cave you idiot. I hate the Bradys. Lets talk about Shawn who went to the Chloe Lane acting school. He breaks into rex's room (only a week or two ago rex said that security could keep anybody off the premises) breaks into his computer and then threatens to beat him up. Ehh... He is an a-hole. Then Phil is once again overcome by Belles wet t-shirt and he plants one on her and Belle is all hot for it this time. I guess she is wising up to the fact that Shawn would jump off a bridge before he would touch her zipper. Other Bradys, well disgusting Sami comes to mind. Eugenia, who Sami was blackmailing, is fired out of hand from the hospital but Sami gets a board meeting tribunal? Ok fine. Then she expresses remorse and five minutes later is eavesdropping from behind the potted plant (I thought Chloe quit). Well, Sami would be funny if this hasn't gone on for like 12 years and the Horny one was going to let her slide even though Eugenia was canned. OK fine. Bo is also an idiot. From the previews, it looks like the Brady-Dimera feud is on due to Bo's assholiness. What did Tony ever do to these buttholes? Well, it looks like Ashford knows he is getting canned. He kept talking over people and mumbling today. With him gone, Jenn will become the next Grunta von Hamhock hanging out in the breeze until she is mercifully canned also. Oh and one thing that really pisses me off is the line about Mimis dad taking off a long time ago. What!!! What was the point of the whole Habitat for Humanity storyline. I bet Jimmy Carter is mighty pissed off that he built a house for somebody who didn't exist. What guarantee do we have that NBC won't just change around any of the stories we are watching now. Whats the damn point of watching them then. Its like the stupid who's the daddy thing where we all vote for John or Steffie and then NBC makes Bo the father. Thanks a whole bunch, I can't wait to vote in your next poll bungholio! Then to make things worse they are bringing back Adrienne to be the mom of the meem. I hated her! She was worse than donut head and thats damn hard to be. I was hoping Reilly would do something funny and focus on HornLena again, but it looks like we are stuck with the teens and stupid Bo and Hope. Sigh... 08/11/03 Can you tell Reilly is writing? I sure can't. The fashion show was kind of stupid, but the actors seemed to be having fun or maybe they were happy because Bo and Hope were going to get their clocks cleaned. Serves them right for blundering on to an Indian reservation and blowing it to smithereens. With Reilly writing you can bet that Rex is innocent and some ancestral spirit god is responsible for Bo and donut head's commuppance. Oh Shawn is so awful, he is almost in the same league as Austin Peck. 'Who did this to my parents... Oh, I'll make you pay and pay... Oh Belle, I've been dating you for three years and have never gotten your shirt off...'. He sucks! Then they need a towel and all the men take their shirts off... I think Lexie's bikini top would have been more absorbant. Then POOF! the Salem PD cares about Colins death and Abe can only pay attention to one case at a time apparently which makes it asinine for him to be police commander. More like Ass Commander. Also from the reality file, the meem is conspicuously missing from the fashion show while Belles mortal enemy Cassie gets an invite and looked mighty fine in that daisy mae swimsuit that looked about 3 sizes too small for her. I thought it was pretty pathetic how they had a crotch cam for the younger actors, but would only show Marlena from the neck up unless she was at least 15 feet from the camera. Either do something with Nicole or can her, I can't stand it anymore and Brady is really starting to bother me. Hahaha Sami actually used that stupid foosball table in her apt today. Lets count hands... How many of you own a foosball table? Alright, this indian goop story was obnoxious. Tony and Maya had the latitude and longitude of the reservation between them AND THEY HAD CREE's PHONE NUMBER for GODS SAKE! I would guess it should take a billionare about 5 minutes to find the cave given a latitude or longitude and the friggin area code, but no DONUT HEAD finds the damn thing then Bo decides to blow the whole place to hell and good old Alice will cut a check to cover the damage. Well, I bet the Crees would rather have an energy well on their 'Rez' than a stupid clinic that they have to pay to use. How did Tom get so damn rich anyway? He was an MD, not the inventor of the internet. My new theory is that Alice ripped off Hopes trust fund and put it all in the Horton Foundation. Thats the only way to explain how Alice lost all Hope's money and none of her own. 08/05/03 Good grief! Where did Nicole get that bikini? Needless to say, her past as a pornstar gave her plenty of practice shaving those 'sensitive areas'. I guess Brady gets to rescue Misty Circle this time. How original is that. He is a dork. College dropout record producer, owner of a nightclub. COME ON! Oh well, Speaking of bikinis check out Sami! Yikes! Just what the heck is going on up top? I don't want to know. That suit was wierd. Meanwhile, donut head manages to find the goop with absolutely none of the info that Tony, Maya, Bo, and the ISA had. How did she do it? We will never know. At least the reign of Higster is over. Jack is a prophet as he laments on what a stupid piece of crap 'in the arse' is and wishes they could do something meaningful. This on the day following the announcement that Ashford got canned. Well, J&J really sucked this time out, too bad for Ashford who is a pretty talented guy, but then so is James Reynolds. Imagine being talked into coming back after being canned, being handed the Jack is gay storyline followed by 'in the arse'. Sigh... The poor man. Then they can his ass. Why they are keeping Reeves is beyond me. Thats like firing Johnny Carson and keeping Ed. Well, I have to disagree with Kelly, I like Belles new haircolor. I think it really brings out her eyes nicely. My SO who doesn't watch the show wandered by today and said 'Belle is starting to be shaped like one'. I guess meaning her stomach and butt are a little less than runway quality. Maybe she should ask the meem for some dieting tips. I like this new Phil a lot better than the clumsy wimp Phil or the gambling addict Phil. He has some backbone. Shawn is a joke. Can him! Meanwhile if Hornlena had any idea how much Mimi is getting she would have to start cracking the whip around the penthouse. I just can't care about the twins parentage. How stupid is it that Kate got dragged into all that. Like old Fatty wants the mother of his uberkind to be a dumpster diving old ex hooker whose other offspring include the stupedest person alive, Asstin, another hooker and ex-junkie Billie, Foulup Kuriakis, and alcoholic ninny Lucass. Speaking of Phil, I thought he had to get a crewcut since the ISA canned him. He even said so himself. Gah! Well, are you looking forward to the 'fashion' show. I thought so. 07/28/03 How can such a heavy handed show be like taking a whole bottle of Sominex at the same time. That is except for the fact that Belle's tight shirt of the week has hypnotic horizontal stripes on it and as they bounce gently up and down my head starts swaying like the snake in Jungle Book. Even Phillip can't resist them and he jumps her, having totally gotten over being kicked out of the Incompetent Stupid Ahole spy franchise. You thought you had seen the end of porn star Misty Circle. I wish they would put that mess out of its misery as abruptly as they made Sexie a doctor again. I guess all you have to do is turn up and put on a smock and *POOF* you have malpractice insurance and a contract. Sexie does look good in her smock though. (Yeah, I know its a surgical gown, I just like saying 'smock'). Poor granma Alice, first she gets a mooching raid by Donut Head, then Kate of all people drags her over to Belles where when she is not uttering her lines she sits there with her mouth hanging wide open and its not for the same reason as Philip and me. Ok, Belle is a fashion designer, and Shawn has been offered Mick Gaggers practice. I guess nobody will be getting a degree which kind of levels the playing field for people like Horton Foundation BOARD MEMBER Donut Head who didn't finish high school. At least Basic Black has finally amounted to something! How long ago did it start? One year or two? I guess it did save Kate from dumpster diving which reminds me as she is going on about how corn dogs are disgusting of the scene where she scarfs down a half eaten burger from the trash. Ok, this Sami Lucas Tony thing is so heavy handed it is painful to watch. First Tony befrends Sami, then sets her up with the DNA switch and shoves her through a window, two weeks later they are dating. Ok Higster. Then there is Lucass. What could he possibly see in her? Its not like she is wearing a horizontal striped shirt from Baby Gap. Poor tony, drowned and clinically dead, miraculously revived, and then stabbed and in a coma all within two weeks. You can't accuse Higster of drawing out plots. Hey, what plots? I heard a rumour that Higster got to be headwriter by promising to do cheap ass stories with few sets and special effects. That explains the use of that stupid sauna for Donut Sex, business meetings, kidnapping ransom drops, and also that cheap ass boat explosion. Notare Bene, I have added DELETETHIS to my e-mail address as I am getting spammed to death. Write and say hi, after first deleting DELETETHIS. 07/21/03 (cue james brown)... This is a Baaaaaad Show! This is a Baaaaaaaad show. The theme for this week is "whats the damn point". Bo takes dunkin donut to the hospital roof and procedes to talk about the stupid goop until she rips him a new one. Five minutes of romance pass, then he's telling her he is not letting her help investigate the goop. What a romantic fool. Riddle me this... Is there a bounty on the goop. Do you win a prize if you find out what it is. No? Then why the hell are broke Bo and Hope investigating it. Meanwhile Hope is also working for the Horton foundation which managed not to go broke like Hopes trust fund. How realistic is it that Hope finds out she is broke and she doesn't rip into Alice. "Why you bumbling OLD HAG!!! I know you thought the pets.com sock puppet was cute, but ALL MY @#$@#^ MONEY!!!". Meanwhile Alice is rich as ever. Ok, back to earth. What is the POINT of investigating the goop. Did Bo even meet Beercan Chicken? What was the POINT of Lucass drinking if it didn't cause anything to happen. Another week has gone by and Cassie the gorgeous horny nympho still hasn't gotten any. WHAT IS THE POINT OF BEING A NYMPHO IF YOU NEVER GET ANY??? Speaking of which, ole Hornlena is about to get some in the park. Right! What was the POINT of that stupid bicentennial? What is the POINT of larry shooting and missing twice and then driving off a cliff. This is a bad and boring show! Lucass sure does better at bars than I ever did. That was a pretty foxy extra chick and she's all "want to come over to my place and see my breasts?" and Lucass is all "Nahhh... I like it better here at the cheatin heart, hey maybe I'll call Maggie" and the chick is all "Did you know I have TWO of them?". Yeah, what was the POINT of all that? 07/14/03 The Meem is the new Marlena as she and Rex stay up all night playing hide the genetically engineered salami and then they go at it again in the shower and if that Rex actor guy did'nt get wood in that shower he needs weights for his loafers. I have the same showerhead as in Steffies mansion! Cool! Do you want to hear my new theory about front burner Meem? See, Kirsten Storms probably signed some sort of morality clause in her contract with Disney which forbids her from getting any 'Brady Pube' on screen. Thats why 'Horney Belle' was dropped and she now has a promise ring. Poor Walt probably took a turn in his grave when Shawn was down south reading her panties and then managed to poke her breast with his nose on the way back up to laugh at her. Speaking of horney idiots, Donut Head is giving Bo a finger BJ right out in public. That was wierd. Even wierder was how she gave her half finished breakfast to Shawn and ordered another for herself. Then Zack vanishes, can't they even watch their kid when they are eating out. No, poor Caroline who is probably busy washing dishes in the kitchen gets him. Oh well, the kid actor probably just won't shut up or something, but it really makes Bo and Hope look like assholes. My pet name for in the house is 'in the arse' and nobody does it like heavy handed Higley. They have on a sex therapist and throw her off the show because their research indicates she is not a doctor, then they sit and complain about how she got on the show in the first place. Ehhh!!! Did they do their 'research' during a commercial break. Stupid idiot Higley! In the arse is bad enough without continuity problems. Oh, and when 'Tek' and ISA Phil tell Shawn to go off and capture the Beercan Chicken I am all WHAT? and now John is chewing out Philip for involving a civilian GOOD GRIEF! and theres Tink in her tight fitting 'Saved by the Bell(e)' shirt reminding us that the show could be worse, we could be back at Salem High chanting 'Ghoul Girl Stinks!' and 'Gigantor... Gigantor...' Those were the days. Speaking of continuity and writing errors, smuggling diamonds is 'too penny ante' for the DumbErrors, but owning club Echelon is not. PUHlease! Whats in the vial of goop? Well, I hope they didn't scrape it off the sheets of Princess Gina's rent-a-sub! Whatever it is, I don't want to know! Higley is actually tackling incest head on, so to speak and Lucas got to see Cassies 'assie' before Rex barged in. Well, if they keep making more and more of the characters related to one another pretty soon they will have no choice. Rex and Cassie are essentially related either legally or by blood to the whole darn town and cassies all depressed because she can't act slutty to any of the male characters anymore. Meanwhile she is still working at Echelon and STILL HASN'T GOTTEN LAID! Where the heck is HornLena anyway, she turns up for 5 minutes when we think (hope) John is dead and then 'poof!' she is gone. I guess she is with the penthouse poolboy making sure the diving board is safe to jump on. It sucks that Abe is being fired and rumors are swirling about Vic as well. Good grief, can't you be an old impotent pruney crab on a soap anymore without getting canned. I hope they keep Sami mute for a couple of years. She is much better that way. I think the Lucas Sami pairing is too 'heavy handed'. There is just no way! Maybe Lucass is just using her so he can get at the foosball table in her apartment. Ok, two weeks have gone by and Maya still acts like a beercan chicken! Outshone only by the fantastic acting ability of Shawn who I used to like for some reason. There are a lot of people on daytime who are only acting like themselves, if they stretch a bit they fall flat on their personal trainer enhanced butts. Maya is so bad she almost reminds me of Princess Gina. Shawn looks like an idiot dressed up in that suit and he acts like one too. Spare me. Meanwhile Donut head goes from crack whore to Echelon 'hostess' and why do they only chase people who give Hope an excuse to act like a hooker. She's too damn old IMHO and looked totally out of place around the other 'hostesses'. How did she know how to find Bo anyway. Maybe the same way John knew there was a bomb in the fruit basket but DIDN'T KNOW WHO SENT IT???!!!? The same way Cassie is working at Echelon and STILL HASN'T GOTTEN LAID. Thats why we call her Heavy Handed Higley. Bring Reilly on, he is an idiot too, but his continuity is better and maybe we will get to see more of HornLena. I would love it if Cassie goes to her for advice about nymphomania. That would be a classic Marlena Moment. "Well Cassie, theres nothing wrong with wanting sex all the time, its perfectly normal. Oh MY!!! Gasp, I'm late for my lunch date with John, I'm just not the same if I don't have a 'nooner'. Speaking of heavyhandedness, what clod hears a gunshot, spins around and falls in a swimming pool hitting their head? What a waste of time! I like Larry, but he has become sort of stupid. Fine, Cassie is some sort of genetically engineered superslut who goes after men who only want one thing with a vengance for three months and STILL HASN'T GOTTEN ANY? Only in heavy handed higleyland. When things that are so stupid and unrealistic happen, I find it entertaining to invent funny reasons why things are the way they are. In Cassies case, the only thing I can come up with is it smells like 6 month old fish tacos south of the border if you catch my drift. Even so... It still seems a bit unrealistic, thats why god created clothespins. OK. I'm not watching much but I guess donuthead has a new donutmobile and its a huge SUV. Well fine. I guess they can use whats left of the old trust fund to buy their first tank of gas. Whats the big deal with Belle getting her own place, she lived by herself in the dorms for a year, and isn't it predictable that shawn would throw a little hiss-fit? He has become such a doorknob in the last couple of years. Meanwhile I just don't get this new blockhead Phillip who is some sort of Navy Seal after going to boot camp for a couple of months. If he was so well trained, he would be able to find a clue. Ah well, who bets Vic has the drop on Nicole. After all she is supposed to be under surveillance. Sigh.... 06/12/03 OK, Higster has gone from bad drama to bad comedy mode this week. From her heavy handed hit on the Meem to weekend at barties, this week has been wierd. Topping it all off is the screaming ghoul and I was planning on watching her farewell show to gloat, but she is just too unbearable, leaving like she arrived, an obnoxious selfish goofus with the personality of a box of rocks. On the plus side the chick factor is getting better. Although this new Maya character acts like she has the Empire State Building up her butt, she is awfully cute. I'm willing to give her a couple of weeks to start acting human. Heres a funny rumor, Alice invested Hopes trust fund in telecomm and energy stocks and Hope is broke... Hahahahaha! They have to sell the Funky Face to pay for their new heavy handed bounty hunter business. Well Cajun? Aren't you happy now? Hope is working and her stupid trust fund is toast. It would make me really happy if she climbed in the freezer with Rolf. Speaking of Rolf, no great loss. He still reminds me of the Princess Gina era. The worst period in history for a very bad show. Nicole and Cassie are turning into Langan era sluts and Scary Belch is back. I like him. 06/06/03 Wanna check out my melons? Hahahaha thats funny donut head and did she steal that tiny motorcycle from some five year old. The seat came up to the ag agents kneecap. When she told Ramrod that if it was up to her he would be dead already, I thought that if it was up to Alice, Doug and Julie, and Shawn and Caroline they are probably thinking the same thing after baby sitting for a solid month. What a couple of bungholes, with a two year old child, both parents are risking their lives when they could just drop ramrod off at the nearest police station. Ok, I am lost. Why would it benefit Lexie and Tony to set Sami up with such a STUPID idea. What if Sami hadn't switched the file, they would have been all... Duhhhh... What do either of them have to gain from doing that and Abe is so out of character defending Lexies conniving. Heavy Handed Higly strikes again. Looks like the geek went on a diet for her new career move whatever that is. Dime store wooden indian, monolith for the 2001 sequel, cinderblock... what? Speaking of heavy handed, Sami gets her comeuppance and then gets hurt and everybody feels sorry for her. Oh fine. For five minutes everybody is wondering how she ever gets a job or why anyone would even talk to her and the next they are all crying and hoping she is OK. Great Higster. Since Hope can tie a cherry stem in a knot in 10 seconds she must give great .... which explains why Bo tolerates her obnoxious a** I guess. What a stupid and gross scene that was. The agent is so bowled over by Hope on her tyke bike that he lets a car who admitted bringing illegal drugs in leave so he can spend ten more seconds with Hope before she speeds off on her Big Wheel like Officer Cartman. When they become bounty hunters I guess she will beat suspects on the kneecaps with a nightstick or else show them her melons. Gawd! Meanwhile, can anybody believe that Rex is related to the imbecile Stump? And where has Cassie been, the show would be much better if she was on every damn day like Hope and Charlotte Lurch. 05/27/03 - Shawn? is that your mother on the cover of Crack Whore magazine? What was donut head doing wearing that white blouse that could have belonged to Cher. She looked like a bloody battleship the way the buttons were straining. Then she shifts to an equally wierd outfit from the grocery store bargan rack. I loved the sign. Womens Clothes size 2 to size 20. Just when I think the show can't get any dumber, Shawn beans the mayor who is out in the harbor on a boat hundreds of yards away with a baseball. I bet the writers refer to this as the Mayor McCheese storyline. I'm sure the marines have people roaming the streets prying open crates. I can't imagine the Marine Corps has jurisdiction in downtown Salem, but I'm sure 'Heavy Handed Higly' will have a stupid explanation for it all, or else Higley is just Tom Langan in drag. That would be funny if Ken Corday yanks off her wig and exposes him on the set. "Aha! I knew I recognized these stinky heavy handed plots that don't make any sense!'. What should have been a dramatic moment that we have waited years for a payoff for, Branflakes paternity, is bumbled badly and looks like we have another father son sexfest. That really sounds like something Langan would do. I can't wait for the grandfather-grandson when Brady shows Nicole his 'Incredible Hulk action figure'. Oh, its not all bad, that idiotic geek is leaving. YAY!!! 05/20/03 - Gak! The geek is all recovered and back to singing. Ohhh my head. Don't quit your day job geekly! Another character with great lungs is Belle, holy crap! Not much left to the imagination today. She was hanging out worse than Sami usually does. OK, that idiot Phil joins the Marines and his first mission is to go on reality television, then to wander around the docks with an automatic weapon in his dress uniform? OK. Maybe Higly is the idiot responsible for how bad the writing has been in the last few years. This stuff with Bo is just childishly stupid. Dum..De.Dum 'Ill show them how tough I am by drinking two raw eggs'. I hope the moron gets salmonella. He sure didn't have to look too hard to get a lead on ole Vin Ramjet. Then theres the whole thing with donut head. 'Oh Bo... It doesn't matter that you quit your job when your salary barely pays the mortgage and we have a two year old to care for and a son in college who hasn't got a job... I support you... We have my TRUST FUND'. @#$%@$%! Get a damn job Hope, you've been blathering about it for 6 months and have yet to lift a finger, not that you have any time to care for your child. Ok, I'm willing to accept the fact that Jen has forgiven donut head and made her matron of honor, but the scenes where Hope is over at 'the house' blathering on really make her seem like a third wheel and who would get married on TV, how romantic! Tony is sure quick to trust Lucass seeing as every time he turns around he catches Lucass slipping Cassie the tongue. I had to laugh yesterday when ole Hornlena is passing out pearls of wisdom and did anybody catch her Horny reaction to Rex and Mimi making out. Poor John must have gotten dragged up the penthouse stairs by the hair after that stupid party. 05/12/03 - This is truly a wierd show. Those flashbacks today of donut head and Bo with the wierd colors and the ominous music were just wierd... wierd... Well, Bo has dusted off the old bike and its a she unlike Rex the truck who is a he, god knows what goes on behind closed garage doors at the Bradys. Hopes Mercedes is an it. Oh nevermind. Ha Ha! I totally fastforwarded that moronic geek and her stupid mask. Have you ever worn one of those? So much air comes in around your nose that they are practically worthless. The geek is getting really large. She stood in front of Brady and totally blocked him from view. OK, I watched a minute or two. Meanwhile Belle tried to throw the contest and was so cute that she wasn't able to. Right! How stupid does this make the Love is Blind producers. All three girls have boyfriends and two of them are good friends with the mystery hunk. They are right up there with Ken and the days producers in the brains dept. Todays show was just wierd.... wierd... Rex has unlocked his genetic code, oh boy! I unlocked it long ago it says : 'Confucious say, he with hornlena for a mother and Tony for a father will be horny and have a great tan.' 05/08/03 - What a bunch of heavy handed crap. Hornlena and Hope throw a baby shower for lexie? Right, then Eugena just happens to show up and could you see how self concious the actress was in that dress she kept blocking the camera view of her cleavage by holding up her arms, she looked like she was doing the funky chicken. Ok, I guess Lexie and Hope like each other now, fine, whatever, since Lexie told Hope she had a bowl of branflakes. Ok, Kates big secret is that she was a hooker, didn't she ever get arrested? Doesn't half the damn town know anyway including Hornlena, Vic, and Sami. How is Roman out of the loop on that? Some detective. That scene with dumass Shawn hitting on that chick was stupid. First of all, she works for Maggie. Why would Mick Gagger dream up all this intrigue when Maggie could have just given her the day off if she would depose. Oh fine, we get to see how slick Shawn is...NOT and theres Belle listening in. Gawd. If you think the show is stupid and heavy handed now, apparently James Reilly is the new headwriter. I admit I liked Passions for about a year, but its three years later and not one damn thing has happened on that show. Its a stupid piece of crap! His teens are now in their late 20s, poor Timmy is gone, Gawd, what a trainwreck. Reilly has some good ideas, but he simply cannot move things along. I imagine for his first new plot, Hopes underwear drawer will become possessed by Satan. That should be good for a laugh. 'No Hope, you must wear the red bra and the crotchless panties.... BWahahahaha!!!' 05/06/03 - You know love is blind when Cassie is the first one voted off the island. Either that or the mystery 'hunk' is really that idiot Phillip Kuriakis who only thinks about giant breasts which will make Mimi the winner, I guess. He must be able to sense them through his blindfold. Whoever cast 'chaz' should have realized he is so tall that when he stands next to anyone, they can't get both faces in the frame. Meantime, donut head is tagging along everytime something happens so I guess she gave Zack to the gypsies or something. I really liked the dark haired prostitute that Lucass was hanging out with. Why is it that those hookers are all better looking than the regular cast? John better do something about Marlenas horniness or she just might turn to Tony. Its funny to watch her get wierder and wierder from lack of nooky. Well, Roman is kind of a pig, and we all knew that from his days harrasing the strip club owner for no reason, so you might expect Kate to have giant breasts in his fantasy, but no dice. She even left her wonderbra at home. The new writer seems committed to showing some romance which has long been missing from the show, I guess thats a good thing, its just the whole mother daughter thing, and then theres the fact that Victor has slept with both Kate and Romans mother and his sister Kimberly, not to mention porn star MISTY CIRCLE who has slept with Romans son Eric. Bah! Who guesses that Sexie loses the baby since Branflake has been fired. Keep Branflake, fire Sami, or at least buy her a bra. Does it piss anyone else off that when they build a new set, like the health club and sauna they have to do everything there. What a perfect place for a ransom drop (double, I wonder if anybody would wonder why people keep throwing out their gym bags), right in front of the military press machine. I wonder if John knows that he is sitting on the wet spot that Bo and Hope left in there yesterday when Bo took a flying F at a rolling donut (head) in there. They sure got it fixed quick and meanwhile Cassie is still wearing the same outfit she had on last week. 04/23/03 Oh Bo... (sigh) I just want to help people... maybe work with children... But first, I want you to take me inside the filthy Titan sauna. Yeah right donut head! Ok, the high tech parts salesman is now a kidnapper. Times are tough in Tech, i know, but come on. Cassie sure looked good today, actually so did the meem. Speaking of what an idiot donut head is, why oh why would Lexie tell her about Brandon after the way Hope treated her during the baby switch. If I were Lexie I would be scheming to cut off Hope's donut supply, not having breakfast with her and telling secrets. Does anybody think Hornlena will do it with Tony? That would be kind of fun. Shake things up a bit. I would love to see the faces that John makes when he finds out. I guess the geek is cured, I hoped she would die a miserable death, but I guess the Victor hates me story will cause her to leave town (yay!). I almost forgot about 'Whos in the house'. GAWD! That show is worse than watching city council meetings on public access TV. I think Jack is too old to act like this bumbling moron all the time, and Jennifer was a lot more likeable as a teenager. She seems kind of rude and harsh these days although I'm glad J&J are finally back together, the TV show is not quite as bad as Gay Jack. 04/14/03 Pay those taxes folks, and who died and made donut head into Jeraldo Rivera... I have a useful bit of information on the crime sindicate and instead of giving it to the police or the newspaper, I'm going to tell donut head. With all these clues falling on her from out of the sky she is poised to become the next Inspector Clouseau and Days will finally have to hire an asian actor to play Katooooo. Man that Maria chick has big hooters! I think I'm starting to like this strip club angle. Whats up with this new talk show with Jack and Jennifer 'the two best reporters in Salem'. Have they cracked ONE STORY. They always have to keep mum because a Brady or Horton is involved in whatever they are snooping into. Oh well. Meanwhile Lexie and Donut Head are HAVING LUNCH TOGETHER!!??! And Donut Head is sure spending a lot of time with her precious child that she wanted so bad when Lexie had him. Yeah, well, after his crying started waking Hope from her naps, she blew him off entirely. This dating show is sure stupid. I really dislike that cheerleader-like producer/announcer chick. I think the 'mystery hunk' is that idiot Phillip Kuriakis, fresh out of boot camp no doubt because he kept stubbing his toes on his footlocker and couldn't walk. Of course they announced the girls by name, so he knows who they are even though he can't see them, so maybe its not ole Phil. For a minute I thought it was Mardevil when he got on the microphone. Well, Hope finally acknowleged that she is a useless, lazy idiot, and I take all the credit!!! Just kidding. The new headwriter Dena Hagly seems to be a big Bo and Hope fan so get used to seeing quantities of donut head not known since the subsea sex fest. Not only is Hope finding some ambition, but Bo is going back to the stupid and rude but edgier Bo of past years. What an ass blaming Roman for arresting Shawn-D for being a drugged out confessor to murder and GUILTY of attempted murder. Speaking of ass-holic Bradys, why was the Brady Pub serving all of those underage teen idiots and then the next day everybody is all 'underage drinking is wrong'. OK. I am the only person in the world who likes Cassie, and its mainly because of her looks, I admit, but Belle is such a selfish little hypocrite that I can no longer stand her. She looks bloated, kind of like that depressing geek who is thankfully on less and easy to fast forward. I am so happy she is leaving the show. I dislike the Kate and Roman pairing, I guess Kates recent experience dumpster diving has taught her the value of middle class romance and I have no idea what honest Stumpy is thinking dating an ex-prostitute and mother of his last desperation play Billie Reed who was also a hooker and porn-star and also slept with his brother Bo. The other stupid thing is this new brothel and the fact that everybody is going there all the time. They should cast that Natasha chick to take over as Nicole though. 01/06/03 Happy new year! and congratulations to the stump for making it into the mother daughter club where you expect to find people like Nicoles and Billies fathers and the band Def Leppard. I guess he was jealous of Bo who has given a sceptre to TWO princesses, so he had to think of something. Bo can get even pretty fast if he seduces Kate, and god knows she is hard up. Ok donut head, we know you don't get enough sleep because your two year old cries and wakes you up. Have you ever heard of taking a nap!!! Its not like Hope has ANYTHING TO DO... Besides eat donuts and watch the peoples court, but NO! She dumps the little tyke off at the pub where Caroline slaves 6AM to closing time. No problem if Caroline is kept awake all night... No problem for HOPE! Her hallucinations are stupid too. Did Larry put LSD in her donut mix? Anyway, I think Larry shot Colin, you heard it here first. The best thing about the intrigue is that giant balloonheaded geek is on less. Yay! This Vic/Nicole thing has taken too many turns for me. They both have gone back and forth ten times and now they are in a loveless marriage. Oh fine! Makes about as much sense as Kate getting it on with the Stump. 12/02/02 Yikes! Geek Sex! I think Barndoorlin is a terrible actress, but she sure sold me that she was horny today If I was Arianne Zuker, I would drag her outside the sound stage and pound her silly. Ok, how rude is it that they turn some poor strangers cabin into their little sex den. THEY EVEN USED HIS CONDOMS!!! Yuck! Doesn't Bradly Frame have a job? Isn't the ghastly one supposed to be taking a class? And isn't she too sick to take more than one class, but not too sick to travel all over the country and have sex in a drafty old shack. Bah! I really hate the way John comes barging into the mansion all the time and threatens Tony. If something bad happens to John he deserves it at this point. Speaking of the Dimeras for a mo' If John is Tonys brother, then Hope did a Father Son act on the old submarine. Hahahahaha!!! It just keeps getting more grotesque. I liked the whole Lexie murder setup even though it involved donut head getting rescued. They had me fooled alright. I loved Lex telling Abe to take a big old wrinkeled prune hike too! I just wish she wouldn't end up chasing BranFlake. Speaking of him, IT WASN"T HIS AND DISGUSTING SAMIS FIRST TIME!!! They got it on once in his apartment after he came out of the shower and dropped his towel. It was the inspiration for my fanfic Sami's bad fur day I can't believe nobody remembered that she had cheated on Aushole. If I was Shawn, I would dump Belle and get with alien girl. I can only imagine what her 'special abilities' are! 11/06/02 Oh god, that geek is so AWFUL and not only that, but her head expands 10% every month kind of like Ted Koppel. Even Hope is bearable next to that stupid nerd. Poor Phillip, one minute she is about to get a restraining order and the next she 'needs' him for one of her stupid schemes. Oh well, Belle is putting on weight and its all going to her bustline and her butt. I used to like Shawn, but he has become such a little a-hole. Bo is a great role model also, I can't believe Abe hasn't fired him yet. Yesterday we learned that Lexie is 5'4" wearing shoes. Thats a fun fact. I really wish she hadn't slept with BranFlake and now stupid disgusting Sami knows all about it. Speaking of bustlines, I sure enjoyed alien girl in that vampire costume. What special powers are required to trip a circuit breaker anyway, and why was Rolf so pleased with such a stupid prank. I guess he had a good view of Cynthias butt. Maybe he could interpret her tattoo. I really like Tony. At last somebody who can actually act, and somebody who isn't painfully stupid like John and Bo. Why are people so upset that Hope is missing? Isn't she always missing? Nobody seemed to give a crap last time. The Salem PD is really dumb too. Lexie's locked in a storeroom with Zack and they assume she kidnapped him. Why don't they ask the little guy where he's been? Uncle Larry was wheeling him all over town, they must have bonded some. 08/27/02 I just got a new satellite dish reciever with a built in hard disk and it is so cool. Not only is the picture perfect, but it has commercial skipping and geek skipping technology. When I saw her checking in to the no-tel motel today with Brady, my first thought is the desk clerk is calling the cops because he is there with a high school student, my second was oh yeah, I don't have to watch any of this!!! Ok, the geeks wig is just a little silly looking and who stuck Bo's head in the clothes dryer. He looks like Steve McGarratt from Hawaii five-0. Why are they dressing Sami in those wierd low cut numbers and then giving her pigtails, she looks like the St Pauli Girl and god knows what motivates that woman to piss off the whole town. Whats the damn point. If she put that kind of energy into her job, she would be COS in six months. I had to laugh at Abes 'the look' face. they must have had fun with that. I cant believe that ass Roman violated the witness protection program! What da hell is he thinking. Now half the town is off to rural minnesota. After disgusting Sami attempts to kill Nicole, I dont' think Hornlena will be able to say every bad thing she does is out of love. I think she needs a long vacation. So is Sexie no longer a doctor, nice maternity leave seeing as she has no kid now. Dumb. 08/19/02 Wow, over a month with no updates. Shame on me. I'm still not watching except to catch a snippet here and there. Today I tuned in for 5 minutes and saw the geek all done up like Hadjii from Jonny Quest and that moron Phillip. I reach for the remote and before I can blink they flash to Brandon laying on top of Lexie and I am like 'Holy crap!' Brandon must have some sort of low impact technique cause he is just laying there and Sexie is in some sort of state of rapture. I bet that never happened with Abe. Well, do you suppose who's the daddy two is in the works. They made it abundantly clear that Brandon had 'finished' before Abe started pounding on the door. I don't like the princess ginafication of Lexie. She was never slutty before. What is this crap where Bo is so lucky that Hope forgave him for marrying Billie? Hope was a moronic vegetable at the time. Well, she still is. I was POed at how Hope forgave Bo for no reason after she was rescued by JOHN from the castle. Oh well. I had to laugh as Phil and Geeko are talking and Hornlenas butt filled the upper 1/4 of my TV. Meanwhile the Stump is somehow in the know about the federal witness protection program. What a great program to tell every detective in the country how to get ahold of people. DUMB! Meanwhile the kiddies are heading back to school in real life, but the alien story will probably wrap up 9 months from now and are any of these loser teens going to college? 07/17/02 Gak! I've had to stop watching again. So much for the new writers. Of course nobody is as stupid as Langan, but these boneheads are pissing me off. First off, Billie has no continuity. She was a freaking executive living in paris and threw it away to become a rookie cop, also ironic that Bo thinks this Billie has a 'killer bod'. Speaking of which, did you notice the hot alien girl stuffing cantalope in her shirt, I think she must have observed Hope doing that except Hope uses the whole damn thing. While we are on the topic of Donut Head, I did catch a little soliloquy she did telling Bo " I wonder if the Reibers don't really want me there, and just called to be nice." Hell YES! Hope was rude to them for six months. If I were Barb, I would move and not tell Hope. I hope Barb has a donut maker or she will have one cranky so and so on her hands. OK, how many times in one scene can Roman say Wat Da HELL... What a buffoon. Is that on his queue cards? Maybe they are punishing college students playing drinking games or something. Crikey, I flip over from the financial channel and theres Celeste in this red dress. I have decided to call her SwellBreasts from this moment on. OK, if she is Sexies mother, how come Abe looks like an old prune, and SwellBreasts looks like a million bucks? That reminds me, the other day I walk by a psychic and she is handing out cards, 10 minutes later I walk back and she tries to hand me a second card. Some psychic! I bet I can predict her future better than she can predict mine. I'm glad Hope is heading away and Hornlena is finally getting some airtime. I hope it turns out she boffed Tony, it would serve her husband the walking sperm bank right. OK, is the geek bald yet? That is the only thing making me check in at all. The connection between her and Charlie Brown will finally be complete. The other scene I caught is Brady yelling at Craig because he should have caught it earlier. For crying out loud what difference would that have made? That was a stupid scene. I think Chloe displayed all her symptoms when she was with Brady or Toolbag Foulup. Ok you pathological poll takers, I grant your wish : Poof!!! You have frosty the snowmans figure. Come on you guys!!! Ghoul Girl!!! Maybe from the waist up, but then there is that giant Mr Mackey head. I keep waiting for her to become a balloon and start spouting 'drugs are baaaad'. Anyway, in case you haven't guessed I finally got around to updating the poll. Most ridiculous item of the day : Billie is tired of being a fashion mogul in London and returns to Salem to work for... THE SALEM PD????? Thats like leaving Wilson Sonsini to take over Mickeys law practice. Jennifer is such a joke, the way she treats men. I think feigning romance to get one stupid story is pretty unethical, I guess its pretty clear by now she won't be putting out for the story though. I need to get laid award goes to Lexie. I had a roomate in college who became evil due to lack of sex. That old fossil Abe was a mistake from day one although he had no trouble 'pleasing' Faye and Cameron Reese. Runner up award goes to Kate who gets it once in six years from Vic and the next day he leaves her. Hahahahaha. No such problems at the Black household. Meanwhile, the geek is still in the hospital with all her hair and unlimited visiting hours. Why not let her go home, its not like she is on an IV drip or anything. I can't wait for next fall when it will become obvious to everyone what a bunch of losers the teens are when the valedictorian and salutitorian both opt for Salem U. or don't go at all. If I was a guidance counselor at Salem High I would be contemplating suicide about then. Do you think Brady will ever find any friends his own age. One minute he is tossing Belle off the balcony of the penthouse, and the next he is the fifth wheel in her social circle. I wish Belle and Shawn had switched partners in the CPRfest and the aliens would have imprinted to their same sex partners, that would give a whole new meaning to an alien giving an anal probe!!! (sorry! I can't help myself sometimes) 07/08/02 Well, I already don't like Billie. She just looks weird with those huge lips and pointy nose. Her secret is probably that Hope really isn't Hope. I don't believe that. Convincing evidence would be Hope getting a job, or picking up a meal tab for Alice. I confess I thumbed through a Playboy in the liquor store when Lisa Rinna was in it. No great shakes. That female alien is a fox!!! Shawn thought so too as he fondles her breasts and kisses her. I couldnt believe they showed his hands whirling around on her chest like that. CPR indeed!!! Meanwhile, can Belle find more excuses to bend over in that skimpy top. She better be careful or she might get abducted. I just couldn't care less that the geek is sick, and poor Brady. College dropout with a crush on a fat headed ghoul who is supposedly dying. I predict her father is dead and Brady turns out to be a match. BFD! 06/26/02 Ok, it looks like we get a Horton picnic this year, since when was it the Brady/Horton picnic anyway? I think that Belle and Shawn are great separately, but they act like they can't stand one another in their romantic scenes all the forced smiles etc. I was really hoping the wooden nerd would be booted by the new writers, but she is around enough to spoil what is in general a much improved show. At least they didn't make fatty her father, which is what Langan had in mind casting somebody who could sing opera over somebody who could act. I just loved Tonys entrance, even though I knew it was going to happen. As usual, the Salem residents are acting like a-holes, and the 'villains' are gracious. If John has a problem with Tony, maybe he shouldn't have been bopping with his wife. Meanwhile Hornlena just follows him around going 'Hornlena Horney!!!'. Lexie looks just great with her hair all messy, and did you get a load of Celeste at the Penthouse Grill. Caprice got one look at those things and started to have breast envy flashes, either that or they worked together at the psychic friends network. I thought Bo and his idiot wife were going to sail around with their toddler until the danger of Lexie kidnapping Issac was over, next thing we know they are back. Billie looks pretty good in that promo. 06/11/02 Wow, mondays show was fantastic, I love insane Lexie and that was the best performance in the history of daytime!!! Now, its teusday, and the geek and Hope are back and its downhill all the way. First of all, these teens are such stooges. Did anybody notice that Gigantor was paired with her mortal enemy Jason at graduation and how did Foulup graduate, much less with honors. I loved it when Brady said "There must have been some mistake". A total reversal, the geek wants to go to the dance, and Belle wants to stay home and feel sorry for herself. Only at Salem High do the 'Most Popular girl in school' and the 'two Hottest guys at Salem High' not have a girl/boyfriend for an entire year. I hated the fact that the geek was valedictorian. First of all, she didn't attend Salem High long enough, didn't go on the class trip, blew up the chem lab, was posted on the internet nude when she was underage, and is hated by most of the students. Only at a school where Phil is an honor student is this possible. Good to see Kim (although I never liked her) and cutie Melissa. Kim sure has a hot body, it must come from Carolines side of the family. I am actually enjoying disgusting Sami and Jacks little adventure and I may have to eat this page the way Jenn is going at ole BranFlake. I am really starting to like Nicole too, she can be really funny. I think the dresses for the Ass Blast kind of suck, but at least we are not subjected to hours of geek cleavage. 05/28/02 Isn't SinThea supposed to be some jock slut? Then why hasn't she forgotten all about Phil by now, and she is more gullible than Hope believing that Phil has noble intentions with her. I thought they hated each other, but we need some last minute intrigue for the Ass Blast, where I predict it will be 3 for 3 and Phil will end up humiliated again. Hottest guy in school my backside!. How many times does Yellow Pinkie (belle) have to tell Shlong she doesn't care what stupid thing he might do now since he has been such an idiot. That only can mean she will change her mind after Schlong wises up about Jan. I swear there is about a 45 degree arc between Jans breasts!!! While we are on the topic, it looks like the Meem has dropped a couple inches and a cup size. Actually she looks a lot better with the new highlights. It is so unreal that she would be talking to the wooden wonder who somehow is going to be valedictorian. If she was so smart, she might have recognized the chemicals Kevin was mixing together to make her stink, or maybe gone along with the rest of her class to stupid island. Seems like with a whole summer of extra credit under their belts, Kevin, Gigantor or Belle should get the nod. Maybe the geek isn't wearing panties to Mr Woods civics class or something. What is with Mercenary Morons new secret agent mode, when last I paid attention he was fattys paid ass-assin. As usual, as long as he is forthcoming with the afternoon delight, HornLena notices nothing. She is like Sgt Shultz, except instead of blintzes she gets nookie. Gross me out, Ms three-way-tease Jennifer is off to GroanMountin' Lodge with BranFlake. If he gets any, I will print this page and eat it. She is worse than Grunta ever was. Oh, and I hope Lexie sues the crap out of Salem General and the almighty Hortons get knocked down a couple pegs. I was so pissed when the Brady/Horton contingent decided to throw a big party after Hope got Issac. That was sick considering the sacrifices that Abe made, and how many times Lexie has saved Horton and Brady butt over the years. 05/09/02 Grrrr... If Sinthea wanted stupid Phil, then why did she embarrass him in front of the whole school and if Phil and Shawn are the hottest guys in Salem high after Shawn supposedly got Jan pregnant under Jasons nose and Phil has a video almost as nasty as Ghoul girls, then *I* was the most popular person at my High School too. Meanwhile, Jan is growing warts or something and NOBODY would act like Schlong. Speaking of being out of character, Hope has gotten up from her barkalounger and is off in search of Lexie, too bad when she or Bo figure out where ole Lex is the neglect to TELL ANYONE. The Meem is looking good with her foxy new 'do and for some stupid reason she is teaming up with the geek after school when she is done cleaning toilets. Yeah RIGHT!!! And when Geekly fails her audition, it will not be because her screechy voice is annoying, it will be because she is sick. I predict none of these losers, to use Carolines term will go to college even though Belle and Chloe are 4.0 students. I loved how Brady told Phil that he was a stupid, self centered, whiny little wimp and maybe the writers do come to the internet sometimes. Phil is all "where are you going in such a hurry". Then when they were talking about the video and Phil goes "Awww.. You've seen it, havent you" I am busting a gut. If Brady knows the meaning of Sins tatoo, he's not tellin. Bo does only go to Vic when he needs help, and the writhers acknowlege this fact making Bo a hypocritical ingrate. Well fine, maybe he and Hope ARE meant for one another. 04/31/02 Snif... Boo hoo, what a sad Kleenex show, there were a couple of laughs though. That commercial where they kept showing peoples butts and at the end they go 'Get clean and fresh where it really counts... Kleenex Cottonelle'. Then there was the part where Shawn is congratulated for getting into Pepperdine and he snivels 'I'm not going' and I am thinking that with his parental influences I am not surprized and ole Caroline goes into this soliloquy about how if he skips school he will become a loser all within earshot of Bo and Hope and I am laughing hard. Meanwhile I don't think Hope is very motherly with little JT. Yesterday she is giving him a bath and prattling on about how Mr Duck is his favorite toy in the whole world meanwhile JT is banging the tub with Ms. Rattle and has no interest whatsoever in Mr Duck. They better get him started with trucks pretty soon. On todays show she keeps grabbing him and you can sort of see this body language where he turns his head away. I also liked how Mickey opens the Bible to page five and starts reading about Jesus. Well, it is Mickey after all, he probably has a special Bible : Devotion for Dummies. The family tree in the bible was nice. Haven't seen mention of David or Scotty for a while. All in all, I thought Bo and Hope showed a lot of class today which is a breath of fresh air from Hope being ejected from court and Bo picking fights. Who guesses nobody will be going to Iowa anytime soon. The evil Lexie is growing on me and I liked it when Abe finally after like 2 years caught a clue. I just hope BranFlake is not on deck to move in on Lex. Don't get me started on the tape. Just call Asstin in NY and ask him about Samis lies. Did you see that pink top Kate had on and it must have been a little drafty in the hall at Titan!!! I thought that with that top and the 'thing' disgusting Sami had on we were in for another Crystal and Alexis in the pool scene, but thank god we were spared. 04/24/02 Oh god Charlie Brown, is it full moon or is that just your head? I mistakenly tune in and the fatheaded geek is all like "How COULD YOU!!!" and slaps stupid Phil. How could he what, you geek? Not only were you broken up with him at the time, but surely the tape caught him backing out at the end to the effect of "I can't do this to the fathead" or something to that effect. Not only that, but the tape was made six months ago and you have shown zero interest in the toolshed during that time. Speaking of idiots, how about Donut Heads new flashbacks where the father of her baby is either a crash test dummy, or the robot from the movie Sleeper. Personally, I am sick of how we are right back where we started two years ago. BranFlake is back in Abes face, Hope is having meaningless flashbacks. Bo is growling at John, the teens are little insipid pinheads, and Alice is dispensing her dimestore logic. Apparently Jack raping Kayla was forgivable, but him telling Grunta that he is gay is "UNFORGIVABLE". Fine Alice. And Gawd, who is this Caprice idiot and what is the point of her and her ridiculous accent. All that crap about her raising Brady when it was only months ago that we had to endure his wrath because HornLena made him grow up in Boarding School after she threw out his white Hulk toy. I like how Sexie is putting the long deserved screws to Donut Head though. I laughed when everybody bought a copy of the Intruder from that machine. I would have put in a quarter, taken them all and thrown them in the trash. Then John reads the article out loud and then states, "Who would write this garbage". Every word in the article was true, and the answer is Corday and Langan. Gotta love Bo for smashing that chip though. At least somebody on that show is sick and tired of Hopes past rearing its ugly head. 04/11/02 Still not watching much. I don't think disgusting Sami got the wedding she deserved by a long shot, and how ironic is it that as soon as Aushole catches a clue he leaves town WITHOUT TELLING ANYBODY all the stupid and evil things disgusting Sami did. All the payback we get is her beating on some rug with her giant hooters flopping around. She must have taped them to the inside of her wedding dress. Oh poor Hopeopottamus! Loses her baby and just like that she wants Sexies. If she hadn't been looking down her trust funded nose at the Reibers, I'm sure they would have been reasonable. Now her twisted logic tells her that Glen has no right to his son, but she has a right to the love child of herself and old fatty. Well, it was getting impossible to believe gregarious JT had FAS anyway. Poor Bo just holds his head as Hope makes a big scene in .com and whats with those white flashes. Is her last synapse starting to burn out, or is she suffering from low blood sugar because Alice has not been on and she is getting no donuts. I really feel sorry for Bo and Abe. The men on this show are such enablers. 03/28/02 Roll up... Roll up for the mystery tour! What the heck is with that stupid boombox and even the dialogue is making fun of its mystical powers. Then theres Hornlena wearing shades like ZZ Top in the hotel. Maybe she has red eyes from all the horizontal action abord Johns jet. Just how do you get a queensize mattress through the doorway of a jet anyway and wouldn't it be more romantic to get one of those suites at the Bellagio anyway. That jet has seen more action than most jets for sure. I know she's Misty Circle, but since when is she in love with Ass-Pin. It seems like the last time I tuned in she was professing true love for Victor Viagra. Well, the promo's say disgusting Sami will get the wedding 'she deserves' which can only mean she will marry Julian Crane in hell, or perhaps she will be sucked into the mystical Boombox and suffer an eternity of listening to the Best of Bread. 03/20/02 Sorry about the lack of updates, I'm not watching. Do you want to hear my theory? Good. Remember the movie 'Revenge of the Pink Panther' when Clouseau dresses up as a dentist with a big nose and administers laughing gas to Dreyfus and starts taking hits himself and pulls the wrong tooth? Well, Dreyfus has a moment of sanity in spite of the laughing gas and realizes "there is only one man stupid enough to pull the wrong tooth hahahahaha". Well, there is only one man stupid enough to come up with the Shawn/Jan idiot fest. LANGAN IS NOT GONE!!! I can smell him!!! We got a brief rest in the geekfest, but she is back in fathead full force. Watch as Shawn, Jason and Brady kick each others asses over the most contrived situation ever. Watch as the stupid geek agonizes over a tape of something that didn't happen after she told stupid Philip to get lost. Watch the moronic 'gay' escapades. Then realize... Only one man is this stupid! 02/21/02 Lexie sure looks great in that leather outfit, and I would like to tie her up and perform a DNA test myself. Can you believe mercenary moron actually did that to his best friends wife. This isn't the 60's. I'd laugh hard if Abe stormed over to the penthouse and tied up and gagged HornLena to retaliate. Meanwhile Sami is as disgusting as usual and Kate is flaring up a storm trying to get LucAss to wake up. I loved Nicoles line today about how Asstin shouldn't marry disgusting Sami unless he is prepared to live with a lifetime of lies and scheming. Instead of answering, Asstin changes the subject. This is not very PC, but Dee Hall is looking a bit haggard as she aids and abets the idiotic John to decieve Bo and Hope and get a sample of Hopes DNA. I bet when they examined the DNA they noticed the huge BOOB gene and the missing BRAIN GENE. 'Oh don't take my baby!!! Bo... Don't let them take my baby!!!' Its not YOUR baby donut head! Your baby is over at Lexies and you don't give a crap about him apparently. Gotta laugh if John and Fatty aren't the father, who the heck else did Donut head boff over in Europe. We know it wasn't Bo because she was poisoning him as part of porkys mime plot. Heck, maybe it was Prince Charles, or the Denver Broncos. You have to be a little miffed. What was the point of having us vote in that stupid thing anyway there Ken? Ok, Grunta and Asstin are getting cut loose? Anyone else wondering why the two born agains are getting cut? Is the new head writer.... SATAN!!!!? We all know why Asstin is being let go, but actually he seems to be getting a little better. Another year or two and he will outact the twins who play Will. Grunta has never made much sense to me, but she is cute. I hope they replace her with someone decent looking at least... 02/14/01 The geek is back in full force. I was sure the new writing staff would spare us her stupid scenes. Not only that, but Donut Head might have given birth to fattys offspring after all, explaining Bo's nightmares and inability to bond with JT. I am trying to remember if the jokers at NBC ever told us the results of their stupid who's the daddy vote. I am having a lot of trouble following the plot. Why are the geek and Brady friends now? Why is Sin-thea so POed at Phil and why oh why would schlong say he is the father of Jans baby. That is the dumbest thing ever, and whats wrong with the stupid geek besides the obvious. Who knows. 02/05/02 Yack! Two geek days in a row, I was really enjoying her hiatus. Jean jackets might look nice on Britney Spears, but they make the geek look like she has a pot belly and a fat head. I'm surprized Nancy lets her shop for clothes after she burned her last 'cool' wardrobe in the fireplace. Now didn't she tell stupid Phil to eff off last JUNE. What the heck!!! He's still calling her. What an idjit! Especially with horny Sin-Thea in the picture. Bwahahahaha!!! Donut Head gets tossed out of the courtroom and I am laughing HARD. Meanwhile the only words Mickey utters the whole time is to apologise for Donut Heads rudeness. Doesn't she know how to behave in a court of law. She used to be a cop like the three weeks she has lifted a finger in her lazy life. Maybe Shawn should teach JT to say : 'my mommie is a lazy idiot'. Meanwhile on planet Jan she is getting an ultrasound and let me tell you, she must have found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow to pay the hospital at this point. I just got an x-ray and it was $330. She has had counseling, OB-Gyn and an ultrasound and HER PARENTS DONT KNOW... Right! I just have to comment on that gratuitous shot of Belle in her little nighty top bending over JT's crib. All I can say is yikes!!!! I am completely over any joy I had to have Jack and Jennifer back on the show and Grunta is so damn rude refusing to leave Jacks house and threating to tell Jenn he is gay. She sure looked good this week though nice hair and makeup. The show is much better post Langan I have to admit. Even in this transitional time there are plenty of dramatic moments. The flashback they showed of disgusting Sami and LucAss concieving will cracked me up. She could fit two of her in that outfit now. I'm glad BranFlake has moved on to Jenn and disgusting Sami has quit getting 'nooners' at his pad and licking her chops. That had to be Langan. 01/28/02 Gads, Langan is really gone and the stupid geek has gone the way of Pee Wee Herman. Excellent!!! Now we are back to insulting Hope which is the way it really should be. Speaking of Donut head, can she treat Mrs H any worse. Mrs H is going "Weeelll... Hope, if Shawn kidnaps JT it will just cause more trouble..." and Hope literally bites her head off. "No, you stupid old hag!!! If he teaches him to say I won't go then blah blah". If I were the judge in the case I would think "I won't go" referred to some potty training issue... Then Shawn gets one on Krispy Kreme by slashing the tires of her brand new S Class Mercedes. Remember how they had to borrow money from PopShawn and Caroline for the down payment on their house and now Hope is driving around town like Julian Crane. Maybe she has a part time job.... NAH!!!! Shiver me timbers, Basic Black is in business and old John is keeping busy looking down Kates front. It won't be long now I suppose. Poor HornLena will have to turn to the Stump for comfort. 12/10/01- Well, Misty Circle has some competiton. Ole SinThea wants to have a 3 way with Shawn and Phil and wouldn't she be bored watching Shawn and Phil go at it? Ugh... Not my idea though. Don't shoot the messenger! Last week we hear she only goes after 'jocks' then we find that she has seen the 'Brady Pube' a couple of years ago. Well, fine. Wasn't that the other Shawn-D actor who was younger. How does she recognise him now? Have you ever been to such a formal party? A mother of the year event no less. I'd hate to see Lex Luthor throw a new years eve party! Let me get this straight, Rolf has a satellite and supercomputers, but the 'LexieCam' is black and white? Speaking of the satellite, last time Rolfie was able to control Hope remotely, but now she has to be in the Dimera living room. Right! Old DonutHead sends Bo away because she 'Has to talk to Jennifer' then she just wanders over to a corner and stares at the wall. If I was Bo... Oh nevermind! Meanwhile, Tom Langan, the Master of Suspense has us all wondering whether the geek will actually go to the party or not. Of course she will, and as usual Philip will make an idiot of himself. While moping around the Wesleys the phone rings and she's all 'Please be Philip' and I am thinking maybe she hasn't ripped him enough new a-holes by now. I thought Craig and Lex had a big problem with one another... Why are they invited? Meanwhile Belle can just invite Chloe, but Phil has to play Wile E Coyote to get near the place. Roman is missing, off on some really interesting case.. Well whatever. I just hope when he returns, he has a better haircut than the last time he found something better to do than DOOL. 12/03/01 - HEY STUD!!! Then Phil and Shawns reaction shot is all 'Where... Where...?'. I like Cynthia. She is a much better actress than Blowhole. Blowhole says Cynthia is a slut because she only goes after Jocks??? How much sense does that make? Meanwhile the geek only goes after sissy boys whose fathers have private jets. She's not a slut, she is discriminating... Like Anna Nicole Smith. I'm beside myself trying to figure out what Cynthias tattoo said. One speculation I saw on a message board was '[insert 4 letter word] me here.' The big fight between Phil and the trashcan ended with Phil actually winning. This is in the same week that MICKEY WON A CASE, so its not too surprizing I guess although some of those paper bags looked like they might be able to take him. We won't talk about how Micky is a defense lawyer, not a litigator. Guess what Mick, you just won 1/3 of 48 million dollars, what are you going to do? Take Maggie to Mexico! What a TIGHTWAD! I guess he feels poor next to the rest of the town as he doesn't have his own jet and limo. Hope is mother of the year on exactly what planet? Does sneaking off to meet with John and talk about how 'hot' you are count as nurturing in some way that I don't understand. I've gotten over the sheer stupidity of Lexie turning evil though. I hope she zaps Hopes brain with all her might. It will take the equivalent power of a nuclear blast to store a memory in that synaptic wasteland. Meanwhile over at HornLenas, disgusting Sami wanders in and Brady starts reminding everyone how she should be institutionalized and Hornlena is all : Come out on the freezing patio for some girltalk. Nicole's sudden interest in breaking up Sami and AssPin is one of the lamest plot licenses ever and we are talking about DOOL! Sami and Nicole WERE ALLIES against LucAss until Kate roasted the poor guy. Speaking of Kate, she actually appeared this week, in her trademark corporate miniskirt. Exactly WHY is Victor giving her money? Another mention of Basic Black today. Maybe in 6 years they will hang a shingle. You heard it here first! Sami will get pregnant, but we won't know if its AssPins or BranFlakes. Deja-vu! Snorrrrreeee! Supplemental : Hahahahaa! Good old predictable Phil. If I had something like that happen to me in high school..... What a fool! What was the point of the geek attack scene? You just knew she would be fine. Maybe we are supposed to weigh in our minds what would have happened if skrawny Philip had come upon the scene instead of Brady. What a stupid movie date anyway... When was the last time you were at a theatre and the film was cancelled, and what a coincidence the entire cast was at the movies at the time when they have never seen a film before in their lives. Oops, I take it back there was the time when geekly jumped in Shawns lap as soon as Phil went to get snacks. 11/26/01 Hope you all had a great thanksgiving as Days has delivered turkey after turkey. There is one bit of good news this holiday season. Idiot Jason has been bumped to recurring status. Speaking of idiots, who bets tooltime Phil blows his chance with sexy SinThea. Something tells me she wouldn't back out after him asking 15 times if she is sure and then turn around and accuse him of attacking her. When Phil got up to get popcorn today in the middle of his hot makeout session with SinThea I was afraid he would run into the geek in the lobby so I shut off the TV. Isn't it amazing how all the impotent teens are all suddenly in these romances and triangles? When did that happen? Are the miscast Meem and Belle turning 18 soon? Meem looked nice today. Oh Gawd, I almost forgot about Grunta. My new theory is that she is somehow turned on by the thought of Jack and Harry. Why else would she be this aggressive setting them up? Well, that was all I could stand to watch for the week... See ya later. 11/20/01 What a dry spell, can this show possibly suck more? Can Hope be a bigger lying piece of crap hypocrite. If I was Bo, I would have dialed *69 and then when it was John I would have beat the crap out of him. Thats one of the problems with this show that has existed since around when they killed Roman off the first time. Bo is supposed to be a detective, and he couldn't detect his a-hole with both hands and a flashlight. Hornlena is supposed to be a successful shrink, yet she is locked in a codependent marriage with the biggest wacko on the planet who's latest revelation was he used to be an ass-assin. When did he have time to do that? HornLena doesn't care as long as she gets her mercenary man meat. I have no idea why Bo stays in his loveless marriage. You know, for a man who has boffed not one, but TWO princesses, he doesn't do very well with the chicks. If Grunta had her way back before she became younger and all virginal ole Beauregard would have had a princess trifecta. Meanwhile, speaking of queens, Grunta is beyond stupid and as Kelly points out, her voice changes when she discusses gayness. It takes on the same tone as when I am trying to coax my dog to poop. Come on... Come on... poop! Oh good girl!!! Like I'm actually thrilled to have to bag it up. This is the dumbest story they have ever done. Her Royal Highness Princess Grunta von FagHag. Meanwhile Jack and Jennifer are really irritating me. Maybe Jack really is gay, or Jennifer is. 11/13/01 Bah! I haven't watched at all in the last week. If the truth be told, I can't stand the show anymore. Not only that, but nothing has happened this week anyway as far as I can tell. Ole Barb is blackmailing Sexie, who looks great in her tight pants and sweater... Sorry, I did watch 5 minutes today before that geek came on and I shut off the TV. One just has to imagine what is going on inside the brain of Lexie to be plotting murder and mayhem. One can only imagine as the makeup department makes her look whiter, she becomes more evil. One can only think that Michael Jackson becoming white was the cause of his shower pecadillos.... Rumors of a Fatty recast? Well, whatever, I won't be watching anyway. Recast Austin and the Geek and I might tune in. Isn't this sweeps period? More like sleeps, I'm afraid. Let me get this straight (pardon).. Jack is gay, but he is like 37 and has NEVER BEEN WITH A MAN???? JUST HOW GAY IS HE???? AND THIS IS A TURN ON TO HARRY EXACTLY WHY??? Maybe Langan could explain. This makes about as much sense as Kay on Passions turning herself into a cougar to win miguels love... Oh yeah, she read the wrong spell... Days could use Tabatha and Timmy to break up the dullness a bit. Maybe they could get Mr Rourke and Tattoo to do a guest spot, or did Tattoo die? Oh well. 11/06/01 In Hopes scenes lately I am reminded of ZZ Tops song 'La Grange' for some reason like at the end of each sentence I expect her to go : Ah Hah Hah Hah.. You know what I'm talkin about... Since when did Jelly Roll give 'great advice' anyway? What on earth is the appeal of Jenn and BranFlake? Poor Branflake is the Grunta of the male contingent. Tom Langan gets his romantic ideas from playing musical chairs. I'm sorry, this gay thing is not funny and I especially hate Grunta "Jack, you are a homosexual... Thus I expect you to let Harold tour Willy Wonkas chocolate factory". I thought Grunta was in love with Jack, and she is setting him up? Ehh? Meanwhile, disgusting Sami is jealous of Jennifer? She should know Jenn has too much class to barge in when BranFlake is taking one of his many showers, so there is no chance of his dropping the ole towel. I wonder if Jenn would lick her chops... Why did HornLena wait ten years to return Bradys Major Matt Mason doll? I'm sort of sorry I missed most of that because Brady is a good actor, but really. If my mom gave me back the stuffed animals my dad made her throw out when I turned 7, I would be like... Ehhh??? Well, the idiot teens are back in school and we learn that the Jamaican Jerk, on top of all his other transgressions actually pulled them out of the first couple months of the senior school year to 'learn about the environment'. What the heck? I don't like the teens, but I think Meem and Kevin are kind of cute together. They have something in common too. Both are social outcasts with large pecs. Place your bets... The Ghoulish Nerd is no longer dating Phil, I guess that means she should be being constantly taunted in the hallways. So, is she somehow popular now or not...? Time will tell This Jan jealosy crap is unbelievable. First off, don't Shawn and Belle spend any time together? Don't Jan and Jase (when he is not sneakily designing dresses for basic black, that is)? Why Shawn is sympathetic to one note idiot Jan is pretty suspicious.. Especially when he could be spending more time in the janitors closet with the delightful and recently hella horny Belle Black. 10/30/01 Gadzooks Grunta!!! What the heck? Telling Jack if he was straight he wouldn't be safe from her in Las Vegas. This from the woman who prizes her virginity above all things in this world. Whats with that 'flaming' gay guy and the more conservative one. Are they supposed to be good cop and bad cop? Not only that, but you would think idiot Jenn had never been out on a date before... Its kind of sickening to contemplate her drinking from the same well as Sami... Yuck. Why did Belle have to apologize to HornLena? It really IS none of her business. Just because when HornLena wants to get it on, its the business of anybody within earshot. If I was HornLena I would be wondering why my pretty and popular daughter who is a senior in High School had NEVER HAD A DATE!!!! Hello??? Chastity Bono calling!!! I think HornLena can't stand the thought of anybody else getting any. Oh well, slow week. Kind of a nice scene with Bo and Shawn washing Rex the truck. Too Bad Bo couldn't remember Rex's name and kept calling him 'the truck'. Supplemental Here I am innocently flipping between todays boring show and the financial channel, I flip over to days and its more of the stupid 'tease the gay guy' crap and ole Grunta just whips 'em out. Great Hog!!! This must be what Ken meant by 'It'll make you happy'. Why Grunta would do that is about as mysterious as ole Alice listening to Snoop Dogg. I wonder if she was really in bed the other day because she got in a gun battle at the bingo parlor after smoking some crack. God only knows what really happened to Tom.... 10/23/01 Damn!!! My prayers for the teens to get a little less airtime have been answered and disgusting Sami is waiting in the wings to fill the freed up airtime with the Killer B's : Big Boobs, 'Bitch' and Bad Acting. They use the B word so often on this show, that it has lost its power. I think Langan should invent a new word that is OK to say on TV like 'bunghole'. Then they add insult to injury by remembering that the last time we saw Nicole and Sami together they were allies so the 'catfight' really didn't make any sense and whats worse, the writers go and acknowlege it. Asstin is at work, and HE CAUGHT AN ACCOUNTING PROBLEM? How??? Did it fly into his open mouth? What a goofy haircut. I kept waiting for him to say Goooollly.. Sgt Carter, but no luck. Speaking of bad hair, check out Foulup Kuriakis. He looks like Qui Chang Kane from Kung Fu. He looks the same age as David Carridine too. What an idiot, he gets to take a surprize shot at Brady, and misses!!! Sure he's the captain of all the sports teams Tom. Then as he leaves he bangs his guitar on a hedge. I wanted him to El Kabong the geek over the head with it. Ok, this has some real potential to be funny. Hornlena is all concerened about Belles 'innocence'. There is also the implication that she doesn't think Shawn is good enough for her daughter. First of all if Hornlena wants Belle to wait... Stop dragging John by his hair up the stairs every 5 minutes. Crimeny!!! Then theres old donut brain : 'We have to keep JTs paternity a secret or Belle and Shawn will realize they share a half brother'. Well, donut head, maybe they would be creeped out for good reason like the rest of us!!! I think HornLena should be worried more about Samis innocence. Oh God, and Her Royal Highness Princess Grunta von Hamhock trying to act sexy... That was just bad. And somebody Jacks age who starts stammering when a woman friend of his sits on his lap. Good grief. Anyway, now that Grunta thinks she is safe, like with Eric, out comes the tease toolbox. This girl needs therapy. 10/16/01 In the DOOL timeline, wasn't it ONE DAY AGO that Kate had no visible means of support and shortly before that was DUMPSTER DIVING to get dinner. Now she is talking down to a brain surgeon??? Blah Blah... Private Jet... Blah Blah... I'm sure there are plenty of doctors that want to make a little money on the side... Then there was the 'that whore Nicole' comment. Get your terms straight Kate. Nicole is a golddigging tramp and pornstar, YOU are the whore. At last!!! A golden Hornlena moment. "My daughter Sami and I are walking down the beach and I scoop up some sand in both hands and I squeeze one and the other I cup gently... Blah Blah Blah." Well, this is what they were both thinking during that soliliquy : Sami : Well, If I spit on the sand enough times before squeezing it, it will form into a nice round ball which I can then throw on the ground and stomp on. Hornlena : Wow... Look how the waves go in.. and out.. and IN.. and OUT.. And if John squeezes one of my breasts and cups the other gently....I just have to laugh at Marlena and Samis relationship. What could Marlenas real point have been? Don't bother talking to your kids or they might turn out like Sami. Anyway, it was nice to see Craig, the one intact character on the show. More ranting... John is telling Brady how grown up he is for wishing Hornlena a happy birthday, he has become a man because he is willing to put his feelings aside and commit a selfless act... Blah Blah Blah... John is apparently not a man yet since we all see how he acts around Maggie Horton. And then he is yelling at the cops in a foreign country to back off. I wanted the cops to pummel him with their nightsticks but Ken is toning down on the violence.. Yeah right. OK, Hope has the amazing growing and shrinking bustline now just like Sheridan on Passions. My take is she got her 'plants taken out, and now uses those bags that go in the ole bra... Brrr... How do those work, do you microwave them first? She looks a lot healthier these days, thats for sure. I couldn't make heads or tails of that goofy poker game. I guess the point of it was to indicate how Sexie is becoming accustomed to Steffies wealth. Crikey, the woman is a surgeon and her husband is police commander, they were probably bringing in $500,000/year BEFORE Steffie left town, and now she is all blah blah private schools blah blah... I'm with her though. I wouldn't send my kid to a school that makes no distinctions between 'special needs kids' and normal kids. Just imagine the fun trying to teach crack babys to read alongside normal kids. That'll help their self esteem, and it would never hold back the regular kids. Well, Hope didn't need an education to succeed. Maybe she plans on passing her trust fund on to JT. Rumor has it they are tying in the Geek with the Ireland storyline. Thats fine with me because I know it will never happen. Another rumor I heard was that Brandon is going to be cut loose. Time will tell I guess. 10/09/01 I just can't watch the stupid show right now, especially with other people around. Sure, a drunk Grunta is good for a laugh, but seeing her wandering around sucking on a bottle of Tequila just reminded me about how far out of character they are willing to take people to get a laugh or cause problems. What was that whole shpiel about the evils of being a reporter. This from the network that interrupts programs for some of the stupidest news events. I liked how they remembered that Jack and Jennifer 'used to be reporters'. I sure wish they would tell us what the heck it is that they do now besides bicker. Jenn was working as a barmaid in ireland, now she is an unemployed homeowner in Salem. STUPID! When Alice was mouthing off to the reporters I was wishing somebody would tell her off for a change. In your city, is the wife of your hospitals chief of staff deified like that? Why are the Hortons so important in Salem? The only one of them who amounted to anything was Tom. Mickey would have to be the horton child that did the best and he is a moron. The rest of them are a bunch of kooks. Craig is chief of staff now, and nobody treats Nancy with any respect, and Ghoulish McToolish is the high school pariah. Oh goody, Mercenary Moron and Sons to the rescue while Jan wanders about the hotel lobby clutching herself. I wonder if John will boff Kate before or after the truth about JT comes out... If Basic Black starts, you can bet the Dimera feud is on hold. Not that it matters because J Mascolo now has a job on another soap. I wonder how the teens will figure into Basic Black. I know Jason has been secretly taking courses in dress design, but what about the rest of the kids. Oh god, fashion model Chloe. I'm sorry, but her hips are too wide, Meem is too busty, and Belle is too short. Well, if Misty Circle can be a model, so can Alice Horton. Gosh, it occurs to me that Hope has fashion experience. I wonder if she will get a job.... NAAAAHHH!!!! Speaking of Hope, I hear she ran off and stuck Alice with the Tuscany tab the other day. This is a woman who lives off her life insurance settlement and social security who needs a walker to get from place to place. "See ya Gran, thanks for the chow, gotta dash!". No wonder Alice is hitting the bottle! 10/04/01 supplemental Har Har... The Meem is telling Brady he is all studly and he is eating it up, then she compares him to Leonardo Dicaprio and Justin Timberlake. I give him that much studliness... Since when would Kate be doing a prayer vigil with Bo and Hope? Thats just dumb. We endure years of Kate scheming against Maple Bar which I approved of by the by, and now Hope is asking for a miracle for Phillip. Well, if this was Passions a light would have appeared above Phillip and he would have awakened and sang : I believe I could love the geek and be worthy of her.... If I ONLY HAD A BRAIN Seriously, if Phil hits his head, BIG DEAL, maybe the air between his ears gets a little shaken up, but theres nothing in there to damage. Ok, it IS Hopes fault that the kids got stuck on the island and were almost killed... Not only that, but who the hell drinks tequila out of the bottle. Ole Alice is like "One is my limit... Then I go upstairs and smoke some crack, just two rocks worth, thats my limit... And get in Toms Ferarri and go play chicken with the Salem PD". Well whatever... Is it still the same day when Jack was stumbling drunk or not. Whats with this show? 10/02/01 : Apparently the writers have decided to add insult to jans injury by giving her ghonnorea (sp?). Good grief. I guess that means that Paul caught it from Faye since she is the only person that Paul has been with since he got out of jail. Either that or the bug snuck in through the back door while he was in jail. Nice of them to give us all these joyful things to contemplate I won't even comment on the island nonsense except to say that the geek seems to have evolved into a purely annoying and bitchy character at this point. I thought she hated phillip. She wouldn't even ride in the same plane with him, but she has always been a fickle geek. I liked how Bradys wetsuit would 'slow him down' but not effect WonderGeek and her sidekick The Meem. All the Jack and Jennifer stuff was OK, but poor Grunta von Hamhock. The only nice person in town, rich, beautiful, and nobody will give her the time of day. Lesee... Eric tosses her and jumps Misty Circle, Asstin gets her all hot and bothered and then goes back to SAMI hahahha and now Jack tells her he is gay. Well, Grunta... You are a far cry from that ball where all the men were tripping over themselves over in DOOL France. Face it, the men of salem are a bunch of eunichs. When does school start, November??? Oh yeah, that idiot Phil got hit in the head. Maybe it will shake some of the cobwebs! Avast, ye swabs! Did you 'get tempted' while I was gone. Its funny how just after the passions kids have a prom, the days kids have a prom, then just after the passions kids go to warlock island the days kids go to temptation island. The problem is that Tabatha and Timmy are funny and harmless while Paul Walker Mendez is disgusting. In the past, these violent abusive fathers like Curtis Reed and Patches dad were more dramatic though. Who cares who abused Misty Circle the CEO. I can't feel sorry for Jan either. She is such a one note idiot. I do feel sorry for Jason though. Imagine dating that hell hag for all that time and NOT getting any. Or is there a different explanation? Check out Amycougars site and read Jasons Island Diary. This is the funnyest thing ever although it is *I* who first pointed out Jasons loafers were the only thing keeping him from floating away. Poor guy. His unrequited love for Phillip is tearing him apart and he turns to rum which is his only friend now. To all those who thought I was too hard on the Jamaican Jerk I say : HAH!!! Now do you see what an irresponsible idiot he is. While he is off smoking his stash those teens are all having sexual liasons and falling in pits. What the heck happened to helping the environment. Heck, the Jamaican Jerk has probably accellerated global warming with all the smoke from his bong. How many times can Belle hit her head before she has to give up her position as quarterback of the Forty Niners? I watched a minute today and the only way I could tell the TV was on was there was audio. Then that idiot geek came on and I lunged for the remote in a flying tackle and switched to CNBC to watch my retirement account dwindle. Cajundoggies "amazing" predictions for Winter 2001 : When school finally starts in December, Jan and Meem will not have to clean toilets. Brady and Jason will hook up which triggers similar desires in Geekly and Jan. The whole Dimera feud plot will be dropped with some lame excuse HornLena will slake her summer long pent up horniness Sami will leave the show Thanks for the letters while I was gone. No, I wasn't in jail, but doing something secret for the government. I am not sure I will do this page weekly anymore or not, but stay tuned. |
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