This is the collection that started it all! Take some highschool students, too much free time, and a little story program on a school computer ... and you get AMALOT! That freakish creation that boggles the mind of even the most brilliant rocket scientists!
Be afraid, be VERY afraid! Because the original stories are absolute gems ... I guaranttee you will be rolling on the floor with laughter after reading these! And if not ... well, then you don't have much of a sense of humor, you poor person, do you?
Note: The authors of these various works will remain anonymous for the time being ... but I think we all know who they are, no? ^.~
Note #2: None of these stories actually have titles. What's written in bold are basically just descriptions used to refer to the stories, NOT the actual title of the story itself, ok?
So, like, this is this planet called Amalot. And it’s in space, a zillion miles from earth. And then Vicky appears, wearing a swimming suit. And then Emily appears, the slave girl/whore spice. Chasing after Vicky, she is a slave for you. She’s crying softly after her night long orgy. It was with 200 people. They were really nice.
Imagine this, a world with no computers or keyboards. This is a slave for you. She’s sitting on his lap, Emily is. He lives in a world without the internet. That is cool yet weird. This is a slave world.
THE END
Cabbage:
My favorite word ever is “cabbage.” First of all, I must clarify that it is not the meaning of the word that interests me. It is the sound of the word. When I say it out-loud, it makes me think of the springtime, when the world is renewed and birds are chirping. Cabbage is a funny word. My belief is that what makes it funny also makes it really depressing. If you say the word “cabbage” over and over many times, you will probably laugh, but after a while, you will be grief-stricken and what-not because you will feel like having some cabbage or writing it down on the walls. One thing that really bursts my bubble is that cabbage is the most discriminated-against fruit/vegetable in the entire world. Could one reason be that it smells badly? I think the main reason that cabbage is not and will never be part of society is that people just won’t accept a word with two “b’s” next to each other and a “g” near the end of it.
Lala and Robby
Once there was this girl, and her name was La La (not like that gay thing on TV). Anyway, she always wore this smelly sweatshirt everyday to classes, and it was so big. It was so big she’d just tie a piece of string around it and she’d have a dress! She didn’t have to wear anything else. One day she didn’t go to classes, and she sat by this fountain and done looked in it. There was this weird face, or something. It looked like a head, and kind of like her. It had her nasty grey/white hair and blood-shot eyes. She would poke at it and stuff, and she’d kinda grin because it was really weird. Lol. So she took off her nasty sweatshirt and threw it in the water. “Away you go,” she said under her breath as she jumped in the fountain and held her head down. She couldn’t do it, so this man came and helped her out. After he did the deed, he sat looking at the two weird faces. He thought they were funny looking, so he, like, took a picture of it. His name was Robby the bear, because even though he was so small he was really big (if you know what I mean).NE way it was kewl and stuff because he took the sweatshirt and put it on, but it made him wet so he took a match and tried to warm it up. Poor Bear, he just kinda died. In flames, and no one picked up the mess. It was kinda like pudding but at the same time it kinda looked like him. You wouldn’t like pudding if you saw this. It was really nasty looking and smelled like “You know.” He was a feek, the feekiest feek and he died for your sins.
Amanda the Panda
There was this woman and her name was Amanda because she looked like a panda bear you’d most likely see in a zoo. So she woke up one day, not knowing where she was, and she had no idea where she was – after all, she didn’t know where she was. She was in this concrete room and on the wall (which was quite dusty and decrepit) it said “Amanda the Panda, you are a feeker.” She cried out, not knowing how to react to this (as she was quite “retart”ed) none the less she ran away but soon realized that she was quite naked, so she found this dirty hiking thong on the ground and put it on. Too bad, she didn’t know there was fungus growing on it. She also found two pieces of foam and glued them to the bottom of her feet as boots. She was in full high heel formation. When walking, someone grabbed her and put a gun in her mouth. Did they pull the trigger?
The End
Mindy, aka Louisa May Alcott
Once upon a time there was this girl named Melinda, but she preferred people to call her Mindy. But I didn’t like caling her that because it reminded me of the ‘70s show “Mork and Mindy”. And let me tell you, it really disturbed me. Nonetheless, I called her Mindy, as not to hurt her feelings and then we were, like, walking and she was like:
“I think I’m the Louisa May Alcott incarnate.”
And I was like whoa, what is this broad talking about?
So we sat down and she took out some pudding which I kinda thought looked like “you know.” And we just sat there day and night. And in the bright morning, she stood up and out came the pudding.
“Okay, bye” she said. Pudding was running down her leg.
Louisa May Alcott, 1897
Gretchen Gets Pierced
Gretchin was finally pierced. However, she was pained by her new “insertion.” So pained, in fact, that she just had to sit by a tree all day. Moving her legs would only cause a throb of pain to move throughout her body, her hands clutching the scruffy grass surrounding her and throwing her head forward and moaning “Noooooooooooo!” This man came around, and he sat next to her and looked at her real hard. And she didn’t know what to do! She pulled a hand through her frizzy red hair and it smelled kind of like fish. Gretchin always smelled like fish. The man didn’t like it that much, she thought, and he left this keyboard from a really old computer on it.
“Fish,” she typed in with her tongue, since her body hurt so much.
Nothing happened.
“Slave 4 U” she typed, and then she thought she heard the keyboard talking at her, but it was really just some goose pecking at a carcus. It kind of looked like her, at least from the tree where she was sitting.
She glued some foam onto the heels of her feet, and it made her a lot taller.
Thank goodness now she could walk away, and she walked away indeed. The keyboard had pudding all over it, but at least she could walk.
The small prices we pay for our freedom.
That's it for the Original Collection! I hope you enjoyed this, and will return to Amalot in order to inspect the other collections!
Erotic, yet humorous: Amorous Amalot!
