Amorous Amalot

Welcome to the newest section of Sexy Government's Online Brothel, Amorous Amalot! This is the 'humor' section of my brothel, because, after all, sometimes you just need a little laugh to dissolve all the sexual tension between yourself and the person with whom you will be spending the evening.

So sit back, relax, sip your dry martini, and allow a few chuckles to pass through your lips as you affect the perfect visage of ennui for this evening.

First, however, the standard DISCLAIMER: If you are under 18 or have a weak stomach, the contents of the following page may not be for you. There's some really nasty stuff down there ... sex, excrement, foul language, you name it! So if you don't think you can take it, then don't read it. And if you do think you can, but it turns out you can't ... for goodness sakes, FIND THE NEAREST BATHROOM AND RUN THERE IMMEDIATELY!! Ahem. That is all. You may proceed.

The Amalot Collections

The Original Collection! You don't want to miss this collection of the original stories that began the legend we call: Amalot!

The Contest Collection! Some of the best stories in the entirity of Amalot! Laugh yourself silly with these works of written art!

The Typewriter Collection! Written on a typewriter. How GHETTO is that?

The BM Collection! Written with the thought of a BM in mind. Horribly nasty, yet delightfully funny! Just don't read while eating or on a full stomach, or if you have a weak stomach. Because then you might throw up ... or feel the sudden urge to BM.

Humorous Notions

NEW!!!It's Justin Timberlake! Therefore, it must be funny!

Weird Judge Judy Dream This is a weird dream I had about Judge Judy. It's really weird, and funny, if you like that sort of thing!

Blow Job Etiquette Ever wondered how to give a proper blow job? Now's your chance!

Don't Leave Home Without Reading This! This is especially dedicated to all the government employees, who know EXACTLY what this is talking about ...

Monique vs. Smarter Child! Ever wanted to go up against a computer, with hilarious consequences? Well Monica's high school pal, Monique, did just that, matching wits with, and sorely abusing, that joke of AIM, Smarter Child!

Random Shit

How to Become a Fuck Master ... I'm not sure I would label this "humor" per se, although there are definitely some humorous moments in this! A definite MUST READ for EVERYONE!! Especially men who need to learn how to please a lady (i.e. ALL MEN)

Believe it or Not, a collection of strange, yet true, facts that make me so scared that I've wet my pants ... from laughter, of course.

Amusing Links

Robrob8.com Heh, this site is CRAZY, I LOVE IT!! It's a HILARIOUS place!

Liquid Generation this site has some seriously FUCKED UP SHIT!! Be sure to check out the little video about Britney's Breasts. It cracked me up!

Smartania This is basically a site that mocks anything and everything. Whatever you do, don't let them know about the existence of my website ... I hate being mocked, I'm a sensitive little slut, you know. *Sniff, sniff* DON'T MOCK ME DAMMIT!!! DAMN YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem. Ok. I'm better now.

Tina's Humor Tina has a very good sense of humor!

When Virgins Run Amock... This was kind of random, but I thought it was HILARIOUS!! Virgins and sex ... well, they don't mix, do they? Except when they're trying to be funny. Or whatever. (This one's for you, Monica! Enjoy the slim pickins!)

Well, that's it for now ... let me know what you think about this new section!

Also, be sure to come back soon, for much NEW content, including links to several HILARIOUS sites, as well as more random, offensive, yet humorous junk that I find in random places and then put up here because in my warped mind ... it's just funny.

Return soon to check for new developments!