John Main

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Selected Quotes

From my favorite John movies. Obviously, Say Anything is the most quotable, but there are a few other pearls of wisdom out there. From John/John's character unless otherwise noted.

Say Anything. . .
1989, written and directed by Cameron Crowe

A career? I've thought about this quite a bit sir and I would have to say considering what's waiting out there for me, I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I dont want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed as a career. I dont want to do that. My father's in the army. He wants me to join, but I can't work for that corporation, so what I've been doing lately is kick-boxing, which is a new sport...as far as career longevity, I dont really know. I cant figure it all out tonight, sir, so I'm just gonna hang with your daughter.

I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.

Remember this... you used to be fun! You used to be warped and twisted and hilarious.

Joe: Dude, where'd she dump you, man?
Lloyd: In the car.
Denny: Oh man, your car? Man, dissed in the Malibu. That's your castle, man.

Rebecca: Hey, I know this is a strange thing to say, but maybe Diane Court really likes Lloyd.
Corey: If you were Diane Court, would you honestly fall for Lloyd? (long pause) Yeah.
DC: Yeah!
Rebecca: Yeah.

Maybe I didn't really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we're all just hurling towards an acropolis, in which case it's not your fault. I'm been thinking about all these things and....you're probably standing there monitoring. And one more thing -- about the letter. NUKE IT, FLAME IT, DESTROY IT -- it hurts me to know it's out there. Later.

Diane: I just can't have any social life right now.
Lloyd: Don't worry about it. We're just having coffee. We'll be anti-social.
Diane: Be friends?
Lloyd: Yeah. With potential.

Grosse Pointe Blank
1997, directed by George Armitage

They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?"

Debi: Everybody's coming back to take stock of their lives. You know what I say? Leave your livestock alone.

Debi: So, what have you been doing with your life?
Martin: Professional Killer.
Debi: Oh...you get dental with that?

Martin: I'm a professional killer.
Paul: Do you have to do post-graduate work for that?

Martin: Oatman? Don't hang up. Listen, I didn't kill anyone -- except some guy tried to kill me, so if I see that guy again, I'm definitely gonna kill him, but I'm not going to kill anybody else. I'm on my way to the reunion now with Debi, but I'm just a little nervous, and I'd like to do a phoner.
Oatman: O.K., repeat after me. "I am at home with the me. I am rooted in the me who is on this adventure."
Martin: I am at home with the me, I am rooted in the me who is on this adventure.
Oatman: Good. Now take a deep breath, and realize that this is me breathing.
Martin: Wait, I'm confused. Do you want me to say it or do you want me to realize it?
Oatman: What?
Martin: About the breathing.
Oatman: Say it.
Martin: This is me breathing.
Oatman: Good, now keep doing that for about twenty minutes.
Martin: Listen, I got to go.
Oatman: O.K. Keep it up. Don't kill anybody.
Martin: Right!

High Fidelity
2000, directed by Stephen Frears, based on the book by Nick Hornby

Which came first, the music or the misery?

Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable, or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have got to me earlier.

It would be nice to think that since I was 14, times have changed. Relationships have become more sophisticated. Females less cruel. Skins thicker. Instincts more developed. But there seems to be an element of that afternoon in everything that's happened to me since. All my romantic stories are a scrambled version of that first one.

Barry: Holy shi-ite. What the fuck is that?
Dick: It's the new Belle and Sebastian.
Rob: It's the record we've been listening to and enjoying, Barry.
Barry: Well, that's unfortunate, because it sucks ass.

I'm gonna tell you something for your own good, pal. That is the worst fucking sweater I've ever seen. It's a Cosby sweater. -- Barry

We were frightened of being left alone for the rest of our lives. Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being left alone for the rest of their lives. At 26, we were of that disposition.

We're no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We're on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but just for tonight, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five. -- Barry


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