Author’s Note: It’s currently 5:05 in the morning as I write this. I just have this
fic idea that I can’t get out of my mind. And that’s a bad thing when you want
to sleep, neh? “Yawn” Oh well… hopefully my professors don’t actually expect me
to do work today. ^_~ Yes, I know the premise of this fanfic isn’t exactly
original, but I hope that the spin I took on it is. This fic will probably be
several parts, but it shouldn’t be too
long. The yoai factor in here is great, but I tried to handle everything in a different
mood than I usually do. No suggestive jokes or anything like that. Any sex is
blunt, but mellow and meaningful- which is different for me to say the least.
In fact, this entire fic is different for me just in general. This story is
dedicated to a very special Angel of Music. *hugs* I do hope that you enjoy it.
By Tsuki-Moon
“Think of me, think of me
fondly when we’ve said goodbye.
Remember me, once in awhile,
please promise me you’ll try…”
- The Phantom of the Opera
“Are you sure it has to be this way?” she asked. Her
face was pale, almost as white as her jacket. The man nodded.
“If this system is truly to work, we need this to go
into effect immediately. We saw with Marymara that anyone with access to high
amounts of military equipment or military codes is just too dangerous. This is
not an ending for them, though. It’s really a beginning. Just think of what
they’ve been missing by holding those secrets in.”
Relena looked up, her eyes a bit glassy and pink
from her silent tears. “I… I guess you’re right.”
“No!” Noin jumped to her feet and slammed her fist
down on the table. “You can’t be serious! Not every soldier is going to allow
his or her mind to be erased. It’s obsurred!”
“We don’t require every soldier, Ms. Noin. There are
only ten that we actually mandate. Anyone else can volunteer. And, if it makes
you feel any better, you are not on our list.”
“But Zechs is?”
The man hesitated. “Actually… no. He’s not.”
Relena looked shocked. “I’m not saying that I want
my brother taken from me again, but how can you say that you’re being fair if
you don’t erase the most destructive soldier ever- the one that practically
destroyed the earth!”
“Because he needs those memories to keep from being
destructive, Miss Relena. That, I believe, is the difference between him and
the other pilots. The others will be normal, everyday men and women once the
have been erased. Zechs Marquise, however, would be different. He still
wouldn’t be Milliardo Peacecraft.” Relena’s eyes watered at that. Noin stayed
calm. The man at the other end of the table just sighed and took out a piece of
paper. “I’ve cleared this with the families and acquaintances of all of the
pilots except for five. I thought you should do the honors, miss.”
Relena looked up, a pained expression on her face.
“I… I can’t. I haven’t even talked to them since…” Relena shook her head and
put her hand over her mouth. “Are you sure
this is necessary?”
“Yes.” The man nodded again, straightening his
glasses. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ll do it.” Noin sighed. “I may as well. Poor
boys.” Noin picked up the list and ran her eyes over it. Sure enough, the only
five names that she recognized were the five Gundam pilots. “Poor, poor boys. I
think that they’ll lose more from this than you think.”
“It’s for the betterment of the earth, Ms. Lucrecia.
Remember that.”
Noin smiled. “Of course I’ll remember. I’m not on
your list.” She shook her head with another sad smile and walked away.
S * S * S * S * S
The room was silent after the news had been broken. “Won’t that be weird?” Quatre finally asked, “Not remembering anything? How can we live with so many holes in our minds?”
Noin shook her head. “There are artificial memories
that will be implanted based on your personality and new family. Quatre will be
staying with his sisters, Trowa with his sister, while Duo, Heero, and Wufei
all have adoptive families.”
“So, we will be living a lie?” Wufei half-sneered.
Noin sighed and decided not to sugarcoat it.
“To be perfectly honest, yes. But, as the professor
said, ‘it’s for the betterment of the earth.’” All five boys nodded.
“We’ll still know each other, right?” Quatre asked
with a smile. His smile soon faded, though, when he saw Noin’s pained
expression. “N-no. No!” Quatre jumped to his feet, but was puled back down on
the couch by Trowa, who looked like he was using all his will to keep his cool
mask. The two pilots hugged, Trowa lacing his arms around the smaller pilot’s
waist, as if he would never let go. Noin sighed and looked at the other pilots.
Wufei looked deep in thought, but Duo and Heero were just staring at each
other. Noin had to force down a sob as well. This was torture to see.
A clack sounded from the doorway and all six figures
in the room looked up to see the Professor Avery, the man in charge of the
while project. He straightened his glasses and walked into the room carefully.
“Thank you, Noin. I felt that it would have been impersonal if I told them.”
Noin rolled her eyes and left the room without a word. She figured that if she
had spoken, she would have shouted at Avery, and that wouldn’t have done any
good. No, no good at all.
Aver tucked his datapad under his arm. “Thank you so
much for coming to the compound.”
“We didn’t really have a choice, if I remember
correctly.” Heero stated flatly. Avery smiled and nodded.
“No, I guess that you didn’t. Well, now you know why
you are here at least. “Project Z” was designed to erase all lingering violence
by erasing the memories of everyone that can still be considered a dangerous
threat. I am sorry to inform you that you do fall under that category.”
“Of course we do.” Trowa stated calmly, still
holding the other blond pilot in his arms, “After all, we saved the earth.” The
sarcasm practically dripped from Trowa’s voice and Duo let a soft chuckle
escape from his lips. Not his usual ringing laughter, just a small chuckle.
“When will this erasing take place?” Wufei asked.
Avery smiled politely. “Tonight actually.”
“What?!” Duo started and jumped to his feet. Heero
made no move to stop him. In fact, he looked like he wanted to jump up as well.
Only if Heero jumped up, everyone doubted if Avery would be alive afterwards.
“What do you mean? We only have a few hours of our own lives left!”
“Well… yes, I guess you could say that.” Duo’s face
fell and he collapsed back on the couch. Heero didn’t move to comfort him. He
was to busy thinking. “And, I am afraid, that you can not leave the compound
for those hours. However, we don’t want this to seem too cold.” Trowa snorted
at that comment, but Avery still continued, “So, what we’ve decided is that you
can all pick what the last thing you want to see is. It can be a person, an
object, a picture- anything we can put in a room.”
There was a long pause after that one. “Can…” Quatre
looked up and hesitated. “Can you erase our memories while we sleep?”
“Yes. Why? Is that what you’d like?”
“Well… I don’t think I could just sit in a chair and
just let my memories be taken away. I was just thinking… if Trowa and I could
have a few last, um, moments and then fall asleep and then you can erase our
memories.” Trowa smiled a sad smile and kissed Quatre on the cheek. Avery
nodded.
“Yes, that sounds like that would be fine.” He wrote
something down on his datapad.
“I don’t know.” Duo smirked. “Sound’s like a ploy
for sex if I ever saw one.” Quatre blushed bright red and Duo laughed.
“I would like a small table in front of me before
you take my memories. On that table I want a rose, lavender inscents burning,
and this jade marble.” Wufei pulled a small green sphere out of his pocket.
“And, I was wondering if you could let me keep this. Incorporate it into my new
memories somehow.”
“Yes, I’m sure we could do that.” He wrote down his
notes and turned to Heero and Duo. “Anyone else know?”
Heero sighed. “I think Trowa and Quatre’s idea is
sweet, but I couldn’t give up my life while sleeping. That’d be as stupid as
dying in bed. I could never do that.” Heero hesitated. “Can we listen to
something as well as see?”
Avery nodded. “I don’t see why not.”
“In that case, the last thing I want to see is Duo
and the last thing I want to hear is a song called ‘Grind Me in the Gears’ by
Edwin McCain.” Duo let out a gasp and smiled.
“Yeah,” he sighed, “Me too.”
Avery nodded. “Fine. In about four hours you will
have new lives without memory of violence.”
“Or each other.” Quatre sighed.
Avery hesitated. “Yes. And, no one that has had
their memory erased has said to have had memories when seeing someone that they
knew in their past. However…” he trailed off, taking in a moment the sweet
picture that was Trowa and Quatre. “…If you do happen to come across each other
again, and it was truly meant to be, something will click.” Quatre nodded and
hugged Trowa tighter. Avery left to go prepare the three rooms.
S * S * S * S * S
Wufei let the scent of the inscents fill him and the
image of the rose and the marble burn into his eyelids. Remember them, he thought,
never forget. Never forget your past. Only the weak live a lie. He felt the
earpiece that they had put on his hum a bit. His eyelids felt heavy and it was
getting hard to think. Remember, he
thought, you are not weak.
S * S * S * S * S
Quatre let out a cry and pushed his face into Trowa’s damp shoulder. The slowness was excruciating, almost painful, but he didn’t dare tell Trowa to speed up. This was the last time they’d be together like this, after all. May as well try to make it last as long as possible. Avery had explained to them how it would work. When he and Trowa were fast asleep, Avery would hook little earpieces on them and their memories would be replaced. Plain and simple. Quatre moaned as Trowa pressed a little harder. He felt the sweat beading on his brow again and starting to trickle down his neck. Trowa’s face was pressed into Quatre’s neck, wet as could be. It took Quatre a moment to realize that it wasn’t sweat that was making his face wet. It was tears. Trowa was sobbing. Quatre let a few tears trickle out of his eyes as well and soon they were holding each other, faces throats, and shoulders wet with each other's tears and sweat and life. Memories pounded through their heads and they wanted to hold on to every single one. They knew that they couldn’t, though. Trowa remembered- vaguely- when he has amnesia and how hard it was to live everyday not knowing what was a dream and what was a memory. Would this be like that? He didn’t know. He didn’t care too much either. He just wanted Quatre. He could smell sweet shampoo and rainwater and sweat in his angel’s hair and he wanted to memorize that scent, never let it go. He never wanted to lose Quatre.
They started up again, their mouths probing for one
another’s skin. Their hands found each other and intertwined. Bound by ropes of
sweat and sex and love, the two lovers carefully fell asleep with only one plea
of one another. Remember me…
S * S * S * S * S
“My frozen spirit aches. I slip another day. Start to lose my grip. Find another way…” Heero whispered the song lyrics in Duo’s ear, holding him in his arms softly. Duo bit his lip, forcing down a wave of tears. This song had been playing on Duo’s stereo when he and Heero had first kissed. They had kissed again during this song at a Rave, which was the first time they ever showed affection in front of their fellow pilots. Or anyone for that matter.
Soon, Duo was crying and there was no way he could force himself to stop. Tears splashed off his face, onto Heero’s green tanktop- the same one he had worn almost everyday for three years. He clutched those strong shoulders and looked at his love. Duo started at what he saw. A tear. One, small, single tear trickled down Heero’s cheek. His eyes were full of pain and anguish, but the tear meant everything to Duo. Heero never cried. “I love you.’ Duo whimpered.
“I know.” Heero smiled, brushing his love’s bangs away from his gorgeous, violet eyes. “I love you too.”
The soldiers started to pull them away from each other, but their hands were locked together. Duo clutched Heero’s hand as hard as he could. He didn’t want to let Heero go. He couldn’t let him go! Heero’s hand slipped out of his grip and they both were sat down in their designated chairs.
“I’ve given up my ghosts. Barely breathe your name. Offer up myself. Pray you’ll do the same. For love that might escape. Well, that’s my biggest fear. It grinds me to a pulp. Grind me in the gears…” The song was on its final chorus now.
“Heero…” Duo started. Heero shook his head.
“Don’t say anything, Duo. You don’t have to. I’ll remember you.”
Duo nodded, a few more tears squeezing out of his eyes before his thoughts blurred and everything went dark.