Stories

Gather around now kiddies. Its story time! (shut up ian. just shut up.) *disclaimer-stories may and probably are extremly dramitized

9/2/04

Summer came and went, just as pyper did. She returned for a brief period on leave and then departed for the j-pan...I miss her, but I'm confident she's doing well. I've officially moved back into college, and am once again pretending to be a serious college student. You can write me if you so desire at:

1400 Washington Ave
Dutch Quad, Box #0392
Albany, NY, 12222

Or call me at (518) 442-2007

Just wanted to let the world know that I live...at college. Yea. Keep it real kids.

Bottom Line-Call, write or visit. Any way ='s victory for the company of LenKu.

5/16/04

Yea...that last update was totally there the entire time...^_^...Anyway, for all those interested, pypski-chan has officially graduated boot-camp and is now a sailor! (congratz again love). I went and saw her last week and she's doing really good, and looks quite spiffy in her sailor uniform. She says she's tired, and that she doesn't get alot of rest, but she really loves it there. She was supposed to ship out this friday to san antonio, but I guess not. Anyway, she told me this morning(she called on her cell phone, w00t) that she'd be going sometime this week. She sends the following inspirational message-"Um...I don't know." ah, pyper, it's just not gonna be super without you. I love you sunshine, and we all send our love and support.

Bottom Line- It's just not summer without pyper's poorly planed and seldom executed camping excursions to the side of her house...

5/8/04

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PYPIE!!!

3/21/04

Hey everybody. I know its been awhile, but I figured now would be a fine time to update. Illandir IMed me last night, offering encouragement in this dark time. For those of you who don't know, pypies gone off into the navy, and I miss her dearly. I figured I should write here and tell you guys how's she and I are doing. Pyper's doing fine, for those concerned. She says its hard and that shes tired. The navy gave her glasses to wear, and she says they look bad, but I'm sure they're ok. If anyone would like to write my sunshine a letter her address is:

SR Freehill, Jennifer
Division 924 Ship 4
Recruit Training Command
3301 Indiana Street
Great Lakes, IL 60088

Thats all for now guys...I'm a little under the weather,so send me some oj or something.

Bottom Line: Me and pypie are doing peachy keen.

10/27/03

Hello all. Just thought you all would enjoy some of my writing. 9 out of 10 readers agree this is a good read and soviets suck. Basically this was a visual art project, where we had to take a picture, and that would serve as the introduction or first third of our story. Then, I had to write the middle, which is about 1000 words. Finally, I got a third and final picture to conclude our story. So here is the story, and if you can't get the pictures the intro is here and the conclusion is here. Enjoy.

Bottom Line- I love creative writing assignments. Its like telling me to write about ninjas and robots.

10/17/03

J0. Just thought you should all know that I was playing Adventure for the atari and was forced to kill a dragon, who was dastardly tring to steal my magnet. I was just like yo, dragon, suck swerde!...Thats right...swerde..not sword...check this sexy animation of me getting stabby on teh dragon.

Bottom Line: Someone go check on willah...If he got the imagery of that animation he may have very well have died of laughter.

10/12/03

Sup guys. This update is dedicated to all of those poor guys on floor nine of Mohawk tower who just opened their doors...and Cera for telling me to update, along with pypski, who I hope is doing good in Chicago.

And of course, this update is also dedicated to Steve, who life was tragically ended on this day by...well, me and Jake.

Now I know alot of you don't know who Steve is. Lemme fill you in...About 3 weeks ago, Woody, my room mate, had a bowl of chicken noodle soup. He only ate half of it, and just let the other half sit on his desk. Well, that other half just sat there. Two weeks later, I looked at it and was amazed...It had evoled into a life form...a moldy, yet friendly life form...Known as Steve. Every thing was cool between us and Steve for a while. We would chill out, he would chill. He kept quiet, didn't bother anyone. He was over all a nice guy...until one day...one fateful day....

So I'm standing there, just chilling, and Steve is like, "Yo, dude...Smell me." Now you may think I'm crazy right now claiming that the mold can talk, but listen, Steve was one evolved mother fucker. So I trust Steve, I mean, why shouldn't I? So I pick Steve up, hold him by my nose, and take a big wiff. Steve, our pet mold, whom we have loved and cherished, then tried to take my life. To say Steve smelled bad was an understatment. Steve smells worse than new jersey. Steve smells worse than the toliet if you don't flush and just keep on using it for like 3 days. Steve smelled worse than our bathroom. I just started coughing and gaging. I eventually puked from the wretched stench...It was bad. So basically I decided Steve must die for his attempt on my life. But, I didn't want to kill Steve without having photographic evidence that at one point in my life I had partical ownership of a pet mold. Thus we had to wait till Rick's camera had batteries. And thus it has batteries. So Jake snaped pictures of Steve and I prepared to kill him the only way I knew how. Boiling water, from my GE hot pot. Evil to slay evil I say. The water boiled...all way in readiness...Jake readied the camera...I the hot pot...With my soul in purity I poured...and we watched Steve die...Then we smelled something...I had smelled it before...it was Steve's deadly oder...only know he launched it into the open air, not just around himself...I hastially covered him with a rag...

After four more rounds of boiling water Steve was put to rest forever...And thanks to yankee candle Jake bought it only smells in the bathroom now...

Good bye steve...I really doubt you'll be missed to much...We'll talk of you fondly every now and then but in the long run, it's better that your gone.

Bottom Line: Don't ever get a pet mold...unless you want an amusing story accompanied by a not so amusing stench.

9/1/03

Yea. Its about 3am in the morning. I need to update. Uhhh...I dunno why I decided to up date all of a sudden. I think I'll be updating more often then usual cuz college may just give me some free time here and there. If any of you guys out there want to contact me at my pad in college heres teh info-

LenKu Amada
1400 Washington Ave
Indian Quad Box# 2587
Albany, NY 12222

Me phone# is 518 442 8857

Also note, I'm playing neopets alot now. I should have a sexy house within the next few days, time given. If you start a pet send the Kamidehi a neo mail and Ill give you something....no promises it will be good though.

Yea. I really feel tired so its time to wrap up with SESOSO.

Ya see, as a team building exercise the ad wizard ra's here decides to have us take a big peice of paper, write down our schedules, and then, in non class time, what we planed to do. Now because I really wasn't feeling anal/psychic enought to say exactly what I was doing at those given moments, I just wrote "sleeping, eating, studying or slacking off" in my first open space. Now since I am notoriously lazy, I didn't want to write that 20 more times. Thus, I turned it into an acronym, SESOSO. So if you see me using this in an away message or text, you know. And if you come crying to me about how you don't know what sesoso is then I'll know you don't read my webpage and that you must be neutralized swiftly. And by neutralized, I mean robbed. Later.

Bottom Line- College is fun, but I miss pyper and her ramen.

7/8/03

Quite frankly I don't know what time it is in metric time. I lost my tracker so now I have to make a new one. Expect metric time back sometime withen the next 3 months.

Next the comic- Yea. Compressed but not enough. If you want to see seasons 2 + 3, just ask and I'll show you. Uhh, whose that again? Ian and pypie are the only ones who want to see the comic? Thought so.

Time for a rant. Adult Swim, the premire place of l33t late night catoons has been doing a pretty bang up job recently, showing anime that rox teh fuk. Unfortunatly, this streak was rudly inturupted last night. Why? Oh boy.
The normal run down is Kikaider, Inuyasha, Reign and Lupin. Kikaider is awesome,(if not confusing) Inuyasha sports a large sword(always good) and I don't like Reign(worst freakign art work) or Lupin(do I need to say anything?). Now last night they decided to change this lineup to the following- Big O, Kikaider, Trigun, Lupin. Where to start.
Big O. I believe this to be one of the worst animes ever made. Its about a guy, and a robot and an android. The robot is big. The andriod is sarcastic. The main hero can't remember his real name. Where could such a solid formula go wrong? Just about everywhere from what I've seen. Lets start with the fact that this is the unedited version of Big O. OH boy, that means they cut out all the crap that was to hot for 5 o'clock in the after noon. Too hot for tv crap is still crap folks. The only thing they cut out, by the way, is the loading screen of Big O. Big O's got a little circular monitor in its cockpit, which in this wonderful unedited version, scrolled by "Cast ye in the name of God- Ye Not Guility". Wow. I'm so glad cartoon network was able to risk the possible controversy of having the word God scroll across the screen for a half second. Wow. And now, from seeing this, the character of Roger Smith is further developed from Shitty McShitterton to Not guility in the name of God which he cast. Whoopied do.
And to stop me from burning down the cartoon network headquaters, they have put Trigun on. Which is awesome. Cuz Trigun rox.

As a final note, I got my laptop of doom today, and it is roxxor to maxxor.

Bottom Line: I hate Big O almost as much as I hate Big O unedited

2/24/03

MY-0000 Jwoly, 9th week there of, Tuesday, 84;9

Konbanwa all! Archiving complete!! See, I was never planning on archiving, but then angelfire decided to be a dick and delete all of my old stories and not tell me. Fucking grand. But, thanks to the efforts of pyper, we can now enjoy tasty archives, brimming with profanity and pure, unadulturated hate for Mike. Well done.

Today was my hockey team's second game, (third if you count the forfeit), and, unfortuately, our last. We lost to Jeff White's team, and it was depressing. Very depressing. Everyone blames Mike for the loss, but currently I'm feeling some rage for the individual who caused our team to have 2 penalty shots against us because he couldn't side arm the puck when he caught it....It doesn't matter....even though we lost by one point, and having the laws of subtraction apply, gives us 1 more point (us losing by one minus 2 successful penalty shots against us) and thus the win. But it doesn't really matter, for 2 important reasons- 1-No more injuries! w00t! 2- I still got to trash talk it up.

Now myself being a scrawny white guy, I am encapable of performing any sport whatsoever, seeing has the olympics have yet to accept masterbation as a sport. This being said, I am capable of one of America's most favorite side bar to every sport- Reckless abuse of the first amendment directed at the other team. In otherwords, trash talk. Most people just babble shit thats sub-par, such as 'You suck' and 'Fuck you', but to me trash talk is much more than that. Much more. Its less than pointing out every one of your oppenents flaws and more of a pych-out game. Also a goal- make your oppenent lose their cool and get fustrated and then cry with self doubt. Why? Because I enjoy watching grown men weep.

Todays edition of trash talk was mostly directed at Jeff White, who I aptly renamed 'Bitch'. I only subed out once in the game, and while I was out I was giving a play by play all about Bitch. And it was craptacular.

LKu- Oh and Bitch goes for the puck and is denied! Ohhhhhh, thats gotta fucking suck, Bitch. You just got denied by the fucking deaf kid. C'mon Bitch, is that the best you've got?

And so forth.

And once I got on the floor it was a completely differenct game. Now, I added songs. The best of which was the first, which I appropriately entitled "I had your mom". Then, only moments later, I came up with the award winning "I still had your mom", only to be followed by the unstopable "I had your mom and she sucked both literally and figurativly".....If only the game had lasted longer....then I would have come up with some more colorful variations.....

The best part of the game, however, was my goal. Yes, my goal was definatly the highlight of my high school education thus far. After a rousing back and forth duel of 'fuck you Bitch I had your mom and your dad both at the same time and you know what they loved it', Bitch was spralled out on the floor and I slapped the puck in....and by back and forth duel, I mean me yelling that at Bitch as I charged him.......

Bottom Line- Hockey is so great. That sport rulz.....I just wish we didn't suck so much.

2/17/03

MY-0000 Jwoly, 8th week there of, Dayday, 88;3

UPDATE! Jeez, its been a while. Well, heres the low down: Me and pyper celebrated our 3 month aniversery a week ago (yea!), I got me arse kicked at a yu-gi-oh tornement a week ago and right now its snowing like theres no tomorrow.....time to rant.

Yes indeed. For those who don't know, or are painfully unobservant, me and pyper are now together a whole 3 months (^_^)....I crafted us a fine pendent necklace, similar to the ones worn be Kaiba and Mokuba on Yu-gi-oh. They are quite elite indeed. Mine sports a picture of the chan on my favorite card, the mighty Barrel Dragon, while hers has yours truly on a wingweaver. Grand.

Speaking of Duel monsters, I went to a tornement a while back. This was a cluster fuck affair, filled with 8 year olds screaming about exodia peices. Spectacular. Thing about it was, all those tiny ad wizards were decent duelests, so I guess you can't judge a book by its cover...I enter the tornament, and face off against this woman named grace....who coinencidentally happens to be the daughter of the card shop owner...freaking great...we start dueling, and just as i'm thinking, 'oh, shes not that tough', wham - she busts out with a Jinzo. A single tribute monster that nullifies all traps while its on the feild. So I was crushed. Thats ok, I think. I can still come back...nope...she crushed me again....its ok though...because during the second match, she pronouced 'raigeki' 'rye-ja-key', so it appears I win.

On a related note, the next few weeks promises not only the new duel monsters expansion set but also 2 new starter decks, meaning I will have no money. At all. (Reference note- I have no money now. Damn it.)

While I'm bitching about things I can't afford, I might as well mention Dugeon Duel Dice, another fine game coming out soon. To bad the starters is going to retail for like $25 dollars....sigh.

I just realized something- I really need money. Like now. I mean heres the dilema- Target, in thier almost infinte wisdom, have given me a 30 cent raise(w00t), meaning I now work at 7.50 an hour (ph33r), but at the same time, they have cut my hours down to about 4 a week....damn it....so now, I need money...so heres the basic solution...give me money, and I will burn things...anything....houses....nuns.....wood...I'll burn it, or die tring...yes....money...me...give....

Which reminds me. The comic. I have now fully scanned in all of season 2 and now only have to make the html for all of it....but there is a problem...season 2 is like 22 megs.... so i compressed it....now its 21 megs.....I cannot transfer that much data, my friends...that is why, as of now, I am starting the official 'buy LenKu a cd burner so he can post the comic online' fund. Donate now and recieve a hug. Future prizes include ninja assassinations of any desired person, ect, ect.

Bottom Line-I need money...damn it I am greedy.

1/1/03

MY-0000 Jwoly, 4th week there of, Fryday, 44;6

Happy New Year All.

Bottom Line- Happy New year. I hope this one dosen't suck...Which I know it won't. (^_^)...

Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.

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