Burn Bridges as You Go

This is written solely by me, I would be very hurt if anyone were to take it without asking first.  If you want to use it or link to it from your own page, please ask me first. 

My friend from university and I sat there in the restaurant, waiting for the server to take our order. While we sat there she talked about her job, her husband, her house and finally her children. She was a proud soccer mom, and loved to shout that to the world even if all the world (except for me) wasn't listening.

     "You must come see the kitchen, we are finally finished redoing it. And Mark would love to see you; you're the only one of our friends that will risk their health in drinking his home brew. Why don't you come over next week, we can have a little get together. You could bring your 'special friend'," Jane hadn't lost her ability to make me feel as if I were still in high school, even though I was twenty-eight.

     "Jane, if I am in the country next week I would love to come over and see if Mark's brew will make me go blind."

    "Should I make a spot for two?"

    Before I could answer the server had decided that we were worthy of his time, and asked us what we wanted to drink.

   "Water with a slice of lemon." Jane looked at me.

   "A scotch and water and water with a slice of lemon." The server left and Jane looked at me with disgust.

    "It isn't even one in the afternoon, what are you doing drinking?"

    "Mother, I can drink when I want. And a space for one is enough."

    "I thought you were dating a guy from work."

    "I was, but it was a mistake. He didn't like my hair and he never shout up. I never got to say a god damned word."

    Jane looked at me with pity now. I hate that. "Oh Max, didn't the last one not talk at all and didn't like your eye brows. I do wish your mother were still about, she some how got you to listen to her. You just don't want to get hurt so you don't try."

    "Gee, I thought you were a high school science teacher; not a shrink. I just haven't found some one I want to spend the rest of my life with." Right then our drinks arrived. I downed my scotch and water. Jane looked at me and shock her head.

     "When did you start drinking like that?"

     "In college, you were there. Remember?"

     "No, once a month we would drink a bit and maybe get a buzz. But, you never drank other than that. Now you're ordering a scotch and water for lunch. Should I be worried?"

     "No, I just like scotch and felt like drinking one."

     "Have you heard from Jim?"

     I really wish Jane would never bring him up. Jim was, and most likely still is, the greatest guy I ever knew. He treated me like the queen I never could be. After I decided that the relationship could never work, we tried to be friends. We talked, called each other, and wrote letters, we're still trying.  "You really know how to kick a girl when she's down."

     "How the hell are you down? Your career is the best it has ever been, your house is the most beautiful thing, and your pets are the sweetest."

     "Oh shout up! I live in an empty house with only my two cats and two dogs to cheer me up. All of my friends are married; most have young kids that can't go out past six. If I knew what my life would turn up like, I would of let myself drown."

     "Don't you ever say that again! You don't know how lucky you are to be alive. As I see it, you make yourself miserable."

     When I was in college, I was a very active scuba diver, mostly lake diving, as I was in a land locked state. I was three dives from getting my dive master certification. It was a deep dive, I knew that I was in the tree line and that the danger of being snagged by a tree was high and I was nervous anyway. I didn't like deep dives. So, I got nervous and I got snagged by a tree.  I couldn't get myself unsnagged and my dive buddy wigged out. She was just learning about deep dives, going for her advanced certification. So, she left me and went up to get the dive instructor who was on shore. While she did that, I went through my air fast. When I woke up I was in a hospital bed with my parents looking very nervous. Jane hates being reminded about that.

     "I'm sorry, that was very callous of me."

     Lucky the server came back for our lunch order, I got another scotch and water and Jane gave me a dirty look. After the server left with our order a long and uncomfortable silence settled on us. When my drink came, I almost downed it again. But, I instead left about half of it in the glass and started on my water. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, "Jim called me last Thursday.  He's fine. Working for some company in Houston. He sounds very happy, if not a little lonely. I tried to set him up with a friend I know down there, but he won't have any of it."

     "That because he still wants to be with you."

     "Oh no, he and I are just friends. He's just very career minded. Besides, if that was true, he would hate that I am dating."

     "Your not dating, you're just pretending. You go around with a guy for maybe a week then, before anyone gets to meet him; you dump him. You pine for Jim, but your too proud to say it and everyone knows it. Even you know it."

     "I don't know what you're talking about. Jim and I are friends, just friends. And even if what you say was true, I burned those bridges a long time ago. And I AM NOT TOO PROUD! I just know what I want." I got up and left my part of the ticket on table. I have always said that you should burn bridges as you go, that way you can't go back.

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