Taylor stared revoltingly at his reflection, angry tears of frustration pricking behind his eyelids. His bones were protruding badly, and he noticed his eyes were bloodshot, with dark purple rings underneath them. His cheekbones profound where his cheeks had sunken in. Light peach fuzz was growing on his skin, his research had proclaimed that it was a defense mechanism his body was using to keep him warm.

Violently he shuddered involuntary from a cold draft. Evidently the fine hair wasn't doing its job very well. And neither was the heavy sweater he was wearing either.

He smirked though, at the looking glass. Knowing that what he was seeing was a distorted image of himself. He was beautiful, a pretty boy. Not this broken down creature that was standing before him now. No, girls still sighed dreamily when they caught a glimpse of him. They still kissed his pictures that hung in their rooms. They still loved his looks.

His voice was sore and a little scratchy, but he had stopped with the ipecac long ago. Though the affects of it were still making itself known. Trying to clear his throat gently, it felt like a knife was dragging upward through his esophagus. The pain excruciating, and unbearable.

Tears were escaping from under his closed lids, and his throat was throbbing. He opened his mouth to talk, but nothing came out.

Shaking his head gently, Taylor turned away from the mirror and returned to his bed. Pulling the thin blanket over him and a small tray towards him with his notebook of songs, he tried to write.

However nothing came to mind.

In frustration he threw his pencil out the door, and flung his back against the pillows, and sulked pitifully.

"Is this yours?" Kendra asked softly as she stepped into the room, the black pencil held tightly in her tiny bony hand.

Taylor's instantly focused his eyes on her. Making a mental note that she looked as bad as he felt. Slowly he nodded his head, and took the pencil she was handing him.

She gave him a weak smile before sitting on the edge of his bed, and picking at his blanket. "I just came to say hi and goodbye." She murmured quietly.

When she looked up, she saw him staring intently at her. "We were much prettier last year." She commented ruefully.

Taylor shrugged his shoulders sluggishly. Not believing her, he was still pretty! She may not be, but he was! He was still beautiful.

Slowly he started writing on his notepad, then lifted it up for her to read.

I am beautiful! Was scrawled sloppily across the page.

Her eyes grew tear-bright and she leaned forward and kissed his forehead gently. "Isaac is driving me home. But when he gets back, he wants to spend some time with you."

Slowly he nodded his head, and set his notepad down. He didn't even bother risking his throat anymore pain.

When Kendra stood up again, she looked down at him and sighed quietly. Shaking her head sadly, she turned and left.

Taylor felt a pang in his heart, and fresh tears stung his eyes. The nurse came in and checked his vitals again, like she had been instructed to every two hours.

She stuck a wooden stick in his mouth and shined a penlight in there to check his tonsils, then felt around his throat.

He winced noticeably, and she clucked her tongue reprovingly. "Your surgery has been pushed ahead to tomorrow." She explained reading over her chart. "It's to relieve the pressure, and we have high hopes that this one will repair the torn tissue."

Taylor nodded mutely, and then the she inserted the IV needle again into the back of his hand. "You shouldn't take this out." She warned him.

Without another word, she left him and Taylor slumped in his uncomfortable bed. This was the second surgery on his throat, and Kendra had just had a liver transplant last week. What was happening to them? Why were they falling apart? They were the beautiful people, the glamorous ones that nothing bad was supposed to ever happen to.

Hanging his head, he cried. He cried like he had never done before. Body wrenching sobs that tore his throat apart with unrelenting pain.

But he didn't stop. He couldn't. He didn't have control anymore. He wondered if he ever did.