CHAPTER XII
By Joanna Phillips
CHAPTER XII
By Joanna Phillips
"So we're all agreed, then?" Teaspoon wondered, "It's time to quit?"
Buck, Cody, Noah, and Ike all exchanged guilty, miserable glances. Kid just stared at the fire, lost somewhere in another world, another time, with Lou.
"Yeah," Cody said first.
Ike nodded next.
"They are gone," Buck mumbled quietly.
"We ain't got the supplies to keep going," Noah pointed out.
All eyes turned to Kid. Teaspoon walked to crouch where he sat on his saddle by the campfire.
"Well, son, it looks like it comes down to you," Teaspoon said quietly, placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder.
Kid thought about it as if it was the hardest decision of his life. In fact, it was. He was being asked to give up all hope that Lou was alive, and Jimmy too.
He was also being asked to live with the knowledge that it was mostly his fault they were gone. Oh, the others didn't blame him, but he held himself responsible.
Kid squared his jaw, and tears filled his eyes. Teaspoon's hand was firm on his shoulder.
Without looking up, Kid spoke for the first time in hours, "Yeah."
His control broke and his sobs came in fast gasps. Teaspoon put his arms around the boy and bowed his head to hide tears in his own eyes.
"God will take care of them," Teaspoon attempted to comfort them, "And us too."
The others all separated and went to find some way to come to terms with the horrible truth that threatened to destroy them all.
Jimmy and Lou weren't going to come back.
Jimmy stood in shock, his mind trying to understand the scene before his eyes.
There was no way he could.
Curly, his whole body contorted in horrible grief, started toward the two women first.
He was gentle as he pushed Lou aside, and kneeled beside Raven Wing. He cradled her limp body in his arms as tenderly as if she still breathed, staring down at the wounds that had drained the life from her. And not only had they taken the life from her, but from his unborn child also. His sobbing was terrible to hear.
Jimmy, for the first time in his life, lost total control over his emotions as he staggered toward Lou. He could barely see for the tears spilling from his eyes, and he nearly hyperventilated with sobbing.
He collapsed on his knees at her side and took her hand, gently untangling it from his own gun, stained with her blood. He brought her hand to his forehead and bowing over it, sobbed as he never had before.
And then, ever so slowly he became aware of something. The hand he grasped so tightly moved. It was such a slight movement that he wasn't positive, and he hardly dared to hope he'd really felt it. His fingers sought Lou's tiny wrist and he waited, his breathing suspended, his heartbeat suspended, his whole life suspended, until he felt it again.
A weak, but steady pulse testified that she lived.
A cry of hope from the depths of his soul went up as he bent over her, studying her wounds in earnest for the first time. She was shot in her middle, and had lost much blood. In fact, the blood covered the front of her wedding dress, and had run all over her arms, legs and throat. He suspected, however, it was not all her blood.
He quickly discerned that the bullet had ripped clean through her, for which he was utterly thankful. He didn't think he had the skill to dig a bullet out of Lou, and even if he did, he didn't think he could do that to her. He prayed the damage that the bullet had wrought on its way through was not severe.
"Come on, Lou, honey, let's get you fixed up," Jimmy whispered, tears still rolling down his face.
He winced as he removed the cumbersome sling from his shoulder, and ignored the pain that shot through his bad arm. He then gathered her in his arms, and she lay in them limply.
Her head leaned far back, unsupported.
Jimmy balanced her in one arm and used the other to bring her head back up to rest against his chest. He noticed the blood appearing on his bandage, but paid it no mind. He leaned his ear down to her mouth to hear the welcomed sound of her breathing, and he took comfort in that.
Curly didn't move or notice as Jimmy carried Lou away. Jimmy knew that there were no words that he could say to help Curly. In fact, Jimmy imagined that he and Lou had ceased to exist for Curly all together. Jimmy's eyes filled with new tears as he glanced at Raven Wing, beautiful even in death, for the last time.
Jimmy had to watch where he was going, lest he step on one of the many bodies littering the ground.
A drizzly rain had started to fall, and it extinguished the fires still burning in the village. All around him, scenes similar to the one he'd just left with Curly took place. The smoke and fog clung to the ground and mixed with the mist, giving the scene an unreal, nightmarish quality. Jimmy held Lou closer, knowing very well how lucky he was to have the chance to save her.
What skill he lacked in tee pee building he made up for in constructing a rough lean-to out of what was left of their tee pee. He found Lou's blanket in good shape and laid her on it, glad to have her out of the rain. With that done he began the long process of cleaning and caring for her wound.
He scowled as he looked at the wound for the first time. She'd been shot from pretty close range, and he wondered how someone had gotten that close to her if she'd had his gun. The wound was a gaping, bloody hole, and her ribs and stomach were already bruising very seriously.
Jimmy imagined that if many of her ribs weren't broken, they were cracked, and knew she would be in severe pain when she came to. He suddenly cursed at his selfishness of drinking all the whiskey the night before. There would be nothing to relieve Lou's pain.
After the wound was cleaned and bandaged, there was nothing to do but wait for Lou to regain consciousness. He was fairly confident that she would be all right, but he felt he wouldn't be able to breath easy until he looked into her soft brown eyes.
Night was falling, and the mountain air was chilly. Lou shivered. Jimmy found her paleness quite alarming, and held her closely, trying to warm her.
A few hours later she stirred for the first time. Her eyebrows knit together as she grimaced in pain. She tossed about restlessly and began mumbling a string of nonsense that Jimmy could only occasionally understand.
"No…oh the children…so much blood…fire dancing, never stop fire dancing…"
Jimmy sat up and put his hand against her forehead, feeling for fever. He found it cold and clammy. She wasn't delirious from fever, but just from the sheer horror of what she'd witnessed.
"Raven Wing," She cried out pitifully, and Jimmy knew then Lou must have seen her die, "No stop!" She began and tried to sit up. She cried out in pain with the effort but didn't stop trying.
"Lou, lie still, it's over, you are safe," Jimmy crooned to her, pushing her down gently.
At his touch she screamed and struggled harder.
"Lou, sweetheart, its me Jimmy!" He pleaded with her, "Now, lie still. Its over."
"…the blood…" He heard her say in another stream of nonsense.
This went on for hours. Jimmy was exhausted from the effort of trying to bring her out of her terror, but she continued to stir restlessly and cry out. Her words broke his heart as he gathered she had indeed seen men, women, children, and Raven Wing cut down in mid-stride before she'd been shot. The one thing he never could figure out was who had done this to the Sioux. He knew Dark Wolf was involved, but he hadn't done it by himself.
Finally, she rested peacefully. Jimmy sighed and rubbed his forehead for a long time, thankful that the ordeal was over, for now. He couldn't bear to see Lou so lost in her horror, couldn't stand not to be able to convey to her that she was safe.
About an hour later, she stirred again, and Jimmy leapt to her side, expecting the worst.
Her eyes slowly opened and they searched the roof of the shelter, trying to decide where she was. She was aware of severe pain in her middle, but it was nothing compared to the memories that assaulted her.
Jimmy suddenly blocked the ceiling as he leaned over her.
"Hey Lou," He whispered and brushed her hair from her forehead, "welcome back."
She studied him, collecting her thoughts. His face was the picture of concern.
"You shouldn't be up," She said suddenly, "You're hurt."
For a minute Jimmy wondered if she had forgotten about the raid on the village and if she thought she was just waking up after she'd fallen asleep caring for him.
Then she dispelled that notion with her next words, "Did you catch them?"
"Who?" He asked.
"Dark Wolf and the man with the patch."
"Who?"
"Dark Wolf and a big man," She said, frustrated at him for not understanding, yet knowing very well it was she that was not making sense. She wracked her clouded thoughts for an explanation he could understand, "They led the band of raiders who did this…"
"No, we didn't catch them. They were long gone by the time we got back."
"Where am I?" Lou fired the next question as soon as he finished his answer.
"In what's left of our teepee," Jimmy answered patiently.
He wasn't prepared for her next question, "How is Raven Wing?"
Jimmy quickly looked away from her probing eyes. From her wild ravings he knew she knew Raven Wing was dead. And yet, she didn't find that acceptable.
"Lou, don't you remember? Raven Wing passed on," He watched as her eyes grew teary, then had to look away lest he cry again too, "I'm so sorry!"
"No!" She growled at him, and snatched the hand he was holding away from him, "How can you say that?" The tears started pouring out of her eyes, and her voice became more desperate, "She's not dead!"
"Lou, don't do this to yourself," Jimmy said, bowing his head.
She was struggling to sit up and Jimmy sighed and tried to push her down gently, "Lay still, Lou, there's nothing you can do."
She surprised him by aiming weak blows at his chest, "Let me go!" She began desperately as he quickly grabbed her wrists. He put his arms around her and pulled her to him, stroking her hair.
She screamed in fury and fought him, but Jimmy knew it was not he her anger was directed at, and he let her vent, all the while whispering soothingly to her. Finally, she was spent, and she collapsed against him, sobbing in great heaving breaths that he knew had to hurt her wound.
"This is all my fault," She sobbed miserably, "Dark Wolf warned me!"
"What are you talking about Lou?" Jimmy asked from above her, his words rumbling in his chest, under Lou's ear.
"The night you were sick, Dark Wolf warned me that if I went through with the marriage, no one here would survive! I didn't believe him!"
"Shhh," Jimmy said, "Don't say that, Lou. Dark Wolf was out to get all of us. One way or the other it would have happened." Jimmy's eyes filled with sudden tears, "I just wished I would have listened to you and stayed behind, Lou. I'll never stop regretting that."
Lou didn't answer. They held each other in silence for a long time, and Jimmy thought Lou might have drifted off to sleep when he heard her voice from below him, "It's time for us to go home, Jimmy."
Jimmy sighed, and his heart broke as he thought of leaving. He had a feeling she'd stopped looking at the village as her prison long ago too. Somewhere along the way it had become a home to both of them. Yet now, it was destroyed, and the illusion was finished. They would go home.
"I know. There is no one left to stop us," Jimmy said sadly, "We will leave as soon as you can ride."
Lou nodded and then spoke again, her voice small, "Are you scared?"
"About going home?" Jimmy wondered and didn't wait for her answer, "I don't know. It will be different now, that's for sure. Are you scared?"
"Yes," She answered honestly, "I don't know what is going to happen."
"I'll tell you what's going to happen," Jimmy said, keeping his voice strong. He was glad she was still laying against his chest so she couldn't see the tears that rolled down his cheeks as he spoke.
"Kid's going to hold you so tight that you'll think he'll never let go, and he's going to realize what a lucky man he is to have your…" Jimmy paused before he said the word that was so bittersweet to him now, "Your love."
"But Jimmy," She began, and he knew she would try and confront what had happened between them. He interrupted.
"And Cody is going to try and get me to make up all the work he's had to do with me gone, and Teaspoon is going to want to keep us in his sight for the rest of our lives, and Rachel is going to try and feed us enough for an army!"
Lou joined in, "Ike will be beating on his chest trying to get our attention in all the chaos, to tell us how glad he is we are back. Buck will want to know all about the Sioux and how we were treated, and Noah will make sarcastic comments about all the others for making fools out of themselves over us!"
Jimmy smiled slightly, "It will be good to be home."
Lou sighed and reached for Jimmy's hand, "There's so much to be left behind here!"
Jimmy knew she spoke not only of the friends they'd found in the Sioux village, so many of them dead now, but of what they had shared together. It had been closer than friendship but not quite romance. However, it was certainly deep love.
"You know I love you Jimmy," Lou said quietly.
"Yeah, I do. And I love you too," Jimmy told her. And he did know they loved each other. He just thought perhaps he was ready to take that love to a level she wouldn't ever be ready to go with him to.
Lou grew quiet, and they sat with their own private thoughts of their captivity. Jimmy felt her tears on his bare chest, and realized he was still wearing the buckskins and vest Curly had given him that afternoon.
Had it only been that long ago that he'd stood beside Lou, ready to marry her? And had it only been that long ago that Raven Wing had stood beaming with pride at Lou? A lifetime of heartache had come into their lives since then.
He knew she cried for Raven Wing.
"Time will help," He told her, but didn't attempt to curb her tears.
She fell asleep there, exhausted by her own grief. Jimmy nodded off too, sitting up with her laying in his arms.
Jimmy opened his eyes and slowly raised his head. Trying not to disturb the still sleeping Lou, he scooted from under her and lay her down, covering her with the blanket. She mumbled and shifted slightly, but did not wake up. He brought his good arm up to massage his now stiff neck. He got up, and walked half-stooped out of the low lean-to. Finally he was able to straighten up and stretch his sore muscles.
He moved his bad arm slightly, and found it extremely painful.
His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he felt as if he was being watched.
His hand reached for his gun and he removed the safety.
Curly suddenly emerged from the smoky night.
Jimmy sighed and looked at his friend. He was covered in Raven Wing's blood, and his eyes were bright red, and fierce with grief and fury. His features still seemed contorted, his skin was drawn so tight against his angular face that he seemed little more than a skeleton. He looked like an animal, Jimmy thought nervously, savage, wild and uncontrollable.
For the first time in a very long time, Jimmy found himself scared of a single man.
"Is she alive?" Curly wondered.
"Yes, she's going to make it. Curly," Jimmy paused, "I'm sorry about…"
"It is done," He growled and continued advancing on Jimmy.
Jimmy felt as if he should draw his gun, but didn't know why. Curly was his friend, and he just couldn't bring himself to think he might hurt Lou or him.
Jimmy didn't draw his weapon, and soon Curly was standing before him.
In the shadows he'd looked bad, but now in the dim firelight from the lean-to he looked terrifying.
Jimmy was cautious, knowing grief did strange things to people.
"You will go home soon?" Curly wondered, his voice strained.
"Yes, as soon as she can ride," Jimmy answered.
"You'd go back to the world that has done this to my people, my wife?"
"Now hold on Curly! Dark Wolf was leading the pack, he is your people!"
"Dark Wolf is Apache," Curly spat, confusing Jimmy. However, Jimmy felt asking for an explanation would not be a good idea, "The rest of the men were whites or half-breeds! The white man's blood is poison!"
"Your people have led massacres on white people just as brutal," Jimmy said in defense of himself, "And I do not consider all Indian's poisoned! You are forgetting that you are half-white too!"
"I cannot let her go back," Curly suddenly murmured, more to himself than to Jimmy, "Raven Wing loved her too much!"
"What are you talking about?" Jimmy began, leaning forward and trying to understand Curly's mumbling.
Curly looked at Jimmy with eyes that were empty. Without another word he brought his fist into Jimmy's face hard, and Jimmy cried out in alarm before slumping to the ground, unconscious.
Curly stepped over his body into the lean to.
Lou was just stirring from her sleep. Jimmy's cry had awakened her. She sat up slightly, despite the pain, when she saw Curly.
"Curly? Oh, Curly, I'm so sorry," She began, new tears filling her eyes.
"It is done," He repeated coldly and reached for her.
"What are you doing?" Lou demanded when he picked her up easily and gently. He didn't hurt her, but he didn't answer her questions.
"Put me down! Where's Jimmy?" She cried out, frightened by the look on Curly's face. She began fighting as hard as her weak body would allow, "Where are we going?"
Curly didn't try to stop her from hitting him. He carried her out of the shelter and stepped over Jimmy.
"Jimmy!" She cried in alarm then slammed her fist into his chest, "You didn't kill him?"
"He is alive!" Curly reassured her, but that was all he said.
Curly withstood her blows as if he didn't feel them. Lou began to realize that he actually didn't. She continued to fight weakly as he threw her on a horse and climbed up with her, riding away from the camp.
"You can't do this! I'm going home!" Lou screamed, "I want to go home!"
"Yes," Curly agreed with dangerous quiet and the look of a lunatic in his eyes, "We are all going home, my child!"
TO BE CONTINUED…CHAPTER XIII
Copyright 1998-This work is not to be reproduced without the permission of the author