These are questions submitted by you. This page will be updated periodically.

Ryan
Topeka, KS

Question: I want to know how you became insane?? Your website is a joke dude... Do you think people actually believe that cr*p??

Winston Katt responds:

Ryan,

People called Jesus insane too!

With grace and luck, people will come to believe in the power of Christian Fluids. Of course, when some of our research bears fruit and is put into practice -- like the transpiration of Christian Fluids in aerosol form, or the introduction of Christian Fluids into the food supply -- convincing people won't be necessary. 

David B.
Silver City, NM

Does donated blood pass on the denomination of the donor? What if you are a Catholic that is transfused with a Pentacostal's blood? What if they have a different (Christian) interpretation of the Bible (sects) than you? I don't follow your theories at all, but would encourage you & your followers to donate as much blood as possible for hope of a greater good (pun intended).

Winston Katt responds:

David,

Your question is very insightful -- and therefore difficult to answer! Your pun is difficult too. I can't spot it.

While I have been able to isolate the Christian components of blood through Christpherization methods, I have yet to determine the total amount of "information" contained in those components. In other words, while it's obvious and evident that the Holy Spirit exists in our Fluids, it's not clear yet whether certain denominations' teachings (or other things) are encoded and embedded. I suspect that they are.

Decoding the human genome was a huge project, and I predict that deconstructing the Christian Fluids present in us is an even bigger one. Especially since it's being undertaken by an old man like me with homemade equipment.

Rest assured, however, that the research will continue. I am currently attempting to isolate Baptist components in blood donated to me for just that purpose. Baptist characteristics seemed like the right place to start, since they are probably the most easily identifiable.

As of July, 2001, my DPM (diagnostic phoresis machine) is in need of a new motor. It's not an easy thing to come by, so the research is currently on hold.

 

Ian M.
Waterloo, IA

To Whom it May Concern;

I have just taken the Fluids for Christ Pledge and would like to recieve my pledge card at the address below. Thank you. [Address deleted.]

Winston Katt responds:

Ian,

Thank you for taking the Fluids for Christ Pledge! I know that it will help you in a time of need, should you ever encounter such a time and be in need.

Unfortunately, we cannot supply the pledge cards because of a funding problem. Also, our laser printer is in the shop. We have provided a printable copy on the web site, though. And it's free! It may be printed from any high-quality color printer and laminated by you, your parent or guardian, or your local laminator.

 

Matthew (ju-ju21@excite.com)
Chicago, IL

I mean no ill-will, but are the beliefs held on this website sincere? Your forming of beliefs based on "testimonials" appears to be superstition, not Christian faith. Do you really believe that your God is unable to welcome home those who have been given "un-Christian" blood? Did God make his most glorious creations (humans) that flawed? I do not believe God would be so cruel and unloving. God is not served by us avoiding impure blood and telling us to avoid it at all costs ( including choosing to sacrifice a leg God created for you). I feel God loves all of this creations and tells us to love and respect each other as a creation of God. In fact, this was a central message of his High Messenger, Jesus Christ.

Winston Katt responds:

Matthew,

No ill will taken. Thank you for your question! Oops -- I should say "questions." Let me see if I can answer them, in order.

The beliefs of Fluids for Christ, the organization, and its followers are not based on the testimonials. And they are certainly not based on superstition! In fact, it's the other way around. What I mean is, the testimonials are based on our faith in the beliefs and superstitions contained within us and our beliefs and faith.

Fluids for Christ does not teach that a person will not be called home to heaven simply for receiving secular blood (or other fluids). However, the Bible makes one thing very clear "Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son." (John 3:18) In other words, if you don't believe, you are going to go to Hell, which you probably don't want to do.

My research has shown that Good Christians who receive UnChristian Fluids are subject to side effects such as backsliding, sinful behavior, and profound doubt. It's that doubt that'll get you, and it's that doubt that is the greatest barrier between you and Heaven.

As for whether we're that flawed, I think the answer is a simple yes. There are too many examples to cite, so I'll refrain.

Don't believe in a cruel and unloving God? You need to re-read the Old Testament! If God has taught us one thing, it's that He is easy to anger an we're always one step away from hellfire, Matthew!

Please take the Fluids for Christ pledge, Matthew. You don't know how endangered you are. I'd hate for you to find out in a hospital bed!

 

Stever (squeakydahmer@hotmail.com)
Corvallis, OR

Are you guys for real? This has to be a joke.

Winston Katt responds:

Stever,

If I wasn't real, how could I type this???

"Marsha" Boogles (boolgley@boogles.com)
Rock, Oregon

I would like to know the Christian method of donating seeds, please. I am just a starting Christian and would like to know the Christian way to do it!! Thanks!

Winston Katt responds:

Marsha,

Unless there's something you're not telling us, you have no seeds to donate.

The purpose of Fluids for Christ is to encourage communities to start their own seed banks. Each bank would have its own collection method. Some people are uncomfortable with secular methods of manual seed donation, so we do not recommend it. (However, we are currently investigating a method that would allow sinless manual donation. As soon as we have definitive results, we'll let you know.)

There are ways to extract seeds without sinful touching or thoughts. For these methods we recommend local anesthetic. Please have your local seed bank describe the methods to you in more detail.

gAVIN c.
iRELAND

i AM INTERESTED IN PROVIDING FLUID FOR YOUR PROGRAMME IN THE FORM OF [seeds]. BUT i LIVE IN iRELAND AND AM UNSURE HOW TO GET IT TO YOU. cAN YOU ADVISE ME.

Winston Katt responds:

Gavin,

Please see the response to the above question, but disregard the part about the questionable sexuality of the ask-er. Also, be advised that we are not certified to collect, utilize, test, transfer, transfuse, sample, deliver, sell, purchase, offer, maintain, store, or possess Christian fluids.

Plus, please turn your Caps Lock off. It's on the left-hand side of your keyboard, although in Ireland it might be located elsewhere.

A concerned Christian man
Camarillo, CA

Have you considered getting professional help?

Your kind of seperatist, prejudicial, holier than others thinking has dragged true religious beliefs down for centuries. The last group advocating this kind of 'purity' were christians too. THE NAZIS of Hitlers Germany.

Winston Katt responds:

Concerned Christian Man,

Indeed we have considered professional help. As a self-trained scientist, it would be very helpful to have a degreed professional to assist me with my research. Unfortunately, our budget doesn't currently allow for hiring a full- or part-time assistant.

JRE
Santa Fe, NM

Does Jesus live in the United States now, or is he still in England?

Winston Katt responds:

JRE,

My research does not equip me to answer your question. Sorry!

Gaylord S.
Hanover, NH

Dear Winston,

As a strapped-for-cash-college student, I am always looking for ways to keep myself financially above water, without having to resort to a bank account, loan, or other form of usury. Since no seed is technically spilled or left to waste through the process of [seed] donation, I decided to donate a few little swimmers to get enough money to by my girlfriend’s mom a Mother's Day gift. It was only afterward that I heard of Fluids For Christ.

Though I was at first overjoyed, I then realized there was no guarantee that my pure, Christian seed wasn't going to end up combining with some heathen [receptacle]! I mean, I love the heathens and heretics and all, but we all know that Leviticus 19:19 clearly forbids sowing a field with "two kinds of seed." Does my [seed] donation to a non-denominational [seed] bank consist of a violation of this command? Am I condemned to an eternity of fire and tooth-gnashing for scraping together some extra cash for a "What Would Jesus Do" plate collection from the Franklin Mint, that can only increase in value? Will I be smote down my the wrath of an angry and vengeful God? Because, Lord knows, I really don't need that.

Feverishly Praying for God’s Forgiveness,

Gaylord

Winston Katt responds:

Gaylord,

I think you probably need to consult your pastor on this one, since it's more about being forgiven than it is about Christian Fluids. As for matters pertaining to the latter, though, I'll tell you what I can.

First, you did nothing wrong by donating your seed at a secular facility. On the contrary -- it's plain to see that you're devout and devoted, and you might just have created a new Christian(s) where none would have been. And maybe that new Christian(s) will convert his/their mother(s), and his/their teachers, and so on. You did a good deed!

The purpose of Christian Seed banking is to provide Christian Seeds to those who want to conceive Christian children through Assisted Miracle Procedures. There is nothing wrong with guerrilla seed donations, though, which is essentially what you did. I think the world would be a better place if more Christians donated their seeds and receptacles to ensure that more Christian children are conceived. After all, not everyone will choose a Christian Seed Bank over a secular one. So, why not stack the deck?

I too am collecting the Franklin Mint WWJD plates. My favorite is the one with the kitten.

David
[Location unknown]

I've read youre testimonies and you sure seem to make some good points! I wasnt aware until now of the risks of getting some non-christian blood. It got me thinking, what if I accidentally got the blood of someone who didnt have a strong faith, or who rejected the teachings of the Lord? This is some serious consideration. But how can I make sure that if I'm in a car accident, and I'm taken to hospital unconcious, that I get proper Christian blood? If I carry a card, like a donor card, that tells them that I'd rather die a christian than "live" contaminated by filthy blood, will the doctors listen? I think you should have something like this on your website so people can print cards out and prevent this kind of terrible mistake.

Anyway, the main reason I was writing to you is to ask you this: if my faith can be weakened by unchristian blood, then can I make it stronger with the blood of really really good Christians? I admit, I'm not a perfect follower of the Lord, and sometimes I stray. Sometimes I stray real far, for a long time, and I'll realise that I've wasted months of my life ignoring God's teachinfgs, and although I try to stay on his path, its not always easy and I often slip back into my old, ignorant ways again. If I could persuade a real devout Christian to give some blood to me, could I become a better person? I know it sounds like I'm looking for an easy way to inject myself with strong christian faith, but if it will make me a better christian, then its worthi it, right?

Please let me know what you think. God bless.

Winston Katt responds:

David,

You make a really good point, and I'd like all Fluid for Christers to know that you were the inspiration behind the Pledge Card. Thank you!

And another good point -- yes, it's quite possible that your faith could be augmented and strengthened by the purest Christian Fluids. Please read about Therapeutic Christpheresis, a process I developed to treat dysfunctions of Christianity. Unfortunately, a recent injunction has barred me from providing the Christpheresis therapy. As soon as the restraining order is lifted, however, I will contact you.

Currently, I am researching Christianity Supplements that can be taken like vitamins. The trial is ongoing and I will report on it soon.

Pete W. (pwkw@iglou.com)
[Location unknown]

Blood Banking question: What risks to a Christian are there from a donor (Christian or Unchristian) with a red cell phenotype of: (Rh) D/E/V, plus anti-I, plus Lewis II (Ls)?

Winston Katt responds:

Absolutely none, if the donor is a Christian. That's the beauty of Christian Fluids!

If the donor is UnChristian, the usual side effects (backsliding, doubt, godlessness, sinful behavior, etc.) are probable.

Submit your question now.
(Questions will be edited for vulgarity and/or blasphemy.)