Personal Poetry
(The following is a poem I wrote about my struggle with the probability of impending euthanasia. As it turned out, I wouldn't have to make that decision. This poem was inspired by a very special condolence post written by one of my Yahoo feline cancer group members directly following Gem's passing. Realizing just how impossible the idea of euthanasia had been to me, she reminded me of the precious gift Gem gave me when he expired peacefully on his own.)
An unpolished stone when I
took you home,
your preference was to be alone.
It would take a while to form our bond,
but together, with time, we'd grow so fond.
Eventually, you trusted me,
your heavy burden finally free.
So quickly then you stole my heart,
while I promised you we'd never part.
Then suddenly you got so sick
It had to be it was God's cruel trick.
They couldn't cure your cancer
yet they fly to the moon
It so unfair you should die so soon.
Euthanasia they said would
free you from pain.
So if pain you felt.....was I to blame,
when no I said,
he must go peacefully in his bed.
Your doctor said no, that won't be so,
and she chose a day for you to go.
Please, oh no, I can't do that,
I can't choose death for my beloved cat.
Was it more than your
little body could take?
Did you disguise your pain just for my sake?
I had my reasons, I hope you can see,
I really didn't keep you here just for me.
The family you see would miss you Gem
And I felt in my heart you'd be missing them.
They said just remember the
memories we shared
But please, I'm not ready, I'm so unprepared
The time grew near that God should take you home,
but I begged and I prayed, God leave us alone.
They said that you won't
really be gone,
that it's just your soul that's moving on
To a better place is what they say,
where cats have wings and like kittens play.
Then so suddenly you were
whisked away,
to await at the bridge for us one day.
So that euthanasia wouldn't have to be,
what a precious gift from Gem to me.
by Nancy Smith
There is a story behind the very special meaning of the poems that follow. I would like to share the story with you before you read them. My best friend Jen worked with me at the shelter from which I would eventually adopt my beloved Gem. She didn't think I should take him home, but rather that I should take one of the more friendly and "deserving" cats at the shelter. In those three blessed years that I was lucky enough to share my home with Gem, she never seemed to accept him and always referred to him as "Dubious", or "Mr. Don't Belong". Then during his illness she would always ask me how Dubious was doing. I thought her compassion for my boy was only because she knew how much I was hurting, but when he was taken from me she suffered terribly as well. As it turned out, my boy had stolen her heart after all. But then, that was very easy for anyone who had the great pleasure of knowing him. Soon after his passing she would write these two poems in his memory. They really mean a lot to me.
GEM
Gem was your name
Dubious was your game
You used your nine lives much too soon
And left your owner in gloom
Your owner says I didn't like you much
Just cuz I nicknamed you dubious
I realized much too late, your soul was contagious
You sneaked in your charm
And made your way into my heart
You were a feral just the same
Who only wanted to be tame
Born a feral kitten
You became a sweet household cat
You know that I was smitten
Cuz you were all that
You fit in so easily
You were such a tease
You acted like all the rest
But you were really the best
because of where you came from
You were suppose to be destined to stay feral
and then some
Just when we thought
You beat all the odds
then you were gone
but will never be forgot
So even though I nicknamed you dubious
I secretly thought you were luminous
You fit in just like you'd been there all along
I miss you so much, now that your gone
You were suppose to be wild and mean
a feral for the rest of your life
On the bed you'd sleep
You just knew it was your right
I'm so sorry you lost the fight
I'm lucky to have known you
You were a wonderful cat it's true
And for that I will try not to be blue
I'm glad I was there the last week
May you rest in peace
by Jennifer Robertson 06/03/01
Untitled
All along you were there by my side
At least we got a chance to say goodbye
I heard there was a new kitten body waiting
So I told the angels, it's mine for the taking
Just so you know
When the rain falls
It's because you recall
you're thinking of me from below
and the teardrops start to fall
I just want you to know
I follow your lead
I feel you when you plead
The teardrops you cry when you reminisce
are mostly sad and rarely from happiness
So whatever you think, whatever you feel
When the rain starts to fall
Hold out your hand and catch a tear from me
What you feel is what they are
I may be up here but I feel you so
I just wanted you to know
Be kind to me up here
So I won't have to shower you with my tears
The rain will go away
But my love is always here to stay
Rainbows come from tears of gladness
Not tears of sadness
but as long as you weep
I'll never rest in peace
by
Jennifer Robertson
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Personal Poetry |
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