"You throw your pearls before the swine
 Make the monkey dine, darlin...
 Don't ya monkey with the monkey!"
    Peter Gabriel, Shock the Monkey

A discussion is going on over on my friend Alissa's site on the relative merits of web logs and who reads them. Well as she points out some people (i.e. me) do not keep up with email or any other form of corospondance very well. Its true that we always feel great when we get any kind of contact that somene meant just for us and spent real time on. However, I feel that sometimes when people get mail they just feel like its something they're obligated to respond to. That's what's nice about these web logs: no one has to read them if they don't want to, and you don't have to say anything in response. They're a nice, unobtrusive way to keep up on someone's life.

By the way, if you're reading this and aren't familiar with Blogger (the service we use to create these logs) you really should look into it. Its free and its remarkably simple once you play around with it. Just set one up and play with it for a few days. I guarentee you'll enjoy it.

Finally, someone has indicated that I stole my Muppet Tarot cards from somewhere. I actually wrote all of them one afternoon when I was feeling creative. There's twenty-one in case you were wondering. The pictures themselves came from some german site that I couldn't understand a word of. I love the internet.

"And when you have the choice
 To sit it out or dance
 I hope you dance."

Ungh... its been a long day and a productive day. I'm almost done with this annoying piece of work that should have been finished las week. Maybe tomorrow I'll save some screen shots of what I'm doing and post them to my site. I suppose I shouldn't do that, but then again I don't think Microsoft's lawyers read my site as often as they used to. What with the whole Department of Justice thing.

Two quick apologies: Alissa does not spell her name with a 'y' and as soon as I'm get home I'll fix the link. Also I realized that my roomate pictures aren't showing up on the main photo album page. I'll get to that too.

Gwen, this is for you:

"The lesson from history
 You, you're your own worst enemy."
    Irish Descendants, Everyones' Sons and Daughters

"I get knocked down
 But I get up again
 You ain't ever gonna keep me down."
    Chumbawumba, Tumpthumping

First of all... a heartfelt thank you to Anne Babcock. Anne if you're reading this I want you to know that your card was exactly what I needed to hear exactly when I needed to hear it. My first week of coding went pretty well, but it had ended on a bit of a sour note. I had to tally up the hours I had spent on various deliverables and indicate which had been finished. Let's just say that I spent a LOT more time than I had planned, and I wasn't as far as I had hoped to be (*grrr*). Then I get home and find a credit card bill (*grumble*), a car insurance bill (#$&@!), and... a card. Wherever you are Anne, bless your heart :-)

So I did nothing this weekend. I did this on purpose, actually. The Microsoft company picnic was this weekend. Its an entire weekend of music, food, entertainment, and games out at this farm in North Bend. Its a huge event and the weather was great today, but I just couldn't think Microsoft today. So I cleaned the house instead. I needed to regroup.

One final note: I bought this book on Javascript a while ago, and I never really did anything with it. So in order to justify this purchase I added a few arbitrary features to my site that use Javascript to do what Javascript does best, and that is things that are as amusing as they are useless. click refresh/reload on this page a few times and watch your Muppet Tarot Card reading change. Same goes for the roommate pictures in the photoalbum.

"It's always easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission."
    Grace Hopper

"Sex, bugs, & Rock 'n Roll!!!"
    Tag Line from the movie Joe's Apartment

Well I've got two out of three, and that ain't bad. Admiral Grace Hopper is the woman who gave us the term bug, and she was also the first person to find one in a program. In her case it was a real moth, but I'm sure it was just as tough to track down as a memory leak :-)

"I ain't happy,I'm feeling glad,
 I got sunshine, In a bag,
 I'm useless, but not for long,
 My future is coming on...
 Its coming on...
 Its coming on..."
    Gorillaz, Clint Eastwood

I'm so punchy right now. Coding can really fry your brain after too many hours. It is a lot of fun when you get right down to it, but it really does require you to bring all your mental forces to bear. That's why when I sit down to write in this log at the end of the day I have trouble with words containing more than two syllables. I'm putting in some long-assed days, and I'm still falling behind schedule. Its all good though. I feel like I'm really picking up the skills I came here to learn. My manager and my mentor are being really cool about everything and making sure I get a lot of help.

I got an email from myself one year in the future. Seriously. This guy, Greg, is me one year in the future. He co-oped at Nortel just before I did. He started fencing just before I did. He was a Technology Consultant in the WING just before I was. He even started working for Microsoft one year ago. If he ever dies suddenly I'm going to just start partying like there's no tomorrow because I'll probably only have about a year to live.

I bet I could kick his ass in volleyball though :-)

"Tomorrow, tomorrow
 I love Ya, tomorrow
 You're only a day away"

So I got through about seven hours of being productive, and then guess what happened? Beer happened (again). Some guy is leaving the company today, and somehow this means Guiness on tap? All I know is that after two beers I just can't code anymore. Its not that I'm drunk... its just that I don't really feel like sitting in front of a computer anymore. (Its taking a great deal of willpower just to write these few lines). To paraphrase Beetlejuice, "This Working for Microsoft thing *munch*, *munch* its just too creepy". I think its time for a few games of foosball :-)

Don't drink and code.

"I'm high, but I'm grounded
 I'm sane, but I'm overwhelmed
 I'm lost, but I'm hopeful"
    Alanis Morissette, Hand in My Pocket

Dude where's my bits?

Some days just land on you like a ton of bricks, and sometimes the bricks continue to fall well into the following morning. Yesterday was about a 7.5 on the Suck-O-Meter. I was dying of the proverbial thousand bee stings. I wound up putting in a twelve-hour day, and I left without knowing if any of my efforts had even yielded anything useful. Then this morning I'm lying in bed at 7:00am trying to talk myself into opening my eyes when my roommate asks if anyone else is awake. I jump up, throw on a robe, and head for the kitchen where Susan explains that she was just bit by a stray cat that she was trying to catch to take to the vet. This is a sick-looking cat, and Susan is just too kind a person to not try and help. She had a cat carrier on the porch with food in it, and was trying to coax the stray into it. The cat was still on the steps looking torn between suspision and hunger. It was halfway in when I went for it with a towel. It got away. Then Susan got a bit freaked out... she's going to need a serioes of rabies shots if we don't catch this thing. Another swell day.

However, even a rain of bricks can produce a rainbow. My efforts from yesterday were not in vain, and I have sucessfully completed something that will be visible in the next release of Access! Speaking of which, my build is done so back to work!

"Oh the places you'll go, the people you'll see..."
    Dr. Seuss

It was an altogether fantastic weekend. Saw a great 80s cover band on Friday (Dudley Manlove... what's in a name?). I had been expecting something a little more low-key from the people I was going out with (so I was a bit overdressed), but a good time was had by all.

Saturday was straight out of Gone in Sixty Seconds. Picture people running around campus on cell phones saying things like: "I got Persuasion and Mansfield Park, but I couldn't find Out of the Rain. Where should I go next?" Apparently there's a subsection of Microsoft that loves puzzles, and so once or twice a year they have some sort of competitive puzzle solving event. In the past these consisted of teams of a dozen people solving incredibly hard puzzles, and the events would last all weekend. This event was limited to 50 teams of no more than 4 people, and was based on something called letterboxing. The event consisted of two rounds that went for three hours each, and each round consisted of about 40 puzzles. The catch was that each puzzle's solution would translate to a location on campus where a stamp would be hidden. Each team had one logbook that they would have to bring to each location and stamp it in the appropriate space for the puzzle. In other words, finding a stamp accidently was useless because you wouldn't know which puzzle it was for. Each stamp also had a sticker hidden with it that was worth an additional five points to the team to find the puzzle first. Oh, and you had to travel by foot: no skates, no scooters, no nothing.

So at any point in time your team would have three people solving puzzles, and one person running with the logbook. Guess what I got to do all day? Let's just say that I have now been in every building on central campus several times. Also, some of the puzzle solutions lead to bonus games worth extra points. The one puzzle I solved myself before I started my six hours of running lead me to a conference room where I had to dress up like Madonna (Wig, rocket-bra, skirt, etc.) and be videotaped while I sang Material Girl. These videos were then shown at the awards ceremony.

We placed 19th overall, and we felt pretty good about our efforts. We should have solved more puzzles before we sent out a runner as that would have kept us from running from one end of the campus to the other and then back again so many times. The only downside to the day was that some poor bastard's office got destroyed. They told us not to go into anyone's office, but the first puzzle's solution was screwed up so a dozen teams tore into one office and destroyed it. They even took the guys's computer apart to see in the stamp was inside it. This guys is gonna be pissed come Monday.

Today Jen, Vick, and I went to the Bite of Seattle festival in the Seattle center. The festival actually sucked, but we had a nice dinner in the Space Needle. Tomorrow marks the Start of Coding for Office.NET. Here goes nothing!

"Mmm... Beer"
    H. Simpson

The week ended well. Microsoft periodically has a beer & pizza Friday thing, so I'm currently enjoying a nice can of Guiness. I think I like working here after all :-)

Seriously though things are looking up. We had a Hurray for Productivity & Business Services meeting yesterday. Lots of propaganda, but also a glimpse of what all the teams in our division are working on. I'm telling you right now that the Tablet PC is about the coolest thing you've ever seen, and could very well usher in the paperless age. Well, the Digital Decade anyway if you want to believe BillG.

We start coding on Monday and I think I'm ready. I'm still pretty overwhelmed, but I met with my manager today and that has set my mind at ease. He understands what its like and seems to have realistic expectations for me.

Things are looking good outside work too. I found some open gym volleyball last night, which felt great. Tonight I'm going downtown with somone I met during orientation and her group, and tomorrow I'm participating in this team problem solving/scavenger hunt/race thing that takes place on campus. In the words of the Beatles:

"I've got to admit, its getting better
 A little better all the time..."

"In this beautiful life there's always some sorrow
 And its a double-edged knife, but there's always tomorrow
 Its up to you know if you sink or swim
 Just keep the faith that your ship will come in
 Its not so bad..."
    Great Big Sea, Ordinary Day

Little things can make a big difference. Jen got back into town yesterday (with Diesel), and so we all got together last night. Seeing them always goes a long way towards making it feel like I LIVE here rather than just existing. I also met a guy three offices down from me who works on Excel. His name is Yaniv, and he has probably done more for my piece of mind than anything since I've arrived here. He reassured me that being overwhelmed was par for the course, and it turns out he's a competative ballroom dancer so he's helping me find some lessons in the area.

I blew up the power supply on one of my machines last Friday. There are seven computers in my office, but only two of them are mine. Furthermore, who the hell ever heard of a PC power supply exploding? Anyway, my head was right next to it when it exploded. It scared the crap out of me, and I was sure that everything inside must have been fried. Wonder of wonders... the new power supply was delivered today, and the machine is totally fine. I also just got an email from the office admin that beer and pizza will be served in the atrium this Friday. All in all I must say that things are starting to look suspiciously better.

"If comments were gasoline then this code couldn't drive drive a motorcycle around the inside of a Cheerio"
 Me, on some of the Excel code.

I came up with a good get rich quick scheme. I'm going to provide a service for serial killers: a database of potential victims which can be searched by demographic. The database will be provided free of charge, but you have to pay $5.00 not to be listed :-)

"Its these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
 Nothing remains quite the same
 Through all of my running and all of my cunning
 If I couldn't laugh I just would go insane"
    Jimmy Buffet

Moving someplace new is crazy. Everything seems so unstable and unknown. Its like you're looking at the world through a blob of Jell-O. Each weekend I spend here goes a long way towards making my reality seem more solid. I know its going to take time to achieve relative normalcy, and that things will probably never be totally under control. That's OK because a little instability is a healthy thing. Besides there's always room for Jell-O.

Anyway, this weekend was another good one. Yesterday was Productive Day. I installed curtain rods and curtains, hung pictures, took (and barely passed) my Washington Drivers License written test. In my defense I only missed questions about silly things like how far away from oncoming traffic you should dim your high beams. Even if I could remember the exact distance I wouldn't be able to judge it that accurately. Bullocks to them! I also went to a nice crafts festival in downtown Kirkland, and remembered visiting similar fairs with friends back east.

Today was Unproductive Day. Carl and I went hiking in a cloud. Literally. The entire mountain was engulfed in clouds. It was a fun hike, but it was like being in the middle of a giant white sneeze. I didn't take many pictures, but if you want to know what the view was like then hold a blank piece of paper right in front of your face. One novel part of the hike was that there were patches of snow near the peak. Ah, Washington. We also had a bunch of people over for dinner. It was a lot of laughs, and the salmon we grilled was superb. My roommates and I kick ass!

And so the week lays ahead of us. My group starts coding a week from Monday so I really need to get in top of things. I don't mind saying that I'm pretty scared of the whole thing, but this is offset by my desire to prove myself. Words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

"So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
 Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time"
    Green Day, Time Of Your Life

I finally got some of my pictures up on the photo album. Some of them are really big so my apologies to anyone on a slow connection.

Things are getting better. I'm becoming less and less terrified of the task that my manager has set me to for the first milestone of our next release. I'm still not making any life long friends at my job, but at least I'm not making any enemies. Patience was never one of my major virtues.

Newness in general creates a sort of non-specific stress that builds up with time. Mine topped out yesterday as I was leaving work. Fortunately I know the remedy for this ailment: I went running until I couldn't feel my legs, then I ate a lot, and then I slept like a baby. For those of you who might be going through a similar phase in your life I highly recommend it.

"I find... sometimes its easy to be myself
 Some times... I find its better to be somebody else."
    Dave Matthews Band, So Much To Say

Computers, Kayaks, and Great Big Mountains

I had a good weekend. Got my car, got my stuff, put most of it away, and am starting to feel almost normal. Whatever that means. My roommate, Carl, had an itch to Go Out And Do this weekend so I tagged along. Saturday I got to try kayaking on Lake Union. Its pretty cool, but it took quite a bit of getting used to. I think I had my abs clenched for the first half-hour, but once I developed a bit of a feel for it it was a little easier and a lot more fun. The view of Seattle from the water on a sunny day is pretty darn good too.

Yesterday we hiked Mt. Si (pronounced: "sigh"). Its a big mountain with an incredible view from the top, and its a four mile trail of nothing but switchbacks to get there. It was a beautiful day so the trail was pretty crowded, but it was so worth it. After we had lunch at the top Carl taught me something very cool. He took a piece of bread from his sandwich, pinched it in his fingers, and held out his arm. A few minutes later a bunch of birds were hanging around us, and one by one they would land on your fingers and peck away at the bread. The view of Mt. Raineer was also pretty stunning.

Finally last night I caught up with Jen & Vick, the couple who's wedding is in my photo album. They've moved into a fantastic place near U. Washington. Its got high ceilings, great location, and (I hate them for this) a view of the Seattle skyline, the Space Needle, and Mt. Raineer. They're still living out of boxes, but it was great to see them. Vick starts his job as a Doctoral Student today so he and I commiserated on feeling overwhelmed. We also went to see A.I. What did I think of the movie? I thought that the first two hours of it were fantastic, but that it runs too long and ends with what can only be described as an airy little fart.

We've got a staff meeting today so I'll finally get to meet the crew. Keep your fingers crossed!

"Well I laughed as I said it:
 This is my situation
 Its not pictures or privilege
 Its just self preservation
 I don't want you to feel
 Any obligation
 Feels so funny to be free..."

The last three days have seen many things that are very important to my life arrive in the Seattle area. My car showed up yesterday, my stuff arrived this morning, Jenn & Vick arrived two days ago, and a rational on how to handle the immensity of the learning curve I'm on at work showed up last night. The thing that frightened me the most about changing my major back in 1997 wasn't that I might not like working with computers, but that I wouldn't be good enough. Since I made that change I've felt like I've been playing catch up with the rest of the computer professional in the world. To date I think the highpoints of my career were all the places where I felt I was making real contributions to my team while I was co-oping at Nortel. It took more than a few months to get to that point, but it was worth it. At Microsoft... let's just say the bar seems to be a lot higher. Hopefully it will be all the more satisfying when I finally do clear it.

Anyway, I'm going to call it a week. I met a fellow three offices down who's a competitive ballroom dancer. He's clued me into a ballroom right in the town I'm living thing I'll go check it out this weekend. Au Revior...

"I've become the beggar now
 And you've become the saint somehow."
    -Indigo Girls, "All With Hope"

When I was a SysAdmin at Nortel I would often go out of my way to give some extra personal assistance to the new people in our office. They were usually pretty amazed at this because support in most large companies is sometimes not all that... well, supportive. Thank goodness the universe has a sense of balance. Today I was rescued from the depths of a techno-nightmare from a very hyper and very helpful fellow named Stephan who came to my office from who-knows-where to not only solve my problem, but to also hold my hand through the next few steps.

I'm really sick of not knowing anyone here! Its time to start seeking out the interesting people and investing in some outside of work activities. Ever forward!

"If I had a Billion Dollars..."

Happy birthday to me :-)

So today was my first day of work at Microsoft. VERY cool. We spent six hours in orientation learning about benefits (we get a lot of those :-), where the company is going (.NET), and about getting registered with all of Microsoft's internal services (A Herculean task; more to follow). The most interesting part of the whole thing were the guest speakers. Every orientation (they happen every monday) also has one executive speaker, and guess who we got? Here's a hint: He's the richest man in the world. So now I can say that I've seen Bill Gates. He was a decent speaker and definitely a local celebrity. A LOT of people came out of the woodwork to hear his half-hour talk and question and answer session.

The rest of my day was a lot like my first days of work at all of my co-ops. I have no userid so I can't get online, and I need to get online to request anything else. So I'll get a lot of reading done. I do have an office though! Its been completely picked clean of anything that might be useful, and is also currently being used as a server storage room, but its an office.

I must say that its nice to have passed this milestone. My "To Do" list is still about a mile long, but I feel like the worst is over. One last thing. Here's my address if you're interested:

11002 127th PL NE
Kirkland, WA 98033
(425) 827-2405

I haven't updated the "Find Scott" page yet because I still don't have any real internet access.