"There's a piece of Maria
 In every song that I sing
 And the price of a memory
 Is the memory of the sorrow it brings."
    Counting Crows, Mrs. Potter's Lullaby

What makes a good date?

Tonight might have been one of the best dates I have ever had in my life, and yet here I sit minutes after it wrapped up filled with anxiety. Its a cruel equation: the more I find I really like someone and want to get close to them the more I find myself terrified of screwing something up or flat-out rejection.

We met for dinner at The Pink Door in the market. Jill looked fabulous and seemed to appreciate the flower (thanks to the committee that green-lighted that idea: I love you guys). Dinner was great, and I really started to get a sense for what an amazing person she is. I knew she was smart and talented, but she's also really compassionate, worldly, and for lack of a better word: good.

We saw an Improv'd version of A Christmas Carol that was hysterical and wrapped it up with drinks and dancing at The Pampas Room. Because life has a sense of humor Lisa and Chris were there dancing up a storm. Here's a dating tip from me to you: running into your Ex is much easier when you're on a date with an amazing girl. I highly recommend it.

So we said goodnight and here I sit with that elevator feeling in my stomach. I really like this girl. I'm going to hate myself if I blow this.

"Well we got there and there was a big chain and a sign saying 'Closed on Thanksgiving'. We had never heard of a dump closed on Thanksgiving so with tears in our eyes we drove off looking for another place to put the garbage.

We didn't find one."
    Arlo Guthrie, Alice's Restaurant

Yay Thanksgiving! I'm slowly adjusting to the idea of not being with family for Turkey Day. The last three years have all been spent with friends instead. There are some perks to this: new and different food, new and different conversation, no 110lb slober-monster stealing food whenever the doorbell rings, and they don't make me sit at the kid's table.

There are also some downsides. I do miss some of the pseudo-traditions that had evolved over the years. The trash-talking of the relatives who aren't present, watching my cousins grow from competative little kids into more well-adjusted teenagers (read: watching them argue with their parents), and my personal favorite: accidently insulting Mrs. Parke's cooking. I swear to god I don't do it on purpose. There always just one dish that I think is disgusting, and no sooner to I mention this (because I love my family and want to protect them from the toxic whatever) do I discover that Mrs. Parke made it and she's standing right next to me. Hee.

This Thanksgiving was a fun lesson on conversational dynamics. Tim, a co-worker of mine, invited me to have Thanksgiving with his wife and their friends. It was awsome. Now, Tim's wife Julia is in a doctoral program for psychology (Hi Alissa) and so most of the guests were also in the program. This meant most of the conversation revolved around psycology, their classes, and assorted books.

I didn't really mind. I contributed as best I can ("Hey, my mom's nickname for me was Oedipus. Whadaya think that means?"), but for the most part I was lost. Then after dinner some more guests showed up who were shall we say... of a more computer-geek conversation. With the addition of their numbers we achieve the critical mass required to move the converstion to great things like the Media Center OS, running IIS undetected on networks, and misspelled domain names. This unfortunately reduced the psych student's input to the conversation dramatically ("I watched TV once").

Anyway, it was a great time. I came home. Had a ceremonial playing of Alice's Restaurant and called it a night. Yay long weekends!

"I know theres a better place
 Than this place I'm living
 (How far is heaven?)
 And I just got to have some faith
 Just keep on giving
 (How far is heaven?)"
    Los Lonely Boys, Heaven

Tough day.

Had a meeting with my financial advisor today and he sketched out his proposed strategy for what I should do with my money. You have no idea how many clever ways there are to avoid paying taxes. Its great: I feel so sleazy.

Then the real whammy came like most whammies: when I was least expecting it. I'm sitting in the cafeteria at lunch with my team when my phone rings. Caller ID comes up 'Lisa'. I can't imagine why she would be calling in the middle of the day... unless its an emergency so I take it.

Turns out she's in Vegas. Chris took her to Vegas for her birthday: nice hotel in the middle of The Strip, shows, dancing, the whole nine yards. Though I understand why she called: just to brag to a friend I must confess to feeling extremely jealous and humbled. Lot's of stupid thoughts like: 'Gee maybe I should have taken her to Vegas last year for her birthday instead of that spa package.'

Whatever, I really REALLY need to find a way to stop letting stuff like this get to me. Have a happy Thanksgiving yall.

"Sometimes I need to be alone
 There’s times I need for you to phone
 Sometimes you make me feel so high
 There’s times I ask myself why>"
    Texas, Inner Smile

The weekend...

Well it was good. I saw a good play, The Causcasian Chalk Circle starring my friend Monique on Friday. Kind of minimal and abstract: some of the characters were represented by hand puppets, but I think they pulled it off beautifully.

Saturday during the day I had a second date with Amy. No, scratch that. I had an UN-date with Amy. I showed up at her place with flowers and even locked my keys in my car because I was so nervous. (Don't worry, mom makes me keep an extra key in my wallet for just such an occasion :-)

I had a lot of fun, but Amy insisted that it actually wasn't a date: just two people having fun. OK. Well, I'm not going to argue semantics. She's traveling for the next week and said she'll call when she get's back. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Went to a Birthday party for a woman I barely know on Saturday night. It was at her house in Bellevue and I have never seen so many people packed into a house. It was a great party, but I was feeling pretty anti-social. Just didn't have the inclination for polite small-talk. So I left early.

I got a thank you e-mail today from the birthday girl and some compliments that give me the distict impression this woman's interested in me. I don't know how I feel about that. I met her at The Century and all I really know about her is that she's very nice and a good dancer. The only strike against her is that she's 29 and has been for the last six years. Am I being age-ist? Maybe I'm just nervous about trying to date three people at once. I'll have to think about this one.

Have a good week, yall.

"But all my words come back to me
 In shades of mediocrity
 Like emptiness in harmony
 I need someone to comfort me."
    Simon & Garfunkle, Homeward Bound

Had another first date tonight. This one was a medical resident named Jill, and let me just say... Wow. This girl is really the total package: together yet easy going, intelligent yet unpretentious, attractive yet modest, and funny yet unassuming.

So of course there was almost no chemistry. I mean don't get me wrong: I had a great time and think she's fabulous, but I didn't get any sense of connection or... oh, I don't know. Maybe I was just intimidated.

Anyway, I definitely want to see her again. I know you can't go forcing something that's not meant to be, but everyone deserves a second chance, right? Even me.

In other news: My plans for a second date with Amy have been postponed indefinitely due to a death in her family. She's flying back to for the funeral this weekend. I feel really bad: I want to try and be consoling, but I feel like the best thing I can do it to just leave her alone for now.

I wrote her an email offering my sympathies and telling her that while I am an expert in the cheering people up department that she should take all the time she needs. She seems like such an upbeat person. I hope this doesn't change that.

Anyway, that's all the news from the pathetic world of Scott's Dating Life. Have a good week.

"Holy Shit"
    Me

Gwen just enlightened me with this little news item.

Scary...

"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and its goodbye Seattle!"
    Steve Martin, Roxanne

Well I had a pretty darn good first date tonight. I've had enough bad first dates that I've learned to make sure that the itinerary includes things I really want to do so that if things turn crappy I can still enjoy myself. Thankfully that was not the case tonight.

Her name is Amy and she's a law student. She's fun and has a really crazy laugh. I'm not sure if it has earned a place in my top five favorite laughs of all time list, but it was cool. That list (in case you were wondering):

1. David Chang
2. Neely Ellefson
3. Desirea Schmidt (Scooby Laugh)
4. Ted Maker
5. Desirea Schmidt (breathless hee-hee snort laugh)

"All babies love Chaka Khan"
    Eric, The Stranger

I really love Thursdays.

It starts the same as most weekdays. I leave my place. Walking past the day laborers looking for work always makes me feel so happy to have a job to go to.

Nine blocks later I arrive at my bus stop and that's where Thursdays really start to shine: the new stranger is available! Think of it like the old Lancaster "Happenings" on Spanish Fly. This weeks major feature was "Hostile Holiday Food: Cooking for people you hate." The Ipecac Cordials were my personal favorite.

My 20-30 minute bus ride is just long enough for me to get through all the parts I feel like reading and to take in the scenic parts of the trip: Going north along the east shore of Lake Union with the Seattle Skyline, The Needle, Queen Anne Hill, The Aurora Bridge, and the Olympic Mountains in the distance, The Arboredom (Sp?) with mist still clining to the shady inlets, and finally crossing Lake Washington with the Cascades and Mt. Rainer in the distance. Yeah, my commute can kick your commute's ass any day.

Roll into the office around 8:30am work till a little after 6:00pm. Then dinner, Salsa lessons with Ann and Bra-less Kim, and finally (what else?) Salsa dancing at The Century.

Stagger down the length of Pine St. Till I hit the market and then go North till I see the welcoming (albeit psychodelic) lights of the Hippy Graveyard, and then collapse exhausted.

I love Thursdays.

Marzipan: Hey! You're not a dead Ficus plant!
Homestar: You're so smawt! I'M Homestawunner!
    Homestar Runner: Halloween 2003

Interesting week. Scott Bullock (ScottBu) is leaving Microsoft. Scott was my lead for the last two years, and has worked on every version of Access that ever shipped. He's been at Microsoft since 1985. I'm pretty sad to see him go.

Also, I recieved notification that I'm getting my own office. Apparently there's a an open office right near my lead so the powers that be planned to un-double Yannick and I. Funny thing is... I really like where my current office is and I like sharing an office with Yannick. Sooo... I told them I didn't want to move. I think this might have been a first at Microsoft.

Finally, I've decided to give the online personals another go. Here's to hoping!

"Hippies! Hiiiipies! They're everywhere! They want to save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad. Heeellp!"
    Cartman, Having a Nightmare

THE MEATRIX

"There's a thousand pretty women... waitin' out there
 And they're all livin'... devil may care
 And I'm just the devil with love to spare"
    Shawn Colvin, Viva Las Vegas

I went dancing tonight and the law of probablitily finally caught up with me: I ran into Lisa and Chris at The Century. Being the mature guy that I am I danced with her once and then ran home. Immature? I've been called worse.

"You must remember this
 A kiss is still a kiss,
 A sigh is just a sigh
 The fundamental things apply
 As time goes by"
    Casablanca

God I love that movie. If you haven't seen it then get off your ass and go rent it. However, it does go a long way towards proving my theory that blondes are nothing but trouble. :-)

Anyway, I'm in the middle of another cooking disaster. This time I actually managed to start a fire in my oven. However, I did manage to clear the smoke before the smoke alarms went off by the cunning use of box fans.

I don't think I have the right genes for cooking.

"Well, take me back down where cool water flows, yeah.
 Let me remember things I love,
 Stoppin’ at the log where catfish bite,
 Walkin’ along the river road at night,
 Barefoot girls dancin’ in the moonlight."
    CCR, Green River

Well it looks like Gary Leon Ridgway (a.k.a. The Green River Killer) is going to be going away for a very long time. *SIGH* It would be nice if Seattle would get into the news for something nice for once.

Anyway, I've discovered that Winter in Seattle is designed to fuck with your head. My first year hear the winter just depressed the hell out of me: dark, rainy, cool, and with all my loved ones 2000+ miles away I was pretty depressed.

Now, I'm much more settled here, I have friends close by and I've actually grown to like the temperate, wet, gray days. We had such a beautiful sunny summer that I've been looking formward to the darker Winter days for a change. So of coarse its been FREEZING cold... yet Sunny. Stupid Seattle Winter...

"Everything that has a beginning has an end."
    The Oracle, Matrix: Revolutions

So I watched Revolutions this morning. Now I know what you're all saying: 'But Scott, the movie doesn't even come out in theaters till tomorrow?!' Hah! The Super Nerds of Redmond have ways of getting what they want!

Anyway, tempted as I am to post a bunch of spoilers I won't. I will say that my favorite seen is a slow-motion punch in the rain, my favorite line is when Trinity referes to the Merovigian as 'Merv', and my favorite character is still Link's obscenely hot girlfriend.

Should you go see it? Yes, but then what else is really out now. Brother Bear? Gimme a break...

"You're so witty why don't you take advantage of me?
 Yeah, you're not to bright are you?
 No.
 Perfect.
    Seth Green, The Italian Job

I (finally) posted a bunch of picture I've been sitting on for the last couple of years. They don't really have any descriptions or anything useful like that, but they're up. Links are on the right towards the bottom.