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Who is this person, I bet you are either asking or have asked yourself...
Well, I am a 32 yr. old (Oct. 8,2000) woman, living in South East Iowa. My father and step mother live in South Dakota, and my mother and step father live in Ill. I also have a biological brother and sister in law in Co. where my bro is finishing his education, and family scattered all over the world, both biological and relatives by choice.
I have been married twice, once to my daughter's father in 1988, when I was 19 and I know married him for all the wrong reasons. For one I was way to young, and there were a lot of other issues as well but did get one great kid in the form of my 13 year old daughter, Amanda! Steve and I divorced in 1989, and it is not entirely his fault that we broke up. I had a few serious relationships in between then and now, and am now happily married to my best friend, and the love of my life, Floyd Cooper Jr. or F. J. as we call him. He and I have been together for over 10 years, and we have been through hell and back. I figure he has stood beside me for all these years, I think he is a keeper!
I call him the quiet trickster because he is generaly very quiet, but he also makes me laugh! He has a great sense of humor, brains, a great body, great looks, a lot of innate mechanical ability, and is one hell of a father to both of the kids!
In some ways it is like living with Tim Taylor of Tool Time, except my husband's stuff generaly works, and if it doesn't, well... he is enough of a perfectionist to MAKE it work!
Of course he has his faults, but then we all do. I have learned to live with them over the years, because the good things about him generaly outweigh the bad!
We were married on Oct. 31, 1996, and our son, Logan, was born 2 weeks early in August of 1997.
I have been hit by lightning twice, (I am sure you have read that story by now...) a dried out alcoholic (12 years sober in 2001), an avid horsewoman when I have the time and energy to ride, Womens Traditional Northern Plains Buckskin dancer, and past princess, an avid reader, (I love sci-fi, fantasy, and Native American, and not those campy romance or westerns that don't know jack about the Native peoples, LOL,) and member of the Hail Stone Society, and a living history re-enactor (pre 1840's) among other things.
I love jokes, and to laugh, and I get teased about my laugh a lot. I have also been told that my laugh is infectious, and infamous ("so you're Spot! I've heard about you! Laugh for me, just once ok?! Please? I have heard so much about it!") Yeah, as if, LOL!
I have also been told that not only do I dance to the beat of a different drummer, I have my own bloody band! I wonder if that is a good thing or a bad thing...Well, at least I can say that I am definitely unique!
I have been to Europe, (Germany, France, and Luxomberg), Canada, Mexico, and most of the continental states, and hope to "do" Europe again soon!
I collect Native American art and things, and not the campy made in Taiwan cheapie stuff either (no offense to the Thai people, most of the stuff is either junk or completely inaccurate,) so I prefer to make my own, and when I can't make it, I will either barter, trade or buy what I want...
I also collect bone Tang Dynasty Horses, horse figurines, books, smaller Netsuke, (mainly horses)and lightning related jewelry and nick nacks. I LOVE to cook, especially my famous Fry Bread and wojape. I have had a few riots over my fry bread a time or two, I am proud to say!
I belong to the Sisterhood version of the Mafia, (as we jokingly call it!) it is an ever growing and ever changing group of kindred spirits who are also best friends, and sisters.
We are not all blood relations, most are unofficial relative by choice, (which is an even tighter bond than blood because you are CHOOSING that person to be a part of your family, and with blood relations, it is an accident of birth). Someday when the time is right, I will have the making of relatives ceremony with these women to make it official. While there are too many of these beautiful and talented women to list, my closest and favorite sisters are Sharon (Butterfly Woman), Becky (Wiacca Ska, or White Feather) Trina (Big Heart Woman, WHO LOVES YOU DEARLY! I LOVE YOU JULIE!) Ronnie (known as V in the tattoo world), and Becky Loyet (The good mother of many). Each one is so beautiful, inside and out, and I thank the Creator every day for the most precious gift of their friendships!
From these women I also have a collection of nieces and nephews, and no, I do not have any favorites, but my nieces Lexxie and Amber and my nephew Cole are close to the top of the list!
I also have a few close "brother"/friends, Mike Pendergast, "Mad" Max Dearning, Ray from the lightning list, Joseph, and Walter, whom I see as an Elder, and worthy of the title! There are also others, but there are again too many to list, so I am naming just a few.
I will add more as time goes by, cause ya know, it is a little akward to sit and write about yourself, because you do not see yourself the same way that others do!
One lesson that I thought I would share, after hearing so much of this lately from so many others is simply this...
You are who and what you are for a reason. You cannot change this fact, period.
The past is the past, and nothing can be done to change that either.
You can make your whole life miserable by holding a grudge for something someone did to you or your ancestors, but in the end, all you are doing is wasting energy that can be put to better use by letting go of the anger, and substituting loving and compassionate forgiveness.
In the end, you will be a happier, healthier, and better person for it.
For many many years, I would pray to the Creator to make me something else, skinnier, prettier, popular, talented, or even of one bloodline instead of being mixed, and so on and ended up hating myself for the inability to change what could not be.
By accepting myself, and forgiving myself, as well as my ancestors, I have become a WHOLE person, instead of the shadow of a woman who was either to afraid or ashamed to accept herself for who and what she is.
The same with the past, I have learned to forgive my tormenters, as well as prejudicial, judgmental, and oppressive people with loving and compassionate forgiveness for what has been done out of fear, ignorance, and cruelty.
So the next time you start to rail against past wrongs, do not FORGET them, because we can never forget these lessons, but FORGIVE them and yourself with loving compassion, ok? You, and the world around you will be much better for it.
The Way Out...
