If anyone has any lightning related jokes, or any native jokes, that you would like to see posted, please email them to me, using my address link at the bottom of the page. Proper credit will be given for anyone who submits a joke or cartoon when/if it is posted. Humor is very important in Native culture, it serves many purposes besides the obvious of making someone laugh. It can also be used to show affection to someone, or to get a point across, or to lighten the mood, or perhaps to teach a lesson.
Native people are known for teasing people that they like, or making jokes about them.
Humor is used by the Heyoka, or sacred clowns to prevent the people from becomming too deeply involved in ceremony, as protection for themselves or the people, to teach lessons to the people, and to ridicule someone for unaceptable behavior.
Warning, some of these are inapropriate for younger eyes!
The Lone Ranger!.....(I got this from my friend Nina, blame her!)
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a
beer.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walks in and says, "Who owns
the
big
white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stands up, hitches his gun belt, and says, "I do,
why?"
The cowboy looks at the Lone Ranger and says, "I just thought you'd
like
to
know that your horse is just about dead!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rush outside and sure enough, Silver was
wobbly-legged, bent over, and about to die from heat exhaustion.
The Lone Ranger gets him some water and soon, Silver starts feeling a
little better.
The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto and says, "Tonto, I want you to run in
circles around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to
help
cool him off."
Tonto says, "Yes, Kemosabe" and takes off running in circles around
Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returns to the
bar to finish his drink.
A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who
owns that big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him
this time?"
The cowboy looks him in the eye and says.........................
(WAIT............ I JUST LOVE THIS.........)
"Nothin', but you left your Injun running!"
From my brother Tom in Floridy.....
Tontoo goes Hunting....(No relation to Tonto, sorry!)
Tontoo was excited about his new bow and arrow. So, he went hunting.
He spotted a small brown bear and shot at it but missed.
There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned round to see a big black bear.
The bear said "you've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have sex."
Tontoo decided to bend over.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Tontoo soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot at it but missed.
There was another tap on his shoulder.
A huge grizzly bear stood right next to him and said "That was a huge mistake, now you have two choices - get mauled to death or have rough sex."
Again, Tontoo thought it was better to live.
Although he survived, it took several months before he recovered.
Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot at it but missed.
Then there was a tap on his shoulder.
He turned round to find a giant polar bear standing there.
The polar bear said "Admit it, Tontoo,
you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
Words to live by...(From Ray Ferry)
Sometimes you are sad...
and nobody sees your tears...
Sometimes you are happy....
and no one see your smile...
But fart just one time....
The Missionary....(from Andy Nichols)
A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to
farm
and
build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return
home.
He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to
speak
English, so he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.
He points to
a
tree
and says to the chief, "This is a tree." The chief looks at the tree
and
grunts, "Tree."
The missionary is pleased with the response. They walk a little
farther
and
the missionary points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." Hearing
this,
the
chief looks and grunts, "Rock."
The missionary is really getting enthusiastic about the results when
he
hears
a rustling in the bushes...
As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple
of
natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity! The missionary is
really
flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and
kills
them.
The missionary goes ballistic and yells at the chief. "I've spent
years
teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how
could
you kill these people in cold blood that way?"
The chief replied, "My bike."
THE BRONZE RAT
A Cheyenne guy went to Chinatown in San Francisco. While there he found a bronze rat at a thrift store.
"How much do you want for the rat" he asked.
"$3 for the rat and $1000 for the story that goes with it" said the shopkeeper.
"Just give me the rat," the Cheyenne said, and then he left with it.
As he walked down the street he noticed a couple of rats following him. As he walked further, more and more rats started chasing him. By the time he got to the bay, there were thousands of rats chasing him. So he climbed up a pole and threw the bronze rat into the water. To his amazement, all the rats jumped into the water.
The Cheyenne then returned to the thrift store. "Ahh" the china man said. "Now you would like to hear the story?"
"No" said the Cheyenne, "I just came back to see if you had any bronze white men!"
MONTANA DEPARTMENT OF FISH AND GAME ADVISORY ON BEARS
Helena Montana, January 31, 1999 -
In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field.
"We advise that outdoorsmen should wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them," a spokesman said.
"We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear".
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear paw prints and scat.
A grizzly's paw is larger and its claws are longer than that of a black bear. Black bear scat contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear scat has little bells in it and smells like pepper.
Anglos have BC and AD to measure time. Native People only have the three BC's***(see bottom of page)
This wagon train is heading across the desert, when all of a sudden the wagon master notices that on all sides of the valley, there are Indian guys. He quickly forms the wagons into the "Hollywood" circle, to protect the families in the train. Nothing happens.
Soon, drums are heard pounding out in the distance, BUM, bum, bum, bum, BUM, bum, bum, bum, BUM, bum, bum, bum.......(the famous Hollywood drumbeat from the John Ford movies)
The wagon master tells the train, "I don't like the sound of this...." From out in the distance comes another voice, saying, "We don't like the sound of it either. He's not our regular drummer!"
Two Lakota guys and a dude from New York are on a hunting trip. On the first day, one Lakota goes out, and less than an hour later returns with a deer. The guy from New York is blown away. "How did you get your deer so fast?!"
"Easy" says the Lakota guy, "I looked for tracks, found them, followed them, and got my deer."
The next day the 2nd Lakota guy goes out, and less than an hour later returns with a deer. The guy from New York is blown away again, just flabbergasted.
"How did you get YOUR deer so fast?!" "It's simple" says the Lakota guy, "I looked for tracks, found them, followed them, and there was the deer."
On the third day, the New York guy goes out. He doesn't return, and when darkness begins to fall, the two Lakota guys go looking for him. They found him lying at the base of a hill, bloodied up, clothes torn, and bones broken.
"What happened to you?" they asked.
"I did just what you told me to do, I looked for tracks, found them, followed them, and the damn train ran me over."
John Wayne Toilet Paper
A Cheyenne man goes into a grocery store, and asks for a package of toilet paper. The clerk offers him 3 kinds, Charmin, Best Brand, and Generic.
The Cheyenne man takes the generic. He comes back in a week later, throws the remainder of the toilet paper at the store clerk and says, "I don't want no cheap John Wayne toilet paper!"
The clerk laughs and says, "It's not John Wayne toilet paper, it's GENERIC toilet paper." The Cheyenne guy tells him, 'You can call it whatever you want, but it's rough, tough, and won't take crap off nobody!"
Go To Hell
A Dine' guy is sitting in a bus stop with two old Anglo men. The first Anglo guy says, "Hey Herb, where you going for vacation this year?" Herb tells him, "I'm going to Montana to fish this year", The first guy looks at him and exclaims, "What you want to go there fer? They ain't nothin but a bunch of damned Indians up there."
Herb then says, "Well, where you goin?" The first guy says, "I'm going to Arizona and soak up some sun!"
Herb looks at him and yells, "You moron, there's nothing but a bunch of Indians in Arizona!"
Then the little Dine' guy speaks up and comments, "Why don't you both just go to hell! There's no Indians there."
Between the reservation and the city, there is a road that marks the boundary lines. On one side of the road are the res dogs, and they just kind of lie around staying cool.
On the city side are the city dogs, and they always chase cars as they go down the road, barking, "Bow-wow, Bow-wow".
One day the city dogs ask the res dogs, "How come you never chase cars with us?" The res dogs respond, "What's the point, it's just a waste of time. The cars don't do anything when you chase them." The city dogs tell the res dogs that they think its just a lot of fun, so finally the res dogs agree to try it just once.
The next car comes down the road, and the dogs from both sides chase the car. The city dogs bark, "Bow-wow, Bow-wow" and the res dogs chase too, but they bark, "Bow-wow, Bow-wow, Bow-wow, Bow-wow eeeehhhhhhhhhhh." :-)
What did the Dine' lady say first time she went into Pizza Hut?
"Who threw up on my fry bread?"
NASA asked this elder Dine' guy to record a message to put on their newest S.E.T.I. satellite, along with messages from other cultures and languages. He records the message, the satellite is launched, and one day CNN broadcasts the messages being sent into outer space from the spacecraft. A huge belly laugh is heard coming from the entire northern portion of Arizona. When CNN asks why the people are laughing, a man from Chinle tells them, "The message says that if they are hearing this, to stay quiet and don't respond, because as soon as the white man knows where those aliens live, they'll come over for dinner, and end up NEVER going home!"
Get "Em Whle They Are Little!
An Apache guy, who had spent his whole life in the desert, goes to visit a friend who had moved to town. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on.
While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears this whistle
-- Whooee da Whoee! -
- but doesn't know what it is.
BAM!!, he's hit by the train and tossed to the side of the tracks. It was only a glancing blow, so he was lucky enough to live through it with a few broken bones and some bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party one evening.
While in the kitchen getting some wakolapi, he suddenly hears the teapot whistling.
He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teapot into an unrecognizable lump of metal.
His friend, hearing the noise, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the Apache guy, "Why'd you bust up my teapot?"
The desert man replies,
"Shii' kiis', you gotta kill these things when they're small."
Ya Think They Will Stay?
Two Indians at Plymouth Rock watch a huge ship full of white people pulling into the harbor. The one looks at the other and asked "Do you think they'll stay overnight?".
Did you know that vegetarian is an indigenous word?
Translated it means
"Can't hunt"!
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
What do Eskimos get from rubbing noses too many times?
Sniffilis.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
Remember, one cannot make footprints in the sands of time by sitting on their butt, and who wants to leave butt prints in the sands of time?
The Grass Dancer
A Lakota boy walks in to a bar and notices a monkey dressed as a grass dancer sitting on the bar. The Sioux sits down and orders a beer, and keeps glancing at the monkey. The monkey's owner notices and says "Watch this" and starts to pound out a northern plains grass dance song on the bar.
To the amazement of the Lakota, the monkey starts to dance! The monkey is one of the best that he has ever seen! After a few moments, the Lakota reaches for his wallet and takes out a $20 bill and puts it down in front of the monkey. At the end of the song, the monkey's owner notices the money on the bar and tries to return it to the Sioux, saying " I understand the tradition of honoring dancers with money, but this is too much!"
The Lakota just shakes his head and replies, " I just can't help myself, them Pawnee kids are just so darn cute when they are little!"
A New Fur Coat
An Ogalala guy goes into a bar in Scenic, South Dakota every night and gets drunked up. When he is good and drunk, he starts looking for a fight, and mops the floor with everyone there! It gets to the point where no one will go in to the bar because they don't want to get their butts kicked!
Well, the bar tender is desperate because this is costing him lots of buisness, so he starts to look for a way to get back at the Lakota boy.
One day he is reading the paper when he sees an add for a traveling carnival that has a fighting gorilla, and the will pay you $100 to stay in the ring for 5 minutes with it. So far, they have not had to pay anyone, because no one has made it for more than 1 minute the gorilla. The bar tender gets an idea, and goes to the gorilla's handler, and explains his problem to him. Then he asks if he may borrow the gorilla for a day or so. The Handler agrees to bring it by the bar later, and the bartender goes home.
That night, the Ogalala boy goes to the bar, and gets drunked up, and starts ranting about how he will just fix everyone's little red wagon, and so on. The bartender leans over the bar and whispers to the Ogalala boy that there is a guy in the back room who will clean his clock! Well this rilles the Ogalala boy, who stomps off to the back room. The bartender follows him back, and as a precaution, locks him in with the gorilla!
A huge fight ensues, and carries on for about 15 minutes! Finaly the door is blown off of the hinges, and out walks the Ogalala boy who is dusting off his hands and shaking his head rulefully. "Man,"he says, "Those Sicangu boys, you give them a new fur coat, and they just think they're it!"
Must Have Froze To Death
A Pawnee man is walking home from a powwow one warm summer evening when a wasicu (whiteman) in a convertable pulls over and offers him a ride. As it is a warm evening, the breeze feels pretty good, and the Pawnee remarked on this. The wasicu responded that the faster you go, the colder you get, and kicked it up to around 60 mph. Just when the Pawnee guy was realy starting to feel pretty good, they arrived in front of his house.
Well the next morning was even warmer than the day before, so he went out and saddled up a horse "to cool off a little". He had the horse trotting, but that just wasn't going to do it, so he kicked the horse in to a lope. Well that felt a little better, but not much, so the went to a gallop. That was better, but not where he wanted to be, so they went to an all out run.
Now, horses can only go for so long before they give out, and that is exactly what happened to this poor animal. As the poor horse fell over dead, the Pawnee jumped off, and nudged him with his toe, muttering, "Hmmmm, he must have frozen to death!"
My WHAT For Dinner?!
This one is for all of my Lakota relations! Warning, this joke is not for younger eyes or ears!
One summer day, Iktome, the one you call the Spider yelled to his wife, "Hey you old bat, you need to cook up those 2 fine fat buffalo livers that I gave to you yesterday, and boil up some timpsila, (wild turnips)because we are having company today!"
You may have guessed that he and his wife did not get along very well, when in fact, they hated each other, but he was the joke of the camp, and no other man wanted a lazy wife, so they were stuck with each other.
"Which one of your lazy good for nothing friends did you invite over now!" she screamed back at him.
"My good friend Coyote is comming over, and you will be nice to him, or I will beat you! You had better make some wojape, beacuse you know how Coyote likes something sweet after he eats! Maybe this won't be enough, you know how he can pack it in! I will go see if I can get some ducks or something! If he comes over while I am gone, you keep him outside because he has a wandering hand, and a roving eye!" and out the door he went.
"Yeah, I know who has a wandering eye! You are the one who almost got your eyes cut out for letting them wander, not Coyote! I also know who can pack in the food! You men will eat all the food, and if I am lucky, I will get some scrawny old timpsila and that will be all! Boy do these livers smell good! And they are starting to crisp up nicely! I'm sure that they won't miss just one little taste!" so she cut off a small bite,and another, and another, and pretty soon one liver was gone!
"Well, he will beat me for eating one, so I may as well eat the other," she thought to herself, so she ate the other, and it was as good as the first! As she was disposing of the evidence, she heard some scratching at the door.
As she opened it, Coyote came barging in. "Hey woman, where is my kola waste (good friend) Ikto? I was supposed to come over and vist, but I don't see him!"
"Oh, he is out trying to kill himself, or some ducks , or something! I don't know when he will be back, and I realy don't care!"
Upon hearing this, Coyote began to leer at her, and trying to slip his hand up her dress. "Well," she thought, it may be fun, because that old geezer that I married can't satisfy me anymore, and I my be able to get out of eating the livers too!"
Then Coyote started to murmer, "you know, Ikto and I share EVERYTHING together, and you may just enjoy yourself for a change!" so off to the sleeping robes they went!
When they were done, and they were getting dressed, Coyote sniffed the air and said "What is for supper, something sure smells good, but all I see are some timpsila!"
"Well," she said "I always serve my guests the same thing and everyone always enjoys it!"
Coyote made an impatient gesture and demanded "Well what is it?!"
" I always serve my guests their own susu, or testicles," she remarked as she was reaching for a HUGE knife. "Everyone always says how fast I am at cutting them off, and how good I can make them taste, and I realy need to start cooking them because Ikto will be home soon,and you know what a terrible temper he has! I promise that you won't feel a thing, I am so fast!"
Well, Coyote was a bit alarmed at hearing this, and started to edge towards the door sayin "Well, I have to go make water, and then you can have them, but you might want to let me do this first, otherwise there will be a big mess!" and out the door he went taking to his heels, just as fast as he could go!
About this time here come Ikto, empty handed. "Where is he going in such a hurry, old woman?" he asked his wife.
She planted her hands on her hips, and replied, "Don't you ever invite him over here again! He ain't got the Indian spirit of sharing! When he saw those two fine livers you gave me cooking away on the fire, he grabbed them both and took off with them!"
Ikto looked at his wife, then at the retreating figure of his friend then started to chase after Coyote screaming "Wait, wait, Kola (my friend)! Wait for me! That's my dinner you have there! I just want one! Only one!"
Coyote looked over his shoulder and replied, "My friend, if you can catch me, you can have them both!"
Don't Step In The Hoya
It was election time and G.W. Bush decided to go out to the local reservation and try to get the Native American vote. They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech.
G.W. Bush had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting
more and more excited. "I promise better education opportunities for
Native Americans!"
The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya Hoya". Ole Georgie was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was encouraged
by their enthusiasm.
"I promise gambling reforms to allow a Casino on the Reservation!"
"Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd, stomping their feet.
"I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native
Americans!"
The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"
After the speech, Ole Georgie was touring the Reservation, and
saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Since he was raised on a ranch, and
knew a bit about cattle, he asked the Chief if he could get closer to
take a look at the cattle.
"Sure," the Chief said, "but be careful not to step in the hoya."
Mitakuye Oyasin~ In The Tradition Of The Sweat Lodge...
One year for Christmas an old Lakota guy got a microwave from his kids. All winter, he never used it.
When spring came, he got an urge for turtle soup, but he did not want to go through all the trouble of killing it and cleaning it.
One fine morning, he went out and caught a turtle and carried it home. "Turtle soup sounds awfully good," he said to himself.
"But it is an awful lot of trouble to kill it and clean it." as he eyed the microwave. Struck by sudden inspiration, he grabbed the turtle and shoved it into the microwave. He set the timer for one hour and turned it on.
Every twenty-five minutes, he would open the door. To check on the turtles progress. When at last it dinged, he went to see if it was done. As he approached the microwave, he heard a scratching sound. When he opened the door, out came the turtle saying, "Mitakuye Oyasin!, Mitakuye Oyasin!, Mitakuye Oyasin!"
What To Do With A Dead Horse
The tribal wisdom of the Lakota People, passed on from generation to
generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead
horse, the best strategy is to dismount.
In modern education and government, however, a whole range of far more
advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing Riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead
horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Re-classifying the dead horse as "living, impaired".
8. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
9. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the speed.
10. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead
horse's performance.
11. Doing a productivity study to see if lighters riders would improve
the dead horse's performance.
12. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less
costly, carries lower overhead, and therefore contributes substantially
more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
13. Re-writing the expected performace requirements for all horses.
14. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
The Changes-the-lightbulb Song
Q. How many Oglala's does it take to change a lightbulb?A. Seven, One to do the job, and six to sing the changes-the-lightbulb song!
A Seven Course Meal
Q. What is an Oglala's idea of a seven course meal?A. A six pack and a puppy!
A Rez Funeral
Q. What is half a mile long, and moves at 2 miles per day?
A. A Rez Funeral procession with only 1 set of jumper cables!
A Chihuahua On The Rez
Q. What do you call a chihuahua on the Rez?A. A-Cup-A-Soup!
Septic Tanks
Rosebud just got a shipment of septic tanks from IHS... as soon as they learn how to drive them they are gonna attack Pine Ridge!
The Worlds Biggest Zoo!
Did you know that Pine Ridge has the biggest zoo in the world?
They finaly built a fence around Rosebud!
14 In A Volkswagon bug
How do you get 14 guys from Rosebud in to a Volkswagon bug?
Offer them a job!
At The Motuary
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what has happened.
A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken straight to the first body.
"A XHOSA, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile Inspector", says the Coroner.
The Detective is taken to the second dead man.
"A SOTHO, 25, won the lottery, spent it all on Brandy. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Nothing unusual here", thinks the Detective, and asks to be shown the last body.
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. A ROSEBUD SIOUX, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Detective.
To which the coroner replies: "Thought he was having his picture taken".
A Cold Winter
The Indians asked their Chief in autumn, if the winter was going to be cold
or not.
Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the
winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to
collect wood to be prepared.
Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the
National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?"
The man on the phone responded, "This winter was going to be quite
cold indeed."
So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more
wood to be prepared.
A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going
to
be a very cold winter? "
"Yes", the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."
So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find
every
scrap of wood they can find.
Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: "Are
you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely" the man replies, "the Indians are collecting wood
like crazy!"
Iktome's Bad Dream
Once in the middle of the night, Iktome woke up in a cold sweat after a bad dream. His friend Coyote, who was visiting noticed something wrong. "Kanji, (cousin), what's the matter?" he asked.
"I had a very bad dream," said Iktome.
"Well, what did you dream of?"
"I dreamed I saw a very pretty winchinchala (young lady) about to take a bath in the stream."
"It doesn't sound like a very bad dream, cuz" said Coyote.
"This girl was taking her clothes off. I saw her naked, and she had a very fine body."
"Mite Kola, my friend, this is not a bad dream!"
"I dreamed I was hiding behind some bush at quite a distance from her. As I was watching her, my penis began to grow. It grew exceedingly long. It was winding toward her like a long snake..."
"Kanji, there's nothing wrong with this dream."
"Wait, it get's worse, my penis was like a long, long rope. It went all the way over to that girl. It went into the water. It touched her."
"Kanji, cousin, let me tell you, I wish I had such a dream!"
"Now, my friend, the tip of my penis entered that girl. She didn't even notice it at first."
"Kola, I'm telling you, this is a fine dream!!!"
"Wait, it gets worse, when my penis entered the girl all the way. She seemed to like it a lot."
"This is as good a dream as I have ever heard of, my friend!"
"Just at that moment I heard a great noise. I had been so excited in my dream that I hadn't noticed a team of horses pulling a big wagon. It was right on top of me, a wasichu's----a white man's---wagon. It was coming at a dead run, and the white man was whipping his horses. This wagon was very heavy, my friend, it had heavy wheels of iron. It was going between me and that girl......"
" Mite Kola, my friend, you were right. This is indeed a very bad dream!" said Coyote.
Animosity
Two Chippewas boarded a flight out of Minneapolis. One sat
in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.
Just
before takeoff, a Sioux got on and took the aisle seat next
to the two Chippewa.
The Sioux kicked off his moccasins,
wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Chippewa
in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a
coke." "No problem," said the Sioux, "I'm in the aisle
seat, I'll get it for you!"
While he was gone, one of the Chippewas picked up the
Sioux's moccasin and spat in it. When he returned with the
coke, the other Chippewa said, "That looks good, I think
I'll have one too."
Again, the Sioux obligingly went to
fetch it and while he was gone, the other Chippewa picked
up the other moccasin and spat in it.
The Sioux returned
and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane
was landing, the Sioux slipped his feet into his shoes and
knew immediately what had happened.
"How long must this go on?" he asked.
"This fighting
between our tribes? This hatred? This animosity? This
Spitting in Moccasins and Pissing in Cokes?"
Spuds McKennzie
You know, my relations, the Oglala's think they have the market cornered on Indian sobriety.
They have sobriety walks, runs, marches, rally's, and powwows, the list goes on and on, but ya know, they finaly took the whole sobriety thing on Pine Ridge too far!
Last week they ate Spuds McKennzie!
***
Before Columbus
Before Custer
Before Commodity....
Before Costner!!
Be sure to check out page 2 of really bad humor for still more of the same!
I am contantly looking for more good jokes, so if you have any native or lightning related jokes, PLEASE pass them along, and if they are not too obnoxious, I will be happy to post them!
How To Get Out Of Here...
Stop The Insanity! (The Way Out Of Here)
Page 2 Of Really Bad Humor!
Page 3 Of Really Bad Humor! (Had Enough Yet?!)
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