Editorials
12/20/99-The Love of Wrestling-By: Elephant Man-Why is it that we do this "sport", known as wrestling? Is it because we have some sort of mental condition that makes us want to harm ourselves? Is it becuase we feel we'll be more excepted if we do something different? Or is it that we just really like imitating the spectacular soap operas we see on TV?
The truth is, we do it because it's fun. For some reason, every time I hear Inner Circle start playing Bad Boys, and I hear the commentator say, "Making his way to the ring...", I just can't help but get excited. I know that for the next few minutes, I will become someone I never thought I could be. I will become a warrior. A defender of the weak. I will become a gladiator in a battle against my enemy. I will become the Elephant Man.
Why is it we choose personas for ourselves? The reason is that we feel that if we become someone else, we will posess powers that we did not have before. I CAN jump off a ladder into my opponent, and somehow I will hit him just the right way to cause him pain. I CAN somehow pick him up over me, and throw him as though he weighs nothing at all. I gain strength and courage I never knew I had.
But most importantly, The Excitment comes from knowing what exactly is happening. You know that soon, you and your opponent, your friend, will put on a show for others. You both will get bumped around, but more importantly, you will entertain. You will hear the reaction from the crowd, hear them Boo you when you fight dirty, Cheer for you when you defeat the villain. Sure, it's not real, but try telling anyone in my fed that it's easy, or that it doesn't hurt. Tell them that it's just a bunch of sweaty guys grabbing each other. For us it's more. Much more.
So when I next step into "the squared circle", I will put my body on the line, not for anybody but myself. And we all do it for the love. The love of wrestling.
10/29/99-Stupid Americans part III-By: Sonny Ono-Well ladies and Stupid Americans, Sonny is back with another editorial. May Sonny say that he was very impressed with his wrestling at Oct 14th. Unfortunately Sonny had to job to some pussy named Prof. Palp, or so his shirt said. You know if that shirt was made in Japan you could have put your whole name, but no crappy American shirt. Sonny also had to fill in for a lazy Irish man named Packy. What's wrong Packy you too lazy to wrestle, you should be American. Now Sonny is the tag champion with Pratt. Now I am very disappointed because he is American, but Sonny will show him how to wrestle. Sonny finally have to say that Sonny is challenging Butane for the lightweight championship. You are too fat and lazy to have belt. Sonny deserve it. Ohh and Downtown Clown, I like you, I am happy you are not dead.
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