a good night for complaining

Need a girl. Sick of being single. Sick of fantasy. I don't even really mean anything sexual. I just need a girl. It's been alittle more than a year since Ive had a girl. Jesus Christ. Is that right? Let me think about it for a second. --- Yeah, more than a year. Had a girl that i hardly did shit with. Then a year before that i had an awsome relationship. Awsome till the end that is. So actually, its been two years. Jesus Christ.

you know what i hate? lets say you have a window selected, the icon on the task bar at the bottom of the screen should should be selected too, right? Well sometimes the wrong icon is selected. Like the internet window is selected, but my IM icon is selected. so if i wanna click on the IM icon, my IM will minimize. I hate that shit.

you know what else i hate? You can't always highlight text just right.

try this, only highlight the "inger don't cro" part of the following sentence...

*My fingers don't cross, but they create.*

maybe its only my computer, i dont know, but i can't do it. I hate that shit, too.

I hate that i'm at home not doin shit tonight. -im just gettin over bein sick.- but i hate almost any night im at home not doing anything. I hate how people assume that quiet people want to be left alone. That's a big one. I hate that soooooooo much. How much of that one is my fault though? If you see someone quiet, your either going to assume that he's not happy, and wants no one to talk to him, -or you just have nothing to say to someone who also has nothing to say. I hate that. I hate how people assume that i want to be anti-social. I don't. I just get quiet in a lot of situations. so, here i am, like many nights, at home, doing nothing. but, im makin the best of it. adding on to my site.

I just re-read what ive typed so far. it goes from, 'i dont got a girl', to, 'i'm a computer nerd who's anti-social'. Call me crazy, but i think i see a connection there. maybe i should become a spoda and get some gansta bitches. yeah! i'll treat every girl i meet like shit. I'll become a complete asshole and have a completly phoney personality. Then i'll get a girl. and i'll FUCKIN HATE HER.

there's never an easy way out, is there? last night i had a dream that i was with the girl that ive fantasized about for years, even thoguh i havnt seen her for years. "oh great, now he's a potential stalker". i was happier than ive ever been. but guess what.. she wants nothing to do with me. round about the time i meet her was when i realized a pattern in my life: I find a girl who wants me, i dont wanna get with her, but later i do, and she doesn't want me anymore. that's happened quite a few times. you'd think i'd learn, but that's ridiculous. why would i learn from my mistakes? I'm an idiot.

on a lighter note, i got alot of sleep last night. I slept till THREE O'CLOCK!!! which is pretty good considering what i wrote in entry1. it felt so awsome. i completly forgot what a good night's sleep was like. The bed was my freind that night. "oh great, now he's a pervert". my freind as opposed to my enemy, meaning the nights i can't sleep i hate being in bed.

well, you've learned a bit about me tonight, and i'm tired of typing. so, i bid you, so long...