it feels like life is over. Is there life after highschool? Was your life in highschool how you wanted it to be? What happened to how things were in grade school? You're whole highschool career was ahead of you. You bitch about how much school sucks, but you dont know how much you'll miss it when it's over. Time for college. Where the things you do are actually going to spell out the rest of your life. It's not all fun and games. I wish I had known highschool was all fun and games. I didn't realize it at the time. But now I know, and I can't go back.

I know i'll be saying the same thing once college is over, and i gotta get a job. I won't let myself be happy cuz i'll always wanna live in the past. I need a girl. so then i can be happy now. and i wont be such a moody bastard.

whatever.

Unless im asleep. Actual sleep is so cool. I wish i could dream just alittle more vividly. ...truely living in a fantasy world.

I hope college changes my life. i hope everything changes my life. I hope the rest of my life goes right, happily.

GOD!!!, I get so sick of bitching about this shit. Should i have started playing football when i was 6 years old? Sholud I have beat up on kida smaller than me in grade school? Should i have always done what everyone else did? Would I be normal and happy today?

Not to say that's what everyone did, but maybe i should have just been normal to begin with. maybe i tried, but couldn't. I just wish i could do it all over. Do it right.

But thats not gonna happen. so enjoy it now, right?

whatever.