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The Opposite Side of Love (a rough draft) August 2006

The opposite side of love is not hate,
that takes too much passion,
and besides it was not my fashion
to hate.

The beginning of indifference toward you was subtle.
It insinuated itself between us about the eighth year.
We no longer called each other dear, felt friendly much
or kind.

I lay in your arms at night opposum-like,
lest you should show any interest in anything more than sleep.
My mind was shallow but my rest was deepened
by my pretense.

When I was awake and stirring started
you became the opposum-like one.
I knew all along by your breathing you
were awake.

Perhaps you knew the same of me
since we both had times of pretense.
I wouldn't let down my defense or anything else for
what 'we' wanted.

I was cruel and cold and increasingly bold
in my disrespect of 'us', there had become no us.
We were merely two strangers living in the same house,
a sad existence.

I'm glad we had stopped the blatant warfare.
That left me tearing out my hair and had you any left,
I would have wanted to pull out yours as well.
Nature stopped me.

Thirty-five years later we became civil again,
not friends, but mature enough to exchange words,
if not affection, for we neither truly cared about
the other.

Divorce can do that I understand
although I wouldn't recommend it as a solution
My resolution is that it never happen again
in my lifetime.

copyright 2006 carolyninjoy

Hush Child

Making the choice
to silence my voice.
Stop sharing when
no one's caring
whether I speak or not.
I put them on the spot
by asking "What do you think?"
They sit dazed and blink,
unsure what to say.
"Please ask me another day."

Shhhh, be still little one,
the day is almost done.
The feather comforter waits,
and all unimportant dates
will blur together into the fog of the past.
Merging things of no import which didn't last.
You moved three steps forward.
So what if one step was toward
the past instead of future.

Now is when you live.
You're able to forgive
all things from everyone,
although the initial feeling stung.
You'll get on with life,
best by eliminating strife.
Life is short.
Live it now.

copyright 2006 carolyninjoy August 2006

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