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[Fade up to a backstage office in the 1st Mariner Arena.] [Heidi, the acting commissioner of OLW, sits in a chair, the kind you’d normally see in a computer lab. Her hair is styled, framing her face, and her crystal blue eyes are cast towards the papers littering her desk. A set of pens, in black, blue and red, sit next to her, as does a small foam “stress ball”. For her part, Heidi continues to sit, a pen in her hand, scratching away busily at a document.] [The quiet is broken when there is a knock at the door.] Heidi [wearily]: Come in. [The door swings open, to reveal OLW’s first commissioner – Dawn.] Dawn: Heidi! [Heidi looks up. And smiles.] Heidi: Oh. My. GOD. I am SO glad to see you. How on Earth did you manage to run this… place? Without going insane? [Dawn laughs. She’s looking good. Back about a year ago, Jeffy Andrew (while disguised as Ultra Raptor) double stomped her on the midsection, breaking some ribs and causing internal injuries. Heidi, feeling partially responsible, agreed to take over the Commissioner job for Dawn. Right now she’s looking much more like her old self – by old self, meaning during her LBWF and early IWA days, when her entire mind wasn’t consumed by schemes and webs.] Dawn: I took breaks, Heidi. You’ve going to work your hair gray at this rate. Besides, you know how they say – all work and no play makes Jane a dull girl? Heidi: Yeah? Well all work and no play makes Heidi feel murderous intentions. Intentions that I can’t act on because I can’t go around ATTACKING my own talent. [She punctuates this with a vicious stab to the document she’s working on. The pen snaps in half.] Heidi: At least this is my last day on this job. Then I can get back in the ring and… hey, Dawn? Dawn: Yeah? Heidi: Do you know anything about the new commissioner? Dawn: Not as such, no. Heidi: Oh. Because I haven’t heard anything from Kai, and I was wondering if he told you instead. [Dawn’s eyes flicker as Kai Scott’s name is mentioned. The OLW President is also her ex-boyfriend.] Dawn: I don’t speak to him. Heidi [with a shrug]: Knowing Kai, he’s probably hoping we’ll phone him and ask, so that he can jerk us around. It probably doesn’t matter anyway though. Can’t be worse than Angelina Bishop, right? And OLW survived that no problem. [Dawn smiles. It doesn’t look genuine, though. Kai worries her. She sits down in a chair and crosses her legs.] Heidi: How’s my brother? Dawn: Your brother? Oh, you mean Cole. Well, he phoned me about, oh, five minutes ago, said he was caught in traffic. But he’s going to be here tonight.] RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! [Both girls look up as out in the stadium, the fans erupt.] Dawn: Everything else is set for Line One, then? [Heidi nods.] [And then, there’s a scuffling sound outside the door.] Heidi [sighing]: It never ends. Dawn, you want to go see what that’s all about? [Dawn stands gracefully, and swings the door open… to reveal Yaz Illika.] [Illika cuts a striking, and intimidating figure. Standing about 6 ft 3, he’s slender for his height, probably weighing in at no more than 210 lbs. His long black hair falls to below his shoulders, his mouth curving in a Tyrannosaurus smile beneath his black and red mask, with a Rising Sun on the forehead. His baggy gi pants have a red lattice pattern going up the outsides of the legs, his black vest with the red chest protector and shoulderpads hangs loose on his frame.] [And most disturbingly at all, he’s holding a sai. Playing with it, spinning it in one hand as he watches the two ladies.] Heidi: …Yaz? What are you doing here? Are you here with Raptor? [Yaz’s smile seems to grow even broader as he looks at the girls.] Illika: …You American ladies have so much more vibrancy and vitality than the ladies in my homeland. It just makes me think – if I were to take your legs… [He points to Heidi insolently, with the hand that isn’t holding the sai.] Illika: …and your torso… [Illika gestures at Dawn, accompanying the gesture with an undisguised leer. Dawn steps back and crosses her arms over her chest.] Illika: …and Gemma Lockhart’s face… I think that would be the ideal female wrestler. Don’t you? [If you know anything of the Heidi/Gemma feud, you also know that the reason Yaz is still alive is because he has a sai in his hands.] [Dawn, her arms still crossed, glares at Illika with a mixture of anger and disgust. Yaz looks at her briefly.] Illika: …how rude of me. I forget that such things aren’t appropriate for public discussion here in America. Pray forgive me. [Illika bows.] Heidi: You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here. [Yaz’s Tyrannosaurus grin drops instantly, and he looks up at Heidi somber.] Illika: Watching. [Turning his back on the girls, Yaz walks down the hallway, the backstage workers giving him and his sai a wide birth.] Heidi: Dawn? Dawn: Yes? Heidi: Do you ever get the feeling like you’re missing something? [We fade here.] [Backstage. A door labeled MEN swings open... and a dirty-looking hand is scratching under the brim of a dirty-looking toque in confusion.] TJ Killingbeck [to himself, as he looks down at a toilet bowl]: I don't remember having corn recently... RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [The CAL World chamion turns towards the camera, shrugging off any explanation for the mess he's left behind as he exits the bathroom. Killingbeck has his shining new title strapped securely around the waist of his cut-off camouflage pants, and he tugs on the tufts of hair at the end of his chin thoughtfully as he looks left and right down the corridor. Scratching his chest through his Velvet Revolver tee, TJ peers this way and that from under the brim of his black knit cap. Apparently seeing no one in either direction, TJ moves right..] Killingbeck [startled]: LEAPIN' LASIEWICZ....! How the hell do you do that? [A small amount of cheers go up for the CAL Secretary of Operations, "Dr. Clean" Bob Masters. The fatherly Masters smiles at Killingbeck, clad in a conservative tan sports coat and holding a microphone. Rather than answering TJ's question, he simply places his hand on his shoulder and looks to the camera.] "Dr. Clean" Bob Masters [to the camera]: I'm backstage here with new Coalition of Affiliated Leagues World champion TJ Killingbeck, who faces Jeffy Andrews in a title rematch later tonight within the confines of a "Hell In A Cell". TJ, when you get in that cage on occasions like these, do you -- Killingbeck [interrupting]: Hanging around the men's room, Masters? Still looking for love in all the wrong places? Masters [smiling]: ... yes, well. TJ, when that covered cage comes down, do you find that -- Killingbeck: Finally kicked you out of that 'sailor-wanna-hump-hump' bar downtown, did they? Masters [chuckling]: TJ, talk to me about the match tonight, will you? Jeffy Andrews is a dangerous -- Killingbeck: Because you're not without some personal charm, Masters, and I always thought you could do a little better for yourself than the sorts who hang out in these places. [TJ leans in conspiratorially.] By the way, if you see Andrews looking for the crapper later, tell him to look for the sign reading "MEN"... and that he should pay it no heed and just go right on in. - Anyways, where were we? Oh, right... you were whoring yourself around the bathroom door again. Listen, Bob... I'm just not interested. I live in Las Vegas now, and Roberto Mastrantonio just isn't quite up to snuff with Vegas tail. [Killingbeck looks into the camera, clutching Bob's microphone hand a moment to steady it.] Killingbeck: On a side note, if Georgia Monroe of PCW is watching, she might be interested in knowing that the CAL World champion keeps the key to his front door at 1649 Alwin Circle under a small brown rock in his front garden. It's the one with the wee chippy in it. It's a little hard to find, but I think she'll find that the search is well worth it, once she sees the pleasure missile that's currently set on 'cruise' in my pants -- Masters [surging onwards]: ANYWAYS... TJ, you're in a "Hell In A Cell" with Jeffy Andrews tonight. Jeffy's a dangerous and intelligent opponent - what's the game plan? Killingbeck [almost salivating]: Muahahahahaha.... Masters, if Jeffy Andrews gets inside the cell, then Jeffy Andrews is neither dangerous nor intelligent. What he becomes is stupid. It's not his fault - there's no vaccine for it, you know - but the moment he accepted my "Hell In A Cell" challenge, I knew that you could use this guy as a blueprint if you were building a moron. This is my match, and he's shown his lack of wisdom just by stepping in there. I'll give him some credit - he's got stones for "Hell In A Cell"-ing it with the "Cray-Zee From Ayy-Zee" - but if you stand too close to Jeffy, I'm betting you'll hear the ocean. Masters: Pretty sure Jeffy Andrews doesn't have that point of view, Teej. Killingbeck [shrugging]: Well I'd like to see Jeffy's point of view sometimes, Masters, but unfortunately I can't seem to get my head that far up Kurt Richards' ass. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Masters [studying Killingbeck closely]: You seem pretty jazzed up tonight, TJ. I haven't heard you call yourself "The Cray-Zee From Ayy-Zee" in some time. Killingbeck: 'Jazzed? I'm full-on jacked tonight, Bobbo. I'm all about hardcore, and tonight, hardcore's all about me. You're lookin' at a man going back to his pain-inflicting roots, Masters, and who better to be my first victim than the guy who led the other, not-quite-as-good 'Untouchables'? Muahahahaha. I'm the "Arizona Sun Devil", I'm the "AZ-S.O.B.", I'm the "Last of the Untouchables" -- I'm every stupid moniker that Keith Edwards hasn't stolen for himself yet. And I'm not coming to wrestle tonight... I'm coming to beat the shit out of Jeffy Andrews. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [TJ steps up to the camera, hisweather-beaten features filling the screen.] Killingbeck: And Jeffy - a little tip for you, for after the show. Next time... [TJ doesn't say it himself; he lets the crowd say it.] Crowd [in the arena]: ... BRING KRYPTONITE!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [Smiling slowly, he turns away from the camera, stalking off. Masters watches him go before looking back to the camera.] Masters: The CAL World champion, ladies and gentlemen! |