 |
SKEEEEEEEEEEEEVVEEEEE-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!! BOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!! BOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!! BARATATATATATA-BOOOOOOOM!! BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!! [Up we fade.] [The camera zooms around the 1st Mariner Arena. The wrestling ring in the middle, with a ramp extending from the arena walls to the ring, level with the apron. Pyros exploding all over the top of the ramp. The commentator desk at ringside. The fans. The signs.] AVARICE: HIS REIGN SHALL BE BLOODY HEIDI/GEMMA 3 – FOR THE WIN PHIL McCRACKEN PUT MY ASS IN THIS SEAT MARRY ME LESLIE! JEFFY ANDREWS IS A LAMOID EMO DOUCHEBAG FUCK YOU, JACK CROSS… FUCK YOU! THE STONE & STEEL SYNDICATE IS DUE WHERE’S MY DAMN CODE RED? THE CAL LIVES ON IN OH! EL! DUBYA! [The camera focuses in on the last sign, situated right behind the announce table. At the table itself are OLW’s ever present and most beloved voices – Cito Conarri, Leslie Stanton and Steven Styles. Conarri, as per the usual, wears an OLW T-shirt and ties his long black hair back with a bandana. Leslie, the sexy sex-kitty of the announce trio, wears some kind of clingy red dress. Her hair done up, and a bit of glitter on her bare shoulders, she waves her fingers at the camera. And the unmistakable frame of “The Incomparable” Steven Styles, in his ever present Washington Bullets basketball jersey, pork pie hat, disposable shades and hella bling.] Cito Conarri: Fans, at long last, welcome to OWL Line Two! I’m your host, Cito Conarri on play by play, along with Leslie Stanton on color and Steven Styles on technical! The 1st Mariner arena, if you would believe it, is SOLD OUT at over 16,000 in attendance… this is a record crowd for OLW! Leslie Stanton: Well Ceet, you’ve got to assume that it has something to do with the fact that we’ve put together one of the biggest cards a single fed has ever seen! All the titles are on the line tonight, and let’s start with the biggest one. The OLW Title, currently in the hands of Daemon Curtis. The challenger, Avarice. Steven Styles: Well AH’LL BE DAAAAAAAMMMMNNNEEEDDD, Les, Cito! Avarice and Curtis, man, they’ve exchanged blows, they’ve exchanged blood, they’ve been at each other’s throats ever since Curtis became the inaugural champ back at Line One, and this shit’s going to explode! Conarri: Talk about explosive – we’ve got another big match here, and it’s The Stone & Steel Syndicate, and their old enemies Minority Uprising, taking on the champions, NGN! The Syndicate and MU, our internet fans in attendance and watching at home are likely aware of their extensive history together in Japan, and others will remember what they’ve done right here in OLW, including the inconclusive match between them and the at-the-time OLW Tag and CAL World Tag Champions, Kid Xtreme and Crosslatch. The Syndicate and MU have solved nothing between them, but they also have to contend with the always-impressive NGN. Styles: Indeed. But hey, there’s more than just that. We’ve got three matches of immense historical value, and all highly anticipated rematches! Stanton: First we’ve got Keith Edwards taking on Jack Cross. Edwards and Cross, back in the CAL’s younger days, were in direct competition with each other as the top draws for KWF, before that federation’s incompetent management pushed them aside. Since then, they’ve gone opposite ways, Cross through IWA and Edwards through NPW – in my opinion, the two CAL promotions that were so far ahead of the others that they could only compete with each other. But now, they’re under one roof again, and it should be explosive. Cross has never beaten Edwards, he’s been win starved and he’s been winning lately, can he keep his streak alive? Or will Edwards get the win in his OLW Debut? Styles: Another one we’ve got is Jeffy Andrews and Freddy Phoenix. Now I know these guys back to LBWF, before IWA, before OLW, you know. Andrews and I were stablemates for a little while in an LBWF stable called the Capitalist Corporation Conspiracy. He and Phoenix fought over the IWA Heavyweight Title, Phoenix getting the win over Andrews, who was wrestling with 4 broken ribs at the time. Those two have never seen eye to eye, and they just plain don’t like each other. And as for the last match… Cito dude, I’m gonna leave that one to you, because I don’t like it when Stern Shamrock tells me I’m not funny, and lord knows he would if I called it. Conarri: Right you are, Styles. The last match is Heidi and Gemma Lockhart. It’s the sixth match of Heidi’s trial series, but the trial series, and just about everything else Heidi’s been doing, takes a back seat to this. There are not enough words to describe the intensity with which those two ladies hate each other. They’re so similar – they use similar wrestling styles and they’re both martial artists by trade – but they’re also complete opposites of each other. And there’s been enough between them. Let us not forget, the last time they were in the ring together, Gemma hit Heidi in the head with the CAL World Title. And Gemma, and her tag partners Daeriq Damien and Brad Andrews, are playing some sort of mind game with her, but I think they’ve all forgotten that. Heidi and Gemma hate each other, and want nothing more than to rip each other to shreds. Stanton: We’ve got a lot more than all that on the card. We’ve got the anticipated grudge match between Flare, Loki and Top Dollar! We’ve also got Danny Vicious taking on a mystery man. And speaking of Gemma Lockhart, a tag team called “Gemma’s Angels”, that being Damien, BA and Kaos, takes on a contingent of The Unforgiven II consisting of Paco Losantio, Yoshikazu YAZ and the completely unknown Jeremy Winters! Styles: I was impressed with Winters, for real. We’ve also got the Mid Atlantic Title defense. It was advertised as a triple threat match between Tommy Shanahan, Phil McCracken and defending champion Big D, but Shanahan was called out of state to deal with some legal business and he will not be here tonight. So the match will be a straight up singles match between McCracken and Big D. Conarri: And of course, we have our first match. The Confederate Stars of America, after a great start, slacked off enough that they were put into a match against OLW’s Talent Enhancement squad. Not to be confused with jobbers – these guys are not the likes of Barnala, Galahad, Mike Strong and Manny Bigs, Mr. Elbow V or whoever. SURGE, Black Wonder and Zorro can all go… and I think they’re on their way out! Over to you, Tracie! The Confederate Stars of America [Tracie Ferraro, OLW's ring announcer, is every bit the knockout Leslie Stanton is, albeit in a different way. Her physique is more athletic than sultry. Today, she wears tight black slacks and a red blouse, open down the front to reveal an amount of cleavage that resides right in the grey area between 'adequate' and 'distasteful'.] Tracie Ferraro: Ladies and gentlemen, the following trios tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! First, entering the ring area, at a total combined weight of 687 pounds…here are ZORRO, SURGE "the Rush," and the Black WONNNNNNNNDER!! [The fans get on their feet as the Black Wonder's "A Cross for Cain" by the Hellacopters begins to play.] # Out of key with my time # [All three fan favourites make their way out, high-fiving the fans at ringside; the fans are particularly behind the Black Wonder as all three youngsters slide into the ring and each man mounts a respective turnbuckle.] # You know I always hit rock bottom # RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Conarri: Fans solidly behind these three energetic guys! Styles: They'll have their hands full tonight against the Confederate Stars of America…even if Fisk and Otis want to kill each other. # Kicked out of the promised land # Stanton: CSA just needs to put their crap aside and they should be able to take these three guys to school; I'd be surprised if they're not here skipping class just so they could wrestle this match. # You know I always hit rock bottom # Ferraro: And their opponents… BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ferraro: At a total combined weight of 771 pounds…Otis Biggs, Remington Fisk, and Emmett Biggs…the CONFEDERATE STARS OF AMERICA, the CSA!! # Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord; # [The Battle Hymn of the Republic begins to play, signaling the entrance of the Confederate Stars of America... only there is only one star, Remington Fisk. Fisk walks to the ring, looking behind and all about. He has a air of nervousness, perhaps apprehension, that is of stark contrast to the usual calm, focused look of determination.] # I have read a fiery Gospel writ in burnished rows of steel; # [Stopping at the top of the entrance area, fans reach over the guard rails in a vain attempt to touch Fisk on his way to the ring, when he stops. Many fans boo in his general direction, but he looks back over his shoulder at the empty entrance, then into the ring where his three opponents stand.] Conarri: Conspicuous by their absence, neither of the Biggs brothers seems to be here. They certainly aren't walking the aisle with Fisk here tonight, folks! Styles: And remember that ultimatum! If they don't show, they will be fired! Conarri: We haven't heard from them in several weeks, so their careers are dangling by a precarious thread here tonight. # He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat; # [Fisk's waiting has been for naught, as it is apparent that neither of his partners are there. His three opponents, have been put at ease as they watch the sole man pace towards the ring, adjusting his wrist tape on each wrist before climbing up onto the apron.] # Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! # ... [BZZZZZZZTT!!!!!!] ..... Styles: What happened to the music? # Under the lights where we stand tall # Styles: Good God, what is that reek? Conarri, can you smell that? Conarri: The song of Emmett Biggs playing here folks, but we don't see him. Styles: Aren't you listening to me? What is that stink? [Emmett Biggs finally he appears out of the back, he's forgone wrestling attire tonight, his body is covered in a filthy grime, and there are stains of mud, and the remnants of twigs in his fiery red hair. Emmett sniffs his underarms with a face denoting a horrid stench as he follows it up by pulling the bandana from his neck, and tossing it into the crowd. Charging to the ring, he's on fire with total reckless energy. Climbing the ropes, he gives the "Rock On" hand sign, and moonsaults into the ring.] # You see us comin' # [BZZZZZTT!!] Styles: What? Not again! # Big wheels keep on turning # [Lynard Skynard blares the opening to Otis Biggs entrance theme, and all the participants in the ring turn toward the entrance way. Fisk is watching intently, while Emmett seems completely in shock that Otis decided to even appear!] Conarri: LOOK OUT! [From the audience, the sweating, stinking frame of Otis Biggs barrels through the crowd, pushing and shoving his way over the rows of chairs! All eyes are turned toward the curtain when the bare chested, ornery Biggs clobbers SURGE & Zorro with a devastating double clothesline to the back of their heads! The Black Wonder & the two CSA turn around, only to have Otis Biggs hoist him upside down, Emmett & Fisk grab a leg each, and crush him into the mat! ] Styles: REBEL'S SPIKE!! Conarri: That absolutely devastating inverted spike piledriver!! That has got to be it! [The bell has not even rung as Otis lazily hooks the limp leg of the Black Wonder. Fisk tosses Zorro over the top on one side, and Emmett flicks SURGE over the other side. Otis looks around – but referee Charlie Strembatel won’t make the cover!] Stanton: What gives? [A focus on the ring shows Charlie screaming angrily at Otis about not waiting for the bell.] Conarri: Charlie won’t start the match because Otis attacked before the bell! SURGE and BW are back into the ring…! [SURGE and Zorro each dropkick a knee, causing Otis to go face first into the mat. They immediately turn to the others, SURGE going into a tie-up with Fisk and forcing him across the ring, while Zorro begins wailing on Emmett.] Conarri: These three men, the CSA, have been in a major slouch recently and I'm sure Zorro, Wonder and Surge will put them to the test. Styles: I won't deny their slump - you meant SLUMP, not slouch moron - but I'm sure these three guys can work together and kick these guys' asses and go home. DING DING DING! [As Zorro and Surge attack Emmett and Fisk respectively, Otis picks himself up off the mat. He grabs Zorro and throws him over the ropes to the outside of the ring. Emmett follows Zorro out, throwing him into the steps, while Otis begins to stomp on the still out-of-it BW. In the other corner, Fisk manages to stop Surge’s rush with an eye rake, and then stomps him into the corner. Inside the ring, Otis and Remington work over Surge and the Black Wonder in individual corners, peppering them with chops and boots. Otis and Remington look over at each other and signal for a double Irish whip. They hurl Surge and the Wonder towards each other, but both rookies reverse it, sending Otis and Remington crashing into each other.] Conarri: Haven't seen THAT done in a while, and it backfired. Styles: Who'd have guessed. [To nobody's surprise, when Otis and Remington recover, they start to argue, and end up in a shoving match, which is quickly broken up by the referee, as he orders one man in from each team to get in the ring and keep it as such. Surge and Wonder however have other ideas as they deliver double dropkicks, sending both men outside the ring near Emmett who is still laying into Zorro. The CSA groups together and some more harsh words are exchanged between Fisk and Otis, as Emmett tries to shut them up and get back to the ring. Zorro has already done so as the Black Wonder stands with his hands on his legs, awaiting the first member of CSA to step into the ring.] Conarri: CSA doesn't seem to be operating all too smoothly at this rate. Styles: Give 'em a little time. Stanton: Wake me up when it's over. Conarri [miffed]: Give them all some more credit these guys are some of the best wrestlers in the world; otherwise they'd not be in OLW. [Otis gives the Black Wonder the honour as the two lock in a collar-elbow tie up, only to have Otis throw off his smaller foe with a mighty shove. Otis charges in to attack the Wonder, but his attack is dodged and he is nailed with three stiff rights, which are beautifully followed up by a dropkick. Otis gets back to his feet and is tossed with a hip toss, and then a boot to the stomach as Otis gets to his feet again. An Irish whip in lands another kick to Otis' stomach, and finished off with a swinging DDT.] Conarri: Wonderful series of moves and the fans are loving every minute of it! Styles: The fans are biased idiots. Stanton: No wonder they always booed you. [The Black Wonder pumps his arms in the air, incredibly pleased with himself and dives on Otis for a pin, which gets him two, only for it to be broken up by Emmett and Remington, much to the ire of the fans. Remington and Emmett then run over and hit Zorro and Surge with cheap shots, which draws them into the ring. The referee runs over to send Zorro and Surge out who protest vehemently against CSA's dirty tactics. This in the meantime gives all three members of CSA a chance to really work over the Black Wonder, as they dismantle him with vicious punches and kicks. The referee finally notices and clears the other two CSA members out. Otis gives a dirty look to Fisk as he tags out to Emmett, who grabs hold of the Black Wonder by the hair, and hurls him into the ropes. Emmett attempts a clothesline which misses, but is knocked silly with a reach around jawbreaker!] Conarri: The Black Wonder really needs to tag out, and fast! Styles: If he doesn't it won't take long for Emmett to get back on his feet. [The Black Wonder crawls as quickly as he can to make a tag to Surge, which he gets. The fans cheer loudly as Surge comes in full of pep, and blocks a punch attempt by Emmett. Surge spins around Emmett and cinches in a German suplex, which connects. Surge tags in Zorro and the two men are in, as they pick up Emmett and throw him to the ropes, getting a double backdrop. Zorro in for the pin, but only gets a two.] Conarri: You need to damage a man a lot more than that before getting a pin. [Zorro hits the man in frustration and is poked in the eye for his troubles. Dazed, Emmett throws himself off the ropes and manages to pull off a flying headscissors. Annoyed, Emmett shakes his head to help recover from his earlier beating and lays into Zorro with reverse knife edge chops, and then hits a release Northern lights suplex. Emmett tags in Fisk who lurches over and picks up Zorro and delivers crushing knees to the midsection, and then a back suplex.] Styles: The rookies are now showing their weaknesses. Stanton: It seems that once they're hit, they take forever to recover. Conarri: I'm glad you're paying attention. Stanton: Just a little, Ceet. [Fisk over for the tag to Emmett once again. The referee begins his five count as the two men stun Zorro with double boots, and then with each man taking a side, they execute a double Russian leg sweep. Zorro his the back of his head hard. Emmett gestures down to the fallen Zorro as the fans boo mercilessly. On the outside Surge and the Black Wonder encourage their partner on - which really doesn't help too much.] Conarri: Zorro now in a pit of eternal peril. Styles: He needs to cross this bridge of death, or else. Stanton: If they hit him much harder, he'll not be able to answer a simple question like, "What is your favourite colour?" [Emmett shows his boredom with the match as he calls out Otis and Fisk to come into the ring. Both men charge in as the referee looks on in shock. This of course drags in the Black Wonder and Surge, as both teams now pound away on each other. The fans cheer loudly, but Otis and Fisk take control of both Surge and the Black Wonder, and toss both of them outside of the ring. Left helpless, Zorro is picked up by Otis and with a leg each, Fisk and Emmett spike piledrive Zorro hard into the mat and into oblivion.] Conarri: THERE it is the REBEL'S SPIKE! Styles: Au revoir gentlemen. Stanton: Thank God. [Otis casually pins Zorro as the fans shower boos and as Surge and the Black Wonder are cut off from making the save by Fisk and Emmett. The referee counts one, two, three. ] DING DING DING! Ferraro: The winners of this bout: THE CONFEDERATE STARS OF AMERICA - the CSA! Conarri: Just like that, it is over. I don't know about impressive, but certain a decisive victory for the CSA. Styles: But look at Otis! Otis had grabbed his younger half brother Emmett by the hair, and is dragging him to the outside. He tosses him over the guard rail, sending him flying into the crowd! Otis follows him, grabbing a handful of hair again, leading him up, up, up into the higher sections of the arena, as Fisk is left standing in the ring. Alone again, he calls for the microphone. Fisk: BIGGS, we're here in Baltimore. YEAH!!!!! Fisk: (pointing to a front row fan) Hey, shut your mouth before I come out there and slap the taste buds off your tongue! BBBBBOOOOOO!!! Fisk: Biggs, I looked all over this ungodly city for two weeks, and you are nowhere to be found, but you think you can just show up, work this match, and we're alright? No way, you bastard! You still hate me, and since you just about got me fired, I may as well be honest and say I hate you too, but this isn't over Otis Biggs! One way or another, by hook or by crook I'll find you, chase you down, and if I have to snatch you by your unkempt hair, and drag you by the roots to this building, you will be part of the CSA, next week, the week after, in three weeks or three months we will be CSA, because I will make it happen. Remington Fisk... Otis & Emmett Biggs... we are the Confederate Stars of America! BBBBBOOOOOO!!! Fisk: We are the future of trios tag team wrestling. BBBBBOOOOOO!!! Fisk: And it ought to start sooner than later!! I looked in every hotel, motel, trailer park, park bench, and dark alley in this city and all I saw people like I see here tonight; hobos, buskers, panhandlers, prostitutes, and scum of every imaginable sort, shape, and color! BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Fisk: Now that I've finally found you, there is no way you're getting away!! I'll chase you to the end of the earth! You can't hide forever, Biggs, sooner rather than later you will have to face me, and next time... NEXT TIME YOU WON'T GET AWAY! RRRRAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!! [The fans let up a roar of excitement as Fisk quickly climbs out of the ring, hops the guard rail and begins his own ascend, taking the same path as Otis, into the upper area of the arena. Fisk disappears into the sea of humanity at the PPV, as the segment comes to his close.] Conarri: Ladies and Gentleman, we have footage from earlier tonight. Big D arrived to the 1st Mariner Arena with Impact, but I have to tell you, he was not his usual self. [As Cito finishes, footage is shown of a red Dodge Durango pulling up to the 1st Mariner Arena. A scatter of boos is heard throughout the arena, as they are aware of who just pulled up. Impact gets out of the jeep with the Mid-Atlantic Title in his hand. He walks to the back of the car and opens the door and out comes Big D. A huge chorus of boos is heard as fans are watching on the big screen. Big D is not wearing one of his trademarked suits, he is not wearing a custom made watch, nor is he wearing his Armani sunglasses. Instead, he is wearing a pair of blue jeans and a Scarface t-shirt. As he head towards the arena, Eckelbury stops him]. Eckelbury: Big D, we have heard the rumors for the past week or so about trouble in your household. Can you elaborate? Big D: Can I? Yes. Will I? No. Now if you will excuse me, I have a match to win. [The crowd boos as they wanted to find out what has been bugging D for the past week, but to no avail. Eckelbury looks on in disappointment]. Conarri: Well, it looks like Big D doesn’t want to talk about. Will it affect him in his match tonight? Styles: I doubt it. Big D is a pro; he’s a hall of fame wrestler, and one of the best we’ve ever seen. He and the Unforgiven II will be victorious tonight! Conarri: I see you have earned the paycheck the Unforgiven II gave you eh? Styles: What are you talking about? Conarri: Never mind.
|