Gemma's Angels
(Brad Andrews/Daeriq Damien/Kaos)
vs
The Unforgiven II
(Jeremy Winters/Paco Losantio/Yoshikazu YAZ)

# We’re spinning round on this ball of hate #
# There’s no parole, there’s no great escape #
# We’re sentenced here until the end of days #
# And then my brother, there’s a price to pay #

[The song is “Brutal Planet” by Alice Cooper. It was chosen by Brad Andrews, because he is of the entirely correct and irrefutable opinion that Alice Cooper kicks complete and ultimate ass.]

Ferraro: The following contest is set for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit, and it is a trios tag team match! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 834 lbs! From Parts Unknown, weighing in at 320 lbs… KAOS! From Michigan City, Indiana, weighing in at 261 lbs… DAERIQ! DAMIEN! And from Baltimore, Maryland, weighing in at 253 lbs… BRAD! ANDREWS! They are GEMMAS… ANGELS!

# We’re only young and we were born to die #
# Without the benefit of reason why #
# We live for pleasure, to be satisfied #
# And now it’s over, there’s no place to hide #

[Two men step out onto the ramp. Kaos looking angry, and Daeriq Damien, looking disinterested. As they stop, Brad Andrews pushes in between them, raises the Yield Sign of Doom into the air and begins headbanging, throwing his mane of died hair around and causing his tag partners to have to move back to avoid being hit with the yield sign.]

# We took advice from that deceiving snake #
# He said “don’t worry, it’s a piece of cake” #
# And sent us swimming in a burning lake #
# Now we’re abandoned here for Heaven’s sake #

Conarri: The team of Gemma’s Angels making its way out to the ring now. Kaos, Brad Andrews and Daeriq Damien, of course, are all potential suitors for Gemma Lockhart, although right now Damien is clearly in the front running for that.

Stanton: She and Kaos broke up years ago in the IWA, and she hates Brad Andrews because he is a creepy psycho stalker.

Styles: Gemma’s not out here, because she’s getting ready for her match with Heidi.

# Why don’t you #
# Come down too? #
# It’s such a brutal planet, it’s such an ugly world #
# Why won’t you #
# Come down too? #

# This world is such perfection (what a sight) #
# It’s just like paradise (for my eyes) #
# A truly grand creation (what a sight) #
# From up here it looks so nice (for my eyes) #

Conarri: Gemma’s Angels may be at a significant disadvantage here – it’s my understanding that there’s been no communication between the three men on it.

[BA is already in the ring, spinning around, headbanging and waving his yield sign in the air. The fans are cheering him on. Kaos scowls, Damien merely looks amused.]

# Here’s where we keep the armies #
# Here’s where we write their names #
# Here’s where the money got us #
# Here’s our famous hall of shame #
# Here’s where we starve the hungry #
# Here’s where we cheat the poor #
# Here’s where we beat the children #
# Here is where we pay the whores #

[The music cuts.]

Ferraro: And their opponents! Weighing in at a combined weight of 648 lbs! From Parts Unknown, weighing in at 225 lbs… JEREMY! WINTERS! From Durango, Mexico, weighing in at 210 lbs… PACO! LOSANTIO! And from Nagasaki, Japan, weighing in at 213 lbs… YOSHIKAZU… YAZ! They are THE UNFORGIVEN… TWOOOO!!!!

# Lay beside me #
# Tell me what they’ve done #
# Speak the words I wanna hear #
# To make my demons run #
# The door is locked now #
# But it’s open if you’re true #
# If you can understand the me #
# Then I can understand the you #

[In a stark contrast to their opponents, the TU2 tandem enters together. The previously unknown Winters enters in arctic color camouflage fatigues, black boots, and his mask, a white one with a scar over the right eye. Losantio, the only unmasked member of the tandem, in his green trunks and a new black leather jacket with fringes on the arms. He turns around to face away from the ring, showing an Incan condor on the back. And lastly Yoshikazu YAZ, in his ring robe and mask, carrying his garrote in his right hand. He drops to one knee, pulls the garrote tight and bites it, as Losantio next to him folds his hands in a praying position and Winters crosses his arms over his chest.]

# Lay beside me #
# Under wicked skies #
# Black of day, dark of night #
# We share this paralyze #
# The door cracks open #
# But there’s no light shining through #
# Black heart scarring darker still #
# But there’s no sun shining through #
# No there’s no sun shining through #
# No there’s no sun shining… #

Conarri: The Unforgiven II here, their biggest disadvantage is size. Winters, the biggest on their team, weighs a full 25 lbs less than Brad Andrews, the smallest on Gemma’s Angels. Losantio and YAZ are both even smaller.

Styles: What you’re going to see from TU2 is a LOT of strikes. Winters is, according to his bio information, a former street fighter, and both Losantio and YAZ incorporate martial arts into their move sets.

# What I’ve felt, what I’ve known #
# Turn the pages, turn the stone #
# Behind the door, should I open it for you? #
# Yeah, what I’ve felt, what I’ve known #
# Sick and tired, I stand alone #
# Could you be there, cos I’m the one who waits for you? #
# Or are you unforgiven, too? #

[Losantio hops the ropes to get into the ring, then throws off his leather jacket. YAZ slowly takes off his robes and hands them to a ringside employee. Winters steps into the ring without taunting or anything.]

Conarri: We’re ready to get started here, and it looks like it’s going to be Kaos against YAZ.

DING! DING! DING!

Conarri: Kaos shoots right for the neck of YAZ…

SSSSSSSSS

Conarri: And YAZ shoots the green mist into Kaos’ face!

THWAAACK!!!

Styles: SHOTEI!

[Kaos spins around and falls to his hands and knees. It’s too early in the match for the shotei to finish things, but it’s given YAZ a huge advantage to exploit. Repeated shin kicks to the face damage Kaos, and then a series of chops to the back of the head drop him to the mat. Not finished yet, YAZ stomps away at the back of the head, then switches over to soccer kicks. Finally stopping to catch his breath, he drops to one knee, throws his hands up and grins, sticking out his tongue, still green from the mist.]

BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!!

Conarri: Our OLW fans here showing their patriotism by chanting USA at the Japanese native, Yoshikazu YAZ.

[YAZ flips off the crowd, kicks Kaos in the face and tags out to Paco Losantio. Kaos is just climbing to his knees as Losantio double stomps him on the back, and directly from the stomp does a standing moonsault! Kaos collapses.]

Styles: Losantio may be able to do more damage more quickly than any other wrestler I’ve ever seen.

[Losantio waits on Kaos getting to his feet, and then savate kicks him in the jaw. Kaos stumbles into the corner. Losantio charges in, hops over the ropes kicking Kaos on the way, and then bounds to the top. The fans start to react as it looks like Losantio’s about to go for the Cloud Serpent, but Daeriq Damien pushes him off the top rope first. Losantio crotches himself on the ropes before falling into the ring, and Kaos makes the tag out to Brad Andrews.]

Stanton: This’ll be interesting to watch. BA’s as much a fighter as anyone on the TU2 team.

[BA runs over Losantio with a shoulder block. Pulling the man up, he sends him off the ropes. On the rebound, Losantio baseball slides under a clothesline attempt, and comes back to his feet with a spinning back kick. BA staggers, Losantio tries a roundhouse, which is ducked. BA forearms him upside the head twice, throws him to the ropes, powerslams him on the rebound. Tags out to Daeriq Damien.]

Conarri: In comes Damien.

[Damien lifts Losantio for a scoop slam, Losantio slides behind him and thrust kicks him in the small of the back, then the back of the head. Damien collapses to the mat as Losantio jumps to the middle rope and moonsaults, coming down across his back. Hurracanrana attempt by Losantio is countered, as Damien pushes his legs back so that Losantio lands standing on the mat. A big European uppercut stuns Losantio, and Damien hits a gut wrench suplex into a pin, getting barely a one. Damien pulls Losantio up for a stalling vertical suplex, Losantio slips off his back, mule kicks him low and delivers a neckbreaker. The fans boo as Losantio tags out to Winters – as Winters makes the tag in, Damien lurches across the ring in desperation and makes the tag out to BA.]

Styles: Wow, Winters laid such a smacktalk beating on Damien last week that Damien’s skurred!

[BA and Winters meet in mid ring. BA throws a hard punch, Winters takes it well, and returns it, knocking BA a half step back. The fans make noise indicating their surprise. BA shakes his head, figures that it was a fluke, and socks Winters again – who again, takes the shot and returns it. Now pissed, BA boots Winters, Winters boots him back, BA throws an elbow, Winters responds, BA throws a wild, sloppy lariat that Winters easily ducks, and then catches him as he spins back around with a lung blower. BA writhes as Winters stands.]

Stanton: So far, The Unforgiven II have controlled the match.

[Winters applies a neck and arm lock to BA, then pulls him to his feet looking for the STO. But BA, who knows all about the STO, sees it coming. A knee lift stuns Winters, and then BA hooks him for a front suplex and throws him over the ropes and out of the ring. Losantio and YAZ both run to Winters’ aid as he hits the floor, and Damien and Kaos come over from their side of the ring as well.]

Conarri: This match has turned into an all out brawl!

[Kaos, his face still green, grabs YAZ and gorilla press slams him onto the barricade. Damien ducks a Losantio kick and back drops him on the ringside mats. BA throws Winters into the side of the ramp, and then pushes him onto it. Rolling into the ring, BA waits as Winters stands, and then dives over the ropes, tackling Winters into the ramp! Kaos throws YAZ into the stands and follows him as Damien throws Losantio into the ring. Too smart to give him time to recover, Damien elbows Losantio on the apron. Kaos is throwing YAZ around the crowd, while BA and Winters are fighting on the ramp, Winters’ superior training and BA’s 6th sense in out-of-the-ring mayhem putting them on pretty much even footing.]

Stanton: Damien has a chance to do some damage to Losantio here.

[Damien plants Losantio in a back breaker. He then pulls him up and puts him in an Argentine backbreaker, before sitting out. Now he pulls Losantio up, applies the full nelson. Losantio stomps on his foot, tries an Irish whip – and Damien reverses, at the same time that on the ramp, BA whips Winters towards the ring! Winters and Losantio collide, Losantio bounces into a urinachi suplex from Damien while Winters gets hit with a spinebuster on the ramp! In the crowd, YAZ has managed to jab Kaos in the neck with a chair, and now yakuza kicks him in the face. Damien covers Losantio!]

 

ONE…!

 

…TWO…!

 

……Kickout!

Conarri: It’s going to take more than that to put the former EAWC champion away.

[Damien calls for the PlexDriver. Losantio slips out behind him, takes him to the mat with a leg takedown, and drives his head into the mat with the Nazca Plane. Losantio goes for the cover, but BA is in immediately to break it up. He has turned his back on Winters, however, and Winters hits him in the back of the head. Throwing BA into the corner, Winters hits the Ole kick that he calls “Welcome to Boot Camp, Motherfucker”. BA rolls out of the ring to land at Kaos’ feet. Even though they’re on the same side, Kaos smiles at the sight of BA with a foot print on his face. He throws YAZ into the ring.]

Styles: My sixth sense tells me this match isn’t going to last very much longer. Something’s going to happen.

[Recovered from the curbstomp he took, Damien clotheslines Losantio, knocking him out of the ring. Kaos hits Winters with a big choke slam, Winters rolls to the apron. Kaos grabs YAZ, and puts him in a fireman’s carry, setting up for Chaotic, when…]

CLAAAAAANNGGG!!!!

Styles: Told you!

Conarri: Brad Andrews just hit Kaos with the Yield Sign of Doom!

[BA plants the sign on the mat. Damien comes over and the two men both lift Kaos up in suplex position…]

Stanton: Double PlexDriver onto the sign! And… Brad Andrews and Daeriq Damien are leaving the ring!

[Kaos and the three members of The Unforgiven II are recovering at about the same speed, but Kaos is staring up the ramp. That’s why he doesn’t think to watch his opponents – until Losantio hits the ropes, and rebounds with La Raeta! Kaos spins around from the impact of the flying kick… right into a knuckle lash from YAZ! Kaos drops to one knee, Winters steps forward, and hits a punch that absolutely flattens him!]

Conarri: Jeremy Winters calls that move “Harsh Reality”. And he’s going for the cover!

ONE…!

 

…TWO…!

 

……THREE!!!

DING! DING! DING!

Conarri: After the betrayal of Damien and BA, and the strikes from Losantio and YAZ, I’m not surprised Winters was able to finish Kaos off like that.

Styles: That was one hell of a punch though, wasn’t it?

[The TU2 team walks up the ramp.]

Stanton: When Kaos comes to, there’s going to be hell to pay for Brad Andrews and Daeriq Damien.


# If you're blue and you don't know where to go to #
# Why don't you go where fashion sits... #
# Puttin' on the Ritz. #
# Different types who wear a day coat, pants with stripes, #
# And cutaway coat, perfect fits... #
# Puttin' on the Ritz. #

RRRAAAAAHHHBBBBBOOOOOOOO!!!!

[Without much in the way of special effects or even dancing, Top Dollar walks down the ramp towards the arena. Terrance walks beside him, carrying a briefcase. Sean O'Meara also walks down with them, his face all business.]

Conarri: Heading out to the arena a second time is Top Dollar, winner of the three-way grudge-match that saw Loki retire, and Flare... Deported.

Styles: 'Who cares, I'm rich?' I love that line! I think it should be his catch-phrase!

Stanton: ... How much is Top Dollar paying you to shill that?

Styles: Why, I am offended! Me, taking bribes just to try and push an already clever line said by such a clever individual?

Stanton: 'Clever?' Top Dollar? Plus, I can see the envelope sticking out of your pocket.

Styles: Uhh... that's just a note from Top wishing me a happy birthday!

Stanton: Your birthday was four months ago.

[Since Top isn't dancing, he is already inside the wrestling ring holding a microphone. Terrance has taken a clipboard and a strange device out from the briefcase, and is taking notes while inspecting the device. Sean simply paces around lightly]

Conarri: Anyways... Not sure what's going on here. I wonder what Terrance is doing?

RRAAAAAAAAHHHHBBBBBOOOOOOO!!!!

Stanton: He got Flare deported, and some people are cheering for him?

Styles: The man's got class! Even if he is a rich jackass, people love his style! Oh, sorry, I mean his 'Suavephistication!'

Stanton: How much did he pay you? Seriously!

Top Dollar [Into mike]: Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3...

[The crowd dies down]

Top Dollar: Thank you. This is a test. For the next several minutes, we will be conducting a test of the superstar heel standing determination system.

Conarri: The what?

[Terrance hands a piece of paper to Top Dollar]

McMillan [Very faint, as his voice is only being picked up by Top Dollar's microphone]: Antagonism level 1!

[Top Dollar reads the sheet for a second, then holds it to his side as he begins talking]

Top Dollar: Do you honestly believe I care what these peasants think? I'm not doing this for the fans!

BBOOO!

[Terrance looks at the device he's holding, then begins writing on the clipboard]

McMillan [Faintly]: Antagonism level 2!

[Top reads from the paper again before lowering it]

Top Dollar: I can do whatever I want, okay? These people don't deserve a man as great as I! And neither do any of the wannabees in the locker room! I am a king among serfs! Why, the world title isn't even good enough for a man of my prestige!

BBBBOOOOOO!!

Conarri: This is certainly... interesting...

Stanton: Gauging fan reaction? Scientifically?

Styles: Hey, what does Top Dollar care? He's rich!

Stanton: Will you shut up about that?

[Terrance makes a few more notes]

McMillan: Antagonism level 3!

Top Dollar [Reads paper, sets it down]: Why am I even in a backwater scum-sucking two-bit loser town like this? This is the armpit of America! These people don't have the collective intelligence to put their own pants on properly! And have they ever heard of a shower here? I could smell this town from twenty miles away coming in!

BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOORRAAHHH!!!
BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOORRAAHHH!!!

Conarri: Some light cheers show that Top Dollar is gaining in popularity here in OLW.

McMillan: Antagonism level 4!

[After reading the paper, Top Dollar doesn't say anything. Rather, he drops his mike, walks over to Sean O'Meara, and shoves him into the turnbuckle. Before Sean can recover from this, Top Dollar lays into him with several slaps and chops, before ending with a knee to the gut.]

BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Conarri: What? Did Sean actually agree to this?

Stanton: I'm not even sure anymore what's going on.

Styles: Not like Top Dollar cares if you do or not. He's rich!... OW!

Stanton: I said stop that.

McMillan: Antagonism level 5!

[O'Meara slowly pulls himself back up to his feet, while Top Dollar walks back to where he dropped the paper, picking it up and reading it again. A slight look of concern crosses his face. He drops it again, then heads to the ropes, slides out, and begins looking over the fans, as if trying to find somebody. Most boo and mock him.]

Conarri: Don't tell me he's...

[Top's eyes light up as he decides his target. He walks over to a young man wearing a baseball cap, shouting random curses at Top Dollar. Top Dollar looks him over for a moment, before grabbing him by the shirt collar and pulling him past the barricade. Top then hauls him up and tosses him into the arena.]

Stanton: I don't believe this! Is he...

[Top rolls back into the ring and stands up. The young man, somewhat confused, takes longer to get to his feet. But he doesn't make it, as just when he gets to his knees, Top Dollar kicks him squarely in the chest!]

BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

[Unconcerned, Top Dollar begins to kick and stomp on the poor fan, who vainly tries to crawl away.]

BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[Finally deciding he's had enough, Top Dollar walks back over to the microphone and picks it up. The young man painfully crawls away, while O'Meara shakes the cobwebs from his brain]

Top Dollar: Thank you all for your input. Once again, this was just a test of the superstar heel standing determination system.

BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Conarri: Test or not, these fans clearly don't appreciate people beating on unprepared fans!

Styles: Hey, look at that!

[Top Dollar walks back over to Sean O'Meara, and hands him an envelope. Sean takes it and nods knowingly, and can be seen saying 'Thanks.' Sean walks out of the arena... rather well, actually, considering he was beaten rather thoroughly a few moments ago. Sean walks out, opens the envelope, and pulls out a cheque. He smiles and nods quite happily.]

Stanton: He got paid to have the snot beat out of him?

Styles: Well, heck, he's been pounded on by wrestlers before! And Top Dollar was paying him for the privilege! I'd accept a fat paycheque to have somebody beat on me! Heck, If she was female, I'd be paying her!

Stanton: Please stop talking.

[Top helps the fan back up, and hands him a similar envelope. The 'fan' also nods knowingly before heading out of the arena, having rather quickly recovered from his 'injuries.' Top and Terrance pack up their things before starting to head out of the arena.]

Conarri: Well... That was certainly an... odd distraction...

Stanton: Top Dollar proving once again that money can buy anything.