Can't Slow Down


01. Deciding  
And it's not fair-why do I have to be so? 
Oh I feel everything much more- 
much more than you ever will 
and it's too hard when I can't even catch your eye 
so I can't send you messages 
and at night I dream of reasons that I can't let you go 
but I don't know if it's time to crack through your walls so thick that I can't see past you 
and last summer wasn't enough for me 
and now that winter comes the cold beats harder 
and no one is left alone and I'm offering you me right now- 
take me I'm yours 
and I won't have it any other way 
so don't let fools be carried by what I say because the night keeps looking our way 
and you're not seeing what I'm missing 'cause I am missing you 
and I think that we should run as fast as we can into what we don't know- 
it's time to let me in because I feel just fine. 
 


02. The Choke  
Don't leave yet 
it's still early and I haven't even said a word 
and I'm hoping that I might upset you by saying what I want to 
'cause it's not like you don't know I've fallen for you 
but it's in my head and that's where you can't see it 
and I thought that maybe if I had to bite the tips of my fingers I could stumble over words 
and tell you just how far before I hit the ground 
and I'm the type to think of all the wrong things to say 
and I will shut myself up and I'll never come out- 
I'll close all my doors and only show you the black spots where my eyes once were- 
I can say this- 
I can collect myself deep down and then come out punching 
and I'll scream out loud.

 

03. Handsome Boy  
I said, "that boy's handsome" 
and a little bit of me wanted to be beautiful- 
Carrie said, "It's hard to look in the mirror these days when everyone has everything you'd rather be." 
There's just something about his smile He looks so nice, 
I wish I had friends like that 
They'd always be there for me, I wouldn't look bad 
They wouldn't talk behind my back. 

 

04. Blindfolded  
So now I've made the decision 
to walk behind you in the dark for the rest of my life 
and I'll never show my face again 
because it's too scarred and bloody to be enough 
and I don't have the right stuff- 
all I have are the empty boxes to carry away your heart 
and I think that tonight I will sneak into your house and I'll sing songs and wake you up 
and I'll take you blindfolded dancing onto bridges 
and you'll say you don't to be with me 
'cause no one ever does and no one ever thinks of me that way 
but I will even drive you home if you never let me forget about you 
and if you promise me that I'm good enough for someone 'cause I've got to be good enough for you 
and someday soon I'll get it right 
and then you'll see just how good I can be 
so don't ask me about forever because right now I'm feeling lost 
but there's got to be some place for me because if there isn't where will I go? 
Will there be some place for me and will you be waiting there for me? 
If and when we get there please catch me before I crawl all the way home 
but I won't stop until you do. 

 

05. Collision 
Three years and now I feel like completeness has set in 
'cause it's something to keep time with time 
and I know it's not true that I can't keep on like this 
'cause I know I feel right and I don't think I miss a thing 
and I remember when I heard that song sing, 
"if the world doesn't understand then the world has to learn" 
and maybe that's true but not everyone has to- 
when ten million people all believe in the same thing how could they be wrong and what is sometimes? 
There's a weight on my head but I know I feel right. 

 

06. Three Miles Down 
Oh great 
here I go again I'm stuck in this rut 
and I'm not sure how to begin- should I tell you everything? 
I'm feeling out of luck so I won't see you soon 
'cause I know it's too soon for you to see me- 
if this is the last thing you do just tell me that it's o.k. for me to have these feelings for you 
and that it's normal to want to call you. 
Oh I'm dialing the phone and I'm letting it ring for hours and I'm pretending to hear your voice- 
Why does my heart always beat before yours does? 
After a while you can make yourself believe in almost anything, 
so I'm making myself believe in you. 
 


07. Always Ten Feet Tall 
So I said, "lets forget these days and just try to build some solid ground. 
Maybe someday we could stand straight up with our faces in the wind 
and scream to the world." 
We were at some boating dock oh somewhere at the waterfront staring out across the channel- 
a steamer blared its horn 
and I wished I could say everything right like do you want to go for a ride? 
I looked to your face and saw the sun reflecting off your skin and I breathed in water smells- 
the skyline filled with shipping yards and factories had me dreaming of waking up- 
am I dreaming? is this really me? because I've never felt so not lonely 
and if this could be real right now 
then everyday for the rest of my life I will search for moments full of you 
but let's hope tomorrow won't cave in 'cause I'm looking for someone to change me 
and you make me feel so tall- I always want to be this tall 
'cause maybe I'll be original 
and sometimes things you say just make me think in different ways so this is my way of saying 
I could be the one who's dragged home at night away from all my hopeless dreams- 
you and me will forge some future because we don't want to be waiting 
for something right to go wrong . 

 

08. Nebraska Bricks 
And I grew up 
on alcoholic evenings and slow jazz music to keep my heart beating 
because after all that happens in a dissolving family 
the need for a song to sing me to sleep still rings true 
and I always knew that there wasn't glue strong enough to sew these roots together 
and now that I've wasted too many years 
and I've lost track of where I started 
I have to dream at night of who I was and why after twenty years of marriage 
I am what is left and I'd like to go back now 
and make myself up because I'd be a brick so I wouldn't feel 
and I'd lift myself up and I'd throw myself at this house 
to break windows and smash walls 
just to keep time where it was and where it should be.

 

09. Seeing It This Way 
I never thought I could watch someone come apart from the insides to outsides 
but every day I see strings fall loose 
and every day I see hope lost- 
with all this complicated I can't even get pass the thought of thinking 
and wondering whether help or understanding rings truer 
and I don't know how to do anything anymore for you 
but I know that you should stop this world spinning right this minute 
and take a look from higher up 
and then you could realize just how broken your aim really is 
so why don't you ask yourself to show up sometimes? 
why don't you stand up tall and kick yourself in the mouth 
to remember and to get that burn back 
and scorch your stomach and bleed that passion lost
and don't forget what picked you up and don't forget to think this time. 

 

10. Hot Time In Delaware 
Ever think we should try to re-establish that connection that we made during last summer's days? 
Maybe I should be subtle or maybe I should be more pure 
but I think we should talk about what we were going through 
and I wonder what it would be like if we had 
kept up that aversion and maybe kept listing 
all the people that we hated 
but isn't it ironic how you still have ideals and I still have nothing? 
and now I'm hoping that you'll change so we can see straight some day. 

 

11. Houses & Billboards  
Remember that last Friday before we left for Mexico? 
we kissed and nothing seemed to matter like Billie Holiday might sing 
and it rained and everything was going to be just fine-
it was like music- 
and it makes me sad to know I had gotten into something that I could not deal with 
and I will sit in my room and sleep all day 
and think up dreams like I am the cutest kid in school or I could be crazy and sing about memories- 
hey I remember when I sat on those steps watching the moon 
chase the sky back until the world seemed like it would explode 
and I could picture going up with it 
it'd be just how I'd like to go and I'd sing. 

 

12. Obsolete 
Every day seems the same to me 
I sit around and think about how alone I feel 
then I wind up rather enjoying loneliness because it's the comfort of being sad- 
sometimes it feels so right 
and sometimes I'd like to be around no one for ten straight years 
but I know this feeling can't bring me places 
and I know I'm losing lots of ground 
but to keep up means to get up and why does it have to be 
the world keeps on changing while I just stay the same? 
I feel like being down doesn't mean enough to anyone anymore 
and I guess the world has made emotion obsolete 
and I don't think I feel the same 'cause after all 
who says what happy really means? 
Tonight I will redefine everything and tomorrow I will start in on my better days 
and so each their own definition of happiness 
but no one ever reaches it so I don't think I'll breathe that way 
but happiness is when there's nowhere left to go 
because in that state of mind there is no state of self 
so how was I supposed to know? 

 

13. Sometimes, New Jersey 
I called you up to see if maybe we could hang out 
and I told you I was nervous and feeling lonely 
but I bit my lip and you said yes 
and I thought of how beautiful the night would be 
and I thought maybe we could drive around talking about your town 
or we could just stay at home and I could win over acting cool just like real romance. 

 

14. Jodie 
Tonight I'll stay awake long enough to stop breathing 
and I wonder how long it will take before I pass out drunk off night skies 
and lying on hills with wet grass below and blue black above- 
I will carry all the weights tonight 
'cause I keep remembering the day that you said you might go crazy 
if you spent one more minute with me and I just don't know- 
is one more minute going to kill you now? 
Stop before I say too much- 
so now I've been alone and it's been going but tomorrow might not come 
if I don't let it so don't forget the mornings that we spent deep inside out heads 
staring at blank walls 'cause that's what counts 
and I don't know but I'm trying to let you go 
but I can't cut so well these strings I have around my neck 
and I'm trying to let you know that I'm doing this by myself- 
so don't forget we sent letters to ourselves without words 
and it was just to remember those days that we spent in our heads.