Then listen closely, well actually read carefully

Everyone who views your site, is worth two more visitors, period! (exclamation point technically.)

You say "But I friggen' hate pop ups! I won't do it from my site!" Okay, ya purist. Here's a good option too.

1. Join Traffic Multiplier. Every time someone views your page, you earn 66% of a visit. When they leave your front page, they see a polite and discreet ad, and that's it. Three of these gets you two return visitors from somewhere else. You can put this on as many pages as you want, but your viewers will only see ONE pop up each time they visit you. Trust me, it's not that irritating, and you can really boost your traffic

Want something subtle? Check out TrafficSwarm. When a user leaves, instead of seeing an ad, they see a directory with six choices. Every time one of these comes from your site, you earn one somewhere else. That's a one in six chance someone will come back. UNLESS you write the best ad, then it's much higher. This service is free as well and they give you 500 ads just for joining.

2. On the second page of your site you put the code for freehits2000. So when they leave your front page, they see an ad, when they leave your second page, they see an ad. This one earns you 50% return traffic. So if you get a viewer who looks at two pages of your site, you just earned 116% return traffic. So for doing pretty much nothing and not paying a cent, you just doubled your traffic.

3. On your third page put in LoadShark. This one gives you 20 free visitors just for signing up and you also get a 50% return.

4. Page four use ExitExchange(tm). Yet another 50% return. What I'm telling you is that if your mom goes and looks at your site and reads through page four, she will earn you 2.16 return visitors from somewhere else. That's over two people who have never heard of you, don't know you, and didn't know your site existed. How cool is that?

4 1/2. Enough is not enough for you. You want MORE. Okay man, go to this page and add all of it on to this stuff and your hits will rocket off the hook. No two ways about it.

4 3/4. I'm a sucker for a good deal, so one more can't hurt, right? 241hits gives you 100 free hits just for joining. They are a little more bossy than most, but that's hardly the point. 100 free is a 100 free, no?

69. It gets better. Let's chitty chat about the snowball affect. Not that nasty joke from Clerks, I mean once you have done all that, steal this page from me and put it somewhere in the "WEBMASTERS" page on your site. Why? Because you are going to be getting a lot of traffic. That traffic WILL view your site. Sooner or later someone will ask "How did I get here?". They can read this and know how you did it. When they sign up for these programs, you will get a traffic bonus, plus a percentage of their traffic forever. That means you built the snowball, packed it tight, and gave it a good hard shove down the hillside.