Jokes
Bill aur Monica ki kahani - A musical
It all began on a day when Clinton sat in the oval office and sang
"Yeh Bill na hota bechara, kadam na hote awara…"
at that moment, Lewinsky, who was passing by, heard it and responded
"Bill, Dhak dhak karne laga, mora jiyorra darne laga",
>>
>>And Bill, brimmimg with thrill, rushed and opened the door. >>
>>He gazed into her eyes like Bobby Deol in Kareeb and sang
>>"Chori Chori jab nazzare mili, chori chori jab Bill ne kaha, chori
>>mein bhi hai mazaa!"
>>
>>then he pulled her into his office and thought of Aamir Khan in
>>Ghulam
>>
>>"Aankhon se tune ye kya keh diya, Bill ye diwana machalne laga…"
>>Monica picked up the cue and replied like Rani Mukherjee.
>>"yeh kya hua, pehle to aisa hota na tha…"
>>
>>Bill then closed the door with a mischievious smile and sang
>>"Hum tum ek kamre mein band hon aur chaabi kho jaaye…"
>>the rest is history. The poor security guards outside could only
>>hear the full throated song from Nusrat Fateh Ali, "Kinna sauna
>>tenu rub ne banaya…"
>>
>>PART 2
>>
>>Monicamet her best friend Linda Tripp and confessed about her
>>affair
>>"Mera Bill bhi kitna pagal hai, pyar jo mujhse karta hai.."
>>Tripp recorded Monica's confessions and went to legal eagle
>>Kenneth Starr with her cassette and screamed
>>"Le gayee Bill, Lewinsky…paagal mujhe kar diya".
>>Starr called Clinton and asked
>>"Yeh kya hua, kaise hua kab hua….."
>>But Bill cleverly interrupted and said
>>"Oh chhodo, ye na poocho.."
>>
>>Now Starr persisted and sang
>>"Jhoot bole kowaa kaate…"
>>
>>Now Bill was very angry with Monica and called her up
>>
>>Bill: Aye, kya bolti tu?
>>Monica: Aye, kya main boloon…?
>>Bill: Sun
>>Monica: Suna
>>Bill: Kyon kiya ghotala"?
>>Monica: Kya karoon,, ho gayi thi kantala(i.e. bored)
>>
>>PART 3
>>
>>Finally Cliton decided to tell Starr all,
>>"Bill kya kare jab kisi se kisi ko pyaar ho jaye……" . ,
>>to which Starr had a ready replay,
>>"Aye Bill hai mushkil jeena yahan, zara bach ke, zara hat ke, yeh
>>hai White House meri jann!"
In light humour...,
Ladka bola :
kash in hasinao ke baap mar jate,
kash in hasinao ke baap mar jate,
bahana gham ka hota, hum inke ghar to aate.
Ladki boli:
Bewkoof, Yeh bolana bhi paap hoga,
Bewkoof, Yeh bolana bhi paap hoga,
kisi din tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga.
Wah.....Wah..............
*****
Ladki boli:
Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se
nahi,
Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se
nahi,
Mohabbat ek se hoti hai, hazaaron se nahi.
Ladka bola :
Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka
kya
hoga,
Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka
kya
hoga,
Mohabbat agar ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya
hoga.
Wah....Wah...................
*****
Bewafa sanam se to cigarette achi hai,
Bewafa sanam se to cigarette achi hai,
Dil jalati hai, par hoto se to lagti hai
Wah....Wah...................
*****
Voh Sadak Ke Us Paar Thi
Hum Sadak Ke Is Paar The
Kuch Hum Aage Badhe, Kuch Voh Aage Badhi
Hum Kuch Aur Aage Badhe, Voh Bhi Kuch Aur
Aage Badhi
Hum Kuch Aur Aage Badhe, Voh Bhi Kuch Aur
Aage Badhi
Ab Hum Sadak Ke Us Paar Hein, Aur Voh Sadak
Ke Is Paar
Hein
*****
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
[Audience: Are bhai, aage bhi to bolo.]
Hawa hi hawa hai.
*****
Gam woh cheez hai
Gam woh cheez hai
Gam woh cheez hai
Jisse kagaz chipkaye jaate hain
*****
Tumko dekha to yeh khayaal aaya
Ki kal raat maine itna kyon khaya.
*****
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai
..
Ke kyon mere dil mein khayal aata hai ye
Kabhi Kabhi ??
*****
Aapne mere man se khela
Aapne mere tan se khela
Aapne mere dhan se khela
Well played! well played! well played!!
*****
Tum aa gaye ho,
Noor aa gaya hai
Chalo teeno movie chalen.--
*****
Aasmaan mein ud raha hai kabootar
Aasmaan mein ud raha hai kabootar
Flutter Flutter, Flutter Flutter
***************
> Abhi abhi to pyaar ka computer kiya hai chaaloo
>Apne dil ki hard disk pe aur kitni files daaloo
>Apne chehare se ruswaai ka error to hatao
>Ai jaaneman apne dil ka password to batao
>
>Woh to hum hai jo aap ki chahat dil main rakhate hai
>Warna aap jaise softwares to bazaar main bikte hai
>
>Roz raat aap mere sapne main aate ho
>Mere pyar ko mouse bana ke ungaliyon pe nachaate ho
>
>Tere pyar ka email mere dil ko lubhataa hai
>Par bicch main tere baap ka virus aataa hai
>
>Aur karvaaoge humse kitnaa intezaar
>Hamaare dil ki site pe kabhi enter to maro yaar
>Apne insult ka badalaa dekho kaise loonga
>Jaaneman tere baap ko shift delete kar doonga
>
>Aap jaiso ke liye dil ko cut ker diya karte hai
>Warna baaki cases main to copy paste kiya karte hai
>
>Aapka hasnaa aap ka chalnaa aap ki woh style
>Hur waqt karti hai humhay ghayal
**************
teray piyar mey hum surhad paar kar bethay
teray piyar mey hum surhad paar kar bethay
India pohanchay to gola kha ker wafaat paa bethay
**************
Teray piyar mey kutaaaa ban gaya hoon
teray piyar mein kutaaaa ban gaya hoon
yaqeen nahi aataa to
wowooowowowowowowowowowowoowowowowowowo
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Dil Logi, Ke Jaan Logi
Meri Jaan Set Hone main Kitna Time Logi
Industrian sari mere yaar kha gaye
Meri Sari jaydaaad rishtedar kha gaye
Marne Ke baad bhi unho ne ki meri saath che ating
banaye mazar to minaar kha gaye
Use karte hein make-up ka daba roze kiyun?
Ban sanwar kar nikalte hain chailaa roze kiyun?
Mummy tum to kehti thee Eid to kab kee gaye
Phir Parosan se gale miltay hain Papa roze kiyun?
Yeh zulfain hain tumhari, ya resham ke jaal,
Kitne khush-naseeb hain vo choohe
Jin hon ne kutre tere baaal
Soldier Soldier.....pressure cooker khol kar
Sabzi meri uraa le gaya
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai,
Exam paas aaye, sir mera dukhaye
Teacher ne na jaaane kyun, dande dikhaye,
Ab to mera sir, jaage na sota hai,
Kya karoon haye, kuch kuch hota hai....
Rafta Rafta dekho aankh meri lari hai
Aaankh jis se lari hai woh meri maa se bhi bari hai
Mard taange waala
Hoon main mard taaange wala
Mujhe teacher kya marega
Main to hoon principal ka saaala
Sheeshi bhari gulab ki, phatthar se phor doon
Pant wali mil jaye to ghanghre wali ko chor doon
Woh jab chalti hai to raahon main 100-100 ke note bichata hoon
Woh chaali jati hai tab uthaa leta hoon
Sheeshi bhari gulab ki, sheesha chatak gaya,
Buddhi ne aankh maari, buddha latak gaya
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
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