'Oh god, what am I thinking?' he thought horrified.
Simon--See the above paragraph.
Jason--Thanks, Si.
Simon--Don't mention it.

"It must be the heat"
Kyle--The heat, and the fire, and the steam...
Robert--Stop, Kyle, or we'll start up again!
Kyle (wickedly) It's already up again!
Jason (Rocky the Squirrel)--Again?!

he muttered for the second time that afternoon,
Kyle--Jase, why did you mutter 'For the second time that afternoon?'
Jason (shrugging) Because Tangerine said so?
Kyle--Oh! Makes sense. Do you always do what ladies tells you?
Jason--Heh heh heh.

reaching for the bottle of water beside him. He drank deeply, his eyes closed
Perry--Temba, his eyes closed. Temba, his eyes open.
Simon--Ladies and gents, the Picard/Captain Dathon slash. Enjoy.

and missed
Robert--The season premiere of Star trek--Voyager.
Perry--Trust me, he isn't missing much.

the darkly speculative gleam in Perry's eyes.
"Alright, I think this'll do for tonight" he heard Robert say, and relieved,
Simon--Himself.

Jason stood up quickly. Too quickly it seemed. His foot caught between the legs of his chair, upsetting his balance and he started to fall.
Robert--(singing) I've been watching Jason fall, for what seems like five seconds...

Jason felt strong
Jason--I'd been eating spinach!

arms grab him and he reflexively reached out.
"Are you alright?" He heard a voice say with concern and Jason looked up into Perry's eyes.
Jason (Little Red Riding Hood) My Perry what big eyes you have!
Perry--(as Wolf) All the better to see you with, my dear!

"I've never had a drummer fall for me before." Perry murmured, the slightest quirk to his lips. Jason opened his mouth to retort when he gulped.
Robert--Ahem. I shan't go there.
Simon--Huh? Since when?

Perry smelled awfully
Perry--Hey!

good.
Perry--Oh!

He felt a tiny flame
Kyle--(Beavis) Hehe, hmmnh, fire! Fire!

lick through his groin
Jason--(Butthead) My dick's on fire...huhuhuh...cool...

as he noted the clean slightly woodsy-green scent.
Simon--Of new and improved Pine-Sol!

The sweat Jason felt through Perry's shirt added a musky allure that made him want to...
Robert--Throw Perry into the shower and give him a good scrubbing!
Simon (leers at Perry)--Heh. Don't we all?

Jason jerked away.
Jason--What? Already? I wanted to save it for Perry!

His hands seemed to burn
Kyle--(Beavis) Fire! Fire!
Robert--Enough, Kyle.

from where they had grabbed Perry's
All--Saaaaaay...

waist,
All--(disapointed) Ohh. had moved them tentatively in a caress. Perry's slight intake of breath
Perry--By this time my lungs were aching for air...

might've been Jason's imagination but he wasn't ready to test that out.

Kyle--He wanted to give his imagination more time to study.
Robert--(As teacher)Now class, here is the question for the test. If Jason gets a raging hard-on in three seconds, and Perry gets naked in two, how long before kyle walks in and makes it a threesome?
Kyle--That's a trick question! I'm not with the band!

"Uh, thanks man" Jason mumbled stepping back. He bumped into the drum stage
Perry (As drumstage--New Yorker)--'Ey! Hello! Can't you see me sittin' heah?

and Perry grabbed his
All--Saaaaay!

arm
All--Awww...

before he fell again, backwards.
Perry--Jason Cooper has been secretly replaced by Chevy Chase. Let's see if the fans notice.

"I'm ok, thanks again" he said and before Perry could reply, waved "See you later"
Simon--How do you "Wave 'See you later?' (Jason waves see you later)
Simon--Oh, I see.

and quickly walked away. He noticed that Robert and Simon had already made themselves scarce.
Perry (looking about) My, Roberts and Simons are hard to find these days...

Back in his room again,
Simon--Jason wanked.
Jason--Okay, that's getting stretched thin...

Jason felt
Robert--Himself.
Jason--Stop that!

exhausted with the images that wouldn't stop playing in his mind like a music sample that looped over and over, with variations added.
Kyle--New and improved erotic bandmate imagery! Ten percent new footage.

He stripped down to his boxers,
(The guys whistle and applaud as Jason blushes)

deciding that a pre-concert nap wouldn't be out of hand
Simon--some things might be *in* hand...
(Jason glares)

and climbed into bed throwing off the satin quilt as he yawned. Austin Powers asked: `Do I make you horny, baby...well do I?' Jason laughed "Not you!" then fell silent realising he was thinking of Perry again
Jason (Rocky the Squirrel)--Again?!

even as images of Robert and Simon writhing naked and hot crossed his mind. He gasped as their images were replaced by ones of him and Perry, and groaning softly, he gave into it. "Just once..."
Simon--(Triumphant)See? See? Told you so! Hahahaha!
(Jason sticks tongue out at Si)

Later when the soft buzz
Jason--Of a vibrator.
Kyle--Ooooh.

of alarm woke him, Jason covered his eyes with his hand as he remembered what he had done.
Simon--(As Jason) Bloody hell, I've gone and made my eyes all sticky!
The others--Ewwwwww!

He felt like whimpering.
Jason--Naww, I did that earlier. I couldn't possibly whimper more.
Kyle (purring)--I'm sure I could prove you wrong...

Suddenly his hand stilled and lowered as he blinked; he still had his boxers on. Jason smiled wryly then really did whimper
Kyle--See?

as the fact that he'd had another dream registered in his mind,
Robert--As Mr. and Mrs. Falworth of Surrey.

which did little to ease his pains. He heard a knock on the door and still slightly dazed, got up and seeing that it was Perry, opened the door without thinking. He froze, stopping the door midway as a strong sense of deja vu swept over him.

"Jason?" Perry poked his head around the bit of space that was open. Jason let go of the door, aware of his lack of clothing as Perry smiled at him. He felt suddenly shy,
Jason--Awww, gee, shucks...

but after all this time could hardly proclaim modesty. Nevertheless.
Kyle--Therefore.
Robert--Furthermore...
Simon--Right.

"What's up?"
(Much snickering ensues)

Jason turned around to pick up his denims, wincing as he did so. Great choice of words, there.

Kyle--We went there and we weren't wrong!

He didn't see Perry turn sideways to watch him, his eyes speculative.
Robert--As opposed to experimental.

"Oh, well you left so quickly at soundcheck I didn't get a chance to ask if you wanted to get something to eat later," Perry explained. "Are you hungry?"
Jason--Ummmm, ooooh. Depends what for!
Kyle--Mmmm. Perry.

Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him, but Perry sounded casual enough, innocent enough.
Robert--Tangerine doesn't know Perry well, does she?
Perry--Heh heh heh.

Jason pulled an orange t-shirt on over his head, peering at Perry through the top. He lowered his arms adjusting the shirt slowly. Perry had yawned, stretching his arms, out and Jason's gaze was drawn to the sprinkle of hair arrowing down Perry's torso to disappear mysteriously
Jason--Oooh, I wonder where it goes?
Perry--Would you and Kyle like to find out later?
Kyle--Damn straight!
Perry-Actually...

below his denims. So distracted was he, that he didn't notice what Perry was about to do.
Robert--Quick, man! Jump him while he's distracted!

"Teddy, wait! Jason warned, his arm outstretched.
Perry--Temba, his arms outstretched.
Robert--That's going to wear thin, too.

"Don't..." as Perry sat down on the pink velour chair.
Simon--Stop...
Jason--Don't...
Simon--Stop...
Both--Don't stop! (they laugh)

"...Sit there" Jason finished weakly.

Perry--My, it takes you a long time to say things.
Jason--That's weekly, not weakly.

It took a few seconds before Perry
Kyle--Reduced Jason to begging.
Jason--That's the next story!
Perry--Oooh, I hope so!

felt the water soaked cushion anyway as he got up and twisted to look behind him.
Simon (Perry)--Oh, I do *indeed* have a sexy arse!

He didn't need to see to know that his whole backside was nicely
Robert--Firm and sexy.
(Perry grins)

soaked.
"I forgot I had my swimtrunks on when I sat there earlier..." Jason explained and Perry murmured that he seemed to be rather distracted lately. "We could go to your suite for a change...of clothes" Jason added as an afterthought.

"All my stuff is being laundered, this is my gear for tonight."
Kyle and Simon--Oooh...how bloody conveeeeeeeeenient...

Jason's heart sank a bit at the news.
Jason--But my other bits rose!

"Why don't you take them off."
Robert--Yes! Yes! Take them off!

At Perry's raised brows, he rushed
Jason--Away in the opposite direction.
Perry--(pouting) I thought you wanted me!

on. "We...we could get those dried while we have supper."

"Sure, but I don't think they'll allow guests to dine in a towel unless we do it here."
Perry--No, I shant think they'd let us do it in the dining room!
Jason--You went there, man!

Perry mused.
Robert--My guess would be Erato.

"Do it...? Oh, you mean eat!
Jason--Well, we can do that too (leers)
Perry--Will you be my dinner plate?
Jason--Ooh...

Oh yeah, sure," Jason felt himself starting to ramble, but couldn't quite stop himself, staring as Perry moved to take his denims off. Perry was about to push his boxers down when Jason asked, "Wha--what are you doing?"
Perry--What does it look like I'm doing? Giving you the full monty!
Jason--Oooh, yessss...

a tiny thread of panic in his voice. When Perry turned around, Jason could see that Perry's boxers were soaked through. He could also see that they clung to and outlined an incredibly sexy arse.
Perry--Told you so!

At Perry's lifted brow, Jason turned to grab
Robert--Simon, who had just wandered into the room...

a towel from the bathroom,
Simon--As opposed to one from the library, I suppose?

unable to keep from looking down at Perry's
Robert--Toes?
Simon--Knees?

slightly fitted boxers
Kyle--That too.

as he handed it over.
Simon (As Perry)--All right, hand it over!

He heard a small chuckle and looked up. "Are you trying to tell me something Jason?" Perry held up a facecloth.
Perry--Yeah! Just what *are* you trying to tell me?
Jason (leering) Take a guess. (Perry ponders)
Perry--You want me to polish the bar?
Kyle--(grinning) You *could* call it that.

Jason, face flushing and mumbling apologies,
Robert (Peering at Jason)--Your face mumbles apologies? What else does it do?
Jason--I thought you'd know *that* by now!

came back with another towel. This,
Kyle--That.
Simon--The other thing.

Perry wrapped around his waist and dropped his boxers.
Perry--And Mike Tyson and Oscar De La Jolla fall to the floor with a thud!

As Perry bent to pick up his wet clothing, the towel suddenly loosened and gaped open.
All--Yesssss...
Perry--Hey! It was an accident!
(Robert pats Perry's shoulder) Sure it was, man. We believe you. Sure.

"Whoops," Perry said, catching it in time. He grinned at Jason who gamely
Jason--My smile smells?
Simon--You're thinking gamey.
Jason--Oh, right!

smiled back.

"I can get you a larger towel" Jason offered. A bedsheet
Robert (Christof from the SP movie) Sheet! Sheet! Ze fuckin' guard dogs! I hate zem!

would be better, he thought, nodding as Perry declined. He didn't think so.
Kyle (Homey D Clown) I don' tink so...Homey don' play dat...
Robert--Huh?

A bedsheet wouldn't be nearly large enough,
Perry (grinning) The author flatters me!

Jason decided later as he stood by the front door. Dinner had arrived
Robert--Notice how carefully tangerine chose her wording there.
Simon--How so?
Robert--She could have said 'Dinner had come...'

and hotel service had picked up Perry's clothing for drying. Jason had just closed the door
Kyle--And he realised he was on the wrong side of it, locking in Perry.

when he heard Austin Powers leering the same phrase he'd heard about an hour earlier when he lay on the bed. He froze a brief instant, then turned he turned to see Perry half reclining on his bed.
Perry--Don't look at me! Don't you look at me! Mommy! MOMMY!
Robert--No more Blue Velvet for *you*, young man.

He was running his palms across the satin quilt he apparently replaced. "Nice room" he said grinning. He seemed rather oblivious to his position or for that matter, how the towel had suddenly seemed to shrink.
Kyle--Next week on Mystery science Theatre 3000, The Incredible Shrinking Towel!

"I'm glad you think so" Jason said dryly, glad that his voice didn't betray his cool when he felt anything but.
Simon--Anything but what?
Perry--Me, apparently!

"It's more interesting than my room" Perry said,
Kyle--(Perry) I have the Janitor's Closet Suite!

sitting up as Jason took the cover off their dinner plates. Jason looked at the only table in the room, which was very low, and of clear glass.
Simon--How fortunate! This will simplify everything!

Jason decided he wasn't about to tempt fate by having Perry sit cross legged.
Robert--Awww, why not?
Kyle--Because tangerine is dragging this out, and if Jason and Perry jump each other now, there won't be a next story!

He put the plates on the bed and perched
Simon--Bassed.
Kyle--Carped.
Perry--Trouted.
(Robert rolls his eyes)

gingerly
Perry--Lavenderly.
Kyle--Pepperly.
Jason--Garlicly.
Robert--Enough!

opposite Perry. He speared a green bean and nearly choked on Perry's
(Much throat clearing and snickering)

next words.
All--Awwww...

Perry reached over, heedless of their dinner to pat Jason's back,
Robert--Good Jason...

concern in his eyes.



"What did you say?" Jason gasped,
Perry (Kyle B.) I said I have a really bad itch!
Jason (Ms Crabtree) Oh, I have that too, right on my bum!

taking the glass of water Perry offered.
"I said there's not much you can do with the Orgazmo Room" Perry repeated. He peered at Jason curiously. "What did you think I said?"

"I thought you said `there's not much you can do with an orgas--'" Jason began, then caught himself.
Kyle--Again?
Jason--Knock it off already with the wanking jokes!

He flushed slightly, as Perry chuckled low in his throat, obviously having figured it out. He liked Perry's laugh he realised. He liked the feel of Perry's hand on his back
Simon (As Perry)--Do you find me pleasing? Do I please you?

and tried not to lean into it. Tried not to miss it when Perry moved back to
Perry--Krakatoa, east of Java. Bensonville, east of Muncie.
Robert--Now stop that!
Perry--Heh heh.
Robert--No more Java, I mean it!
Kyle--Anybody want a peanut?
Robert--Gaaaah!

straighten their plates and resume eating. He looked up suspiciously, a moment later, upon hearing a snicker.
Jason--But it was actually a Mars Bar.

Perry glanced back apologetically, barely choking
Jason--His chicken.
Perry--Hey!
Jason--See how you like it! (laughs)
Perry (MiSTing Jason)--How would you like a little fire, Scarecrow?
Jason (whinging) Rob! Perry's MiSTing me!
Robert (deadpan) Stop MiSTing the drummer, Perry.

back a laugh. Jason tried to scowl and found his mouth
Kyle--On Perry's--
Simon--Next story, man. Next story.

twitching in amusement instead. Then he joined in as Perry's laughter rang out. Jason didn't know why it was so funny, but he didn't care. He liked this too. Perry was his friend, he had nothing to worry about.
Robert--Or so he thought....bwahahahahaha!
Jason (shivering) Never do that again!

Roger looked up from the screen. He had a ton of email to answer, yet he was so caught up in the humour of the tale he couldn't get away. "I don't know what's more fun...this MiSTing or--"

Roger shuddered just then. He'd very nearly said "Or the idea of Perry and Jason being intimate." He gave his head a hard shake.

"Just a story," he muttered, and tried not to think where his mind was going.