:: Tuesday, November 19, 2002 ::

Thailand to Malaysia

Ko Phi Phi

(n.b. Pictures are already up!) After our 10-day stint on Ko Pha Ngan in Thailand, which was as close to Paradise as we have found (so far), we headed south west to Krabi, and from there to Ko Phi Phi. The waters on this island were crystal clear, but the razor-sharp broken coral lining the shallow waters meant that it was less than ideal for our new preferred sport of frisbeeing. Such hardship! The other problem with Phi Phi was the sewerage system. When the local government had run out of cash half way through constructing the sewage tunnels necessary for the ever-increasing volume of tourist traffic stopping on the island, they had decided to 'solve' the crisis by simply cementing over the manhole-covers and hoping the problem would go away. Needless to say the tourists didn't stop relieving themselves, with the result that when the tide is very high, some of the excess slops out into the sea and stinks out the whole town. This was a big problem - even the tourist guide advises you not to open your mouth in the shower!


The big pull on Ko Phi Phi was the smaller of the two islands - Phi Phi Leh. Several of the scenes from 'The Beach' were filmed there, and tourists flock there daily in their hundreds to pay homage not only to Leonardo DiCaprio's unique acting talents, but also the beauty of Maya Bay. This is our old friend karst topography at its best: sheer rocks jutting out of the emerald sea, surrounding a bay on three-and-a-half sides. In between the edges of the rock 'croissant' is a perfect golden beach - deserted in the film, overrun with tourists in reality. Here we were treated to our first experience of snorkelling. We headed to the rocks around the bay and had perfect visibility down to the coral and legions of exotic fish below. We were then whisked off to various other beauty sports around the island, to gawp at more metre-wide brains, spiky urchins with fluorescent, staring purple eyes and rainbow fish. In comparison to the zero-visibility diving we had experienced on Ko Pha Ngan, this was paradise, and we didn't even have to go below the surface. Neither of us can wait to experience the great barrier reef now.

Pulau Penang

From Phi Phi, we took a minibus to Hat Yai - the last major Thai town on the way to the Malaysian border. We spent an uninspiring night there, traipsing through the shopping centres in the rain. The town was full of Malays, taking advantage of the cheap shopping and thriving sex-trade, but it was a cheap place to stay and we were able to leave early the next morning and head for Malaysia. Having crossed the border, we had the impression we had jumped forward 20 years. Everything about Malaysia was more modern - from the expensive cars, to the fast-moving three-lane highways, to the well-stocked service stations. In no time at all we reached Butterworth, then caught the ultra-efficient vehicle ferry (it even had life jackets!) over to Penang Island. This was our second experience of ex-British colonies after Burma. It was colonised by some plucky Brit (no doubt with a cumbersome 'tache) long before Melaka or Singapore. The British influence is obvious not only in the town itself (orderly terraced housing, double-yellow lines, a defensive fort complete with useless cannons in the North-West corner) but also the language. Words like 'Motosikal' (motorocycle) 'Teksi' (taxi) 'Stesen' (Station) 'Poskod' (post code) 'Aktiviti' (activity) and 'Diskaun' (discount) are amusing, if sometimes more logical, variations on the mother tongue. The phrase 'Buka 24 Jam' (Open 24 hours) sounds more Ali G than 7-Eleven. We were also tickled by a restaurant which had self-deprecatingly been called 'The yellow excellent restaurant', although we resisted the temptation to check out the claim for ourselves. Georgetown (the 'capital' of Penang) has a large Chinatown (where the backpacker hostels are concentrated), and a little India. The food in Little India was not only excellent value, but the modest little restaurants served probably the best rubies in the world. In true Indian style (I assume!) they served the food on a flattened banana leaf, and the eating was done manually. Needless top say, Barney dived enthusiastically in, and ended up up to the maker's nameplate in chicken tandoori.


The defensive fort had been built in wood originally, but was later rebuilt in brick. It was the brainchild of the paranoid first British settler Mr Light. It was eventually named after the improbably-monikered Mr Cornwallis (Beavis and Butthead's Cornholio springs to mind), but was never considered strong enough to withstand an attack. So crap did the government find Fort Cornholio, in fact, that they refused to stump up any cash for its renovation, so it is now an even crapper tourist 'attraction'. Slightly better were the funicular railways leading to the top of Penang Hill. Having decided to visit them at rush hour (in the last four months we'd forgotten that rush hours could exist), we spent an hour on a bus to cover 10km then waited another hour for a connecting bus to the base of the funicular. Another hour later we were at the top, and it was persistently raining - so much so that we could barely see the lit-up town 800 metres below. As all the food stalls were closed we couldn't even fill our unfed bellies, and with no umbrella we were confined to the funicular terminus to wait for the next train back and the hellish bus journey back... or so we thought. In the end, we were rescused by a pair of lads, one from Kuala Lumpur and his companion from Singapore. They took pity on us, firstly lending us an umbrella, then giving us a lift into town and treating us to a slap-up meal of Malaysian favourites, including Satay chicken and oyster omelette, before taking us back to the hostel. This was all done in the name of Malaysian hospitality, but it was more than that for the bedraggled pair of us - it was a lifesaver.

Pulau Pangkor

Next stop was the smaller island of Pulau Pangkor, further down the west coast of Peninsular Malaysia. We hooked up with fellow backpackers Al and Jo (sounds vaguely familiar?) as well as Taka, a very endearing but clinically insane Japanese dude (wonder what he's writing about us in his diary). We spent the next few days playing frisbee, snorkelling and seeking out the world's finest cheese sandwich (still looking). The snorkelling was again very impressive, and among other critters we spotted puffer fish, enormous jellyfish, schools of see-through thingies and sting rays. We were lucky to see it all now, as it is soon to be turned into a commercial dive-site. Perhaps even more impressive was the frisbee, which has now turned into a fine art (ahem!) To the 3 different throwing styles (of varying effectiveness) has been added the downhill glory run. which has the power to make the 'runner' look either like a Hasselhof-esque beachside legend or an Eddie 'the Eagle' Edwards-esque friendless tw@t.

Kuala Lumpur

One morning, Claire mumbled something about a lumpy koala, so we caught the ferry back to the mainland and then a bus into the nation's fine capital. Having made our way in the drizzle to Chinatown, we checked out a few budget hostels, which certainly lived up to their name. Of the three we saw (none of whose inter-cellular partition walls reached the ceiling), the 'best' one had filthy sheets on the beds and (presumably) human excrement smeared up the walls of the shared squat toilet. When Claire asked where the shower was, the proud owner pointed to a hose dangling on the floor amongst the aforementioned 'dirty protest'. Trainspotting eat yer heart out. Convinced that there must be something better in a city of that size, we headed off in the rain towards the 'golden triangle'. This is the business district, where the famous twin towers are located. To our relief we found a delightful, friendly hostel with sit-down loos, clean rooms and even air-con. Saved!


KL's main attraction are the twin Petronas towers (as featured in third-rate Hollywood flop 'Entrapment', in which viewers are treated to the electrifying dialogue and effortless chemistry between an ageing Sean Connery and thinking Welshman's crumpet Catherine Zeta Jones). The towers are, and have been for some time through with increasingly less competition, the world's tallest. They stand 452m high, with a viewing platform at a disappointingly low 140m. Nevertheless, tourists are treated to a display in the foyer, showcasing the design and construction of the towers, as well as providing the opportunity for photos taken next to a picture of the towers(?) and some poetry 'inspired' by the towers. This pitiful drivel revolved around 'meeting the challenges of the new millennium'. (Which millennium was that which challenged them to build some humungous towers then?) Another highlight of the city was the Museum of Islamic Arts which featured some impressive daggers and swords with inlaid handles and Arabic script on the blades, as well as Persian (and other) rugs, jewellery, ancient urns and the like, and some scale-models of the world's top 10 mosques. Other than that, life in KL revolves around enormous shopping centres. Whether or not this is an attempt to mimic the retail obsession of more 'successful' neighbour Singapore is open to debate, but it provided us with a few hours' diversion, so we can't complain.


Malaysia is in the middle of Ramadan - the Muslim fasting month. Although much of the country is not Muslim, we have travelled up to Taman Negara National Park, which is. It is slightly frustrating to us spoilt Westerners not to be able to get a decent bit of scran until after 7.30pm, but we have found solace in teasing fasting locals with bags of crisps from the tourist shop. Gosh - aren't we cruel? The English-language broadsheet The New Straits Times, prints daily lists of times (by city) when fasting can end. Thus, while those in Penang can start stuffing their faces at 6.59pm, the poor b*ggers in KL have to wait till 7.01pm. In a sign of the times, these figures appear directly under the enormous logo of their sponsors at KFC. Another quirky result of Ramadan was that we were turned away from Burger King at 5pm because there was 'no beef' in store. (nb. this was our first visit to BK in 5 months, so don't judge us too harshly!)

Taman Negara National Park

Taman Negara is an area of 'pristine virgin rainforest' (their words) in the centre of the Malaysian Peninsula. We reached it - in what is becoming familiar fashion - by bus and boat. On our first night we forked out for the 'night safari'. This entailed sitting in the back of a jeep stuffed with teenage Swedes (so it wasn't all bad) and driving around with a giant torch looking for wild animals that had enough sense not to be anywhere near. The best we saw were some 'leopard' cats (which bore a strange resemblance to domestic cats), a few wild boar and a herd of water buffalos, one of which looked like it was about to charge us. Not to mention the overwhelming sight of a couple of grumpy cows and an owl. Day 2 was a whole lot more impressive. We headed into the forest and walked along the 500m-long canopy walkway. Planks and rope supports have been strung up between trees at heights of up to 45m, and although the hoped-for families of orang-utans swinging happily among the tourists didn't materialise, it did give an awe-inspiring impression of life at the top of the jungle. We followed this up with a two hour hike uphill in blistering temperatures. On the way down we were rewarded with a cooling rain shower, followed by the most expensive beer of the whole trip (two quid fifty for a half-pint). However, the lack of booze has been the only real down-side of visiting a strictly Muslim area. Oh, that and the 24-hour rainstorm which followed. But we mustn't split hairs: after all, if it wasn't for the storm you wouldn't be reading this nonsense.


Next stop is the historical (what does that mean?) coastal city of Melaka. Then onto more ex-English colonies with Singapore, followed by Hong Kong. Watch this space...


:: Barney 10:57 AM [+] ::
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