Dreams

He walks with me through my dream world

08-10-03

Puzzles complete and finding my contract dream

 I woke up to a lengthy dream in which I had traveled some distance to get to the place I woke up in.. but me and the man who walks with me through my dream had traveled to this rather antique looking place. There were antiques from all different time slots in this place so I was wondering around looking at everything with a child like fascination. Yet the items I seemed most attracted to were the ones that came from the castle.

I found this table that had these beautiful little pill box looking cases. They were small, only taking up about as much space as the opening of the chakra on my palms.. 1 1/2 to 2 inches round.. and flat like a pill.. I picked up this pretty one. Its overlay had been delicately painted with a picture of soft pastel flowers. When I took off the lid, inside it was like a puzzle. Each of the flowers and their petals had been carefully crafted by precious stones, each piece placed carefully in its place so that the effect was the same as the overlay picture from the lid.. and the puzzle was complete. There were no missing pieces.

There were some more of these precious little boxes laying there, so I picked up another one. Its overlay was more brilliantly colored. When I took off the lid, inside I saw one beautiful flower. The precious stone in its center was ruby red with gold petals.. But when I looked at the lid I realized that all the precious stones were not in there.. kind of made me feel like the puzzle was not complete.

So I picked up another one and opened it. This one had two completed flowers in it, both of them with rubies as their center and gold petals. They weren't laying together but with a gentle movement of the box they just sort of slipped into place and I could see that once the puzzle was complete this one too would be a perfect reflection of the picture that had so delicately been painted onto the overlay of the lid. With this I thought, oooh I think I’ll buy the first one, so I turned it over to see how much it would cost. It said something like $2.67 (Wow, so I got it.)

With this I turned and found myself and the one who walks with me through my dreams in a grocery store. It seemed we had these people we were responsible for shopping for. I had a list to one and he had the list to another. So we set about picking up the items. When we came back together, I had little in my cart.. But his cart was full.

So I was trying to make certain I had did it right and began asking him if he had the list. I had this feeling that I was only supposed to pick up $30 worth of food and he was supposed to pick up $100 worth of food.. but to me it looked like he had picked out a whole cart of bread.. and me with my meat and vegetables barely covering the bottom of the basket.. well I was wondering if I did something wrong (like was my mission to only stock up on one item?) So I’m asking him if we can compare our lists. He takes both of them out of his pocket and begins to look them over. Then he hands them to me and I begin to look at them.

To my amazement they are the contracts that we sign before we agree to come into these lives. Mine was the short one that I(?! ) wrote when I agreed to come into that life. I wrote it as simply, “I agree to undergo this test (with specific test listed) in order to learn this lesson (with the lesson listed in words.) I agree to undergo this test in order to learn this lesson. I agree to undergo this happening in order to grow in this fashion..) It was a very short list stating simply the facts: that I was aware of what I was facing in this life I was agreeing to come into.

The other contract was very long, very poetically written, almost like a song.. like “okay, in order to achieve my maximum growth, I agree to face those who are prejudiced against me so that I may overcome my prejudice. And in order to overcome hatred, I agreed to come into a family where one side will touch me wrong and take away my innocence and the other side will be the light that guides me. And I agree that through my Indian blood great visions will come to me, I will be guided from within as my world turns against me, throwing me into great chaos, I agree to enter fully into the darkness in order that the Light of Love will emerge from within my soul, and that I will be a light that shines in the darkness. And I agree…”

It was much longer than this very poetically written, like a song, well thought out…. And it was the one that he was buying the bread for. But they were both me: me in other times in space and I had the distinct impression that as we near the end of our journey of life after life, each one we agree to come into, that there comes a moment when.. like we merge with our Higher Selves, become One and then it is that we go back and are the ones who are so filled with love for everything that we experienced on the road there that this is why somewhere deep inside of ourselves, even in our darkest moments we reach back to give ourselves what we need to continue..

I woke up and it was like Wow!

And so much more because it answered the mystery of this last year.

When I was 12 (or so) I received the gift of vision. I was staring with wonders eyes into the face of a flower when suddenly I was transported across America to the Grand Canyon. Stand there, in all her glory, honoring the setting sun was the most beautiful Indian princess I have ever seen. She took me to her village and began to teach me the lessons of her people, to walk One with Nature and how it was that the Laws of Nature were the Laws of God.. and that no matter what happened, if I could see it in Nature, it was okay to just be.

Even in darkest moments when I was convinced there could be no God, she stayed with me teaching me the Laws of Nature, all from inside my head.

I entered totally and completely into the darkness when I was 15 (thrust there by an exorcism.) I cried from the time I was 15 until I was 30. Then I had a few years of light (when I met writers like the ones who come here) Then I was thrust back into the darkness where I cried, again, until 3 years ago. And I always questioned Why? Why would you travel back so far in time and space to let me know I am so special to you? What is so special about me that you would do this? I’m just this little white girl. Why would you want to bother with this girl who sits and cries all the time? And she would just say, “Great power in those tears Maureen. Great power in those tears.”

Then 3 years ago, in the midst of a double nightmare, an Ancient Tree Spirit appears to me and begins to explain to me that I’m perceiving it all wrong. She tells me that this is my ChiCheetowah, my Rite of Passage, the path that will take me to the place that feels like home.. And then I’m home and I’m cleaning this Indian figurine, and the more I clean her, the more pliable she becomes until soon she is humbly on her hands and knees. Then her back begins to contort, I hear a crackling noise, then POP! As wings come out of her back, she begins to rise and I awaken from my dream.

I followed that path through the gray mist, through the gray veil that shrouded the place I knew was my destiny, the place that felt like home. And in the last year I connected to my Indian Heritage. As soon as that happened

  I am home.

Then about a month ago, in the place where us dreamers meet to discuss our dream journey openly, someone comes and tells me that she seen me in her dream. An Indian dancer with a head dress of feathers going down her back, dressed in light tan regalia with fringe hanging down, dancing the dance of Nature around the fire circle. She see’s me as the one who has walked inside of me for all these years.

Then there comes a tear in veil of time, a moments vision opens up before me. I am dancing my dance, the one where I merge with Nature and the Tree and the wind sweeps and swirls through my branches causing the movements of my sacred dance. It’s me, I know my dance.. and its her at the same time. And I am wearing the regalia I saw her wearing as she lived inside of me. We are One. It is why she loved me so much that she would travel so far to make certain I didn’t get lost in darkness. We are One.